Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Blind Item #3

It must have been awkward when this married former A+ list celebrity turned B list reality star turned creepy dude was in line with his wife and his wife ran into a well known male porn star actor who then started talking about the two scenes they had shot together. Yeah, she kind of forgot to tell her husband she shot porn before.

123 comments:

FSP said...

Hedgehog

Tricia S said...

David Foster,Yolanda?

sandybrook said...

Snoop Dawg

Tricia S said...

Or
Howard Stern/ Beth

figgy said...

Bruce Jenner

Snit said...

oh dear lord I don't want to think about Kris having done porn.

SaintsFan said...

Do people really bring that kind of thing up in front of someone's spouse? If they know or not is irrelevant, it's about respect. Gosh people. I need to move to Hollywood and give some damn manners classes.

sugarbread maker said...

Oh heeeyyyyy you!! Remember that time you jammed it up my ass?? Honey say I to my former business partner! !

Sherry said...

Reminds me of "Best in Show" I believe it was where Cookie kept running into all her former one night stands and they would go on about it in front of her husband.

Basil said...

I'm not buying this one. Anyone, with any sort of celebrity, from A-Z list, it would have come out that they had done porn by now. Someone would have found something on the internet.

QueenAnne Guido said...

I LOVE BEST IN SHOW. Parker, I've got a squeak toy....

Sugar said...

Sherry that is a beautiful analogy! That movie is the tops!

You OBVIOUSLY don't know my dog!!

jane3113 said...

Hulk hogan marry that chick yet?

CoBe said...

Busey? Is he married?

CoBe said...

Busey not married. But Bret Michaels is.

Also, Best in Show is one of the best movies ever made.

CoBe said...

Busey not married. But Bret Michaels is.

Also, Best in Show is one of the best movies ever made.

CoBe said...

Busey not married. But Bret Michaels is.

Also, Best in Show is one of the best movies ever made.

CoBe said...

Busey not married. But Bret Michaels is.

Also, Best in Show is one of the best movies ever made.

Haywood Jablomee said...

David Schwimmer, his wife, and Rocco Sifreddi

Haywood Jablomee said...

Hugh Jackman, his wife, and Peter North

Haywood Jablomee said...

Ben Affleck, his wife, and Dale DaBone

Haywood Jablomee said...

Patrick Dempsey, his wife, and Brian Surewood

Haywood Jablomee said...

Christopher Noth, his wife, and Michael Stefano

Haywood Jablomee said...

Tobey Maguire, his wife, and Jake Steed

Haywood Jablomee said...

Vince Vaughn, his wife, and Billy Glide

Sugar said...

Are you ok, Haywood?

Haywood Jablomee said...

Beats working right now.

Sugar said...

Amen to that.

All Lace no Leather said...

@Haywood are those real porn names or did you make them up? They're funny either way.

Sincerely,Your Friend said...

Bruce was first one I thought of. But the bl doesn't say the wife is a celeb.

@Basil. It doesn't say wife is "known" that's why the public might not already have put this together. (If this is true)

It is weird that a porn dude would talk shop in front of hubby and on supermarket line where all could hear. But then Porn Dude might be trippin.

Prob happened in the SF Valley, the Porn Capitol, and where Kris would market. Lol

John Meyers said...

I like the Howard Stern guess

jane3113 said...

After looking at pictures of Hulk Hogan's wife. I'm sticking by my guess. The description fits him perfectly. In the event that you think he's creepy, of course. Marrying your daughter's look a like should qualify.

MinPinGirl said...

Bulge: [interrupting Gerry and Cookie in the studio while they're recording] Cookie?
Cookie Fleck: Yeah?
Bulge: Cookie Guggleman?
Cookie Fleck: Yeah. Do I know you?
Bulge: Does this ring a bell?
[singsongs]
Bulge: "I'm not wearing underwear".
Cookie Fleck: Bulge? Get outta town!

sandybrook said...

Oh those are real poems names alright. (Not that Ive ever seen a porn film or anything like that)

sandybrook said...

*porn names*

Michael said...

Hulk Hogan was an A+ celebrity in his world at one time and he was also a reality star and is very very creepy. He pervs on his daughter and dates look alikes. I like that guess also because he hangs out with other creepy people

Count Jerkula said...

@FSP: Can't be Ron Jeremy. He wouldn't talk to anyone unless they were buying him something.

Haywood Jablomee said...

Names are real, I knew a few and found the rest through a search. Then I cleared out search history on my work computer. I own the computer, but not the network. Of course when the CEOs computer was
riddled with Russian porn and viruses, no one said anything..to his face.

crila16 said...

I like the Hulk Hogan guess...plus he was in the photos yesterday, with his new wife.

Zach said...

Howard Stern of all people would know if his wife's been in porn.

Sort of OT Billy Glide died! One must frequently check one's porn star deaths!

Yoj said...

@Sherry
"How many years ago did he poke me?"

Yoj said...

@QueenAnne Guido
"Who's that in the burgundy jacket? Mr. Hip!"

Yoj said...

@Count Jerkula
You don't have to tell me, Count, but...are you Ron Jeremy?

teresa crane said...

Yup - Hulk Hogan - he's a major perve

Amanda Groff said...

Rocco's porns are hilarious

Count Jerkula said...

@Zach: How would he know? Have you ever seen any of the extensive modeling work she did in Europe? Wouldn't be surprising if Beff has a Woodman screaming anal scene out there or a German Goo Girls scene. It is probably all nicer stuff than the Middle Eastern businessmen might have had her do.

Count Jerkula said...

@Yoj: No, not Ron Jeremy. If I could suck my own cock, I wouldn't have any time for the internet.

Yoj said...

@Count Jerkula
Tell the truth...how much time did you spend trying, before you gave up?

Count Jerkula said...

@Yoj: Not very much, I got a short stack of dimes.

Yoj said...

@Count Jerkula
I heard Justin Bieber has an 8 inch dick But it’s in his arse and belongs to Usher.
They say penis size is related to shoe size. Which makes my fear of being raped by a clown that much more rational.
Wanna dual with dirty jokes at ten paces?

Kat has left the building said...

Are you sure CoBe?

Count Jerkula said...

@Yoj: Sexual, Racist or Misogynist?

I'm on a different hard drive, so I don't have all my celebs shoehorned into dirty jokes at hand, but I can do some of them too.

Yoj said...

@Count Jerkula
I have a feeling I may have woken a sleeping giant.
Nothing racist, but anything else goes.

Count Jerkula said...

@Yoj: How come a bride wears white on her wedding day?

Cause every guy wants his dishwasher to match the fridge and sink.

Count Jerkula said...

What is the worst thing about 2 Kardashians going over a cliff in an Escalade?

An Escalade seats 8.

Yoj said...

@Count Jerkula
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A microwave doesn't brown your meat!

Yoj said...

@Count Jerkula
Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when your done.

Count Jerkula said...

What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?

Toilet don't wanna cuddle after you drop a load in it.

Yoj said...

@Count Jerkula
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.

Count Jerkula said...

Lindsay Lohan gets married to an Arabian Sheik. After a few months Dina is visiting LiLo's palace, walks into her room and finds her crying in bed.

"What's the matter Linds?" Dina says.

"Ma, it's the Sheik. All he wants to do is fuck me in the ass. Fuck Me In The Ass! Twice a day he fucks my ass. When we got married my asshole was the size of a dime. Now it is as big as a silver dollar."

Dina takes her hand and looks into her eyes and responds, "So for ninety cents, your making a big deal?"

Count Jerkula said...

How many Kennedys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, one to hold the lightbulb and one to drink until the room spins.

Yoj said...

That's both hilarious and prophetic.

Yoj said...

How could the redneck mom tell that her daughter was on her period?
She could taste the blood on her son’s dick.

Count Jerkula said...

The other day I was in an elevator w/ Tara Reid. I asked her if I could smell her pussy. She yelled "NO!", so I said it must be her feet then.

Yoj said...

That one! That's my favorite so far.

Count Jerkula said...

Whattaya say to a woman w/ no arms or legs?

Nice tits.

Yoj said...

What does a homeless woman use for a vibrator?
Two flies in a bottle.

Yoj said...

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spit, swallow, and gargle.

Count Jerkula said...

The redneck one reminds me of this classic, I slightly reworked:

Khloe needs a new dress for the prom, so she asks Bruce for some money. "You know what you have to do." he says, and Khloe proceeds to get on her knees and start blowing him. "This tastes like shit." she shouts and Bruce replies, "Yeah, Rob needed a tux and limo."

Yoj said...

What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

Count Jerkula said...

I like the Spit/Swallow/Gargle joke.

When they were married, Tom Cruise goes running into Katie's room and says, "Katie, at my last $cio get together, the guys were all teasing me that we don't have sex, so can you tell me what your pussy looks like so I can describe it next time they tease me?"

Katie tells him OK, then asks, "Before or after sex?"

"I guess before sex."

Well it looks like the petals of a flower.

"OK, thats seems pretty. How about after sex?"

Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?

Yoj said...

AND WE HAVE A WINNER!

Count Jerkula said...

Whattaya get when you cross Whoopi Goldberg and a gorilla?

An ugly gorilla.

What do you get when you cross Jessica Simpson and a stump?

A dumb stump.

Yoj said...

Whats the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken.

Count Jerkula said...

Who makes more money, Paris Hilton or her drug dealer?

Paris Hilton, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.

Yoj said...

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks 'No', the guy says, 'she's not that ugly'.

Count Jerkula said...

Why should you only roofie chicks after taking them to Indian restaurants?

Because when they wake up with a sore ass the next day, they will think it was the curry.

Count Jerkula said...

LOL @ the bag joke.

Yoj said...

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck on his cock!

Yoj said...

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck?
When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them.

Count Jerkula said...

What do you call a chick w/ no clit?

Doesn't matter she won't come.

Count Jerkula said...

What is green, slimy and smells like Miss Piggy?

Kermit's dick.

Yoj said...

LOL

Yoj said...

What does it mean when your husband is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Count Jerkula said...

What is the difference between a chef's knife and an arguing woman?

The knife has a point.

Count Jerkula said...

Why do married men like blow jobs so much?

10 minutes of peace and quiet.

Yoj said...

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?Kick his sister in the jaw.

Yoj said...

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Count Jerkula said...

Why does Beyonce say to the left to the left to the left and not to the right to the right to the right?

She knows women shouldn't have rights.

Count Jerkula said...

When is the only time it is polite to spit in an Italian girl's face?

When her mustache is on fire.

How come God invented gold chains?

So Italian guys know where to stop shaving.

Yoj said...

What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
A virgin.

Count Jerkula said...

Whats the difference between a wife and a job?

After a few years, the job still sucks.

Yoj said...

Oh, snap.

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Yoj said...

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down.
And possibly use a lubricant.

Count Jerkula said...

What is the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth?

Einstein's cock.

Yoj said...

LOL

Yoj said...

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A man will actually search for a golf ball.

Count Jerkula said...

Why do women have 2 sets of lips?

So they can piss and moan at the same time.

Why did Helen Keller's teacher wear tight pants?

So she could read her lips.

Yoj said...

Why did God create orgasms?
So women can moan even when they’re happy.

Yoj said...

What do you call a skinny woman with a yeast infection?
A Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

Count Jerkula said...

How many Kate Bosworths can you fit in a bathtub?

I don't know, they keep slipping down the drain.

Yoj said...

What's a porn star's favorite drink?

7 Up in cider.

Count Jerkula said...

What do you throw a drowning $cio?

His wife and kids.

Count Jerkula said...

LOL. In cider.

What does Michelle Obama do after she shaves her pussy?

Put a tie on him and send him to work.

Yoj said...

LOL

Yoj said...

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?

You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

Yoj said...

What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't?

Her navel.

Count Jerkula said...

What is the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?

One of em shucks between fits.

Yoj said...

lolololol

Count Jerkula said...

One last joke and then I gotta do some stuff before bed.

I move into a new house and as I was unpacking my stuff I hear a knock on the door. I open it to see John Travolta standing there. He says "Hi neighbor, just wanted to invite you to a party later. Gonna be lots of eating and drinking and fighting and fucking."

I get a big smile on my face and say, "Sounds like my kinda party, what should I wear?"

Travolta looks me dead in the eyes and says, "Doesn't matter. It's only going to be you and me."

Yoj said...

Thank you, Count. I was having a bad night and you really cheered me up.
Enjoy the rest of your evening.

LowKey said...

*applauds*

It was a tie, but Count won with the last one...

sugarbread maker said...

i laughed so hard my little chihuahua jumped off my chest from a deep slumber and is now mad cause i couldn't stop laughing and waking her up

Yoj said...

I should have known better than to challenge The Count.

"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"

Yoj said...

@sugarbread maker
I hope you won't take offence, sugarbread, but that must be *ahem* quite the chest you've got there, if you can carry a chihuahua around.

sugarbread maker said...

yoj.. that's how i got the nickname "sugartits'!!!

sugarbread maker said...

i'm also laying down on my sofa lol!!!

StuffandNonsense said...

Oh my...lol. You two owe me a new keyboard thanks very much.

Yoj said...

@sugarbread maker
Please give your little stroller-walking dog(s) a kiss from me.
I really do love dogs. Most of what I write on CDaN is tongue-in-cheek.

sugarbread maker said...

you got it yoj.. good night luv

Yoj said...

@StuffandNonsense
I haven't yet taken the opportunity to say that yours is my favourite profile photo/avatar on CDaN. I *love* 'Twin Peaks'. IMO the best TV series ever.

StuffandNonsense said...

Aww..thanks Yoj..lol. I changed it from my own face to someone with a much better eyebrow and cherry twisting game than I myself possess ;-)

Basil said...

I still wanna know if Audrey is dead or not. Didn't she handcuff herself in a bank and there was a bomb about to go off?