Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Blind Item #8 - Kindness

I am just going to leave this as it came in, because it is more powerful that way.


It was the late 90s in New York City

I was a country kid in my very early 20s and hungry for adventure. I got a job in an underground club/bar with a reputation for great music. I played guitar and loved the parties, clubbing and gigs that the big city offered. I was in way over my head though and not streetwise.

The long and short of it is that I was at the club one night ( end of shift) where a band hailed as possibly the next big thing were playing.  I guess a lot of people agreed because there were some famous musicians there that I recognized including a rock star who was one of the biggest stars on earth at the time. And a classic rocker who had been semi retired for many years but was beginning to get back in the game again. No one approached people like that when they were around, they were mainly left alone to enjoy themselves. But I had been serving them and I was kind of starstruck in this case though just because of the sheer scale of the fame. I drunkenly approached and gushed at them for a while. They were quiet but polite. I still felt like I’d embarrassed myself.

So that was also the night I got quite intoxicated and ended up in the car park near closing time getting violently sexually assaulted and beaten up. They never caught the guy who did it. I wouldn’t have been able to ID him if they had.

I was found by a co-worker and taken inside to wait for the ambulance while I bled on the sofa in an office room. The staff were talking and the band must have said something because in walked the two celebrities I’d approached earlier and sat with me and my friend while I waited in pain and shock. The woman held my hand and the other one was in tears. They talked me through what I could expect at the hospital. that the police would be there and that they'd probably want to do a rape kit etc.

I discovered later that the guy had payed for my treatment. I had been so scared of the bill. I cant tell you what a relief that was.  They checked up on me a few days later to make sure I was ok and offered help if I needed it.

So when I see things on here implying the dude is predator I find it kind of hard to believe. 

76 comments:

Brayson87 said...

Yeah you don't see these testimonies on the NYC tourist sites.

Hope we get a reveal, these folks were good peoples.

Chris P said...

But the band guy could've been the perp if she couldn't recognize him. Esp if he does have a history of this. Or I'll just apologize for this observation and say it was nice

rosie riveter said...

Really good people sometimes do bad things.
Really bad people sometimes do good things.
that's all I know

Ophelia said...

Wow I am so so sorry you went through this & I'm glad you had support afterwards <3
Hope we get a reveal too so the name doesn't get slandered anymore as the writer is implying, they sound like a hero.

Tricia13 said...

Wow.
Very sorry for your ordeal. It takes great courage to have survived it and to tell the story:)

I think maybe the female is Chrissy Hynde(maybe Patty Smyth)/ the dude Gavin Rossdale maybe...
Band could be many-Too early for Coldplay so maybe Stereophonic?

totaji said...

This is too vague. I’m guess the Strokes as the main band. And it wouldn’t be NY without Lou Reed but he was still putting out albums not making a comeback. That was 89 so to speak. Biggest star ever could be Bowie or Springsteen. And what the hell let’s throw Iggy in there and you have the heavy weights of rock. Maybe Jagger as well.

parissucksliterally said...

What a horrible experience. I am so sorry you went through that.

:(

joshg g said...

It would be helpful to know which was the woman and which was the man.

Itttt said...

"I discovered later that the guy had payed for my treatment. I had been so scared of the bill. I cant tell you what a relief that was. They checked up on me a few days later to make sure I was ok and offered help if I needed it.

So when I see things on here implying the dude is predator I find it kind of hard to believe."

Unless of course he was the one that violently sexually assaulted and beat you up, then felt sorry/guilty about it so paid the tab for the damaged goods. BTW, WHICH guy paid for the treatment? The rockstar who was one of the biggest stars on earth at the time, the classic rocker who had been semi retired for many years but was beginning to get back in the game again? Or the lead/a member of the band that was the next big thing?

And finally, not to victim blame but you were working as a bartender/server and got shitfaced on the job? What the fuck was this place, Coyote Ugly? Piper Peraboo is that you?

joshg g said...

Female classic rock stars, Ann or Nancy Wilson, Patty Smith, Patyi Smythe, Pat Benatar, Chrisie Hynde

timebob said...

Just because he was nice to you doesn't mean he was nice to everybody. In your case (assuming this isn't a rape/celebrity rescue fantasy) Sorry I only say that due to the fan fiction I have read online and this sounds similar.

Taking the position this is real, a celebrity in front of others making grand gestures fits the mold of a predator who can rape or hurt someone with the no witnesses part. So people in your position will defend him. "Since he was nice to you".

Marianne Elba said...

They said end of shift.

Sara, Making It Work said...

The writer states that she didn't approach the rock stars until the end of her shift. She was raped around closing time, who knows how much later that was.

Marianne Elba said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ancoranonhocapito said...

>be a predator rockstar
>assault waitress who was nice to you
>later pretend to care for her and wait for the ambulance with her
the perfect crime

Stevie Nixed said...

Wow, that's really empathic. No matter how drunk/sober someone is: they are the victim.

Sara, Making It Work said...

I think the classic rocker making a comeback is Carlos Santana. His Supernatural album came out in 1999.

So that means the huge at the time star is female. Who was real big in 98-99? May or may not have been hanging out with Santana.

Itttt said...

Ahhh, so presumably he/she got his/her drank on at their employer, said underground club/bar, AFTER his/her shift was over. The closing time comment reminded me of that annoying, massively overplayed song.

Closing time
Time for you to go out, drunken prey every-wheeeeeere.
Closing time
Turn the lights up over every boy a rapin' a girl.
Closing time
One last call for sex assault so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time
You don't have to go home but you can't rape here.
I know who I want to rape me home.
I know who I want to rape me home.
I know who I want to rape me home.
Rape me home
Closing time
Time for you to go in the backdoor & other places your victim can't say no.
Closing time
This room won't be open 'til your rapist n his buddies come.
So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits
I hope you have found a
"Friend".
Closing time
Every new rapist comes in some other victim's rear end.
Yeah, I know who I want to rape me home.
I know…

Marianne Elba said...

Shirley Manson?

Marianne Elba said...

I'd be very surprised if Santana was a predator. He was abused himself for years.

OB said...

This doesn't sound like it was written by a female

Clem Fandango said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jon said...

Melissa Etheridge and Don Henley. The Eagles were on their reunion tour and Melissa was opening for them while her Yes I Am album was exploding in the mid 90's.

Melvin The Reanimated said...

So one female star, one male. The man at least has had rumors if not accusations of sexual impropriety. At least on CDAN.

One was a semi-has been (by choice or by force, who knows) who was at the crest of a comeback.

One was one of the biggest stars of the late '90s.

That's what I got.

I could say...if you stretch the definition of "rocker", the comeback one could be Cher, maybe, possibly? Sickness knocked her out of the music scene for a good portion of the '90s, reducing her to infomercials, but she had the Believe album come out and blow up huge in 1998.

gauloise said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melvin The Reanimated said...

Another thought:

Marilyn Manson was one of the biggest rock stars of the late '90s, and has had several blinds on CDAN implicating him in predatory behavior. Maybe he was the dude in this equation?

gauloise said...

what underground bar in nyc has a parking lot? who drives a car in NYC?

gauloise said...

neil young for the semi retired classic rocker getting back in the game.

Viking Song said...

Yeah, I thought Manson too. He's got a lolita fetish. Hence the "girl lover" tattoo on his wrist..

gauloise said...

Cheryl Crowe for one of the biggest rock stars of the time

LooksLikeCRicci said...

Not a bad guess, Jon.

I was thinking someone like Chrissy Hynde or Nancy Wilson for the female. I know Heart had a decent comeback in the mid-late 1990's. However, Melissa Etherage does seem to fit better.

If she opened for Don Henley and the Eagles, it really does make a ton of sense....


And seriously, guys. She got drunk. She didn't deserve to be raped and assaulted. That's Basic Humanity 101. Let's not blame the victim here.

Melvin The Reanimated said...

I definitely think the band being seen was The Strokes. They began in '98, are from Manhattan, broke big in '01 and were considered to be the saviors of rock at the time

Melvin The Reanimated said...

The club is likely the Luna Lounge, I think.

Marianne Elba said...

The band could be Interpol then. They started there.

orangesoda said...

Wow, the amount of people assuming the male rocker was the perp because he helped her out is pretty shocking. These kind of wild, out-of-nowhere accusations are just as bad as victim blaming.
Can't tell who this is though, this is too vague. Sorry for everything you went through, reader.

Motörhead said...

Semi retired could be Debbie Harry, Maria came out 1999 and obviously has links to CBGB’s, Classic rocker could be Bowie but he dead so probably not as blind written as if still alive. Maybe Jimmy Page as is thought of as a good guy if you ignore the underage girls (different time?) and the kidnapping etc 😱
Band The White Stripes??

Itttt said...

No shit that the vic didn't deserve to be raped, whether female OR male, drunk or otherwise. BUT THAT SAID, bad things often follow those that make poor life choices. Country bumpkin moves to the big bad city, gets shitfaced without backup, ends up sexually assaulted and beaten up. "Friend" was there afterward but not prior/during. Hmmm now what if anything could have been done to decrease the odds of that rape happening...?

Spider Rico said...

Hmm ..lets see having grown up on the streets of NYC... Club could be...
The Tunnel
Limelight
CBGB
Coney Island High (mostly punk)
Knitting Factory
Palladium
Ritz (possible)
The Academy very possible - Smashing Pumpkins, Manson all through the 90's.
Bottom Line (maybe)
Heartbreak - (sometimes Music)

Not Luna or Mars. This sounds like something at The Terminal Bar though no music there. We had rules as kids on the streets in the 70's. Tagging Subway cars stay away from 14th st at 2am. Don't get stuck down in the Alphabet after 10pm... and most important... always,always, have a knife or a weapon...always.

jane3113 said...

Could the hand holding female who was a bug star in the late 90's be Gwen Stefani? Wasn't that around the time of No Doubt? The up and coming band could be Strokes, White Stripes, Coldplay something like that.

Jon said...

I like the Debbie Harry guess for the semi-retired classic rocker...the biggest rock star in late 90s...maybe Marilyn Manson, Rob Thomas, Hootie? That's harder, rock was pretty much dead in the 90s

Sharpie said...

Could this be Patti Smith and Michael Stipe?

Sharpie said...

According to Setlist FM, Coldplay didn't tour the US until the early 2000's and The White Stripes were playing mostly midwest still in 1999. Interpol played Bowery Ballroom 2x in 1999 and The Strokes played many NYC venues in 1999.

Newbomb said...

I lived in NYC at that time. Slash was a regular in the live music clubs in the village. Not sure he fits though.

Kno Won Uno said...

I wondered about the “car park” statement as well. No waitress in an underground NYC club has a car AND can afford to park it.
This has been true for decades.

JL said...

Think you have it. Sounds like there were two women and one guy though.

Cliff76 said...

When I worked in a bar we spent as much of the work day as we could slacking off, smoking in the loading area/carpark. We didn't have cars either.

Cliff76 said...

@Sharpie that was my first thought too. They were joined at the hip in the late 90s.

Sadie Slays said...

What American country kid calls it a "car park"?

Melvin The Reanimated said...

Based on all the comments...

Debbie Harry
Marilyn Manson
At an Interpol show

Harry waa semi-retired, Manson has been rumored to be a sexual predator on here and was big at the time and Interpol would be a babd in voth there wheelhouses.

Sharpie said...

Interpol opened for the band Mogwai in Feb 1999 at Bowery Ballroom and the band Ash in June 1999 at Bowery Ballroom.

Sharpie said...

Guessing this is The Strokes show at CBGB's Dec 12th, 1999 with Michael Stipe in town to film SNL on Dec 11 and Letterman on Dec 13 and Patti Smith off the road according to Setlist FM.

Designeremd said...

No one in New York City would ever call a parking lot/garage a "car park"!

Cliff76 said...

Unless they weren't from NY. I've heard "Car Park" in Boston... (Well I've heard "Caaaahhh Paaaahhkk" in Boston.)

Geeljire said...

If I were Michael Stipe
I'd legit Arkancide myself before the truth blows up in his bald pedo face

Melvin The Reanimated said...

So it looks like we have two possible combinations, I'm guessing?

Harry/Manson/Interpol

OR

Smith/Stioe/The Strokes

Melvin The Reanimated said...

Stipe*. Stupid phone.

Marianne Elba said...

Nothing to suggest it wasn't a boy.

InCatNeto said...

I don't have much to add on the classic rocker and biggest rockstar, but between lines like "over my head" and "closing time" I'm guessing the next big thing band was Semisonic. Could be more lyric/song clues in there that point at the others.

Guesser said...

He or she is described as a country kid, no country kid ever heard the term car park. Think the victim is male, Michael Stipe for the male rock star, not sure of the female, but Debbie Harry maybe. Maybe the story is true but changed his background for privacy. Also,a number of times I have heard of women ,sometimes men, who are left alone to walk home drunk,never to make it home alive. The writer never said they were the driver,they would be too drunk to drive, could have called a cab.

filmfanb said...

I dont mind the Manson guess but even if you read his book....you can tell the due was always into using and abusing woman. He was pretty open about the exploits him and Twiggy would get up to on tour.

Anyway, Sigur Ros show in NYC, Bowie and Moby were both in attendance. Sigur Ros second album was coming out and the hype was huge.

Only thing stopping me from this theory is Moby being considered a rock star.

More Cowbell said...

CBGB's wasn't an "underground" club, was it? I worked there in the early 90's. I thought an "underground" club was something more off the radar.

Charity Channing said...

A sexual predator is often a 'great guy' in other areas of life. It's why they get away with it.

HeatherBee said...

Jesus, ittt- for someone who doesn’t want to blame the victim, it sure sounds like you’re doing a lot of it. Hmmm, perhaps if you had ridden in on your high horse to show the victim the error of their ways,that might have decreased the odds of the rape happening. But then again, maybe not. Sanctimonious much??

arvilc said...

Maynard James Keenan

Mango said...

Unless of course he was the one that violently sexually assaulted and beat you up, then felt sorry/guilty about it so paid the tab for the damaged goods.


@ltttt - even if Op was shitfaced s/he could still recognize, say, Mick Jagger attacking her. She didn’t say she was roofied.

trixie comments said...

You can be a "country kid" from the U.K. and speak of car parks. The author could be "bridge & tunnel" - we don't know she lived in the city (rarely in the 90s did you hear of a rape kit for men), just that she worked there. Bowie, yes. Lou Reed, yes. Christie Hynde was never really partially retired. Patti Smith was - but she wasn't a commercial star. Grace Slick? Either of the Wilson sisters. Patty Smythe never really came back. Cyndi Lauper fits - she had those huge hits, then reinvented herself several times.

Sd Auntie said...

Itt. hates all people and it shows quite frequently. Kind of like that St Barbara virgin serial killer.

AppleThief4Elliot said...

How about Santana with Lauryn Hill, who sang on the Supernatural album?

Sharpie said...

There were t-shirts made up for CBGB's with the slogan "Home of Underground Rock" on them.

Patti Smith had been inactive from 1986-1997 until the release of her comeback album Peace and Noise, which Michael Stipe sings backing vocals on.

Re: Sigur Ros, it doesn't look like they played the US much if at all in the '90s.

Bill Beard said...

I was immediately suspicious of the "nice guy" aswell,
I agree with the Neil Young guess,
Also agree that the victim could be male by the blind.

Bill Beard said...

Or Maybe Ozzy Osbourne and Maryln Manson.

Sagan said...

No one is mentioning that the writer said "they talked me through what I could expect at the hospital, that the police would be there and they would probably want to do a rape kit, etc."

To me, that sounds like one/both of the people waiting with the writer has either been raped/sodomized or otherwise been around during evidence gathering after such a crime.

Marianne Elba said...

Or worked for RAINN... Kind of wondering about Tori Amos now.

Bokolis said...

@ Spider Rico, as I stopped reading after that.

You've left off Wetlands and the walking-distance Don Hill's. Wetlands fits the bill and, in those days, there was an unattended (outside) parking lot nearby. I'd take a shot that this was the venue. CBGB seems more likely, but I don't recall any parking lots/garages in the area- certainly no lots.

~~~~~

I get the sense that the victim is male (sorry dude), wasn't in the 'car park' to retrieve a vehicle, wasn't carrying cash (tips) or robbed. Being every bit the cynic that the lot of you are, I immediately liked the celebrity for this, but the sexual violence and 'beaten up' doesn't happen without help, even if the victim was 'quite intoxicated.'

It falls apart because, if the celebrity was Stipe and the celebrity was the perp, I could not see a female companion (of his) depraved enough to play along, other than Courtney Love. She doesn't fit the description, and Stipe couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it.

I'll have to break it to my pet cynic that the perp was just some random scumbag.

Marianne Elba said...

Yes I must say the idea of late 90s Michael Stipe beating someone up is pretty laughable. I met him once, he had the physical prowess of an eyelash caught on the wind.

Janiek13 said...

For the female, could it be Stevie Nicks? I met her once and she was so very nice.

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