Comments on Crazy Days and Nights: Ignorant Guy Question Of The Day

I agree with xyz. I had only one, but it was a do...

2008-11-17T13:10:00.000-08:00

I agree with xyz. I had only one, but it was a doozy. Not as bad as xyz, but enough that though I wanted another child, I did not want to be pregnant again (but would have done so if the mate would have agreed). So we've settled for one--couldnt' be happier.

It's kind of incredible how many different experie...

2008-11-15T21:53:00.000-08:00

It's kind of incredible how many different experiences are on this blog alone. We're like a little micro-cosmos at CDAN.

I watched "The Business Of Being Born" a little while back, and it made me feel a little bit more positive towards childbirth. I'm still not sure it's for me, but I recommend the movie.

Kid number one was 26 hours of back labor. Second...

2008-11-15T16:45:00.000-08:00

Kid number one was 26 hours of back labor. Second kid was 17 hours of back labor. Have a 300 lb person jump on your lower back while you are trying to crap a watermelon. That is what childbirth felt like. With an epidural. The first kid cracked my tailbone when it came out.
After 10 years I haven't forgotten any of it.
Yes, they are worth it but never fucking again.

After having 3 long horrible pregnancies. I can s...

2008-11-15T15:55:00.000-08:00

After having 3 long horrible pregnancies. I can see why she would say she wouldn't go thru it again. But after the birth of each one of mine, the pain, the pregnancy pains, I knew I could do it again. Having a new baby is magical. It is beautiful. And especially when you see your beautiful baby, you want another to join the group. Adding a sibling just brings more joy. Watching them play, interact. Of course I couldn't say I wanted another for a year after each birth. But....

JoAnn

***It's actually refreshing to hear someone tellin...

2008-11-15T06:37:00.000-08:00

***It's actually refreshing to hear someone telling it like it is instead of the endless "I was so fulfilled,it was a glorious tribute to womanhood, I never felt so much like a woman ....blah...blah,,,,blah". What a bunch of dribble.****

Like I said, I am weird. I have seen I am in the vast minority. I was not uncomfortable except the last ten days or so when I was overdue. I really felt great and energized the whole time. I must have had super happy hormones or something or just been one of those women born to be pregnant because I honestly would LIVE pregnant if I were guaranteed it could be like that all of the time.

That said - I know pregnancies are vastly different, and I have only had one. If I had a second, it might suck ass. :)

i hated being pregnant. every single little minute...

2008-11-15T01:53:00.000-08:00

i hated being pregnant. every single little minute of it. well, at least my second pregnancy.
my first was just like, a comedy of errors. I mean, really, I had the zaniest shit happen to me.
my second, i was on bedrest for like, ever. i went into preterm labor at 20 weeks. FUNSTUFFS.

I'll never forget that. or the hyperemesis. Not to mention I have kidney disease. The first thing fetii attack? kidneys. Hooray for hypertension! Hooray for ending up with hydronephrosis because my daughter wanted to use my ureter as a pillow.

I think my doctors would disown me if I got pregnant again. At one of my appts, doc asked "so...what are you using for bc" and i'm like...abstinence? and he goes "that only works if you use it 100% of the time. How about condoms?" they're for sailors!!!
and the look on his face was like...please don't get pregnant again! but he then realized I was joking.

i read all of your comments and you all put a smil...

2008-11-14T21:44:00.000-08:00

i read all of your comments and you all put a smile on my face. i have massage many many pregnant women in my job as a massage therapist and i have to tell you i have seen a lot of what pregnancy can do and how it ravages the body but i will tell you they all gave off the same kinda vibe i felt when i read all your comments. i cant describe it but it feels like nature at its most comforting. Pregnant woman are doing something so base and pure it is a wonderful thing to be a part of. I am 25, i dont have kids, but the idea has sat with me and one day i would love to adopt or give birth and experiance even one tenth of what you all are discribing.

It's the baby. Falling in love with your baby on ...

2008-11-14T21:26:00.000-08:00

It's the baby. Falling in love with your baby on contact - your brains scramble and it was all worth it.

women's minds are biologically trained to forget t...

2008-11-14T21:17:00.000-08:00

women's minds are biologically trained to forget the pain, otherwise a whole lot of us would never perpetrate our species!!

Pregnant once - didn't take and now I am a chemica...

2008-11-14T20:48:00.000-08:00

Pregnant once - didn't take and now I am a chemical equivalent to Chernobyl [kidney transplant and both anti-rejection drugs I am on are "Black Box"]. But - I would think -even after my experience with 24/7 morning sickness for three months, intense bone pain in my pelvis, aching boobs and just generally feeling like I wanted to die - to come out the other end of that with a child .. I would probably have been willing to try again if that opportunity had ever presented itself. It never did .. so I don't know for sure. But as I sit here now .. thinking about it .. yes.

I have NEVER had a kid & never will. If she has go...

2008-11-14T18:12:00.000-08:00

I have NEVER had a kid & never will. If she has gone thru that & is willing to do it again then I'm attributing it to.....crack addiction. Crack-heads have no memory, so that must be it! 'Nuff said.

My first pregnancy was not good. I lost a twin an...

2008-11-14T18:11:00.000-08:00

My first pregnancy was not good. I lost a twin and hemorrhaged twice. She was a month and a half early with under-developed lungs. I was asked while going into delivery if a class of student nurses could watch and I said sure (i wasn't thinking about anything except having that baby) As soon as I saw her I fell in love with her.

My second pregnancy was just as complicated but he was 3 weeks late (and has never been on time in all of his 20 years). When they brought him to me in my room I just didn't feel the same as I had with my daughter. When the nurse was leaving my room she called me by a different name and, after checking the bracelet, found he wasn't mine. When they brought my little guy in and I held him, he just fit and I loved him instantly. Everything is forgotten when you look into their eyes from that first moment

Disclaimer: I'm a gay man and will never have a ch...

2008-11-14T18:01:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I'm a gay man and will never have a child or father one. Nor do I want to.
That being said, I've always considered my best friend's daughter to be my niece - when she announced she was pregnant, I literally became an emotional wreck. On the one hand, she was too young, the soap opera that was her life didn't need to be bringing another cast member into it, things like that...and on the other hand, OMG, I'm gonna be a grandpa (at least until she can understand I'm Unca Merlin anyway), I'm gonna have a little one to spoil absolutely rotten, I'm gonna have someone to take to Disney World who won't complain about going and above all else, I've got someone who will let me see the beauty of this world through innocent eyes again.
So yeah, I do understand something (by proxy only) of the dichotomy of pregnancy - it's hell to go through but the end result is absolutely worth it.
Personally, I also think that women undergo selective amnesia about the whole thing - after they have the baby, sooner or later, they start thinking, y'know, little (insert name) should have a brother/sister - and the pregnancy/delivery wasn't *that* bad - as a matter of fact, I'm watching a coworker go through that internal discussion right now - I've got an internal pool going on when she'll announce her pregnancy.

I am 5 months pregnant right now. It would be nic...

2008-11-14T17:52:00.000-08:00

I am 5 months pregnant right now. It would be nice for it to be over, and I'm not even that uncomfortable at this stage, just drained of energy. I'm just really excited to have the kid - and a beer would be nice. REALLY nice. :)

Trust... Parents are willing to go through more pa...

2008-11-14T17:50:00.000-08:00

Trust... Parents are willing to go through more painful things than labor for their children. Moms AND Dads.

Let me preface this by saying that I love my child...

2008-11-14T17:30:00.000-08:00

Let me preface this by saying that I love my children. Having said that - dear lord what a friggin' train wreck it was being pregnant. The labor is actually the easiest part simply because you're so relieved to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Getting those two girls out of my body were the best two days of my life.

It's actually refreshing to hear someone telling it like it is instead of the endless "I was so fulfilled,it was a glorious tribute to womanhood, I never felt so much like a woman ....blah...blah,,,,blah". What a bunch of dribble.

Yeah, like I feel real girly when I can't see my feet and my belly's sitting on my lap for the last 5 months?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my kids (all 4) and I only had pa...

2008-11-14T16:42:00.000-08:00

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my kids (all 4) and I only had pain through one of the births but the last pregnancy was HELL and NO, I would not ever do it again. His birth was easy as hell but the pregnancy itself? The worst thing I think I have ever felt.

As for forgetting? No sir, not in MY case. My second delivery was sheer hell, I thought I was going to die. I was blacking out from the pain so bad that my blood pressure dropped and I had to be revived. It was too far in for tem to give me any meds for the pain so I had to ride it through. It didn't stop me from having two more babies but I certainly did not forget..

This was a good post though, a great question. Its interesting to learn of others experiences.

I've never given birth (and don't intend to), but ...

2008-11-14T16:05:00.000-08:00

I've never given birth (and don't intend to), but my friend who has two kids told me that there's a biological basis for women 'forgetting' the pain from giving birth. She said that almost immediately after the baby is delivered, but body release a complex series of hormones which play a role in the forgetting.

Does anyone else know anything about this?

She could have just been having a bad day the day ...

2008-11-14T15:35:00.000-08:00

She could have just been having a bad day the day she said it was horrible. One too many trips to the bathroom, or her stomache rejecting something she had just been craving. And sometimes after you have had the baby you just forget all that other stuff when you look at the prize that you got in the end.

My bff had a torturous pregnancy (gestational diab...

2008-11-14T15:15:00.000-08:00

My bff had a torturous pregnancy (gestational diabetes) and a horrible labor (over two days long, finally ending in a c-section). She remembers perfectly well just how awful it was, but she's decided it's worth doing again to get another one. Plus, she wised up this time and did some bargaining with her husband. Having a once-a-week housekeeper is the least a preggers lady deserves. :)

One kid - born 18.5 years ago.19.5 hours of unmedi...

2008-11-14T14:33:00.000-08:00

One kid - born 18.5 years ago.
19.5 hours of unmedicated labor and natural delivery. Drug-free. Not underwater - no Lemasse (sp?).
It hurt like a motherfucker. I hated being pregnant, too - except for the no period part. 6 months of morning sickness, then bloat and tired. My daughter was so long (22.5 inches at birth) that her feet would get caught up under my ribs. Horrible. When she finally come out, no instant bonding - no "it was worth it!" Just exhaustion and fairly angry at her dad.
That being said - and I definitely remember the pain - I am devastated to know that despite years of trying, I can never do it again.
One kid is all.
One great fucking kid.

I had my daughter 8 years ago, had massive blood l...

2008-11-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

I had my daughter 8 years ago, had massive blood loss, almost required a transfusion, but an easy pregnancy and birth.. I don't remember "PAIN" per se, but I do remember, lots of blood and vomiting and passing out all because of a "fluke".. Hhmm.. No, don't remember Pain, but I remember all that.. so I'm good being a single mom to ONE perfect kid... Fluke.. LOL coulda been a great name/reminder... LOL

labor and delivery RN here. yes, women do forget ...

2008-11-14T13:37:00.000-08:00

labor and delivery RN here. yes, women do forget the worst parts once the baby is here. they fall in love. it cancels out everything. she was probably having a bad day when she said that stuff---back pain, bloating, swollen feet, mourning the loss of her waistline, etc.
but once she had that baby, it was all worth it. that's how it works. childbirth is a unique 'painful' experience in that way. the payoff just wipes out the pain (for MOST people.)
if this weren't true, we'd all be only children.

You really DO forget the intensity of the pain. Yo...

2008-11-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

You really DO forget the intensity of the pain. You remember that it really really really hurt, but, if a woman loves babies and wants one, she'll go through it again. We are heroes, Enty, that's just the way it is!

People ARE allowed to change their minds, ENTY. Yo...

2008-11-14T13:03:00.000-08:00

People ARE allowed to change their minds, ENTY.

You are trying to make her out to be a hypocrit but you can't hold a pregnant woman to anything they say while they're pregnant.

Get over it and quit making stuff up just to get some gossip thrown out on your site. Geez.