Friday, October 12, 2018

Blind Item #8 - The Interview - A Dancing Boy Blind

Here's one to lighten the mood in advance of the next Dancing Boys of Hollywood blind items:

We interrupt "The Dancing Boys of Hollywood" blind item series to bring you a very special interview. It took place on a recent, secret trip to Los Angeles, and is of a former child actress - the same one recently "interviewed" by a foreign firm.

Unlike theirs, you may just get to hear the full interview, which was transcribed and recorded (should one or the other get into the wrong hands). You see: I was recently contacted by a producer for this one podcasting network about developing a dancing boy series. (This is the network founded by the former longtime producer of a certain longstanding national radio program - the one devoted to storytelling.)

Here's an excerpt:

DB: I'm here today at Felix Trattoria for a discussion, over lunch with (this one actress).

**: Everyone, it's the McDonalds on La Cienega.

DB: It's the NICE McDonalds on La Cienega.

**: We're eating freaking happy meals people.

DB: I didn't have the budget for adult food. Also, I'm on a diet.

**: Is that why you ate all your McNuggets and then helped yourself to half of mine?

DB: I know, but, McNuggets.

**: Can we please just get this over with?

DB: Okay, since we're on the subject of food, do you remember what they served you on the set of that one extremely big movie in the 80s?

**: I don't know, the usual - sandwiches, sushi. I think there was Chinese once.

DB: So, table scraps, basically.

**: Wait, what are you doing?

DB: Interviewing you?

**: That isn't what I said.

DB: Maybe not exactly.

**: Maybe not at all.

DB: Okay, but this is way better. It's all like: they treated you like trained animals. Here kids, have some table scraps. Then the men watched as you ate them off the floor.

** (MAD!): Give me that crayon.

(Struggle for crayon ensues. A woman interrupts.)

Woman: Are you (this one actress)?

**: I am.

Woman: Could I trouble you for an autograph. My daughter is a big fan.

**: Of course. What's her name?

Woman: Hailey.

**: That's a nice name.

DB: Do you want mine too?

Woman: Who the hell are you?

DB: I'm the dancing boy.

Woman: Never heard of him.

(Thanks exchanged, woman walks off. ** goes back to glaring at me.)

DB: So what did the space alien like to eat?

**: The space alien was a puppet dancing boy.

DB: Did you ever get to meet the real space alien it was based on?

**: This interview is so over.

DB: Can I get a ride to the bus station?

** (without looking back): No.

40 comments:

Mah said...

I was so hungry at work, having skipped breakfast, that I ate my lunch at 10, and now I'm screwed the rest of the day!

Herbert Arnold said...

@Mah, just drink water to carry you thru the day until dinnertime.

Ophelia said...

I've had more productive conversations with my cat.

LooksLikeCRicci said...

The child actress is Drew Barrymore.

Sara, Making It Work said...

This really did make me laugh today, thank you!

sandybrook said...

I told you troll one day I'd get here earlier than you expect. So here's the topic of the DB waste of time
You're hungry, you don't feel like cooking so you go out to eat instead. What type of food\genre do you go out for?

Me: Italian, Mexican, Japanese because I really enjoy bento box lunches, bar food for the beers in the evening, not really the food

Sara, Making It Work said...

But... I thought today's food topic was Happy Meals!

Okay Ppl: Bbq, ranch, sweet & sour, or none of the above?

LooksLikeCRicci said...

Producer: Ira Glass
Long Running Show: This American Life on NPR?
Podcasting Network: Serial?

LooksLikeCRicci said...

Movie was obviously E.T.

Queen of Pith said...

sandybrook - I agree with your food choices. I don't know what it is about a Bento Box, but I love it! I usually go for a teriyaki as opposed to anything fried - except tempura veggies. I mean, if I need to eat my veggies, having them fried is the way to go.

Kamikaze Butterfly said...

I don't even read the dancing boy items. They are long, confusing and just tedious. Just thought I'd comment before moving past.

rosie riveter said...

Jesus take the wheel.
I TRY TO defend you, DB.
I just audibly groaned at work, knowing the shit u gonna get for this silliness.

I took a shot of fireball for breakfast

sandybrook said...

Bento Box is just sooooo good, basically a three course meal for about $10. For those who have no idea what a bento box lunch is you get a cup of soup, a salad and a box of food sectioned off into a meat or fish, a pile of rice, dumplings, and a Japanese roll. Drinks and desserts are separate. Very worth the $10.

sandybrook said...

Jesus Rosie even I can't do that until afternoons ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

LA Native said...

Hey, DB brought up food soo...I'm not eating right now but I am trimming back my 'taking over the world and my neighbors side of the fence' dragonfruit plant. Hey, dragonfruit is tasty and way too pricey, $5/ea at Publix.
Gonna sell them.

OriginalKK said...

Quota filling blind? Yawn

Simon said...

I had the best lunch of baked chicken, cubed and throw in diced celery, crushed pecans, grapes with some avocado oil mayo.

sandybrook said...

So a chicken salad then, sounds like a very balanced meal Simon

TellMeLies said...

Going out to eat and not knowing the nutritional information (sodium, fat) of what I'm eating makes me REALLY anxious, so we rarely go out. I think it saddens my SO because he loves to eat at restaurants. For the anxiety that I get for a day or two, its just not worth it!

If I need to rush, I normally grab a can of tuna and throw it into something I have frozen like cauliflower rice or some GF pasta.

Tricia13 said...

๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ”ฅ
❤️

Shaddup Mimsey said...

I had leftover tacos and risotto and I just finished a good humor strawberry shortcake ice cream bar.

Simon said...

@sandy, yea, chicken salad haha. Could have just said that.

Cary Gaul said...

I like turtles.

plot said...

Middle Eastern, every time. No cheap bento boxes around here :( or that would be first or second on the list.

Tuesdi said...

Half the time it is just pizza from the general store. Hey I live in the boonies!

orangesoda said...

Lunch was all about filling up rather than taste for me today unfortunately since I have a looong project to finish this afternoon. Ramen and tuna with enough hot sauce to burn a hole in my stomach lining. We fancy.

Viking Song said...

Chinese and Sushi are table scraps? Or was DB implying that the kids were given leftovers once the adults had eaten?

I too think the actress being interviewed is Drew Barrymore.

pixiegothy said...

Well done @lookslikecricci! ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐ŸŽˆ

Brayson87 said...

I prefer brick oven pizzas, I don't care if they're scorched on the bottom. Seems like the main ingredient in most pizzas nowadays is grease. I don't if I should eat it or donate it for biodiesel.

Sal T said...

I’ve never heard of a bento box before, but now I want one!
Feta and sun dried tomato salad for lunch today.
Lol hi dancing boy, I get the feeling you’re trolling our DB food discussions with this blind! I like that! Reminds me of when Insiderher slapped us with her shrimp salad ;)

I get my crack my smack my bitch right here said...

Bacon CB w/ candied jalapeรฑos, hand cut fries, 8% IPA, al fresco on the first fall-ish day here- fantastic lunch.

Freckles said...

I was going to have tuna but didn't have any mayo. Bummer

plot said...

Always have backup mayo, no matter what.

VDOVault said...

Lunch here was a cheeseburger sub with Provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, grilled onions & pickles, French fries & a regular Coke for lunch (so much there is leftover sub for dinner).

sandybrook said...

+1 VDO
+1 Sal you'll love it

sandybrook said...

Freckles when I don't have mayo for a tuna sammitch, I make a huge salad with almost every veggie I have, empty the drained can on top of it and pour Asian sesame dressing or something like it on top and give iit a goood mix--delicious!

Sabre said...

Tater tots with pickles & bacon on top covered with a cheese sauce, then an aioli. Surprisingly I'm not the size of a family car.

Also the DB blinds are painful. Could we just not with them from now on? Just make something up about a reality star or something. Anything is better than these.

Jack's Girl said...

I couldn’t agree more. ๐Ÿ‘

Paul Saint John said...

So, E.T. was molested during the shooting? Is that why he wanted to phone home all the time? (Applogids if this sounds like a pedo joke. It's not. It's an honest question. I know ET was both a puppet and a child during some scenes).
When Will Dancing Boy stop fucking with us? Tell it to us as straight as a gay can.

Squirrelmistress said...

chicken caesar salad from trader joes

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