Monday, March 05, 2018

Blind Item #15 - Oscars - Himmmm

There's a hidden-away service entrance door off to the side of the theater, and many attendees use it to sneak out and grab a smoke or take a break from the stuffy ceremony.  This (A- list mostly movie actor who is an Oscar winner/nominee) was out there when I walked out, smoking something that wasn't tobacco.  "Glaucoma's getting' worse" he said with a grin. While we were relaxing, discussing new ways to split the atom, this (A list mostly movie actress who is an Oscar winner/nominee) came outside with a total jerk in tow.  I didn't know his name, but he was not her date.  He was an aspiring horrible comic was my guess.  He's trying to make jokes, and I can see the actress getting uncomfortable and the blazing actor getting a real sarcastic look on his face.   

The horrible comic kept reaching to pull the actress' top open, and she'd smack his hand telling him to stop.  Seriously.  I seriously told him that was not nice, and he should knock it off.  He laughed and said she didn't mind, and she crossed her arms looking embarrassed.  The idiot then says: "Somebody should slip Kimmel a note to alert all the women that Harvey just arrived and he's holding auditions backstage on a couch".  Ha-fu@%king-ha.  The guy then pulls out a vial of white powder and does a bump right there on his hand, much to the actress' horror.  He says: "That Lupi-tiya Oblongo. Or Loop My Dongo, or whatever…she's fine.  If you could Face-filter her about 50 shades lighter to Halle Berry's color she'd be smoking hot! Fifty shades of Laid!".  I saw the chilled-out actor start to get upset now.  The actress stalks off down the walkway away from him.  "I think she's gorgeous like she is", I said.  Mr. Idiot says: "I'd still do her, don't get me wrong, give her some hot slow-jam lovin'."  Yeah, a regular Barry White romantic.

After more of this, the chilled-out actor motions for me to re-enter with him, turns to the actress and says: "You okay? You wanna go back with us?'.  She declined.  The actor turns to the idiot and says: "You're not funny man.  You're a total asswipe and the reason so many women have to put up with all this sh!t. That sh&t you're saying is as bad as the crap the writers wrote for this show tonight."  The idiot just stared with a stupid grin on his face.  Walking back inside, I asked who that jackass was.  "Can't remember his name, but he's a writer for tonight's show."  I laughed, thinking he was kidding.  He wasn't.  I don't think he'll have to worry about writing for next year's show.  When we returned, both the actor and I stopped in the foyer and messaged the top production officials of the show to express our disgust.

68 comments:

MontanaMarriott said...

Matt M for the Stoner?

FrenchGirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
one_eyed_bob said...

Guillermo?

Tricia13 said...

Jared Leto/Emma Stone maybe

Brayson87 said...

Good work reporting the jerk, no more of that wink and grin crap from unfunny people around the guys.

Tricia13 said...

Actually-Woody Harrelson

FrenchGirl said...

Emma Stone for sure

Sara, Making It Work said...

Emma Stone for the actress. She's the only one I can think of who wore a top. Everyone else was wearing a dress.

IDoTheRobot said...

Emma Stone for the gf. Dave McCary for the boyfriend?

Newbomb said...

Woody was my first thought.

Moose said...

Woody here as well. McC wouldn't bother reaching out to the production exec, but I think Harrelson would.

Sal Salington said...

IMDB only lists 3 writers for the show, but there's always way more than that. If you have the closing credits recorded, there should be a list in there.

Brayson87 said...

They need more than 3 writers to write that sh!t, wow.

durhay said...

Could have been worse - he could have been a prop comic

LooLooEasy said...

McBongo, Emma Stone

Ernie McCracken said...

I think the actress would have been justified breaking the writer's nose (and would have gained killer street cred).

Nadine D said...

Willem defoe for the actor

Katie S. said...

This sounds like a fake story written by a guy who wants to look like he's a low-key hero. Emma Stone is an avid, outspoken feminist and she definitely wouldn't be sheepish about telling some turd off. She doesn't need a ~random~ guy to do it for her. And the bad guy in this story sounds like a caricature that a clueless guy would make up. These aren't the types of things women have to deal with on a regular basis. Do better.

Sd Auntie said...

Whoever it is should NEVER work again. Horrible!!

Lurky McLurkster said...

Hopefully not Woody since he was there with his daughter. I can picture Donald Sutherland out there smoking and "getting a real sarcastic look on his face". Depends how you count honorary awards

Spider Rico said...

Maybe The Oscars and shows like SNL should stop hiring young privileged frat boys from Yale Or Harvard with zero life experience, and start hiring people from the streets like Pryor and Carlin - you know - people who've experienced real pain. Kudos to whoever himmm is in this blnd, and the other chill actor.

one_eyed_bob said...

@karie s: search twitter for #metoo you may be surprised what women have to put up with

Natasha21 said...

Woody for the "chilled" actor. What I don`t get about him insisting he`s not smoking POT anymore. It`s Legal now, it`s not worse than Alcohol o, Do whatever you want man. I don`t mind if my kids knew I smoke POT. I realy don`t. They know I drink- who cares?

Truthseeker said...

I have doubts about it, but quite sure that Woody has been vocal lately that he has stopped pot at least 2 years ago. Of course he did say he may one day do it again, I would go with Matthew.

Geeljire said...

This sounds like a botfarm paid post written by someone in substantial college debt.

Sight Sound said...

Don't you love how Hollywood put the fault of it's racist, sexist, abuser profile on the American people? Hard working Joes and Janes who know that we have never lived in a more inclusive time. We choice do we have? We grow up, go to school, and work side by side with all colors. Meanwhile the real filth is coming from those who are condemning America. Way to go! Yay Hollywood.

I mean they stood up there and never ceased preaching how wonderful it was to "actually be together". Hey, hypocrites, if you actually did honest work down here, you'd know we already have been working side by side.

And the joke about how whites are freaking out that the Oscars is too black. What if, now bear with me, WHAT IF WHITE PEOPLE HADN'T EVEN HAD THE THOUGHT!?!

Seriously. What if only you psychos are the only ones actually thinking about race? Or have to since your stage is very filthy to work on?

It was all a deflection game. Deflection. Blame whites for Hollywood's racist sexist ways. Blame whoever is the president on their own behavior. Deflection, right?

tetsujin said...

If we accept this as true, it's Rockwell and Emma. Matthew should be solid A now right?

Geeljire said...

What happens if you blame the people who have been coordinating these antics for 5,778 years?
Remember Al Jolson? What was his deal? "No, that was just his way of showing black people he loved them."
This is an no-no convo
But not for much longer

Sight Sound said...

I agree with Katie S.

David Howes said...

So, if they are reading these blinds today, Woody Harrelson & Mira Sorvino know who Hmmmm is?

Cool!

=)

(I like Hmmmm. ((All four of them)) Their writing makes me think the're people worth knowing.)

Maude Labowski said...

+1

gadfly said...

Agree with @tetsujin - Rockwell and Stone. Sam Rockwell won early in the evening, so he could afford to "chill." Also, one of the Himmmms seems to be pretty familiar with Rockwell and Ms. Bibb according to the Kindness to the stylist blind.

Cail Corishev said...

@Sight Sound, yes, there's something perfect about the fact that you can hear more racist insults at a Hollywood after-party than I've ever heard at a crappy pool hall in a one-horse town in fly-over country.

Joshua said...

Worst fake blind I've read on this site. That's saying a lot.

Macphisto said...

I don't know who the participants are, but I absolutely believe this happened and that someone would be dimwitted enough to behave like that despite the whole #metoo shtick. What Hollywood doesn't understand is that we see right through them. What is an outlier in the rest of the US is normal behavior in Hollywood. I go to a lot of events, and I've never been hanging out at a formal event and hanging out while one person openly smokes pot and another does bumps of coke (I assume they happen in private.) We can tolerate the hypocrisy if the product was better. But it's not.

Raging Bunnies said...

This blind explains soooooo much.

DingusMcGee said...

according to screenshot on twitter, writers of last night's show were:

Jimmy Kimmel
Molly McNearney
Danny Ricker
Gary Greenberg
Megan Anram
Tony Barbieri
Jonathan Bines
Joelle Boucai
Gonzalo Cordova
Devin Field
Josh Halloway
Sal Iacono
Eric Immerman
Jesse Joyce
Bess Kalb
Joe Strazzullo

Brayson87 said...

There's always a slightly hidden area at formal events where people sneak off to smoke, and sometimes people sneak smoking something else, it's not a crisis. And the actress and the Hmmmm were surprised at the jerk openly doing a bump. Let's not pretend like all of America is just wholesome barbecues and lawn parties.

Randy said...

I KNOW I saw Adam Carolla's name on that writers' list - his was the only one I could pick out as it went by.

Joshua said...

@Randy, yeah, Carolla was a writer. He talked about it on his podcast. Basically if Jimmy's hosting, Adam will be riding the coattails.

Amartel said...

So one of the scriptwriters for Kimmel is a huge racist. Probably more since this guy seems none too subtle or concerned about how he comes off in reality. Says so much about the phonies in this industry.

AKA said...

This sounds like adam carolla and what a surprise another racist trump supporter.

Sadie said...

Sounds like McConaughey. He was absent for a long period, easy to see as he was sitting front row. I figured he was out smoking joints with Woody. McConaughey's wife is a mixed race Brazilian so he'd be sensitive to somebody making racist comments.

Joshua said...

Carolla isn't a Trump supporter. And even if he's a C-lister, I doubt he wouldn't be recognized by Himmmm.

Jimmy said...

The writer is either Jonathan Bines, Eric Immerman, or Joe Strazzullo.

I can't find anything about Eric Immerman online. I think Jonathan Bines is divorced and he seems the most likely culprit. If it was Emma Stone, Bines looks like the most dateable.

Becki said...

Since the chilled out actor mentioned glaucoma, I assumed he was older than Woody or MM.

Sadie said...

It's MM because he was a presenter so he went to the rehearsals and would know who the writers were. They also gave him a crappy speech to read when he presented. He is also always described as 'chilled'.

libby said...

I think the quote reads in Woody's voice, totally. Plus, Woody is known for being opinionated and totally willing to tell someone off. Also, does't it sound just like Woody to insult the writing pretending he didn't know the guy was one of the writers?

libby said...

That's a good point, Sadie. That MM knew the writers.

Unknown said...

Emma Stone brought her brother as her date last night, it seems.

Her brother does stunt work, isn't a comic or writer. I'm guessing it wasn't Emma.

bookjacket said...

The writers of Jimmy's stuff are mostly Jimmy's regular writers. His head writer is his very funny wife, Molly McNeary. Bess Kalb is in there, and they appear to have used Megan Anram from The Good Place. Major feminist voices. My guess is that there are a bunch of hacks writing the lame jokes for the presenters and this guy is one of these. Can't see him as part of the Kimmel show team.

Mischief Girl said...

I'm going in a completely different route. "Glaucoma is getting worse." If that's real, then I'll guess Christopher Walken. He's star enough that he could take a jerk down a peg or two and not care. The actress and the jerk, I have no idea, but I'd love the actor to be Walken. (I didn't watch the Oscars, so I don't know if he was in the audience or not. I know he was at after parties.)

Ouiser B. said...

I took the "Glaucoma is getting worse" as a weed joke.

lucy said...

"hot slow-jam lovin" lmao that is so fxcking stupid! are you sure he wasn't talking to the chick from logistics?

T R said...

-1 No way

Sekrit said...

You and your glaucoma-suffering friend did a good thing, Himmmm, so great to hear

Jennacheryl said...

I agree with the "glaucoma getting worse" as a joke.
Katie S and Sight Sound.... everyone likes to be defended every once in awhile, no matter how independent you are. Doesn't matter make or female, we all want that justification that we are correct when someone is being a total jerk. I hear comments like that frequently from people who do not realize how bigoted,chauvinistic or even the "r" word they sound when trying to act like a big shot. Bitterly I told a guy once at work how offensive his shirt was, a nice t shirt, he had obviously spent money on it with a picture of a naked woman on it in a sexual position. Kid told me I was jealous or some such nonsense. My reply was well spoken and put him in his place. No profanity or anything. Several hours later he came up to me, apologized and had changed clothes. I wish we lived in a society that was utopia and I truly hope that neither of you ever have to deal with untoward incidents or comments. I am glad you have not up to this point either.
Woody looked irked when he was on stage so I bet that the interaction had happened.
I would figure out who the youngest writers are for the show and it was one of them. Undying tops is something kids and 20 somethings do who are young souls.

Greta Garbo said...

"This sounds like a fake story written by a guy who wants to look like he's a low-key hero. .... And the bad guy in this story sounds like a caricature that a clueless guy would make up. These aren't the types of things women have to deal with on a regular basis. Do better."

I respectfully disagree. L.A. is filled with these "caricatures." They try too hard, they are painfully unfunny, and basically total douches.

Actually, if there's anywhere in America free of a personality like this, please let me know. I want to move there.

Sd Auntie said...

+2 spider rico

Kno Won Uno said...

I think it’s to make up for blowing air out of his nostrils & saying nothing the LAST time he wrote this blind.
The “cotton candy pussy” blind.
Must sound great if you’re 12.
Is this where everyone in the subway car applauds?

We’re not free of these types on CDsN, as you know.

MissDe said...

Whoever the girl is why was she with this douche

ihsahn77 said...

@MissDe the blind says he was not her date.

Weekittylass said...

She should have slapped the stupid out of him so hard her hand was imprinted on his face for a week.

Kerry said...

I think Devin Field fits.

Itttt said...

"Actress' top" doesn't necessarily mean she had a separate top on, it could also mean he was trying to pull open the top of her dress. Doesn't necessarily have to be Emma Stone and I seriously doubt she would have put up with that shit particularly from a nobody "comic writer" for the show.

gauloise said...

Even if the woman said she was fine, you shouldnt have left her out there alone in an alley with some guy who was trying to undo her top.

Itttt said...

Agreed 100%, gauloise. And +1000000000000000 Great Garbo, LA is indeed chock full of these shitheels. Story could very well be fake, but that's because I can't imagine between the 3 of them that this assclown didn't get slapped into next week/knocked the fuck out for his antics.

Mj Bobbie said...

"There's a hidden-away service entrance door off to the side of the theater, and many attendees use it to sneak out and grab a smoke or take a break from the stuffy ceremony."

So is this suggesting that Himmmm is a smoker? Otherwise why would he/she be back in this area?

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