tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post8308721935787194883..comments2024-03-20T02:18:58.950-07:00Comments on Crazy Days and Nights: Chris Brown & Rihanna At The MTV Awards - Discussent lawyerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08658046190988387228noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-57425095988838344342012-09-08T14:47:20.335-07:002012-09-08T14:47:20.335-07:00AKM, I am also a social worker, so maybe that'...AKM, I am also a social worker, so maybe that's why we're of one mind here. It doesn't do any good to tell people what to do. People don't make perfect choices because there usually AREN'T perfect choices, and pressuring people into what we believe is the right choice doesn't work long term. Rihanna apparently broke up wtih Chris due to public pressure. THAT worked well, huh?<br /><br />And also, we don't own celebrities. She can do whatever the fuck she wants. I know fans think that she owes them something, but she's doesn't owe them anything but gratitude for their support.ugly leotardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892509630300490709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-61283874682560424552012-09-08T12:19:57.569-07:002012-09-08T12:19:57.569-07:00Michelle, in social work, we DO have discourse abo...Michelle, in social work, we DO have discourse about ALL options that might be out there for abused clients. That's kind of the point of the work, and no one of conscience would disagree with that. <br /><br />We still have to remember that our clients are adults and that ultimately -- you're going to hate this -- their choices are THEIR choices. Think about it...if we tell clients what they should do, are we not exactly the same as the controlling, abusive partners who already tell them what to do?!AKMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15250302358099968270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-87562435146060300852012-09-08T05:50:10.171-07:002012-09-08T05:50:10.171-07:00I am sick of the way the word CHOICE gets bandied ...I am sick of the way the word CHOICE gets bandied around without consideration for responsibility, accountability, or consequences. Sure Rhianna has the right to choose CB. But what if she is ignorant to the consequences of her choice such as statics showing the number of abusers (those who don't try to change, in particular) who not only continue abuse but also escalate their actions to include murder? And what about responsibility for choices - by giving CB a free pass, she is essentially saying she condones his behavior. And she, in turn, is enabling the abuser. She is young. She might be thinking with her emotions rather than her intellect. She might be naive to potential risks, etc. Instead of a "live and let others live" regardless attitude is harmful. I am not saying to intervene but, at least, allow for discourse to allow Rhianna and others to think about the consequences of those choices. I will step off the soapbox. It's just in my profession teaching young adults, I have seen how the lack of consequences for choice have led to some lazy, entitled, self-harming, and harm-to-others behaviors.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-6643737683383974222012-09-08T05:08:47.253-07:002012-09-08T05:08:47.253-07:00@dia I, too, have a story where the abuser changed...@dia I, too, have a story where the abuser changed after much remorse, hard work, and time. Chris B. hasn't changed, however, as is evidenced by his Today show violent reaction to questions last year and other rants and fits of rage. What is sad is that Ri is trying to give CB a free pass, particularly since some people who genuinely change are still ostracized by society for past abuse due to those abusers who don't change and/or commit more heinous acts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-70469477147147705972012-09-07T19:48:27.688-07:002012-09-07T19:48:27.688-07:00So sad to hear. Hugs to you. So sad to hear. Hugs to you. MissMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03608462676369703178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-79171316863329235422012-09-07T19:27:21.657-07:002012-09-07T19:27:21.657-07:00I'm pretty sick of people's attitude about...I'm pretty sick of people's attitude about this whole thing. It is her choice. You want to talk about women's choices... this is a choice. Is it a choice I like? No, but it's NOT MY CHOICE. It is hers. She's been getting shit over her choice in boyfriend since 2009. STFU and let it go.ugly leotardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892509630300490709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-1775030878789286412012-09-07T17:48:21.415-07:002012-09-07T17:48:21.415-07:00@Em - That was so sweet. Thanks!
@AKM - High five...@Em - That was so sweet. Thanks!<br /><br />@AKM - High five to you for helping out other survivors! That's a really hard job. Big hub!!!<br /><br />@Diane - Kudos for you for making that hard step! What an inspiration for us all!<br /><br />Thanks to everyone else for sharing their stories! OMG! so many strong ladies!!!<br /><br />And to all the lurkers who were wondering if their abusive man would change, it sounds like the consensus is NO. <br /><br />dia papayahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05503144097726595269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-60726303631908900372012-09-07T17:38:00.715-07:002012-09-07T17:38:00.715-07:00I know a few dads that have full or primary custod...I know a few dads that have full or primary custody of their kids and it truly was a blessing for the kids in each of these cases. I'm sure your coworker will be forever grateful to you.PugsterMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03869312656719798025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-332473421605884432012-09-07T17:22:14.716-07:002012-09-07T17:22:14.716-07:00Too cute!!Too cute!!auntliddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03772566205262926673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-89983654022174463442012-09-07T17:18:57.592-07:002012-09-07T17:18:57.592-07:00I wld never laugh at someone who got physically ab...I wld never laugh at someone who got physically abused!!! Idk what the answer is; they both need help. He prob copying what he grew up with, and she prob likes the high of the danger. I wish they cld be helped. auntliddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03772566205262926673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-27280878518208060492012-09-07T17:12:58.313-07:002012-09-07T17:12:58.313-07:00That stinks and is so unfair. HugsThat stinks and is so unfair. Hugsauntliddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03772566205262926673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-11232030097918658342012-09-07T16:10:08.081-07:002012-09-07T16:10:08.081-07:00This is like an Ike and Tina thing but without the...This is like an Ike and Tina thing but without the nam myoho renge kyo happy ending!<br />Oopsy_Daisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18206319355716190586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-16990235701697776252012-09-07T13:56:46.998-07:002012-09-07T13:56:46.998-07:00@shauniebear
so sorry to hear about your loss. se...@shauniebear<br /><br />so sorry to hear about your loss. sending hugs, bunnies, kittens, puppies, sunshine & flowers.<br /><br /><br />justduckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03362789280927637636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-47689528765690404952012-09-07T12:51:52.304-07:002012-09-07T12:51:52.304-07:00@jennifer, have you ever been tested for diabetes?...@jennifer, have you ever been tested for diabetes? Seriously, you wouldn't believe how many undiagnosed diabetics there are and it can play havoc with your emotional status.Agent**Ithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08540236442474211199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-89636728076765848292012-09-07T12:45:53.723-07:002012-09-07T12:45:53.723-07:00i have anger issues too and a few years ago i went...i have anger issues too and a few years ago i went to rehab for anorexia & during therapy they asked me why i was so angry & i said i don't know, they asked me if i was ever diagnosed as bipolar & i said no but sometimes i felt like i was. one time i got into a screamjng fight with my mom & she said why are you so angry all the time? i said i don't know maybe i'm bipolar! she just said no you're not. well the rehab never diagnosed me as bipolar they just said i was angry b/c my father molested me and i've never been able to deal with it but i think it's bullshit b/c 2 years ago i was put on medicine for severe migraines & it also treats bipolar disorder & borderline personality disorder...well since i've been on it for 2 years i haven't really had any violent outbursts. oh and i'm also OCDAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08807160572552654307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-69662044445557178282012-09-07T12:20:19.225-07:002012-09-07T12:20:19.225-07:00@AKM, dia, Em, Amber, I think you all are great co...@AKM, dia, Em, Amber, I think you all are great commenters, so on the meth thread I felt compelled to say a quick little something to the person who was stirring it up, when I might usually ignore it...<br /><br />I do think swearing back at a post like that is counter-productive (none of you did that) but I think it's great that posters feel protective of our safe little space here. There's definitely a time where one has to disengage, but I for one think everyone handled themselves beautifully, as usual.Seattle_Stripshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10638760585575119872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-1697289494891473892012-09-07T12:11:40.533-07:002012-09-07T12:11:40.533-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.redronniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13567067554280056822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-43558959003990412482012-09-07T11:59:47.553-07:002012-09-07T11:59:47.553-07:00It's just a classic Leslie Caron hairstyle.It's just a classic Leslie Caron hairstyle.Ingrid Superstarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05177819928384545257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-77194176545670336062012-09-07T11:57:56.226-07:002012-09-07T11:57:56.226-07:00Pugster, I've witnessed the same with a previo...Pugster, I've witnessed the same with a previous co-worker.It took a lot of us (female co workers) to assist him through the ordeal. What we did to help was (beyond the emotional support, etc) was to DOCUMENT and RESEARCH everything for him to assist in guiding him to the correct network of legal assistance, etc. What an ordeal. It was exhausting just to witness it via pitching in. But, he won, got the kids and got to get the hell away from her. Agent**Ithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08540236442474211199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-46075498646082187122012-09-07T11:50:55.599-07:002012-09-07T11:50:55.599-07:00GO DIANE! And Coriander, and everyone else who'...GO DIANE! And Coriander, and everyone else who's ever left an abusive relationship. Myself included.<br /><br />Those of us who work with DV/IPV survivors are not supposed to sway them one way or the other regarding leaving, but in light of the research that reveals that most abusers don't change, it's pretty clear how we feel on the inside. <br /><br />AKMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15250302358099968270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-20275255770943193372012-09-07T11:50:24.930-07:002012-09-07T11:50:24.930-07:00I know a very kind man that was abused by his wife...I know a very kind man that was abused by his wife for years. He stayed because he was afraid to leave his child with his crazy wife. He was si ashamed. Eventually he left her ans has full custody of the child. Just an fyi for men.PugsterMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03869312656719798025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-88074070983879099482012-09-07T11:46:12.420-07:002012-09-07T11:46:12.420-07:00So glad for you!So glad for you!PugsterMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03869312656719798025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-33212447678076233092012-09-07T11:40:25.904-07:002012-09-07T11:40:25.904-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Coriander Sheahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01287068367035944712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-15916641400234488482012-09-07T11:26:34.241-07:002012-09-07T11:26:34.241-07:00@Diane, my faith in women is once again restored -...@Diane, my faith in women is once again restored - Bless You! Agent**Ithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08540236442474211199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37309174.post-69862576642160725372012-09-07T11:20:40.265-07:002012-09-07T11:20:40.265-07:00High-five to Diane. Kudos for taking your life bac...High-five to Diane. Kudos for taking your life back. Doesn't matter how many false starts you had or how long it took you to actually do it, the important thing is, you *did* do it. That's something to be proud of.Lux Luthorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06798774383718882652noreply@blogger.com