Comments on Crazy Days and Nights: What Do You Think?

I guess the doctor is claiming that since since he...

2009-01-11T09:53:00.000-08:00

I guess the doctor is claiming that since since he donated his kidney, that could affect his work at some point. Like saying if he develops some sort of kidney problem years from now, he would only have one kidney to deal with it, and he might not be able to work as well.

I don't know. Apparently his lawyer calls into Howard Stern's show a lot. I think his name is Dominick. He called in a few days ago to try to explain his side of the story.

I think it's silly what he is trying to do, though.

DB, I'm so glad you are free from that situation, ...

2009-01-09T09:31:00.000-08:00

DB, I'm so glad you are free from that situation, although I'm sorry it came to that for you. I was worried when you first talked about what was going on, and I'm glad you're safe now!

Wil, that sucks all around. :( I hope your new kidney stays strong! I heard a news story a few weeks ago about how a lot of people can't get divorced now because they can't sell their homes, and neither spouse can afford to pay the mortgage by themselves.

Jasmine, that's how much a person may pay to get a...

2009-01-09T09:28:00.000-08:00

Jasmine, that's how much a person may pay to get an organ on the black market, not how much the donor gets. Most illegal transplants come from desperate people living in poverty who will gladly sell an organ for a few thousand dollars to save their families.

Dude is just desperate to do anything to hold onto her, not realizing that it's way over.

There was a similar story to this in an episode of...

2009-01-09T06:25:00.000-08:00

There was a similar story to this in an episode of “House”; only it was a same sex female couple.

I know why she cheated, to get away from this cree...

2009-01-09T06:13:00.000-08:00

I know why she cheated, to get away from this creep.

I know why he gave the kidney, so he could always control her like a robot slave.

He needs to have the other kidney taken out!

I have strong feelings about this because a simila...

2009-01-09T00:22:00.000-08:00

I have strong feelings about this because a similar situation occured within my family - my parents, in fact. I know I'm in the minority here, but I think that while offering an organ to keep someone in your debt is undoubtedly a manipulative act of neediness and desperation, accepting it with treachery in your heart is even colder.

I don't know the specifics of their marriage, if he really did this to keep her or if she still loved him at the time, but if their relationship was in trouble when she was ill... I don't think I could have accepted that offer under the same circumstances, no matter how much I wanted it. That's just worsening an already fuucked-up situation.

seriously for a good full minute i thought about l...

2009-01-08T22:40:00.000-08:00

seriously for a good full minute i thought about living with one less organ.
i mean 1.5 mil? holy shit.

I shall entitle this post "Oh holy christ .. where...

2009-01-08T21:45:00.000-08:00

I shall entitle this post "Oh holy christ .. where the hell do I begin?? or ... Party of CDAN .. your order of TMI is ready!" {And forgive if this is too casual .. if I don't stay light with this I will lose my mind.]

And first .. to dbFreak .. please don't beat yourself up. We all need love and sometimes it comes when and where we least expect it.

On the 27th of March I will celebrate the 6th anniversary of my own kidney transplant during a marriage that would likely not have happened if I wasn't sick. I think it was a "it's the right thing to do" thing. I got married in August of 1997, went into the hospital to have one of my two failing kidneys removed to be listed with UNOS in September of 1998 - turned out that little bit of function was the only thing saving me from dialysis - and was on dialysis by June 6, 1999. From that date til my transplant, I lost my job, my friends, almost my life .. I was so bad off by January of 2003 when I went to Miami to get listed there they said no. [Dialysis is by no means any where near as effective as a real kidney and I had vascular damage, neurological damage that resembled something akin to Alzheimer's and my dialysis was so poor that my entire body was being degraded and slowly poisoned. So the doctors in Miami told me to go back home to Minneapolis, there was nothing they could do for me.]

But before that, in the late Spring early Summer of 2002 my spouse was drinking, distant and we had long since ended any physical side to our relationship and if I am honest that was actually gone before we even got married. So I fell in love with my best friend and had an affair with him so I could feel that passion again before I died. I knew the marriage was over .. so did my spouse .. but we both figured the end would come in the form of death .. not a divorce.

So the happy day arrives in 2003 - and according to the University of Miami - mere weeks before my anticipated death - and I get a reprieve from the great organ governor in the sky. And suddenly everyone is all happy .. new beginning!! Woo Hoo!! .. but I was not feeling that way. It was just I wasn't as sick and worse my brain was getting better and I was really seeing that it was a huge mistake for us to get married. Enter the guilt of thinking about leaving the person who went through this nightmare with me.

But then I met the man I was certain I had been spared to find. He was beautiful, brilliant mind, passionate, was also coming out of a bad marriage. We started as friends, but the connection quickly proved to be more than that and I was certain .. like "I know there is a God" certain - I had found the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with.

I have been in love with him since - 4 years on now. But in the end, he managed to get divorced, I am still stuck because I need the money out of this house I own with my spouse to clear debt from the marriage per Minnesota state law before I can divorce. He got pissed, last summer had a massive mid-life crisis and -probably rightly regardless of my still very strong feelings about him and his part in my life - ended it with me. [I am still devastated to a level I have never reached before .. probably because I was so certain he was "the One." But I have little to say in this area, at this point.]

Another factor in this might be something I was warned about before I was even released from the hospital .. relationships of all sorts tend to die after battles with serious illness. Though, at the time, I think their intention with that warning me as a transplant recipient what my spouse might do .. not what I might be thinking. Regardless, I think it still rings true. Stressful situations lead people to drastic changes.

So .. do you want to hear my take? Not even sure anyone will even want to read what I just wrote. But .. In for a penny ... in for a pound.

I am certain .. especially after reading the article, the husband wants her back. She doesn't want to go back. He needs help to heal and needs to realize - as a doctor no less - that his money BS can and will have negative effects on organ donation. UNOS does not pay for organs .. they will now have to field calls from idiots who want to sell organs for $1.5 mil when organs are harder than hell to procure as it is. [Part of the reason I spent so long on the list was I am B- .. very rare thought not as rare as AB-. If I lose my organ .. I will likely never live to see another organ come my way.] So .. he needs to seek treatment. I understand being heart broken .. but you have to move on. I think since body part is also involved, psychotherapy would be a really good idea.

As for if my spouse had offered .. I am so very happy I don't have to count how many angel dance on the head of that pin and have the answer have any true consequence. But I would think I would still realize it is a disservice to him as much as to me to stay together. He deserves to be happy as much as I do. Someday I hope the economy will afford us that luxury.

Okay .. end of TMI stream of consciousness on this very personal issue. Someday I am going to put this all into a book .. I just don't know if anyone would want to read it.

Infantile revenge. No surprise she dumped him. I...

2009-01-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

Infantile revenge. No surprise she dumped him. It's been her kidney since she got it, and selling/buying body parts is illegal.

and, truthfully, we don't know what happened with ...

2009-01-08T17:31:00.000-08:00

and, truthfully, we don't know what happened with these two people. if she filed in 2005, who knows if she just pulled some kind of shit on him to have him make this ridiculous claim.
obviously, he's not serious.

dbfreak, i understand your story COMPLETELY. not exactly the same circumstances, but, yeah, my high school sweetheart helped me get out. i had dated mr. bunny before the asshole, and he "took me back". he walks on water, 24 years later, as far as i'm concerned.

IIRC, george lopez also received a kidney from his wife, and i always thought that was a sweet story. although as far as i know, he didn't run out and cheat on her. BUT, i wonder if they divorced, if she could receive alimony forever based on his lifetime income? interesting concept.

@dbfreak. No judgments here, babe. Glad you got aw...

2009-01-08T17:03:00.000-08:00

@dbfreak. No judgments here, babe. Glad you got away from your abuser.

As someone who is currently separated from my husb...

2009-01-08T15:28:00.000-08:00

As someone who is currently separated from my husband and sadly, most likely looking at divorce, I have a few things to say about this.

This story scared the living bejeezus out of me, while at the same time causing me to thank God that a) we have no children and b) he's never donated an organ to me, put me through school or given me anything of monetary value that can't be given back.

Your comments on women cheating are very interesting to me. I guess think what you will of me, but my view of this subject is not from an objective perspective. I never, ever, ever thought I would go outside my marriage. Ever. I didn't get married to have children, or not be alone, but because I had known my now-husband for 20 years and truly thought that he was the one. Well, he changed, got abusive in a way that mind-fucked me hard, then started having sex with me in the middle of the night while I was sleeping against my will and after I explicitly asked him to never do it again. Well, a guy I know was always really nice to me, and he was supportive through my marital issues and now I'm sleeping with him. Some women and men cheat because they're slimy or can't be satisfied by who they are with or are selfish assholes. Some do it because they find themselves in a really bad situation and someone is nice to them. I think before we condemn this woman for cheating and putting her at the level of her (ex-)husband in terms of being a tool, maybe we need to know a bit more about why she cheated. Sometimes, when you're trying to figure things out, and you feel like you're going crazy, that other person can be the only bright spot in your life, even though it's wrong.

Little Bobby (stamps foot): I only gave you dat wh...

2009-01-08T14:56:00.000-08:00

Little Bobby (stamps foot): I only gave you dat when we were FRIENDS. We're not friends anymore 'cuz you played tag with Billy. I want my game BACK!!! *starts to cry and punches little Suzie in the arm*

He needs a good cuff across the head and to be told to stand in the corner until he can act like a big boy.

the husband is being petty. his ego is bruised an...

2009-01-08T14:48:00.000-08:00

the husband is being petty. his ego is bruised and now someone must pay.

he should just let it go. i'm sure this divorce is a blessing for him...let her have the damn kidney...he still has his peen......

2007 statistics:In North America up to 37 per cent...

2009-01-08T14:43:00.000-08:00

2007 statistics:

In North America up to 37 per cent of men and 22 per cent of women have cheated.

Cheryl, glad to hear everything worked out for you...

2009-01-08T14:33:00.000-08:00

Cheryl, glad to hear everything worked out for you and your sister. Too many assholes out there lol.

My oh so humble opinion is that you keep dating th...

2009-01-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

My oh so humble opinion is that you keep dating the same "type".

Ror, did ya at least get the funbags back when you tossed the cheating sluts to the curb? reduce, reuse, recycle

Rhianna-Although I agree with you on 'most' of wha...

2009-01-08T13:51:00.001-08:00

Rhianna-
Although I agree with you on 'most' of what you wrote, the "pretty damn rare" line caught my attention.

I have dated/lived with a LOT of women in my life. The majority have cheated on me.

Rare? Perhaps from what you have seen, but not what I have experienced, sadly.

The wife filed for divorce in 2005. Why is he jus...

2009-01-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

The wife filed for divorce in 2005. Why is he just now asking for that damn kidney or is this old news?

The judge should have ordered a straight jacket for him a long time ago.

"Yeah, she's skeesy for cheating on him, but for a...

2009-01-08T13:45:00.000-08:00

"Yeah, she's skeesy for cheating on him, but for a woman to cheat is (as previously said) pretty damn rare. There are reports of their marriage being crap before the 'gift'."

That is a big heaping load of horse shit. Cheating between the sexes is statistically equal.

Ladies... if you were married to that selfish fuck...

2009-01-08T13:40:00.000-08:00

Ladies... if you were married to that selfish fuck, you'd cheat, too. You'd hold out for the kidney then leave his ass instantly. The fact that it took her 4 years to escape is a damn shame.

Dude smacks of an ass rarely seen. The kind that w...

2009-01-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

Dude smacks of an ass rarely seen. The kind that would wake her up every night to say "did you say THANK YOU for your life-saving kidney"? He's a dick, and comes off as a total control freak bastard.

Yeah, she's skeesy for cheating on him, but for a woman to cheat is (as previously said) pretty damn rare. There are reports of their marriage being crap before the 'gift'.

Move the f*ck on! She has your kidney. Your kids have their mom. Jesus H. Christ on a crutch! Remember the love that used to be there, and feel sad it's over but don't degrade the mother of your children, or yourself.

"we didn't work, i want my organ back even though ...

2009-01-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

"we didn't work, i want my organ back even though its going to be kinda hard to put it back in"

I think I read that in a completely different way from how you intended it.

Thanks for asking Sylvia. My sister is ok. She is ...

2009-01-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

Thanks for asking Sylvia. My sister is ok. She is remarried to a nice guy. It's just shocking what people will do to hurt each other. I've been badly burned by extended family so I'm a bit sensitive. I'm fine too. Great husband, beautiful kids. I hope Mrs. Kidney can move on.

an organ is not an engagement ring.wth!? you can't...

2009-01-08T13:16:00.000-08:00

an organ is not an engagement ring.
wth!? you can't just be like "we didn't work, i want my organ back even though its going to be kinda hard to put it back in"

ugh, i have kidney disease and this shit actually scares me.

moosefan! Thank you for doing your job! my biomom was on dialysis for 2 weeks short of 11 years when she passed away.
And I'll be on dialysis at some point :\