Michael Musto Blind Items
What are you hungry for, kids? A healthy serving of blind items with a drizzle of bilberry syrup and a side order of brown couscous? You want a heaping plate of those unnervingly suggestive tidbits about various notables' unscrupulous doings, whereby I leave out the names so you're left to skank around every Internet watercooler there is and frantically try to dredge up the answers? OK, darlings, I'll let the anonymous good times rip just to give you some electrifying bonding time with your equally sleaze-minded cohorts. But since so many of you bother me like the dickens for the answers to Page Six's blindies all the time, why don't you just fucking call them for mine. Here goes:
Who once generously gave a gentleman something during a charity event for an organization in his late mother's name? (What he gave, actually, was a blowjob in the bathroom. Ma would have been so proud.) What couple almost split up during the making of that movie because she was on fire with jealousy that he got to show his actual talent? (No worries. It totally bombed.) What fabulous trannie swears she cut it off, but it's still there, dangling between her legs like a pendulum? Which young Broadway leading lady has for several years fallen in love with every guy who plays opposite her, even though—or maybe because—it's always a gay? Which top anchor is a bottom? Which pop star is a top? (Or so goes the legend; actually, he and one of his hot boyfriends switched positions and loved it.) Which same star did it with that married but gay male socialite? Which female politician once slept with a rabbi's sister, according to an American Idol personality who's a friend of the rabbi? Which top fashion writer disdainfully refers to a colleague of his as "Cavewoman"? What publicist introduced someone around as a boyfriend, only to have that someone lean into the ear of one of the people he'd met and mutter: "This guy is the foulest, most name-dropping asshole alive!" Any arguments?
What male comeback star (in movies and mostly TV) is known as a completely cold, unpleasant fish to work with, though he can certainly turn on the charm when he needs to? Which charismatic pit bull is described by some who've worked with her as a monster off-camera as well, someone who took her assigned role a little too seriously and became quite power-mad in the head? What lovable showbiz relic is so needy that if you show her a little kindness, she'll start calling you at two in the morning for lengthy chats every night for months? What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she's a big old lesbo? What drag queen with a record (meaning criminal, not long-playing) was spotted at a magazine bash, shoveling crudités into her bag and explaining, "A girl's gotta eat!"? Yeah, but that much? What transforming young movie star already seemed problematic last year when, in the middle of a press junket, he would snap at underlings, "Where's my cigarette?" then would rudely bolt for a puffing break when he got one?
Which pasty-white club mess (with his friends) blithely walked out on a check at Beige (after insanely trying to get me to pay it) and was thrown out of Hiro for choking his boyfriend, the same week he was featured in New York magazine's Look Book? What same guy became the subject of restraining tactics by a stylist when he kept using the stylist's name to get free clothes long after he ceased working for him? (Oh, did I mention he's also a thief?) Which modeling dynasty scion left her dog at a spa and never bothered to pick it up? (They didn't really mind. She paid for it to be there.) Which reality star can be seen being fisted by an admirer in a kooky video that's making the underground rounds? Should we give him a hand? Which movie star who seems so brooding and enigmatic actually doesn't speak much because he doesn't have much to say, swears an insider? What model he was once aligned with also maintains much glamour and mystery by keeping her dumb trap shut (except to open it for drugs)?
Which legendary black singer was spotted at a store, where she was screaming into her cell phone, "Doesn't anyone read in your office? Don't you understand English? I told you to arrange that flight!"? Was it perhaps a flight on a broomstick? Which beloved Broadway diva was supposedly the girlfriend of grande dame Judith Anderson all those diva years ago? What ex-Times critic looks back on his gig there as a poisonous time filled with backstabbing and one-upmanship? How can I get a job there? What comic in his sixties concerned onlookers when his speech at a roast last year was punctuated with loud snorts and grandiose nose-wiping? Which black funny lady admits she can't even hit the stage without being tanked, skanked, and totally blotto? Which porn star has no detectable accent when he answers his cell phone, but then seems to remember to lay one on once he realizes who you are? Which '70s star ingeniously turned a recent memorial service into a giant photo op for himself? Which swiveling tartlet's people brutally Tasered a young fan who simply wanted to tell her he loves her? At this point, shouldn't they Taser all the people who don't care? What female politico's daughter looked so bulimic at her wedding that friends considered staging an intervention? What cute, young guy, who's Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie's anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out? Jealous?
Which seemingly passive half of that design duo can actually be a tempestuous spitfire? (He threw a drink at a Barracuda patron, whose friend chased him out the door, hoping for a showdown.) Which club regular is rumored to dabble in dominatrix work and is so successful at it that she got $1,100 from a guy just to shave one armpit? Shouldn't there be some kind of buy-one-get-one-free deal? What African-American young man who works for a repetitively named design firm (or says he does) trolls around gay parlors trying to drum up some johns? Which CBS personality sits in his car telling passersby that he's doing so to watch Katie Couric on the news, but it's actually to stall until 7 p.m., when his parking there can become legal? Which portrait artist's dog sadly spent two days in the hospital after ingesting cocaine (someone else's, mind you)? Are any of you miscreants muttering, "What a waste of good cocaine"?
Which exotic, young hotshot designer has been supposedly doing it with that black rapper with many children? Which cute-as-a-button Broadway performer who's gone from leads to supporting roles is actually straight? (No, I'm serious. There's one Broadway male who really is a hetero, and this guy is it.) Which other always-working Broadway type continually talks about a hot girlfriend who never materializes, for obvious reasons? Which good-looking writer of exposé books has a sexually adventurous side himself? Which hotel just underwent some firings because staffers admitted a 16-year-old model to the in-house club and she ended up so intoxicated she capped off her night reclining in an ambulance?
Your welcome.
ReplyDeleteWoah.
ReplyDeleted-a-m-n.
ReplyDeleteThis might be better directed to the forum. Seriously, there's a ton here.
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm full!
ReplyDeleteNycer - LOL! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteDN - some of us aren't members of the forum.
"Which top anchor is a bottom?"
ReplyDeleteCooper Anderson.
THAT'S. A. LOT.
ReplyDeleteI am dizzy!
ReplyDelete*belch*
ReplyDeleteI'm full-up, thanks.
Whoa, spoiler OD. My head is spinning. That was some good stuff.
ReplyDeleteWhen do we get the reveals, EL?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteUmmm, britney spears... :0!
ReplyDeletetwisted no problem. We've been laughing for a couple of days now. I know that every permutation of reality star & f***ing and young hollywood royalty has been googled by alot of people in NYC but I haven't heard who they could be yet. The cocaine artist probably is Eneas Capalbo, does the celebutante scene. Jlo & Marc A for the jealous film stars. Boy George for stuffing her purse.
ReplyDeletewho is Michael Musto?
ReplyDeleteyeah, i'm gonna skip this mess. peeing in trannie's anus?.....let's see who gets that one.
ReplyDeleteThat is almost TOO many BIs! Almost no way I could correctly guess about 80% of those as well haha
ReplyDeleteSweet Jebus - MY EYES...MY EYES!!! I say Britney
ReplyDeleteParis
Ben Affleck
JLo
Pam Anderson
heehee!! aren't they all?
Michael Musto refers to himself as the original gossip columnist, and the first celebrity to be "out". (I'm paraphrasing, so don't yell at me). He wears goofy glasses, and always is a commenter on the VH1 best of shows.
ReplyDelete1. Who once generously gave a gentleman something during a charity event for an organization in his late mother's name? (What he gave, actually, was a blowjob in the bathroom. Ma would have been so proud.) What couple almost split up during the making of that movie because she was on fire with jealousy that he got to show his actual talent? (No worries. It totally bombed.)
ReplyDelete2.What fabulous trannie swears she cut it off, but it's still there, dangling between her legs like a pendulum?
3. Which young Broadway leading lady has for several years fallen in love with every guy who plays opposite her, even though—or maybe because—it's always a gay?
4.Which top anchor is a bottom?
5. Which pop star is a top? (Or so goes the legend; actually, he and one of his hot boyfriends switched positions and loved it.)
6. Which same star did it with that married but gay male socialite?
7.Which female politician once slept with a rabbi's sister, according to an American Idol personality who's a friend of the rabbi?
8. Which top fashion writer disdainfully refers to a colleague of his as "Cavewoman"?
9. What publicist introduced someone around as a boyfriend, only to have that someone lean into the ear of one of the people he'd met and mutter: "This guy is the foulest, most name-dropping asshole alive!" Any arguments?
10. What male comeback star (in movies and mostly TV) is known as a completely cold, unpleasant fish to work with, though he can certainly turn on the charm when he needs to?
11.Which charismatic pit bull is described by some who've worked with her as a monster off-camera as well, someone who took her assigned role a little too seriously and became quite power-mad in the head?
12. What lovable showbiz relic is so needy that if you show her a little kindness, she'll start calling you at two in the morning for lengthy chats every night for months?
13 What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she's a big old lesbo?
14. What drag queen with a record (meaning criminal, not long-playing) was spotted at a magazine bash, shoveling crudités into her bag and explaining, "A girl's gotta eat!"? Yeah, but that much? 15. What transforming young movie star already seemed problematic last year when, in the middle of a press junket, he would snap at underlings, "Where's my cigarette?" then would rudely bolt for a puffing break when he got one?
16.Which pasty-white club mess (with his friends) blithely walked out on a check at Beige (after insanely trying to get me to pay it) and was thrown out of Hiro for choking his boyfriend, the same week he was featured in New York magazine's Look Book? What same guy became the subject of restraining tactics by a stylist when he kept using the stylist's name to get free clothes long after he ceased working for him? (Oh, did I mention he's also a thief?)
17. Which modeling dynasty scion left her dog at a spa and never bothered to pick it up? (They didn't really mind. She paid for it to be there.)
18. Which reality star can be seen being fisted by an admirer in a kooky video that's making the underground rounds? Should we give him a hand?
19. Which movie star who seems so brooding and enigmatic actually doesn't speak much because he doesn't have much to say, swears an insider?
20. What model he was once aligned with also maintains much glamour and mystery by keeping her dumb trap shut (except to open it for drugs)?
21. Which legendary black singer was spotted at a store, where she was screaming into her cell phone, "Doesn't anyone read in your office? Don't you understand English? I told you to arrange that flight!"? Was it perhaps a flight on a broomstick?
22.Which beloved Broadway diva was supposedly the girlfriend of grande dame Judith Anderson all those diva years ago?
23.What ex-Times critic looks back on his gig there as a poisonous time filled with backstabbing and one-upmanship? How can I get a job there?
24.What comic in his sixties concerned onlookers when his speech at a roast last year was punctuated with loud snorts and grandiose nose-wiping?
25.Which black funny lady admits she can't even hit the stage without being tanked, skanked, and totally blotto?
26.Which porn star has no detectable accent when he answers his cell phone, but then seems to remember to lay one on once he realizes who you are?
27.Which '70s star ingeniously turned a recent memorial service into a giant photo op for himself? 28. Which swiveling tartlet's people brutally Tasered a young fan who simply wanted to tell her he loves her? At this point, shouldn't they Taser all the people who don't care?
29.What female politico's daughter looked so bulimic at her wedding that friends considered staging an intervention?
30.What cute, young guy, who's Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie's anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out? Jealous?
31. Which seemingly passive half of that design duo can actually be a tempestuous spitfire? (He threw a drink at a Barracuda patron, whose friend chased him out the door, hoping for a showdown.)
32. Which club regular is rumored to dabble in dominatrix work and is so successful at it that she got $1,100 from a guy just to shave one armpit? Shouldn't there be some kind of buy-one-get-one-free deal?
33. What African-American young man who works for a repetitively named design firm (or says he does) trolls around gay parlors trying to drum up some johns?
34.Which CBS personality sits in his car telling passersby that he's doing so to watch Katie Couric on the news, but it's actually to stall until 7 p.m., when his parking there can become legal?
35.Which portrait artist's dog sadly spent two days in the hospital after ingesting cocaine (someone else's, mind you)? Are any of you miscreants muttering, "What a waste of good cocaine"?
36.Which exotic, young hotshot designer has been supposedly doing it with that black rapper with many children?
37.Which cute-as-a-button Broadway performer who's gone from leads to supporting roles is actually straight? (No, I'm serious. There's one Broadway male who really is a hetero, and this guy is it.)
38. Which other always-working Broadway type continually talks about a hot girlfriend who never materializes, for obvious reasons? Which good-looking writer of exposé books has a sexually adventurous side himself?
39. Which hotel just underwent some firings because staffers admitted a 16-year-old model to the in-house club and she ended up so intoxicated she capped off her night reclining in an ambulance?
Britney was the overwhelming guess for the tasered fan because not only is she exorcist crazy but she behaved really truly badly when in NYC clubs, hotels a while back.
ReplyDeleteWhich female politician once slept with a rabbi's sister, according to an American Idol personality who's a friend of the rabbi?
ReplyDeleteHilary Clinton ?
Who once generously gave a gentleman something during a charity event for an organization in his late mother's name? (What he gave, actually, was a blowjob in the bathroom. Ma would have been so proud.)
JFK jr. ?
Musto has been writing for the Voice for as long as I can remember. It's been the downtown alternative paper forever, before downtown got discovered and over priced by the BTC . The personal ads are infamous. It's a weekly. Lots of politics.
ReplyDeleteWhich charismatic pit bull is described by some who've worked with her as a monster off-camera as well, someone who took her assigned role a little too seriously and became quite power-mad in the head?
ReplyDeleteMeryl Streep (Devil Wears Prada)? Just a guess!
Holy crap. I might cancel my weekend appointments *LOL*.
ReplyDeletesallymde, you must be bored and have some extra time on your hands. LOL
ReplyDeleteAlthough my britney guess was just a joke (see irishstayc's comment) I'm sure she is the answer to at least one of them.
Geez! talk about overload!!!!
transforming young star with the cigarette - gotta be shia
ReplyDeleteCalifblondy, I don't think Michael Musto does reveals.
ReplyDeletelove it .. thank you ent .. now when theres nothing to read here, i know just where to go ... does he ever do reveals? Or are we left to our imaginations ..which sometimes is scarier that the actual reveal!!
ReplyDeleteOh! Thanks for the resonses. I googled MM, now I recognize him.
ReplyDeleteMonster off camera? Jane Fonda?
ReplyDelete411 OVERLOAD!!!!! Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteTrue Dat
ReplyDelete2.What fabulous trannie swears she cut it off, but it's still there, dangling between her legs like a pendulum?
Alexis Arquette??
5. Which pop star is a top? (Or so goes the legend; actually, he and one of his hot boyfriends switched positions and loved it.)
Ricky Martin
12. What lovable showbiz relic is so needy that if you show her a little kindness, she'll start calling you at two in the morning for lengthy chats every night for months?
Elizabeth Taylor
13 What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she's a big old lesbo?
Celine Dion
15. What transforming young movie star already seemed problematic last year when, in the middle of a press junket, he would snap at underlings, "Where's my cigarette?" then would rudely bolt for a puffing break when he got one?
Shia Lebouf (spellinG)
Exhausting
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteQ. What female politico's daughter looked so bulimic at her wedding that friends considered staging an intervention?
ReplyDeleteA. Nancy Pelosi's daughter just got married.
Q. What cute, young guy, who's Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie's anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out? Jealous?
A. Sean Stewart?
Q. What transforming young movie star already seemed problematic last year when, in the middle of a press junket, he would snap at underlings, "Where's my cigarette?" then would rudely bolt for a puffing break when he got one?
A. Shia LaBeouf
Q. Which black funny lady admits she can't even hit the stage without being tanked, skanked, and totally blotto?
A. Wanda Sykes?
Okay, those are my guesses.
greaaat...cut n paste the whole section so that it takes 10 mins to scroll. annoying.
ReplyDeleteand you
Great make pointless posts that take up more space brilliant.
is that a f*ckin haiku?
ReplyDeleteim sick and feelin bitchy.
deleted it.
get over it.
Sallymde and Surfer, great guesses.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about Sean Stewart though. I wouldn't call him cute.
Would Sean Stewart be Rock n Roll legacy- not Hollywood legacy? Although I have no better guesses!
ReplyDeleteWow...hope we'll have reveals at some point!
ReplyDeleteLMAO @ jax!
ReplyDeleteHave no clue who you're talking to Jax, but no, you'd have to add another syllable in the last two lines for it to be a haiku. (7-5-5 or some combination thereof)
ReplyDeleteSorry you're sick.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletejax is f*ckin a*ss
ReplyDeletewho can't write a d*mn Haiku
but can complain well
good god. my head just exploded.
ReplyDeleteLOL twisted, and thanks. I just figured Sean is known to be such an a*s, it seemed like something he might do. And like pariss said, he's probably more rock'n roll royalty than hollywood.
ReplyDeleteAnd the "legendary black singer" screaming into her cell phone I thought might be Diana Ross. After all, they don't call her a diva for no reason.
Yes, I admit it I've been to the Rosie O'Donnell School of poetry.
ReplyDeletei posted something then realized it sounded uber bitchy an deleted it. ( a first)
ReplyDeletewasn't trying to write a haiku anon,but thanks for your undying suport. my love for you grows with every comment you make.
*kisses
Wow, another helpful gem from anon, who can only seem to show up when its time to complain about someone complaining.
ReplyDeleteWhich seemingly passive half of that design duo can actually be a tempestuous spitfire? (He threw a drink at a Barracuda patron, whose friend chased him out the door, hoping for a showdown.)
ReplyDeleteDolce and Gabbana?
and trix- you give me so many oppurtunities
ReplyDeleteYou mean opportunities? Funny you dont realize how stupid you look, only popping in to complain about other peoples' complaining. And then you dont have any good material for comebacks either, pointing out the obvious and hoping that it stings. (Psssst: it doesnt.)
ReplyDeleteThe tranny who still has her dick? Maybe Amanda Lepore?
Which exotic, young hotshot designer has been supposedly doing it with that black rapper with many children?
ReplyDeleteChristian from Project Runway?! (I couldn't resist!)
Which movie star who seems so brooding and enigmatic actually doesn't speak much because he doesn't have much to say, swears an insider? What model he was once aligned with also maintains much glamour and mystery by keeping her dumb trap shut (except to open it for drugs)?
ReplyDeleteSorry gals...Johnny Depp and Kate Moss.
snautrag
ReplyDeleteI like the Depp/Moss guess.
What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she's a big old lesbo?
ReplyDeleteI say Avril.
Show business in a nutshell.
ReplyDeleteI dont like the Depp guess, because you can tell from his interviews (not to mention his performances) that he's intelligent.
ReplyDeleteparisss - christian is SO gay and SO talented he actually scares me.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhich movie star who seems so brooding and enigmatic actually doesn't speak much because he doesn't have much to say, swears an insider? What model he was once aligned with also maintains much glamour and mystery by keeping her dumb trap shut (except to open it for drugs)?
ReplyDeleteI'd say DiCaprio and Gisele, since it says "once aligned"
For the heartwarming experience of weeing into a trannie's anus (yuck yuck yuck) - isn't Leo rumored to be into this sort of thing? I am sure I have read that somewhere - and he is certainly young and cute.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletecap- he's FIERCE!!!!
ReplyDeleteTed Casablancas really is contagious, isn't he?
ReplyDelete36.Which exotic, young hotshot designer has been supposedly doing it with that black rapper with many children?
ReplyDelete-zac posen and diidy used to hang out so much,they said it was becauise they were working on a joint product line. that was a few yrs ago, no product line as of yet, lol
DN, what is this "forum" of which you speak?
ReplyDeletekissannie I thought it meant the offspring of hollywood bigs. I think Musto would've said actor. I still have no clue though Jenner was in NYC recently I think. For the brooding actor/model maybe DeNiro/Naomi C. The black diva just had me thinking Whitney. Maybe Mark Badgley of BadgleyMischka for fireball designer.
ReplyDeleteI hate to guess this- but what about Michelle Branch for the young songstress with much older spouse? She's in the Random Photos today, and I love her- but her hubby is much older...
ReplyDeleteWhich seemingly passive half of that design duo can actually be a tempestuous spitfire? (He threw a drink at a Barracuda patron, whose friend chased him out the door, hoping for a showdown.)
ReplyDeleteHeatherette's Richie Rich or Trever Rains... but which would be considered seemingly passive? (Yes, another Project Runway reference)
also kat mcfee for the much younger songstress.
ReplyDeleteon a side note, ent just mentioned that tate donovan is back on the market. is he recently divorced. could he be the guy that know one cares whtether or not whose gay, who may or may not go on DWTS??
Check out the random photo of my personal guess Celine Dion, I'd be scared. dc196 I think Diddy financed Posen's company & that gave P cred in the fashion world. I guess you can take it as an 'exotic' (buzzword for ethnic)designer or someone who has exotic designs.
ReplyDeleteWhich good-looking writer of exposé books has a sexually adventurous side himself?
ReplyDeleteIs Andrew Morton considered "good looking"?
I think the legendary black singer yelling into her cellphone is Patti LaBitch.
ReplyDeleteparisss great guess since the barracuda is defintiely their scene. Traver Rains. twisted whitney is def a straight up bitch, didn't know that about Labelle. Although Ross was a good guess too.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletemooshki - the "forum" DN is referring to is probably the CDAN message boards, which you can find on the lower right-hand side if you scroll down.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought...
Which good-looking writer of exposé books has a sexually adventurous side himself?
How about J. Randy Taraborrelli - he's written tons of biographies
nycer, yep, that is probably what he meant - on first read I was just thinking Hollywood hot stuff -but offspring is much more likely!
ReplyDeleteMe head has imploded and blood is seeping out of my ears. Anyone have a Q-tip?
ReplyDeleteTate Donovan was on DAMAGES this past summer with Glenn Close on FX. It has been picked up for a second season, so he definitely has a career.
ReplyDelete#3 the Broadway lead who falls for the gays?
ReplyDeleteSutton Foster.
About the portrait artist's poor little dog? I have no clue who he is, but if it were MY dog, I would shave off Lindsay's eyebrows....
ReplyDeleteAnd I think:
ReplyDeleteEnigmatic movie star who shuts up because he's totally stupid? Keanu. Model he was hooked up with who does the same, except to cram drugs down her craw? Carrie-Ann Moss
Dang. Tons of items here...entertainment for days!
ReplyDeleteI love Michael Musto though, he is so fab!
Brooding star w/ naught to say--Joaquim Phoenix?
ReplyDeleteDominatrix club gal--Rumer Willis?
Star of mostly tv, some movies, who's an asswipe unless he wants something--Rob Lowe?
Dear god, could Matthew Broderick actually be straight???
Backstabbed ex-Times critic: Elvis Mitchell
ReplyDeleteDrunk Funny Lady: Monique
Swiveling Tartlet's Fan Tasered: Britney?
Club regular armpit-shaving dominatrix: Leigh Lezark?
jealous movie couple- JLo & Marc
ReplyDeletemale comeback star - Patrick Dempsey
charismatic pitbull - Nancy Grace.
showbiz relic - Liz Taylor
brooding movie star & model - Johnny & Kate. Whether it is true or not, I get the feeling this is aimed at Johnny & Kate.
beloved broadway diva - Julie Andrews, Elaine Stritch or Bernadette Peters
black funny lady - Monique, Wanda Sykes
70's star memorial photo op - Danny Bonaduce?
bulimic daughter - Chelsea Clinton
club regular dominatrix - Bai Ling
CBS personality - David Letterman
good looking expose writer - Andrew Morton
THE SUCKNO REVEALS:
ReplyDeleteWho once generously gave a gentleman something during a charity event for an organization in his late mother's name? (What he gave, actually, was a blowjob in the bathroom. Ma would have been so proud.) JFK Jr
What couple almost split up during the making of that movie because she was on fire with jealousy that he got to show his actual talent? (No worries. It totally bombed.) Marc Anthony & Jennifer Lopez
What fabulous trannie swears she cut it off, but it's still there, dangling between her legs like a pendulum? RuPaul
Which young Broadway leading lady has for several years fallen in love with every guy who plays opposite her, even though—or maybe because—it's always a gay?
Which top anchor is a bottom? Anderson Cooper
Which pop star is a top? (Or so goes the legend; actually, he and one of his hot boyfriends switched positions and loved it.) Ricky Martin
Which same star did it with that married but gay male socialite?
Which female politician once slept with a rabbi's sister, according to an American Idol personality who's a friend of the rabbi? Hillary Clinton
Which top fashion writer disdainfully refers to a colleague of his as "Cavewoman"?
What publicist introduced someone around as a boyfriend, only to have that someone lean into the ear of one of the people he'd met and mutter: "This guy is the foulest, most name-dropping asshole alive!" Any arguments?
What male comeback star (in movies and mostly TV) is known as a completely cold, unpleasant fish to work with, though he can certainly turn on the charm when he needs to? Patrick Dempsey
Which charismatic pit bull is described by some who've worked with her as a monster off-camera as well, someone who took her assigned role a little too seriously and became quite power-mad in the head? Nancy Grace
What lovable showbiz relic is so needy that if you show her a little kindness, she'll start calling you at two in the morning for lengthy chats every night for months? Elizabeth Taylor
What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she's a big old lesbo? Avril
What drag queen with a record (meaning criminal, not long-playing) was spotted at a magazine bash, shoveling crudités into her bag and explaining, "A girl's gotta eat!"? Yeah, but that much? Boy George
What transforming young movie star already seemed problematic last year when, in the middle of a press junket, he would snap at underlings, "Where's my cigarette?" then would rudely bolt for a puffing break when he got one? Shia LeBoeuf
Which pasty-white club mess (with his friends) blithely walked out on a check at Beige (after insanely trying to get me to pay it) and was thrown out of Hiro for choking his boyfriend, the same week he was featured in New York magazine's Look Book? Richie Rich
What same guy became the subject of restraining tactics by a stylist when he kept using the stylist's name to get free clothes long after he ceased working for him? (Oh, did I mention he's also a thief?)
Which modeling dynasty scion left her dog at a spa and never bothered to pick it up? (They didn't really mind. She paid for it to be there.) Patti Hansen
Which reality star can be seen being fisted by an admirer in a kooky video that's making the underground rounds? Should we give him a hand? Richard Hatch
Which movie star who seems so brooding and enigmatic actually doesn't speak much because he doesn't have much to say, swears an insider? Keanu Reeves
What model he was once aligned with also maintains much glamour and mystery by keeping her dumb trap shut (except to open it for drugs)? Carrie Ann Moss
Which legendary black singer was spotted at a store, where she was screaming into her cell phone, "Doesn't anyone read in your office? Don't you understand English? I told you to arrange that flight!"? Was it perhaps a flight on a broomstick? Aretha
Which beloved Broadway diva was supposedly the girlfriend of grande dame Judith Anderson all those diva years ago? Julie Andrews
What ex-Times critic looks back on his gig there as a poisonous time filled with backstabbing and one-upmanship? How can I get a job there? Elvis Mitchell
What comic in his sixties concerned onlookers when his speech at a roast last year was punctuated with loud snorts and grandiose nose-wiping? Robin Williams
Which black funny lady admits she can't even hit the stage without being tanked, skanked, and totally blotto? Whoopie Goldberg
Which porn star has no detectable accent when he answers his cell phone, but then seems to remember to lay one on once he realizes who you are?
Which '70s star ingeniously turned a recent memorial service into a giant photo op for himself? Danny Bonaduce
Which swiveling tartlet's people brutally Tasered a young fan who simply wanted to tell her he loves her? At this point, shouldn't they Taser all the people who don't care? Shittany Spears
What female politico's daughter looked so bulimic at her wedding that friends considered staging an intervention? Chelsea Clinton
What cute, young guy, who's Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie's anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out? Jealous? Cameron Douglas
Which seemingly passive half of that design duo can actually be a tempestuous spitfire? (He threw a drink at a Barracuda patron, whose friend chased him out the door, hoping for a showdown.) Ritchie Rich
Which club regular is rumored to dabble in dominatrix work and is so successful at it that she got $1,100 from a guy just to shave one armpit? Shouldn't there be some kind of buy-one-get-one-free deal? Bai Ling
What African-American young man who works for a repetitively named design firm (or says he does) trolls around gay parlors trying to drum up some johns?
Which CBS personality sits in his car telling passersby that he's doing so to watch Katie Couric on the news, but it's actually to stall until 7 p.m., when his parking there can become legal? David Letterman
Which portrait artist's dog sadly spent two days in the hospital after ingesting cocaine (someone else's, mind you)? Are any of you miscreants muttering, "What a waste of good cocaine"? Julian Schnabel
Which exotic, young hotshot designer has been supposedly doing it with that black rapper with many children? Zac Posen and dP Diddy
Which cute-as-a-button Broadway performer who's gone from leads to supporting roles is actually straight? (No, I'm serious. There's one Broadway male who really is a hetero, and this guy is it.)
Which other always-working Broadway type continually talks about a hot girlfriend who never materializes, for obvious reasons?
Which good-looking writer of exposé books has a sexually adventurous side himself? Andrew Morton
Which hotel just underwent some firings because staffers admitted a 16-year-old model to the in-house club and she ended up so intoxicated she capped off her night reclining in an ambulance? Morgans
Fashion writer is Andre Leon Talley and 'Cavewoman' is Anna Wintour? If not it should be.
ReplyDeletelovable showbiz relic? i thought liza.
ReplyDeleteand i'm glad i'm not the only one with a spinning head. i thought it was the new ambien!!
and, help me hamster, i know we're supposed to ignore it, but richard hatch for the fistee just cracked me up!!
lessuckno - two things.
ReplyDelete1) The answer to "What female politico's daughter looked so bulimic at her wedding that friends considered staging an intervention?" can't be Chelsea Clinton, as she's not married. See my earlier post.
2) And the answer to "Which modeling dynasty scion left her dog at a spa and never bothered to pick it up? (They didn't really mind. She paid for it to be there.)" can't be Patti Hansen (Keith Richard's wife) - it's probably Katie Ford of Ford Models. - the clue is modeling dynasty scion.
Otherwise, you had some good answers.
surfer you're right about it not being Chelsea. Musto did do a blind years ago about Chelsea's paternity though. #2 you're also right. There are Ford grand daughters too w/ Uma's ex boyfriend. I just can't get over a somewhat coherent sucko post.
ReplyDeleteThe songstress lesbo could also be Pink.
ReplyDeleteBet the straight Broadway star is Matt Broderick - shocking.
Yes, Chelsea's not married. Agree w/ Talley and Wintour, too.
Can't even remember my other guesses, but think Suckno has most of them summarized well. RuPaul was a great guess.
Sixty something comic is Richard Belzer. I loved his old standup, he was killer. Thought he'd cleaned up but here's the article:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.observer.com/2007/richard-belzer-sniffles
Richard Belzer, it’s great to see your success has parlayed into you still being able to afford an eight-ball before the Roast!” Hearing this, the actor pretended to do a line of cocaine off the table in front of him while the audience erupted into hysterics.
Thanks nycer - this is more fun than I thought. Also, great guess about Richard Belzer - I love him.
ReplyDeletePhew!!!! That was a lot of one line sentences of blinds.
ReplyDeleteExhausted just reading that.
What couple almost split up during the making of that movie because she was on fire with jealousy that he got to show his actual talent? (No worries. It totally bombed.)
ReplyDeleteSkeletor and J-Lo.
What fabulous trannie swears she cut it off, but it's still there, dangling between her legs like a pendulum?
Alexis Arquette.
Which pop star is a top? (Or so goes the legend; actually, he and one of his hot boyfriends switched positions and loved it.)
Lance Bass, if he’s really a pop star still?
What male comeback star (in movies and mostly TV) is known as a completely cold, unpleasant fish to work with, though he can certainly turn on the charm when he needs to?
Patrick Dempsey.
Which charismatic pit bull is described by some who've worked with her as a monster off-camera as well, someone who took her assigned role a little too seriously and became quite power-mad in the head?
Reese Witherspoon?
Oprah?
Meryl Streep?
How old are these BIs?
What lovable showbiz relic is so needy that if you show her a little kindness, she'll start calling you at two in the morning for lengthy chats every night for months?
Raquel Welch?
Rue McClanahan?
Betty White?
Bea Arthur?
Carol Channing?
What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she's a big old lesbo?
Pink, hence the d-i-v-o-r-c-e.
What transforming young movie star already seemed problematic last year when, in the middle of a press junket, he would snap at underlings, "Where's my cigarette?" then would rudely bolt for a puffing break when he got one?
Shia LaBeouf: Transformers.
Which modeling dynasty scion left her dog at a spa and never bothered to pick it up? (They didn't really mind. She paid for it to be there.)
Janice Dickinson?
Which movie star who seems so brooding and enigmatic actually doesn't speak much because he doesn't have much to say, swears an insider?
Can this be any more vague?
Which legendary black singer was spotted at a store, where she was screaming into her cell phone, "Doesn't anyone read in your office? Don't you understand English? I told you to arrange that flight!"? Was it perhaps a flight on a broomstick?
Diana Ross
What comic in his sixties concerned onlookers when his speech at a roast last year was punctuated with loud snorts and grandiose nose-wiping?
George Carlin?
Steve Martin?
Lewis Black isn't old enough and I've never noticed any nose wiping, but he def. snorts a lot!
Which black funny lady admits she can't even hit the stage without being tanked, skanked, and totally blotto?
Mo’Nique?
Which swiveling tartlet's people brutally Tasered a young fan who simply wanted to tell her he loves her? At this point, shouldn't they Taser all the people who don't care?
Britney’s old captives?
Lindsay’s peeps?
What cute, young guy, who's Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie's anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out? Jealous?
Cameron Douglas?
What female politico's daughter looked so bulimic at her wedding that friends considered staging an intervention?
Chelsea Clinton isn't married yet.
Alexandra Pelosi? (IF this item is three years old anyway).
Which CBS personality sits in his car telling passersby that he's doing so to watch Katie Couric on the news, but it's actually to stall until 7 p.m., when his parking there can become legal?
Who cares? I mean, a blind item about parking spots? Can we get more boring that that?
Pop star bottom who did it with the married socialite...JT and Fabian Basabe?
ReplyDeleteI love the RuPaul guess. I first thought Liz for the needy legend, but now I'm on the Liza train.
Great guesses all around.
The younger songstress isn't Pink... she's not much younger than him.
ReplyDeleteI think it's Katherine McPhee
Comeback star is totally David Duchovny!
ReplyDeleteMy posts are always coherent. They're just not what you care to read much of the time.
ReplyDelete'70s star turning memorial service into photo-op: Jack Nicholson talking about how he 'warned' Heath Ledger to a photographer, then bringing it up again at the 'Bucket List' premiere ?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,325208,00.html
Or is it something with Suzanne Pleshette? Can't be Bob Newhart.
Surfer - thanks! How could I never have noticed that before? It must be my short attention span. :)
ReplyDeleteMarnie - I thought Bob Newhart too. He was on a lot of those entertainment shows right before she died and then there was footage of him talking outside of her funeral.
ReplyDeleteAlso - just my two cents - I don't think it's David Letteman - I'm pretty sure he talks about having a driver - but, yawn, who cares and maybe I'm wrong anyway.
http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/archives/2008/02/mo_better_blind.php
ReplyDeleteMo' Better Blind Items!
Posted by Michael Musto at 12:00 PM, February 20, 2008
My current column of salacious blind items is causing such an international sensation that people who can't figure out the answers are leaping off tall buildings without even having done their hair. Well, I'm loving the ego boost, so I've drummed up a handful of other blindies—ones not in the column—to add to your unrelieved mental torment:
Which aged TV-theater diva has apparently gone lesbo? Which Best Actress nominee is rumored to be one too? What actor/rocker calls his dick Lucifer and more importantly is a big wee-wee himself? Which hot female singer's facial surgery photographs so weirdly that sometimes entire photo shoots come up empty? What 19-year-old TV star is an attitudey c-word? Where's the next open bar? And finally, is it true that BoysRoom already expired at its new location, Rapture Cafe, and that the cafe itself might be struggling to stay alive? Please say nooooo!
Hot female singer must be Fergie.
Snucks says -
ReplyDelete"Which portrait artist's dog sadly spent two days in the hospital after ingesting cocaine (someone else's, mind you)? Are any of you miscreants muttering, "What a waste of good cocaine"? Julian Schnabel
Julian Schnabel doesn't do portraits, and rarely paints anymore (if paintings are what you'd call his crockery crocks.)
Chuck Close does portraits, but he's probably too grateful to be alive to indulge in coke.
Lucien Freud?
Which CBS personality sits in his car telling passersby that he's doing so to watch Katie Couric on the news, but it's actually to stall until 7 p.m., when his parking there can become legal? David Letterman
Letterman could get his driver to sit there.
Who once generously gave a gentleman something during a charity event for an organization in his late mother's name? (What he gave, actually, was a blowjob in the bathroom. Ma would have been so proud.) JFK Jr
All the charities in that family are in JFK Sr's name. Jackie's name isn't used.
Brooke Astor's son? He must be ancient, and in jail.
Ahem! My pitiful two-cents worth:
ReplyDeleteThe legendary diva screaming into a cell phone about booking a flight is NOT Aretha.
Miss Franklin has a phobia against flying and hasn't flown in years. She prefers the safety of a luxurious bus, or even train travel.
plot - I wrote earlier that 'The cocaine artist probably is Eneas Capalbo, does the celebutante scene.' He's a well known partier on the club & chi chi celebutante money scene, literally did some pieces called Cocaine Paintings and many portraits of the famous and just rich. Most all party.
ReplyDeleteThe porn star with the disappearing accent? I'd guess Michael Lucas.
ReplyDeleteActually, Liza always married gay men...
ReplyDeleteletterman is in the stidio taping in the early evenings. it would have to be someone that is on live at night. letterman tapes and is over in the exact window when he would need to be loitering.
ReplyDeleteHi the guy who was at a benefit for his mother and get a bj in the toilets may be one of the Baldwins - they have a big cancer foundation thing for there mother and seem far more likely than JFK Jnr.
ReplyDeleteWhat cute, young guy, who's Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie's anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out? Jealous?
ReplyDeleteWouldn't this be McCartney's son? McCartney was knighted...so, royalty would fit.
Agree with the Baldwin guess.
ReplyDelete