Comments on Crazy Days and Nights: Your Turn

I regret being a married man's mistress. Hurt his ...

2009-11-09T17:19:28.523-08:00

I regret being a married man's mistress. Hurt his family, ruined my life, and the only one who paid for (and still is, likely will until I manage to move out of this small town) was myself.
Never, ever again.

I grew up with "respect your elders" and "your eld...

2009-11-09T11:59:47.870-08:00

I grew up with "respect your elders" and "your elders are always right". Completely screwed up my life. I mean, because of my mother and her aunts and their pathetically warped views of the world, I was a 18 year-old high school graduate thinking her life was over. It's also what got me to marry because I didn't think I would meet anyone else. Seriously. The only thing I can do now is move forward. Painfully, slowly move forward.

My first time commenting non anonymously. My big...

2009-11-08T19:22:39.153-08:00

My first time commenting non anonymously.

My biggest regret is encouraging a dear friend to go to the police to report a rape. That seems outrageous, right? My regret is due to the fact that the man's defense lawyer raked my friend over the coals when she was in the witness stand. He blamed her for the rape, asking her about her sexual history and blaming her promiscuity for "wanting it." This happened in the early 1990s. His bullsh** convinced the jury to declare the POS not guilty.

Another thing I regret is ending a relationship with a man in 1998 because my mother thought he was not right for me. Last year, he spent almost a year looking for me. He tracked me down, and have been seeing each other secretly for over a year. I haven't said anything to my mother for fear of jinxing my new good fortune of having him in my life again; besides, it's really none of her business. It was making my personal life her business that caused me to end the relationship in the first place.

I regret having an abortion in 2003, when I was 33 yrs old. I am pro choice; I just wish I had more children. I absolutely do not regret my one daughter, aged 18 years. I had her when I was in college. She is the best decision I have ever made.

I regret not knowing the people who post on this s...

2009-11-08T06:05:37.445-08:00

I regret not knowing the people who post on this site. You are incredible individuals, who add a significant amount of colour to my life. I love it when Enty allows/encourages us to vent to muse, to wonder what if? I often wonder what would have happened if I would have married the boy from school, but then I would not have this life, I wonder what would have happened if I would have learned to love myself years ago, but then I wouldn't have had the wonder and delight of emerging hope and peace in my later years. The only regret I have is not being more adventurous..not having the courage to just go and see the world. Maybe later..

I wish I would have been more committed, I have ha...

2009-11-08T05:55:26.004-08:00

I wish I would have been more committed, I have had excellent jobs but never stayed at one more than a year, I've done some incredible work, yet have not saved enough for retirement or to buy a house. I regret not telling my parents how much I loved them before they died. I regret my siblings and I going our separate ways and having no contact but it is for the best as they are emotionally abusive as I am a half-sibling and they never let me forget it.

sorry I clicked too soon. Meant to add, it's what ...

2009-11-07T20:11:48.080-08:00

sorry I clicked too soon. Meant to add, it's what we do now that makes the difference.

Oh, I'm past the anonymous feature time. So I'll k...

2009-11-07T20:10:52.290-08:00

Oh, I'm past the anonymous feature time. So I'll keep that one to myself.

The one thing I regret most, though, is beating myself up over all the times I've done/said something stupid or inappropriate. Things that the other people who were involved probably don't remember or have forgiven me for years ago. All it takes is hearing something random and I don't just remember one thing, I remember so many - like it becomes a giant wave big enough to surf. I hate feeling that way.

I believe that whatever we have now was meant to be, regardless of what path we might have taken. There are certain lessons in life we need to learn - would it matter if it were done in a different house with different spouses and different jobs? The effect would be the same.

Not telling my parents that my runaway sister was ...

2009-11-07T17:39:25.196-08:00

Not telling my parents that my runaway sister was staying at my place, and instead of letting her return on Monday as we had planned, talking her out of going to California and then calling the parents.
Instead, I stayed quiet and allowed her to stay, and she ended up being accidentally shot (not by me incidentally) and killed the day before (Sunday) she was going to go home to face the parents.
That one event shaped my life like no other.

To everyone who regrets not having gone to school ...

2009-11-07T15:42:03.364-08:00

To everyone who regrets not having gone to school for something, it's never too late to go back to school. This college drop-out went to beauty school at 33, and it was the best thing I ever did. And my great aunt got her high school diploma at 61 years old, after raising 5 children. Never too late.

I would have my daughter removed from the classroo...

2009-11-07T15:38:27.163-08:00

I would have my daughter removed from the classroom of a very inexperienced and apparently neurotic 2nd grade teacher much sooner than I did. It took years to repair the damage 5 months with one bad teacher did to a gifted child with undiagnosed ADHD. :(

Many not so good things have happened to me in my ...

2009-11-07T12:02:32.281-08:00

Many not so good things have happened to me in my life, but I don't regret most of them now, because after reading all of your comments, I know that these things have or will make me a stronger person. Many of you have had much worse things happen to you in your lives and I am so sorry.

I currently regret one thing: wanting to get out of my abusive marriage so fast that I didn't protect my financial rights - I took responsibility for all the marital debt instead of only the 50% I was responsible for by law and I agreed to pay my abusive ex alimony for a year so he wouldn't come after me for more and I could just get out. I'm facing bankruptcy because of this, not being able to live in the house for which I paid all the bills for until my ex finally agreed to leave just before our divorce and other stupid financial decisions I made.

However, this is a relatively small thing compared to what many of you have had to go through, and I know I will get through this, even though I've just been laid off and don't have another job yet.

I hope those of you who feel so lonely and bad now will get some help somehow, someway. I know I don't really know you, but I'm worried about you - no one should have to live life so unhappy. Even though I'm kind of messed up now, I wish I could help you or let you share my support system of family and friends - they are what has gotten me through many tough times and are helping me get through this current bumpy time too.

I am A 3:52, & first Enty thanks for being here & ...

2009-11-07T10:54:33.617-08:00

I am A 3:52, & first Enty thanks for being here & doing what you do, to entertain, inform, and help. You are awesome. thank you Kinsey, for your kind words, they really uplifted me & gave me solace. Thank you also to A, who shared the story of her adoption & life, with me, to tell me I was loved, how beautiful & kind of you to share that, bless you A, Enty, & Kinsey, I will keep your words in my heart, to bring me comfort, in the days ahead, for 12/14 is my daughters birthday, it's the day I cried, held her, & said good bye.

Anonymous @ 2:07 PM I regret not being one of the...

2009-11-07T10:12:17.869-08:00

Anonymous @ 2:07 PM

I regret not being one of the men you turned down years ago, and then running into you today..

I regret going to college. I am now about to owe ...

2009-11-07T09:57:30.236-08:00

I regret going to college. I am now about to owe more than 100k for two bachelor's degrees and don't even have a job with it. I am perfectly happy with my promotion I just got...in retail. I actually love my job but it doesn't matter because now 100% of my pay is going to paying back my student loans.

Another thing, I wish I hadn't let myself get fat because I used to be GORGEOUS.

Getting married so young.

2009-11-07T09:27:23.914-08:00

Getting married so young.

I regret being born. My mother wanted to mend tha...

2009-11-07T09:11:46.107-08:00

I regret being born.

My mother wanted to mend that marriage, and she thougth that with having kids the hubby would grow up and become a man. It didn't happen when my elder brother was born - but then she didn't want to have an only child. Thus I was born.

I regret having feelings and memory.

If I hadn't, I wouldn't be suffering now from memories of incest from my father, of bullying from kids my age, of emotional abuse from my husband.

I regret being emphathetic.

If I weren't, I would not suffer from all around anguish when I see or hear about abuse, suffering and wars. I would not have done my best to protect my mother. And I would kill myself off and be done with life without any concern for how it would affect my kids.

I don't regret my kids being born.

But I regret giving them a shitty father. And I regret being such a wreck of a mother. They deserve better than me.

@ 8:39pm .... AKA Ror. Ror, you of all people sho...

2009-11-07T08:29:32.283-08:00

@ 8:39pm .... AKA Ror.

Ror, you of all people should have regrets since you MURDERED a man.

This comment, among others, goes to (repeatedly) prove that you do not have a conscience.

I regret lots of things but I wouldnt change many ...

2009-11-07T04:10:55.665-08:00

I regret lots of things but I wouldnt change many of them they got me where I am today.

But if I could do it again I wouldnt take the job I have now, I have to return in two months after maternity leave and I have something aproaching a panic attack every time I think about going back. I would hand my notice in but I havent got another job to go to, my boss cant stand me and has a history of giving really bad refrences even to excelent practitioners and I have to return for 3 months or pay my maternity pay back. Also Im stuck there because of the above average pay and generous pension plan and sick pay. Bastards.

So Im going to finish the degree I started before I got pregnant then tell them to shove it up thier arse.

I don't regret a damn thing and won't waste my tim...

2009-11-07T02:03:41.430-08:00

I don't regret a damn thing and won't waste my time feeling regretful. I could look at negative crap, but what's the point when there's more positive crap?

As a Mom I'm always guilty about not being a good enough Mom, but hell, that goes with the territory and everybody turned great, so I must have done something right.

Anonymous @ 7:33, I feel like you and I are alike ...

2009-11-06T21:18:03.433-08:00

Anonymous @ 7:33, I feel like you and I are alike in sooooooooo many ways it's scary!!!

I grew up with a brother who abused me mentally and sexually.

Abusing me mentally, he called me ugly, stupid, worthless, POS, etc. and I believed him. I regret that I never stood up to him or all the other people later on in my life that I let treat me so poorly because I thought I deserved to be treated that way.

I regret not telling someone that he was sexually abusing me much sooner. After he stopped, I still had to live with him. I was 14 at the time and it was like I was 5 all over again. My parents basically babysat me to make sure I would never be alone with him. I wish I would have said, "Either he goes or I do!" It felt like I was being punished for telling on him.

I regret pushing people away and only having one good friend now. I'm so lonely sometimes that it hurts.

I regret not appreciating what I have. I've had a lot of bad in my life but I've also had a lot of good too.

Anon 8:39: STFU. I have thought long and hard abo...

2009-11-06T21:11:25.189-08:00

Anon 8:39: STFU.

I have thought long and hard about how I want to answer this.....

Of course I wish I would've tried harder in school, got a different degree,made more money....

But you know what?

I don't "regret" one single thing in my life, because I would not be who I am now, I would not have what I have now, and I would not have the knowledge to pass along to my wonderful children had I not did *exactly* what I have done.

well, now i regret reading all these bleeding hear...

2009-11-06T20:39:31.121-08:00

well, now i regret reading all these bleeding heart, whiny regrets from other people

be thankful you're in the universe right now and stop regretting the past...dumbasses

I would be much more less independent and do more ...

2009-11-06T20:21:03.228-08:00

I would be much more less independent and do more things with my husband who I found out had cheated on me. We have 3 beautiful children together, a beautiful home and he just walked out on us 2 weeks ago.

I am reliving my live with him everyday and trying to see where it has gone wrong; what I could have done differently.

In the name of efficiency, we had given ourselves "department" that each of us would be in charge of - He for landscaping, and anything with an engine/electrical in it and I for furniture and anything to do with the kids.

Somehow, in this process, he must have slipped away from me. He was away a lot and it was hard on me but I didnt complain because I thought he was sacrifying for us - working hard and doing all that traveling alone to make money for us.

After discovering his cheating, and found out that he was not alone in his travel - for at least the last 1 or 2 years - I came to a realization that I was the only person in the marriage; he had disengaged from us a long long time ago; I just didnt see it.

Next year would be our 25th anniversary and our youngest would be in college - our plan all along was for me to travel with him after next year.

So what I would change is to be less dependent. It is a very hard thing for me to say because I value my independence but in this case I think it may have contribute to the inpending break up of my marriage. (BTW - I am not a bimbo or a victim- I have a degree in Engineer and made more money than him - until he traveled so much that I had to stay home with our 3 kids.)

I couldn't even tell my daugher about this yet; She is away in college. I couldnt even tell anyone in my family yet. I havent tell any of my/our friends yet. I saw him about a week ago and I dont know/recognize who he is anymore.

Thank you Enty for giving me a forum to share.

Not protecting the one person I should have protec...

2009-11-06T20:12:46.044-08:00

Not protecting the one person I should have protected with my life. I find myself in another situation 20 years later where the same people are pushing me to do something almost as life-shaking as that regret 20 years ago. They are going to get an earful when the matter comes up in a few weeks at Thanksgiving.

I regret that I didn't move to NY when I left coll...

2009-11-06T20:01:30.218-08:00

I regret that I didn't move to NY when I left college, as I'd originally planned. Things have turned out well, but that would have been an interesting adventure.