tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post2585579362598329635..comments2024-03-20T02:18:58.950-07:00Comments on Crazy Days and Nights: Your Turnent lawyerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08658046190988387228noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-85602272243190044512009-06-15T14:01:43.962-07:002009-06-15T14:01:43.962-07:00Completely wasted at the local bar- it's closi...Completely wasted at the local bar- it's closing time and the guy my friend introduced me to at the beginning of the night turns and says: "Wanna go play video games?" I said yes, even though the only game I knew how to play was Mario Cart. We dated for 7 years and have now been married for 4. He says that was the moment he fell in love with me.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06525521551306181892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-83061697732835565422009-06-15T10:44:52.415-07:002009-06-15T10:44:52.415-07:00The worst pickup line used on me was when I was in...The worst pickup line used on me was when I was in high school and this guy came up to me at a basketball game and asked me if I smoked pot - then he asked for my number.MsCrankyPantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15616387007171797760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-87627353076204732782009-06-14T21:59:35.846-07:002009-06-14T21:59:35.846-07:00Two from way back:
Kingston, Jamacia airport some...Two from way back:<br /><br />Kingston, Jamacia airport sometime in the '70s waiting for a very delayed flight. I'm listening to good tunes (Rick James' Street Scenes album?) on some early walkman and for some reason have a splitter so that two sets of headphones can listen at the same time. Move over next to her and hold out the second set of headphones, no words. We listened to the whole album. Later on the plane I saw her looking at me from up by the lavatory but the guy on the aisle next to me was soundly asleep and I couldn't get out of my seat.<br /><br />College dorm party, turn to her and ask "do you want to go back to my room and do some blow and have sex?" Answer: I don't do blow.hikerheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16395402520647256679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-33850317160191461912009-06-14T00:31:14.259-07:002009-06-14T00:31:14.259-07:00@ Jerry, if you saw my footwear, you'd realize...@ Jerry, if you saw my footwear, you'd realize guys notice. The male friends I had gone to lunch with were afraid of getting arrested and having to go to John school. Yes, my shoes are that good.<br /><br />But I forgot about my favourite. A guy I went to high school with. He's the guy who taught me to not trust guys. Then he met my cousin. For years afterwards I'd see him and he was in lust with her. Thing is, although he met her dozens of times, he never remembered and would always introduce himself as if it was their first meeting. Funny he never won her heart.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-56743628976663693052009-06-13T20:35:28.407-07:002009-06-13T20:35:28.407-07:00Back when I was pretty (before all of the old and ...Back when I was pretty (before all of the old and fat set in), I would get hit on pretty regularly at my job. Most were forgettable, but some were pretty funny.<br /><br />Once, a coworker (a guy fresh out of the Navy) hit on me by writing me a poem and giving it to me after work. The situation was so awkward (and the poem was so cheesy) that I laughed at him. I wasn't intending to hurt his feelings, but it had that effect. My friends started calling him "Torpedo Ego" after that. Poor guy.<br /><br />A guy who worked as a sales rep for a cigarette company wooed me with free merchandise from his company. I wasn't a smoker.<br /> <br />Another guy (a soda delivery person) tried to get me to go out with him by bragging about his motorcycle, boat, and jet ski (I found out later he bought those things after pilfering money from the soda machines he serviced).<br /><br />I met one guy (my ex from the Netherlands) after he joined my MSN group (a glorified place to keep my pictures online). He found it after we had both reported the same glitch in our groups on a messageboard in a group which offered tech support for MSN groups. I ended up in a relationship with him for a few years.<br /><br />The guy I most regret turning down was a very sweet man I met at the Metra station in Naperville. We had a long wait for the train, and ended up finding a lot of similarities with his upbringing in rural India with mine in rural Illinois.<br /><br />He came into my work a few days later and invited me on a date. He was so smart, sweet and funny, I didn't have the heart to tell him I was already involved. I went on two dates with him before telling him he couldn't call me any more.<br /><br />I can't remember the specific thing that attracted me to my husband. We had known each other a few years because we were both part of a group of regulars in a file-sharing IRC chat room.<br /><br />He was going through a rough period in his life, and I suggested he come visit to get his mind off of things. With the exception of three weeks on two separate occasions, he's been with me ever since.KellyLynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07060991615297952464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-91384201486282672572009-06-13T20:27:57.448-07:002009-06-13T20:27:57.448-07:00I'm going to be making $300,000 a year startin...I'm going to be making $300,000 a year starting next year.<br /><br />Seriously, he went straight to business.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14976647924575698824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-81681657368752647062009-06-13T17:46:40.562-07:002009-06-13T17:46:40.562-07:00This is more of me story lol. A friend and I were ...This is more of me story lol. A friend and I were at her house getting ready to go to her ex's bands show, our original ride had bailed so we scrambled to find another. I was upstairs finishing up my make up while she had gone down to greet our nice driver. Finished I had come downstairs, I didn't know what to say to him after I said and waved hello so we just stood there quiet. We were left alone in the front living room while my friend went back upstairs to look for her keys. This guy was just standing there and it was awkward as fuck, I tried breaking the ice but he seemed like such a douche so I didn't bother after that.<br /><br />Anyway, we got to the bar and he being older provided us underagers some beer, 4 hours later and 2 40's later (yes 40's) we were hanging out in the parking lot, he had wriggled away from the group to pee, I noticed about 5 seconds later and for some reason I thought I would get his number. <br /><br />...I walked up to him from behind and asked for his number. Apparently I had scared him because he jumped. I got his number anyway, and in 15 days it'll be our 2 month ann. lolGenesishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08553511233630833591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-17140272337850997792009-06-13T14:16:47.052-07:002009-06-13T14:16:47.052-07:00Group of us in a bar one night. We're all danc...Group of us in a bar one night. We're all dancing. My friend suddenly stops, stares wide-eyed then becomes hysterical with laughter. Some guy did this to her (it's an exercise, so play along):<br /><br />take both index fingers and run them through your hair around your ears then along your jaw line. Finish with The Isaac (two thumbs up with index fingers pointing). Do this WHILE licking your upper lip.<br /><br />Every time we went to that bar afterwards, it became part of our dancing.<br /><br />In another bar, same group of people. Guy comes up to me and asks, "Do you have a large dance floor in your apartment?"<br /><br />At a hen night. Good-looking guy comes up to me and says, "Hi. I'm Randy. I'm RAAAAANNDY!" His friends all laughed, I laughed. Talked to him for a while. Then the bride got sick so we had to leave. It could have worked! She apologized to me the whole walk to the car while I helped hold her up.shakeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00442124484188432165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-87455647737540074492009-06-13T11:38:54.984-07:002009-06-13T11:38:54.984-07:00(I'm a redhead)
"Do the curtains match th...(I'm a redhead)<br />"Do the curtains match the drapes?" I've gotten that one to the point where my gag reflex kicks in now when I hear it. <br /><br />One drunken night I was at a coworker's house, when for some strange reason I thought I had come up with the best pick up line ever. I go up to my hot coworker and say the following:<br /><br />Me: Hey, you're studying to be a firefighter, right?<br />Him: Yeah<br />Me: Well, I just want you to know that you can put out my firecrotch anytime.<br /><br />Another night, at a bar, my friend and I came up with another really cheesy line and he dared me to use it on this cute guy standing near us:<br />Me: Do you like fish?<br />Him: *weird look* yeah...<br />Me: Want some red snapper?<br /><br />He proceeded to talk to me for quite a while that night before another guy came up and cockblocked him.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15774396323034473917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-88752547381306206522009-06-13T11:14:07.269-07:002009-06-13T11:14:07.269-07:00"Wanna lobster?" was LA Ram QB Jim Evere..."Wanna lobster?" was LA Ram QB Jim Everett's way of asking me to dance to Rock Lobster in a club about 15-20 yrs ago. I turned that buffoon down.Little Miss Smoke and Mirrorshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03929842073300471147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-77267530404105376922009-06-13T06:52:50.840-07:002009-06-13T06:52:50.840-07:00...it was after work, my outfit was good and I was...<i>...it was after work, my outfit was good and I was wearing the most amazing pair of shoes you've ever seen...</i><br /><br />Ladies, I hate to be the one to tell you this but unless you're trying to pick up Steve Madden, most men don't find shoes "amazing." We rarely look that far south anyway.Jerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01945395121658105351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-27784706722503367142009-06-13T05:51:22.416-07:002009-06-13T05:51:22.416-07:00some guy started yelling at me for stepping on his...some guy started yelling at me for stepping on his foot. This was a HUGE dude, 6'4 and built, screaming at me in front of everyone! I was totally upset and he kept yelling how rude i was and how i should apologize and i have bad manners. Finally, i started to yell back and defend myself when he started laughing and said "oh i'm just kidding, let me buy you a drink!" needless to say, I did not accept and got the hell out of there. <br /><br />It's a shame, because he was cute too and if he had just talked to me instead, i totally would have been into it!emstee22https://www.blogger.com/profile/17928139930162311125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-71746732773940429032009-06-12T21:31:24.221-07:002009-06-12T21:31:24.221-07:00Well.. I was 17 and at Houlihan's in Oak Brook...Well.. I was 17 and at Houlihan's in Oak Brook Center.. this gross business guy .. who was 50 at least and probably an exec at McDonald's or something .. oozes over to my friend and me who are waiting at the bar for a table. [Her brother was the afternoon bartender .. so we had a pass on the whole age thing for the bar.] <br /><br />Anyway, scuzball oozes over and says, "I bet I could afford to buy you both dinner." Having grown up in the Playboy empire, I knew damn well what that meant. [i.e., Hey! Two naive 17 year olds .. bet I could score big! Sadly .. I pretty much figured that was EXACTLY what he was looking for.] <br /><br />I looked at him and for some reason just got really pissed off with this dirt bag. I mean both myself and my fiend were young - looked young .. okay I didn't but she sure as hell did .. and he was thinking he could pick us up. GROSS!!! So .. with this welling anger and disgust building to a crescendo I just dug into my likewise bag of gross and said in a very loud voice, "Sweetie .. you couldn't afford a blow job." With that I grabbed my friends hand and we walked over to Annie's Santa Fe Cafe instead. <br /><br />And one pick up line that was neither good or bad .. I just wish I would have realized what he was saying when he said it. I was at First Avenue in Minneapolis back in about 1986. This gorgeous guy walked up to me and said, "I don't suppose that's real?" I was kinda in a daze or not thinking I would be hit on or I don't know what .. so without thinking just said, "Yes .. it is." He just looked at me for a few seconds and said, "Damn. That's too bad .. lucky guy." And he walked off. <br /><br />About 15 minutes later I realized he was talking about this stupid CZ ring I was wearing on my left ring finger!! I usually wore it - and actually - it is an amazing replica I still wear today - on my right ring finger. But for some reason that escapes me now .. some 23 years later .. I wasn't wearing it on my right finger .. I had it on the crucial one instead. <br /><br />I ran around First Avenue for a few minutes trying to find the guy .. but never find to explain. My friend Leigh insisted that she saw him leave right after he talked to me .. but I don't know. All I know is I stayed til closing and never saw him again. With my luck .. and with the losers I have had in my life as boyfriends/lovers/husbands .. he was probably The One. Or .. maybe he was a would-be rapist and murderer? So better to think I dodged a bullet rather than I was dumb and missed out on the love of my life. .. He sure was gorgeous. *sigh*Wilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00782102300446155019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-39964601534651637312009-06-12T19:57:45.419-07:002009-06-12T19:57:45.419-07:00"Are you tired? Because you have been runnin..."Are you tired? Because you have been running through my mind all night". <br /><br />"You look good in those jeans, but I would look even better".PotPourrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00734553255425155702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-36436064469572203402009-06-12T18:19:22.470-07:002009-06-12T18:19:22.470-07:00Forgot the best part!!! The soccer player's n...Forgot the best part!!! The soccer player's name was Monty!! How cheesy! Short for Montgomery.Eileenie McMeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15225508611454006634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-10680166529338345362009-06-12T18:16:12.546-07:002009-06-12T18:16:12.546-07:00I'm a freshman in college 5 hours away from my...I'm a freshman in college 5 hours away from my family. I go to the soccer game and fall madly in lust with one of the players. He's a Senior. A male cheerleader friend of mind from my hometown says "I've known girls who were after him for 4 years. Give it up." We went to a party after a game. After several gazzillion beers, I walked up to him and said, "I want to fuck you" and gave him my number. He called before I even got back to my dorm. Gorgeous, but a bouchdag. I hooked up with him several times that year.<br /><br />I was at a bar with some coworkers from Portland. This huge bald guy stops me and says, "I'd like to connect your freckles with my tongue"...didn't work! ICK NAST!Eileenie McMeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15225508611454006634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-17455269580742702922009-06-12T17:15:47.030-07:002009-06-12T17:15:47.030-07:00"I'm in a band".
*sigh*.
We'..."I'm in a band".<br /><br /><br />*sigh*. <br /><br /><br />We've been married 6.5 years. Record deal pending *LOL*.Maja With a Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13273140641643205278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-13248443334657780332009-06-12T16:57:42.189-07:002009-06-12T16:57:42.189-07:00The cheesiest opening line I ever heard came from ...The cheesiest opening line I ever heard came from a male exotic dancer I had a dance class with.<br />He was the only male in with 20 females.<br /><br />Before class began for that day we were the only 2 people in dance room reading the warm up instructions on board. Well he comes and sits by where I am standing reading my legs slightly apart. Cheesy puts his hand VERY high on my thigh & told me:<br /><br />"Now I know how it feels to be the only bee in a field full of beautiful flowers."<br /><br />I give Cheesy a look to kill and tell him in an acid tone.<br />"And now I know how it feels to be petal deep in horse shit& that he wouldn't be feeling much with only one hand."ardleighstreethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182046463125498379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-84023162242087625072009-06-12T16:39:09.355-07:002009-06-12T16:39:09.355-07:00"can we go somewhere and fuck?" Luckily ..."can we go somewhere and fuck?" Luckily i knew the guy and the ho that i was obliged :) to be fair we were in a club ecstasy'd off our face so...<br /><br />"i love your dress, but you know it would look far better on my bedroom floor" urgh.<br /><br />"do i know you? I feel we've met before" No, i don't fucking know you, and to be frank i don't want to either.<br /><br />I was in a bar a few years ago with my husband and this guy came upto me and starting chatting me up. I told him i was married, pointing to my husband. His response: "So? I don't mind if he joins"... ewww, no thanks! Now if a chick had said this i may have given a different answer :)Cooper's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11116935473152181483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-48422233742204668342009-06-12T15:33:20.197-07:002009-06-12T15:33:20.197-07:00My female friend wanted a good line to use on a wo...My female friend wanted a good line to use on a woman in a gay bar so I gave her this one: "Most women would come up here and offer to buy you a drink. I'm rich. What kind of car would you like."<br />She goes to the bar, tries it out on the woman who looks and her and says <br />" I'm straight".JWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12865843984431572520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-55026438158796428232009-06-12T15:28:19.447-07:002009-06-12T15:28:19.447-07:00First time/Long time!
I went to a bar with a frie...First time/Long time!<br /><br />I went to a bar with a friend of mine who was on the prowl and was promptly left to fend for myself. Looking for a seat at the bar I was surprised to find a barstool very gallantly pulled out and I was beckoned to sit down by who I thought must be the drunkest guy in the bar. Until I met his friend. They were both very young and very good looking. They were also incredibly funny, buying me drinks, cracking me up. They told me that they were celebrating graduating. Eventually one of the guys asked me where I was going later. I replied that I didn’t know. He put his arm around me and said, “I’m pretty sure I’m going back to your place” – which is the best line I’ve ever heard. Shortly thereafter, I asked the two friends how long they had been friends. They answered simultaneously, “5 years” and “Since the 8th grade”. They just graduated from high-school! I just put my drink down and walked away. I was in my early 30’s at the time.littlesunshinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14478953556968261513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-66544629561052835712009-06-12T15:26:07.652-07:002009-06-12T15:26:07.652-07:00I was in a pub today, by myself, waiting for a mal...I was in a pub today, by myself, waiting for a male friend. The nearby tv was set to NASCAR. The guy at the bar turned to me and asked if I was watching it. I said no. Just then, my friend arrived so the guy turned away. My friend laughed about the line. I said no, the guy wants to watch the baseball game. My friend said I didn't look like the type of woman that watches NASCAR (it was after work, my outfit was good and I was wearing the most amazing pair of shoes you've ever seen). My friend said he recognized the body language as he himself has done it dozens of times. It's an easy in with no rejection.<br /><br />I think he just wanted to watch the game. <br /><br />A friend and I were ridiculously drunk one night and we saw this completely gorgeous guy. We didn't want to pick him up but we wanted him to know how good looking he was. He said thanks and that he has a girlfriend who just went to Tokyo for several months and that he was "trying not to cheat." We wished him luck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-49949093988210292532009-06-12T14:43:38.538-07:002009-06-12T14:43:38.538-07:00At a bar, this guy comes up to me and says, "...At a bar, this guy comes up to me and says, "Hey, weren't you at my bar mitsvah?"<br /><br />I LOVED that - it was just out of left field and made me laugh! So, it worked.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-70720257913450175082009-06-12T14:34:01.769-07:002009-06-12T14:34:01.769-07:00Oh! I got really drunk at a tailgate in college an...Oh! I got really drunk at a tailgate in college and was going up to groups of cute guys with a beer in hand yelling "cheers to being STD-free!" It was ridiculous.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09857143579205602534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-2535223920248010752009-06-12T14:33:09.596-07:002009-06-12T14:33:09.596-07:00One more. Kibbitzing with gorgeous guy in a bar a...One more. Kibbitzing with gorgeous guy in a bar and he says, "It's my birthday, and I came here to pick up some brainless piece and I get stuck with you." I laugh and he asks "What brings you here tonight." Me: Nothing. Looks like I found it.Pinkyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06134617998172889719noreply@blogger.com