NY Post Blind Items
WHICH Park Avenue socialite split from her husband when she discovered that he'd been enjoying secret conjugal relations with one of her best friends for years?
WHICH hit television show sidekick kicked an aspiring actress out of his cab after she refused to go to his apartment with him to "cuddle over milk and cookies"?
WHICH longtime New York basketball legend, whose wife handles his business, has gone bankrupt twice?
WHICH talk-show host has a flatulence problem so bad, he's said to have an assistant follow him around with an odor-vaporizing spray can?
#4 Larry King?
ReplyDeleteI don't know why #4 is even a blind. It's a well known fact that it is Larry King.
ReplyDeleteAaawwww! How sad! Poor thing, and poor guests...
ReplyDeleteWhat's his problem, specifically?
Yes, farts intrigue me...
I bet if he'd poo enough he wouldn't fart so much.
ReplyDeleteOh yes and also he might want to try taking Beano.
ReplyDeletebrad garrett came to mind for #2.
ReplyDeleteMy TMI bit of the day: not on my dollar, I tried beano once at a time when I was having a..problem. Followed the specific directions and for some reason made it worse. Quite disappointing.
ReplyDeleteEven though no one really needed/wanted to hear that right now.
I was hoping it was Dr. Phil.
ReplyDelete#2 - I'm sure by cookies he meant his balls, and by milk he meant.. well, y'know. I'm going with Dave Coulier (Full house was a hit, right?)
ReplyDeleteI thought of Tinsley Mortimer for #1 and Roger Clemens for #3. #3 shoudl be easy enough to figure out for anyone with access to the online federal court case lookup service.
ReplyDeleteRoger Clemens is a baseball player, not basketball.
ReplyDeleteOkay palealebrew10 I guess it's back to my suggestion of making sure you poo regularly. That always seems to take care of flatulence issues.
ReplyDelete#2 is Alec Bladwin
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine needing a Lysol assistant.
ReplyDeletei'm with adrian! "dr." phil IS full of shit!
ReplyDelete@dollar, i prefer gas X!
I have two medical conditions that both have IBS as a side complication, and I can say that diet diet diet diet diet is sooo key! Poor Larry!
ReplyDeleteIn my house we have what we call the Holy Trifecta (my blog readers are familiar with it, lol) that I used to use: Pepto, Tums, Gas X. It works. And you don't blow up. Trust me.
#1 isn't the Mortimers. Link to juicy article in the NY Social Diary - get s little confusing as to exactly how many people they're writing about:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nysocialdiary.com/socialdiary/2006/11_16_06/socialdiary11_16_06.php
LARRY KINGG
ReplyDeletehttp://agiftfromtodd.blogspot.com
You guys, OLD PEOPLE FART A LOT!!111
ReplyDeleteIt's just a consequence of aging. We will ALL get to that stage. Hopefully, in the (near) future, someone will have come up with charcoal-filtered Depends so others around us won't have to bear the stench.
Hmmmmmm.....wait a tic....
Does the phrase 'conjugal relations' refer only to prison sex? That's the only other time I've heard it used. Very interesting if so. If it just means they're fuccing, it's pretty bland.
ReplyDeleteI hope it's prison sex.
I'll ask a cousin about this one. (a publicist in NY, so she knows this stuff sometimes.)
thanks for the tip regarding gas X I'll have to remember that just in case I have digestive problems.
ReplyDeleteAlec Baldwin is not a "hit television show sidekick."
ReplyDeleteLarry King farts like a percolating tuba because he eats corned beef sandwiches from Nate N Al's deli every day. Gassy foods in ...
ReplyDeleteBeano only works if the farts are actually from eating beans. It's worthless otherwise.
ReplyDeleteGas-X works better at preventing burping than farting - it works in the upper intestine, not the lower.
There isn't much one can do for severe farting, sadly.