Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
It is not very often that you see Cash Warren & Jessica Alba in candid photos together. Red carpet? Sometimes, but out on the streets it is usually just Jessica or Cash alone. Well, Jessica has some new movies coming out and I guess she doesn't want to spend each interview talking about her marriage. What to do? Leave Honor at home while the happy couple get dressed up, get coffee and pose for kissing pictures for the paps.
Of course it must skeeve Jessica out a little bit to know that she could be indirectly kissing Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay has said she and Cash are just friends and business associates. Business associates? That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. What kind of business? "Army business, sir." Sorry couldn't help it. I had a Bill Murray moment there.
I never want parents to get divorced and I always root for the happy ending, but I am not sure this is going to end up that way.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Thanks to all of you who found the Lindsay Lohan Cash warren story for me. It is probably my favorite story of the week. Forget about Tiger or any of that. All week I have been trying to think of a reason why Cash Warren would ever think about making out with Lindsay Lohan. Yes, he has cheated in the past, but I haven't heard anything like that since he was married and with Lindsay? Really? How dark was this club and how wasted was he?
US Weekly described the kiss as raw. When I think of Lindsay and raw I think of disease and open sores. I know they wanted us to think it was passionate and animalistic. I'm just saying they should think about their subjects more and realize I now have spent the better part of two days wondering if there are any open sores on either of them. I mean wasn't it last year that LA Rag Mag or someone said Jessica Alba has herpes and got it from Derek Jeter. So, if she has it would it stand to reason that perhaps Cash has it also? I don't know. I do know that when I read things like this and my imagination takes over I just want to live in a full body glove.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
I saw a few stories today about how John Mayer is supposedly acting as relationship counselor to Lindsay Lohan in an attempt to help her reconcile with Samantha Ronson. That is mighty decent of John wouldn't you say? Well, it wasn't that interesting to me so I kind of blew through the reports, but while I was reading a report of it from The Mirror, I found this blurb.
"But she's not putting all of her slightly rotten eggs in one basket - according to new reports, she's also trying to ensnare Cash Warren. Yes, Jessica Alba's husband. One US mag says they've been seen kissing..."
Has anyone seen a report in a US tabloid about Cash & Lindsay? If this were true it would be by far the dumbest thing Cash Warren has ever done in his life. I know I am not always the biggest Jessica Alba fan, but she is so far and above Lindsay and I just can't see Cash ever giving up his ride on the Alba money train can you? For Lindsay? That would be the biggest bonehead move ever. Oh, except for Tiger Woods cheating on Elin with rejects from VH-1 shows. If anyone finds this US tabloid that The Mirror refers to, please let me know. Lindsay and Cash? Really?
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I realize that Josh is a nice guy and really genuine so that may be a foreign concept to you, but it is really an ass move to have a tabloid break the news to him instead of you. Oh, I'm sure you were too busy with things like counting your awards for acting and reading all your positive reviews, but next time, show that you are part human and give Josh a break. Yes, I know he actually looks like he might be Hispanic so you pretend you don't know him, but not calling to say you are married is just totally without class. On the other hand so is Cash, so it all works out in the end.
For Josh's part, he was, as always the nice guy. When asked by US, whether Cash would make a good husband, Josh replied, "Well, he's my brother in law now!" That's my Josh. Takes the high road because the d**k is now family.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Cash Warren has a long way to go before he actually possesses a dollar that didn't come from Jessica Alba's purse, but at least she is trying to help her baby daddy do something that might possibly earn some money down the road.
Cash is involved in a social networking site similar to Facebook and YouTube. Besides hitting up Jessica for money he also has been hitting up NBA players which is why he was seen with Steve Nash last week. I guess the way it works is that the NBA player gets to go on a date with Cash and Jessica. She bends over a lot and the NBA player writes a check. Show enough cleavage and you start a company called ibeatyou.com I know, I know, but I don't think it is about people actually beating other people, although that would be cool. Kind of like bumfights goes to college, but with people actually showering.
So, in order to help this project as much as she can, Jessica Alba actually cracked a smile and looks way less crankier than normal in this video she participated in for Cash. Not like he paid her cash. Just that his name is Cash. Somehow I don't think he could afford Jessica's rates without using Jessica's card to pay for it. If he did that though then she basically would be paying for herself, and for that you don't really need a guy, just a toy.
Anyway, take a look at the video.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Has Jessica Alba learned nothing from the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline debacle? Yes, I have no doubts that Jessica Alba will be a better parent than Britney Spears or Kevin Federline combined, but to get pregnant by Cash Warren is one of the most idiotic things she could have possibly done.
"Hi, I'm Jessica Alba. Yes, I let Cash get me pregnant because I think what our relationship needs to succeed is a child. I know we have our ups and downs and that we are broken up as much as we are together, but I know that a baby will solve all of that. It will bring us closer together and all of our problems and all of his cheating will just go away once that baby is born. I know it will make him grow up. Sure, I know that I will be the one waking up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby because he is out with his friends. I know I will be the one sacrificing my career since he doesn't really work anyway. Yes, I know it will be one more mouth for me to support and of course I will have to pay for the nannies, and extra help and also the larger place we will need to live in and the furniture that goes with it. But, I know it will bring us closer together.
It's true that at some point down the road we may break up, or even get married and divorced, but I will happily give him one half of everything I have and pay him support for when he has the child. I just hope it is a boy so he can use women and sponge off them and I'll even call him Cash Jr. so that way I will have cash with me forever. I hope he is just like his dad."
Friday, October 19, 2007
Now what the hell do they put in Suri's bottle? I think I read something about barley. Is there hops also because then I want some.
I want you all to remember that Jessica Biel was named the sexiest woman in the world just three years ago. Now she looks like one of the Hanson brothers.
This is a really good look for Heather Graham.
"Hey Jess. I borrowed your credit card to get this outfit for myself and while I was at it, ordered a hooker for tonight, so I'm going to need you to not come back home for awhile."
OK. So Zac Efron is now 20 and I want him to do something. Anything other than going to buy coffee. I don't care if he starts chain smoking or doing Micky Mouse up the butt, I can't just take another 20 years of him like he is now.
Rumer Willis reverts back to fug. I really thought she was making a break for it, but she is now back to square one.
Peaches Geldof learns about the new reading program sweeping the world. Hooked on Dicknics. A more advanced version of Hooked On Phonics.
Orlando Bloom decides that whole car driving thing might not be the way to get around LA.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Jenna Jameson, who is trying to become the first disappearing porn-star talked about her retirement from porn and also her breast reduction surgery. She claims she got the breasts removed because it was being true to herself. I think she got them removed because she realized there aren't too many 50 pound people with D cup breasts and they were so heavy in relation to the rest of her body they threatened to always topple her. She may have also had them removed because she had become more plastic than human. Kind of like a real life Barbie doll, but with some kind of weight loss problem and she hasn't been recalled for lead paint.
Beyonce decided to show the world that she's proud of her breasts by exposing them for all the world to see. To actually see her breasts, you are going to need some time and some very good eyesight, but if you concentrate, you can see them flopping around like a dying fish in a boat. If you could see anything I guess it would be NSFW but your boss would have to have absolutely incredible eyesight to even get a hint of nipple.
Scarlet Johannson wants to adopt. Well she needs to fill that new house she just bought with something. That's a big place for one person and her 400 pound stalker/lawyer/website author. Hopefully she didn't ask Woody Allen for any adoption advice or then she might just adopt some 18 year old boy who likes to call her mama and paints her toe nails.
Is 24 popular in Australia? I have no idea, but anyway, Janeane Garofalo, not to be confused with James Gandolfini even though they have similar looks is set to be in the new season of 24. I actually like Jeneane Garofalo and it's not just because she's getting it on with Henry Rollins or that she made a movie with Denis Leary which I actually thought was funny. I love her because of Larry. Larry Sanders that is. Anyone on that show is gold baby. Gold.