Monday, January 26, 2009
How Was Your Weekend?
So, about once a year, generally the weekend prior to the Super Bowl my parents have sex. Yeah, I know, but I'm old enough where the thought only keeps me awake for a week or so, instead of the recurrent nightmares that used to occur when my mom would make her announcement. Oh, yeah, she announces it. It started because my dad has a Super Bowl party every year and he and his friends basically trash the house and get drunk out of their minds. So, in return for his outlandish behavior (although my mom has been known to join in the outlandish behavior) he usually takes my mom out to someplace where they actually don't have paper napkins and where he actually has to wear something other than boxer shorts or sweats.
Well, last week my mom told me the big night was Friday night, so I had to find other things to do that night. Why I needed to be out of the house and what they could possibly be doing that requires my presence outside of the basement or the house is not a thought I care to relish. So, I did what any person would do in that situation, I decided to call some friends to see if they wanted to go out. The next thing I knew there were ten of us meeting at Geisha House on Friday night. As you can see from the photo above, three of the blog's contributors (ZX-Dominique Swain, WD/America Young, and Adrianna Costa) decided that an evening spent with me dodging passes and letting me eat off their plates was not a truly awful thing to contemplate. I also think they probably had nothing else to do and knew I would pick up the check. Plus, it is always fun to watch a fat man drink.
The night started out well enough. Everyone made sure I sat in between America and Adrianna because they seem to be the only ones who truly don't mind sharing their food with me and also can understand me when I am drunk which makes things slightly easier.
About six or seven tables away there was a woman sitting there that one guest was convinced was "somebody." At various points throughout the evening everyone took a walk past to see if they recognized her. No one did despite the protestations of the original person who claimed it was "somebody." We ventured it was someone from The City or something like that. At one point ZX excused herself and we decided to ask our waiter, who was waiting on that table if he knew who the woman at the table was, and he said no. He said that there was no one downstairs who was a "somebody" that night. At that point someone pointed to ZX's empty seat and said that Lolita was sitting there. He said, "That's Dominique Swain? I was in Lolita with her. I played a waiter who served her in the movie." Apparently the irony of life imitating art did not reach his head, but they did have a nice talk when she came back.
After dinner, some of us decided to continue drinking. The wise ones took off knowing this was going to end in disaster. They have been out with me before when I quote from Four Weddings And A Funeral and say, "might as well see if we can push through to dawn."
So, three of us decided to go over to the Pig and Whistle to drink and to rustle up some more friends. Five drinks later and they showed up. We then had two more drinks and staggered over to Boulevard 3. At that point, the night began to blur, but I do know there were many more drinks and a bartender who looked ready to cut me off. So, I did what any guy in my situation would do. I moved to another bar.
Well the now five of us were in no condition to drive. Wasn't going to happen. The guy at the door said it would take about 30 minutes for a cab and then there was the problem of how many cabs. No problem I said. So, I did what any guy does who lives at home with his parents. I called my dad who was also too drunk to drive, but my sainted mom came out in the mini-van and took us all to each of our respective homes while sharing with us in great detail about her night with my dad. So much for that pleasant drunk feeling. And no, I haven't slept well since.
Ok, so Enty goes to the bar with 3 girls and no other guys and we're still to assume he's a straight male? Enty, I love ya man, but straining credibility a little here. :)
ReplyDeletelol @ your friday night, enty!
ReplyDeleteaww, america young is adorable in that pic!
i think we are all officially fans of Momma Enty now. you so need to dish on her more. ;)
anytime you want someone to party with...fly me down - and we'll drink as long as you want...but only if your Mom drives us. LOL
ReplyDeleteThis post sounds like a Crazy Night followed by a miserable day-thanks to Alkeehol
ReplyDeleteLove/Hate it.
I never do this, but Enty man, she WAS someone! We were even told she was in a few things! Now yes, she wasn't necessarily "someone" in Hollywood standards, but I'm certainly not "someone" in hollywood, yet i attended this dinner, so I must be something special. I will fight this fight til the bitter end!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree Pookie: Big fan of Mamma Enty. Tell us more! No sex or nekid stories. The menial, boring 'mom' stuff, like what she makes you for breakie, how she emmbarrased you in school. I need some reassurance that, after years of torture, my daughter will tell NICE stories about me one day too.
ReplyDeletekimpim...so true! i'd love dish straight from Momma Enty on her mini van adventures of picking Enty Spawn up from drunken nights about town.
ReplyDeleteand yes, no nekkid pics...we're still traumatized thx to verne.
hopefully no waiters from the Geisha House read CDAN.
ReplyDeletelol..
Camel, please spill some more beans.
ReplyDeleteEnty, I hope you've already started thinking about what you're going to do for Mother's Day - better make it a big one!
weird but true - I get that a lot - someone thinking I am someone when I am restaurants or whatnot. No - it wasn't me at this thing with Enty & the camel - but I've been on the receiving end of that. It's surreal.
ReplyDeleteOne time I was with a boyfriend who is a recognizable face, and this guy at our hotel kept staring and staring at me. I realized I had on dark glasses, but had no way to take them off without it being odd. So anyways, we go up in the elevator to our room with this guy helping us and when we get there I go the the restroom and he chats up my boyfriend. The boyfriend eggs him on about how much he likes MY movies (I'm no actress and have never been in a movie or anything).
He had him going for about 15 minutes and then the guy had to go.
We never knew who he thought I was - still have no idea, but I was really great in all those movies oh boy =)
Enty made this story up. I don't believe it actually happened but IF he's telling the truth it's a funny and safe story.
ReplyDeleteace tomato, is there someone you're told you resemble a lot? It seems a lot of people have that one celebrity lookalike, my best friend is often told she looks exactly like Jennifer Aniston from the earlier days of Friends. Lucky genetically-blessed bitch, haha.
ReplyDeleteNext time you guys go out take a camera that way you have a picture that we might be able to identify for you lol.
ReplyDeleteahhh, parents! My mom would make her special oyster stew for my dad on Friday nights and my siblings and I had to go to grandma's for the night. It was years later that my mom told me that oyster stew was an aphrodesiac.
ReplyDeleteNothing too exciting happened. I shared some good non rice rolls with Adrianna, made good conversation with Dominique and her boyfriend and thought America was the sweetest, well travelled lass in all the land. I didn't partake in the after hours shenanigans, but got a recap the next day from Ent.
ReplyDeleteThe girl I recognized wasn't famous, but has certainly been in tv shows. I have an uncanny sense of recognizing people and will admit when I'm wrong. And, we even got confirmation from the waiter who was in Lolita with DS. So there!
Thanks, Camel. I was kind of hoping you could share some of Enty's outrageous drunken ramblings, but it sounds like you missed that part. :)
ReplyDeleteDon't know why but I loved this story.
ReplyDeleteditto, tell more of these adorable tales please.
ReplyDeletep.s. dominique swain is awesome, i netflixed her movies all at one time like a year ago, it was so fun!
well, it beats my story of garage cleaning on saturday!
ReplyDeletefunny, funny story, enty! not sure i believe the part about mom and the minivan, but then, i've no reason to doubt you!
would you pay if i met you at bob's in burbank?
i'm a cheap date!
Yes, Dominique is definitely awesome...
ReplyDeleteSo is Camel Adrianna?
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you Ent I traumatized my 7 year old tonight. Lately he's been making remarks about sex and saying he's getting it from Family Guy (a ban has now been placed - again). I told him we'll have the full talk with him about sex after he's 8, maybe 9. He asked what sex really was. All I said was, that's how babies are made. He buried his head in his blankets and screamed. After he asked if we had sex once or twice, he guessed by the look on my face it was "probably twice". He screamed some more.
I'm taking notes off your Mom, so hopefully I won't traumatize my son quite as bad.
No, Camel is Adrianna's best friend and biggest fan (alongside her mother). Enty is a lovely man who really does pay for every meal. EVERY MEAL! And yes, he's straight. Just fat and has no game. Momma-ent might be the reason...
ReplyDeleteI guess this means my son won't have game, either. LOL!
ReplyDeleteYears ago I use to live in the town where Verne grew up at. He is a freaking hero there!!! Biggest thing since... I don't know... corn was invented.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that big. Or in his case, little.
They have his picture up next to the welcome sign too. No, not the naked one or the one where he is peeing in a corner.
Ok Enty - I pick up my kids and their freinds almost every day from school. The vision of YOU being picked up by your MOMMY and her driving your friends home is just too funny!
ReplyDeletecamel threw enty under the bus there ... fat, no game, and mommie issues ... come on man step it up
ReplyDelete