Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Vanessa Paradis In Concert

Vanessa Paradis was on French television over the weekend singing her new song. I have to tell you that if you close your eyes and just listen to the song, you can see why it is a modest hot in France. If you open your eyes and watch Vanessa display the worst stage presence of any singer in the history of mankind, you realize that she should probably just stand behind a microphone while she lip synchs, rather than wander the hippie garden looking like a lost little lamb. Like I said, the song is good, Vanessa's performance, not so much.

34 comments:

  1. This chick and britney should do a number together.

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  2. Anonymous10:13 AM

    and watch all the jealous comments because she's Johnny Depp's wife. (kidding)

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  3. The song is meh for me...I somewhat like the 80's style guitar, but the voice is weak and robotic. 5 out of 10.

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  4. It's no worse than some of our mainstream pop stuff.

    And she's not awkward. She's French. ;-)

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  5. Anonymous10:33 AM

    i think she did worst than britney only noone cares :s

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  6. Oh my God! She looks like a Stepford singer!

    On the bright side - If someone with that little personality can snag Johnny Depp, there's hope for all of us..

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  7. She's OK live, by French standards at least (meow). This wasn't live and she didn't have her band there, and the whole thing was a bit off by the looks of things. Her CD and tour have been a big hit in France. Vanessa took the kids and their papa on tour, which is pretty sweet. Someone has to mind the kiddies.

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  8. I wish she'd fix those teeth.

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  9. Why...oh, Johnny WHY????

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  10. She sounds almost exactly like she did 20 years ago when she came out with "Joe le Taxi". Not much stage presence, and no real emotion in her voice. I suppose it could have been stage fright? Meh, still, I'd rather listen to her and look at her. I too have issues with her chompers.

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  11. This is how the Euro chicks dance in clubs. They sway. They sleep walk back and forth with limp arms in the air. Honest to god, they need an injection of Sister Rhythm.

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  12. Hmm, is this:

    a) not as bad as

    b) worse than, or

    c) just as bad as

    Britney's VMA performance?

    I can't decide.

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  13. I haven't seen Vanessa in any photos with Johnny lately. Is that because she has been on tour or is Ent not posting those photos?

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  14. Anonymous11:43 AM

    Vanessa's lack of movement is so deliberate that I can't really fault her as "the worst." Now, for a flashback to some really bad moves, check out Sheena. When this came out in '88 I thought it was so damned sexy (I still like the song) -- but honestly, Sheena moves like a clucking chicken.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DD2gvBtcLU

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  15. I think it's a catchy tune. can't figure out if there was some sort of "point" to the performance though, or if she really is that bad.

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  16. Anonymous11:47 AM

    LOL@plot

    I wonder if she was to tour in the US if she would be as popular as in Europe.

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  17. After all of these years with Johnny she hasn't picked up anything from him about presence and presentation?

    I don't know how Johnny can stand those teeth of hers; they make Kirsten Dunst's pearlies looks pretty good by comparison.

    Agree with mngddess.

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  18. Around the rest of the world, a diastema (gap between the two front teeth) is considered to be a symbol of sexuality and attractiveness. North American culture tends to think it is the trendsetter of physical standards, but many other cultures don't care about emaciated, botoxed starlets with blinding veneers. Personally, I like Vanessa and I kind of found her performance to be understated and lovely. Why does everything have to be a 'big show'? The song is good, she's unconventionally gorgeous and let's face it, she sleeps with Johnny Depp.

    Leave her alone, is what I say.

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  19. Anonymous1:02 PM

    All right haters...reel it in. She has sex with Johnny Depp on a regular basis - and you don't.

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  20. Kat, I think the point about the teeth is not that they are gapped, it's that they look underdeveloped and a little more than dingy. (I'm not suggesting a ZOOM, but a couple shades would look healthier.) I'm sure she a lovely girl. I think most cultures think their way is the best, or they live the ways of another culture. And...their are many different ways of life in North America. Hollywood is a tiny place in a big country. It's not real. I think it great you like this girl, it's OK if I think she performs like she did too many bong hits backstage. Are YOU French? If you are, then that explains everything. JK. See, over here in the USA, we think the French are snobby and rude. I'm sure that's not true.

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  21. I read she makes up her own stage "moves" which is probably the problem.

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  22. kat, i didn't know that about the teeth.

    i do know european audiences are different from american audiences, so, what the hell? she was okay.

    besides, she goes home with johnny, so power to her!

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  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  24. Dear Vanessa,
    I didn't read jealous comments or see haters posting on this thread. Some people don't like your looks or your voice. That doesn't mean they are jealous. Some people don't like my looks or voice or sense of humor. They don't hate me. They are just deaf, dumb, and blind. ;) But I saw people warning about haters and jealousy. Beware of those people pretending to like you. They are secretly plotting together to throw you under a bus to get to Johnny, before the rest of us. ;D
    (Don't get upset, anyone. I'm just joking with my blogger buddies, dnfrommn and brendalove)

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  25. Anonymous4:39 PM

    I wouldn't throw her under a bus unless it was she and I standing there and the bus just happened to be coming along at that exact moment.

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  26. Wow...well, I think gap-toothed women can be cute, but her teeth are horrible! I can't believe she has never gotten them fixed...??

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  27. See, the thing is what is considered acceptable in one place is not considered so in others. She was a face for Chanel for godsake, and we know they don't go for mutants. I think we have our own way of looking at beauty, but it's a dangerous thing because essentially what we have at the moment are 'creations', not the real thing. At least she's the genuine article, and there's something gorgeous about that.

    ~gets down from soapbox~

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  28. My teeth aren't perfect. I just had a baby and I could stand to lose a few. I only dance well when I'm drunk. And then, it's only me who thinks I dance well. I was just playing. Personally, her look is not my favorite and that's OK. I think she looks like she does drugs. It may be becuse she resembles Kate Moss so much and I have never thought she was so great. But I know there are tons of people who do. But I also think botox and restylyn (sp) makes people look weird. I think Nicole Kidman looks odd and waxen. Though she can look stunning at times. I think britney and Lindsay's lips look so fake. Aside from their crazy lives and antics, they are both pretty girls, but with the injections and extensions and bleaching and dying, you don't even really know what they look like anymore. I am fascinated by the indulgence. Here I am pinching pennies, trying to pay our stupid adjustable rate mortgage (I know, it was a mistake) and pay for everything and catch up during a recession and these people carry $5,000 bags, buy $95 t-shirts (in every color) and wear $900 shoes because they have a red sole. They are paying thousands to get shots in their faces and fat moved from their asses to their cheeks. Half these people don't even seem to work. They just pose for the cameras and party. I am trying to figure it out. It can't be jealousy, though. I know this is heresy, but I don't think Johnny Depp is all that. But it is OK for me to think that. Because we live in America, the land of opportunity and freedom of speech...oh wait a minute...scratch that. It is still OK.

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  29. Hey, in the Perez comments a couple of people have explained she was basically forced to do the lipsynced performance by the radio station? that puts on the crappy awards (they honoured Britney!) or they wouldn't play her music anymore. Apparently, she usually plays guitar and sings live but she put on a mediocre performance without bothering to include a microphone purposely as a statement of... there was some french expression which basically meant "minimum effort to fulfill the contract."

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  30. it's funny to see her debut as a comparison-think her feet are nailed down !

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPFeWNy3hlo

    she is a serious french woman after all, the culture of artists is different !

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  31. LOL, Brendalove!

    I think what really bothers us is that Johnny Depp obviously likes rail thin, skinny-legged women!

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  32. The clip posted sucks compared to this video of her:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=yaOuki3G8GI

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  33. LOL Brendalove. Now all I have to do is get down to about 90lbs and arrange for you, Vanessa, and a bus to be in the same place at the same time. ;D Don't hold your breath waiting on me to drop 50 lbs.

    Kat, I understand what you are saying. Most of my work is in Europe.

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  34. I watched Girl on a Bridge when it came out on video and just made the connection. I think she's quite lovely and very accomplished. Any comparison to Ms. Spears is inaccurate. Being herself takes some self assuredness that many could learn from. Kat's comments got me started, thank you for saying it first.

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