Tuesday, July 01, 2008

What Is The Deal With Sex In Toilets?


Look, I have already done my rant about sex in a toilet stall, and so I'm not going to do it again, but is at the top of everyone's fantasy list? I mean let me know, please. I ask this because The Sun released some sex letters that Blaaaaaaaaaaake wrote to some other woman in prison who he has never met. They are calling him a cheater. Whatever. If my wife was outside the prison walls screwing everyone who knocked on her door, then I don't know how horrible I would feel about writing dirty letters to a woman the next prison over. Plus, according to one of the letters, Blaaaaaaaaaake says he and Amy are in an open relationship. I know, I know, all guys say that just like all guys say they are about to get divorced, and just haven;t stopped sleeping at home or in the same bed with the wife yet. But, in this case, I guess Amy was the one who actually wanted the open relationship. Whatever. That isn't why I brought you here today.

The Sun has been kind enough to go through all the letters and just pick out the dirtiest parts. Wouldn't want to waste Canada Day searching for porn, we wanted it handed to us.

"I'll bend you all over the place, with my hand round your throat."

Uh huh.

Then in another one he talks about after he gets out of jail he wants to have sex with the woman in a restaurant toilet. Why? Is this something he seriously sits around jail thinking? God, when I get out of this tiny, cramped, horrible cell, the first thing I want to do is go have sex in a toilet at a restaurant. Beds? Hell no. I want a dirty restroom stall.

Maybe I'm just not cut out for sex fantasies or something. I don't know. Maybe it is just that he does so many drugs, a bathroom stall feels like home to him. There must be some reason.

Oh, by the way, here is the description of what Blaaaaaaake considers the perfect woman.

"I just want a loyal sweet, staunch, slutty girlfriend."

Hey, just the thing to bring a smile to mom's face at the holidays.

17 comments:

kris said...

Ok, I'll start. NO...toilet sex is NOT on my list fantasies...even if it was David Beckham...NO WAY...well....wait a minute..

Kristen S. said...

My own personal bathroom - sure! Maybe a bathroom at The Palm or Nobu or something, but not McD's or Taco Bell.

Jokerista said...

Oh, by the way, here is the description of what Blaaaaaaake considers the perfect woman.

"I just want a loyal sweet, staunch, slutty girlfriend."

Hey, just the thing to bring a smile to mom's face at the holidays.


this cracked me up. I actually fell down laughing from my chair ( i was tilting the chair and balancing it on its hind legs, still... )

Love you, ent. Trust your sarcasm to bring sunshine to an otherwise moody day

Anonymous said...

bathtub - yes. shower - yes. toilet/stall - hell no. ew. I'll let Larry Craig have that all he wants.

OG Gossipmonger said...

LOL. loyal AND slutty? i didn't realize there was such a thing!?

Anonymous said...

um...i'm new here but my two cents is this....dirty, bathroom stall sex "could" be hot-- especially with a criminal whose been confined for a bit. if your really into someone, the fact that you would do it THERE takes it up a notch--adds to the excitement.

OG Gossipmonger said...

lol misskatie, HAVE AT IT, it's all yours!

mooshki said...

Watch the Jon Favreau movie, "Love & Sex." There's a great scene with Famke that made me rethink my feelings on restaurant bathroom sex.

lutefisk said...

ooo--I hadn't pegged Blaaaaaaaake Incarcerated as a sweet talker.

Anonymous said...

Bathroom sex. I can safely say it is a lot of fun. Nuff' said.

Unknown said...

Wow, I guess George Clooney and Blake share the same taste in women...

Brit Brit said...

Ent,

your not the only one I dont find it sexy knowing some one could of took a doo doo right before you went in there. pretty nasty

lutefisk said...

Now I will really date myself--I remember reading years ago about someoone walking in on Debbie Harry & Chris Stein in the toilet of CBGB's and saying if they could have sex in there, they must have really loved each other because it was SO nasty.

Judi said...

Mine, yes. Outside my house, no. His parents must be so proud.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Back in my day, people would have been very alarmed to receive this type of letter from a convict. It doesn't matter that SHE'S a convict too.

RagDoll said...

Siigh....he had me at "Hand round your throat"


Jeeeeez.

lutefisk said...

Ragdoll, you will have to fight me for that smooth operater.

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