Comments on Crazy Days and Nights: Johnny Depp & Megan Fox On Letterman

I got up at five this morning to drive 280 miles t...

2009-06-27T12:56:26.284-07:00

I got up at five this morning to drive 280 miles to the beach. At about 7, I stopped at a restaurant and got some takeout, but it sucked and the baboons behind the drive through window fucked it up. So I did what I always do in that situation: loop around, go through the drivethru again, then throw the fucked up order back at the guttersnipes behind the drivethru window. (I order milkshakes whenever possible for maximum firepower). The gorilla behind the drive thru window threw some of the shit back to me, and since I wasn't going to loop around the drivethru again for another forward compaign, I ate the shit.

I got into town at about 9, and since then I have been having massive yellow shits which burn my ass ring something terrible because they are jam packed with stomach acid. This shit is loose, and in the toilet bowl it looks like the mushroom plume left by an explosion of a thermonuclear bomb. with the yellow particles of shit being held in suspension in the cool, tidey bowl blue water.

I usually drink a Coke to sooth my stomach, and pop one or three or seven Pepcid AC's if that doesn't work. The problem with Pepsid ACs and Nexium for that matter are that they make you shit stomach acid. Too much of that shit burns the end of your colon, your ass ring, and your roids.

I don't want another roid attack. I've only had one and it was more excruciatingly painful than a heart attack. When you see your own blood in the shitter, you feel like you've power crapped an essential part of yourself. Bloody shits look like a goddamn abortion and ass blood smells worse than skunk spray or AXE.

I'm going to have a huge goddamn water bill this month. It's been a big shitting month. And since I'm so fat that I can only clean my ass after shitting by pressing my anus to a jacuzzi noozle and turning the jacuzzi on, that chews up lots of water.

Megan comes from a well-to-do family in Florida bu...

2009-06-27T07:18:08.835-07:00

Megan comes from a well-to-do family in Florida but for some reason chooses the persona of a trailer-trash slut. For that reason I seriously doubt her acting career will outlast her looks even if experiments with alchemy enable her to scrounge up some talent.

ha ha, burn megan!

2009-06-26T23:19:28.659-07:00

ha ha, burn megan!

It may seem strange at first for an actor to say h...

2009-06-26T15:45:11.076-07:00

It may seem strange at first for an actor to say he doesn't like seeing his films, but when you think about it, think about the roots of acting, the stage. I love theater, both seeing it and being in it. And what I love doesn't come from watching me on stage, but doing it. So I completely understand what he means.

I saw Johnny on Letterman. God, I love that man! M...

2009-06-26T14:24:34.504-07:00

I saw Johnny on Letterman. God, I love that man! Megan Fox is icky and gross. She looks really low class and doesn't seem very smart.

Out of any other actor's mouth, and it would have ...

2009-06-26T13:55:51.148-07:00

Out of any other actor's mouth, and it would have been arrogant...out of Johnny Depp, it's endearing and genuine.

He just came up a notch, and I've never been a JD gal.

Also, I don't put Megan in the same league as John...

2009-06-26T12:13:43.820-07:00

Also, I don't put Megan in the same league as Johnny.

I watched it. I love Johnny. He did seem uncomfort...

2009-06-26T12:00:23.177-07:00

I watched it. I love Johnny. He did seem uncomfortable, but then I thought Dave did too. Megan must have sat in that same position her entire interview only to turn her head a couple of times. Johnny got about 1/2 hr to Megans 5 minutes.

Jungle I saw Bruno but had to turn it off because ...

2009-06-26T11:50:40.509-07:00

Jungle I saw Bruno but had to turn it off because he annoyed me. I just don't get SBC's humor but I keep hoping someday I will considering so many people seem to find him funny.

meh.

2009-06-26T11:38:39.626-07:00

meh.

Did anyone catch Bruno on Coco? That was pretty jo...

2009-06-26T11:37:06.507-07:00

Did anyone catch Bruno on Coco? That was pretty jokes.... I love me some Johnny Depp but i've never cared much for Letterman and I can't put my finger on why...... Guess I'm just a "tonight show" gal at heart.

I absolutely love him. He just seems real...I choo...

2009-06-26T11:11:09.362-07:00

I absolutely love him. He just seems real...I choose to believe that is true...

i must say that he looks damn good in his upcoming...

2009-06-26T11:08:28.594-07:00

i must say that he looks damn good in his upcoming pic.

I saw Johnny last night on Letterman and found him...

2009-06-26T11:07:28.947-07:00

I saw Johnny last night on Letterman and found him enjoyable. He seemed to be truthfully shy.

He was cute.

Don't know why but I find the green interior of th...

2009-06-26T11:02:10.155-07:00

Don't know why but I find the green interior of that car intresting.