Thursday, June 11, 2009

Bret Michaels Is A Cry Baby


Bret Michaels is quite possibly the biggest wuss on the planet. While most guys would be trying to hide from the glorious 11 seconds of footage that is Bret Michaels getting smacked in the head, Bret has decided to whine, cry and have his publicist basically say Bret is going to sue. What an ass.

Everyone went crazy after the show saying Bret had broken his nose and lost teeth and blah blah blah. He suffered some contusions. I have suffered worse than that beating myself with a stick while watching his show and begging for the sweet release of death. I don't go around the next day and blame Bret for my pain, or sue him for his bad acting.

Bret is also pissed that the Tony Awards didn't apologize to him for his injuries. The only reason her got injured is because he wouldn't leave the stage. He kept waiting for applause that wasn't coming and walked right into the prop.

If you get a chance you have to read this statement (it's a .pdf file) from the publicist. She makes it sound like Bret is a superhero.

So you have Bret on the floor and possibly dying and above him is a half-ton of stage prop and according to the publicist, "continued to descend even though Michaels remained underneath it. Witnesses state the singer moved himself out of the way just moments before the prop touched down." That took superhuman effort no doubt. I'm not sure why you needed witnesses to say what Bret did. Couldn't Bret have just said, I had to get out of the way.

Why does it even matter? Why does a publicist have to spend two full pages talking about Bret running into a prop? If he sues, then he is the biggest ass on the planet and I hope that every person who ever attends any Poison show in the future who even gets a scratch or a bruise or bad chicken sues the hell out of him. Sue him. Every single one of you sue him. He got some cuts and scratches. What the hell kind of "rock star" sues over crap like that? Did he f**king cry backstage and ask for his teddy bear too?

If he sues for cuts and scratches than so should you. He isn't better than you. If his cuts and scratches are worth money than yours should be too.

Oh, and here is the best part of this whole damn statement from the publicist. "I feel had this incident happened to Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton or Elton John the Tonys would have at least issued a letter of concern."

You know what? They probably would have. But you know why? Because they are all talented and living legends and you are were in a really bad band in the 80's and on an even worse television show. I believe all three of the above performers have Academy Awards and Tony Awards and Grammy Awards while you once got an award from the stripper in season one for a free massage.

34 comments:

  1. I wish I could sue someone every time I fall over my own feet. Jesus.

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  2. He is suing because he is emb-bar-rassed. I don't know what kind of case he has though cause his teef look just fine to me. In any event they're fake anyway.

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  3. I have to be honest here~ not that he had any credibility as a bad ass before mind you~ but any type of "studliness" or "streetcred" that he might have had is gone baby, gone.....that said, I am seeing Def Leppard in September, and Poison happens to be opening for them, so I will definately report back on his, ahem, "performance".

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  4. "Even Buster can kick your ass"

    LMAO

    i assume that's an AD reference. oh how i miss that show....

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  5. what a douche-nozzle!

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  6. Who else is envisioning a Buster / Bret Michaels slap fest?

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Lol sorry to interupt but we were just discussing this yesterday and I just saw this posted by US Weekly - "Breaking News: Usher reportedly files for divorce from Tameka Foster just this morning in Atlanta."

    Maybe Tameka read your post ENTL

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  9. @ *girl - it wouldn't go far. Buster's defense for fighting is curling up in a fetal position. Yes, I love AD that much.

    @ Enty - you rule. I'm so glad you called him out for the whiny little bitch he is, and made a point to say that everyone should sue his bitch ass if anything happens at a concert. Damn straight!

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  10. Jimminy Crickets, Bret. Talk about stupid. That moment got mentioned anywhere the Tonys were discussed. You could have worked that into being a bad ass with a sense of humor. The guy who even after getting flattened by scenery keeps on giving a great show and can joke about it.

    Instead you whine.

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  11. Thanks for the news flash Jessica.

    Poor Bret. I wish Angela Lansbury would bitchslap him.

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  12. Ok I love you ENTL - but I gotta say, maybe you aren't thinking clearly here. You say if Bret sues, everyone that attends his concerts should sue because everyone is equal. But then you say the fact the Awards show would have been more concerned had this happened to Liza, Dolly, or Elton is justified.
    So in terms of injuries/suing people - everyone is equal, but when it comes to concern showed for an injured party, status decides?
    I don't get it. Is it equal for all, or just some of the time?

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  13. Interesting that the rest of the guys in the band seemed to get out of the way pdq--yet Michaels claims "no knowledge" of the descending prop. Perhaps the band 'forgot to tell him' and were just looking for the perfect opportunity to start a reality show search for a new lead singer.

    DAMN...FOILED AGAIN!!!

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  14. I generally am not a fan of slapstick humor, but that is the funniest damn 12 minutes of video I've seen in a long time. I stopped watching the Tonys midway through his badly lip-synched performance and missed it originally, so thanks for the video link.

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  15. *snorts* nice fat lip, pussy.
    My 4 year old has gotten worse wounds playing at the park, and she forgets about it after about 15 seconds and a kiss from mommy.

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  16. *girl- Is your avatar a pic of children's hands groping a woman's chest?

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  17. Anonymous11:19 AM

    Sigh. He doesn't seem to understand that Dolly, Liza, Elton...if we lost them, we'd mourn. If we lost Bret Michaels...we'd celebrate.

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  18. Anonymous11:20 AM

    lol and I agree, a fight with Buster would be no fight at all. Fetal position would guarantee an automatic win but its no fun to watch. Although...if he were wearing a stuffed seal backpack...

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  19. That video is pure gold.

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  20. No no no no no. Poison were AWESOME in the 80's. Bret Michaels now - not so awesome. But I do watch his show. Mostly for the laughs. The stupid chicks. Bret's slobbery "tongue before lips" - kissing *cringe*. But back then, he was hot /Admitt'd.

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  21. @Jungle007: No, no children were involved in the making of my avatar. Just my boobs, some girlfriends and some booze. Apparently my girlfriends have small hands.

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  22. hee hee heee hheeee haaa hahahaaa haaa haaa

    ...breathe, breathe...

    hee heee heeee haaa haaa haaaa

    Whew.

    I love this kinda sh*t--pratfalls, etc. Hate it when it's me, but love it when it's others.
    (and yes, I CAN laugh, because I'm the idiot had two broker toes and a black eye in the last year just by being a spazz dork).

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  23. Anonymous12:02 PM

    LOL@girl

    That video still cracks me up LOL. What a cry baby. Guess he doesn't have the balls to be a man LOL.

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  24. I'm confused. Why was he at the Tony Awards? Shouldn't he be camped out in his 'Rock of Love' tour bus in a Walmart parking lot? I wish I could click my heals together 3 times and make him disappear. Liza would have shaken that mishap off 'cause the show must go on!

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  25. lol, you're all "power to the people" today, enty. i love it.

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  26. ** "The only reason her got injured is because he wouldn't leave the stage. He kept waiting for applause that wasn't coming and walked right into the prop." **

    Lordy, I was having a crappy day and this statement made me laugh sooo hard!

    And then I read MommaBears' statement which made me laugh even harder..

    Hello to Bad Fish and Majik!!!!

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  27. When I was 8 months pregnant I was walking across the street and because I couldn't see under my belly I failed to see the street had a 3" difference in the middle of the street where they had been repaving. I fell.. not too hard but hard enough to scratch up the whole R side of my legs arms and part of my belly. A horrified city worker ran over and told me that though he was not part of that project there should have been signs marking where the new road had been paved, as they did have on the next intersection. He gave me his card and told me to sue.

    LOL so after I went to the hospital just to make sure that the baby was okay ( he was ) I was only left with a few scratches and bruises. I did sue though and got 5K. Maybe Bret will be so lucky!!

    ( yes I know I am a horrible person.. feel free to tell me so )

    :)

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  28. Too funny. He's almost pitiful!!!
    Now I'm thinking I should go to the "Brett Michaels and the Rock of Love" show that's going to be held at an Indian Casino just across the border (I'm in Tx, concert is in Ok) in July!!! And this is not like a "Vegas" casino, more like a big, one story building out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farms and cattle!!! The only reason I ever go to it is because it has a "Smoke Shop" on the grounds that sells cigarettes for cheap!!!
    Such a perfect place for Brett and his "busload of whores"!!

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  29. He was at the Tony's because of the Broadway show "Rock Of Ages" which has all these awesome 80's poodle hits in it, "Nothin' But A Good Time" being one of them. A song which I, incidentally, was listening to on my way to work this morning,

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  30. Anonymous2:59 PM

    Hello to you too mngddess! :)

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  31. Miss, I don't think you're a horrible person. I also don't think Bret Michaels would be satisfied with five grand.

    I think he needs to call Vanessa Williams and Judith Light and those two Harvard-trained dermatologists and just do a commercial, because I'm not so certain from those photos that that isn't moderate to severe acne.

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  32. I've gotten worse boo-boos when I got head butted when my nephew was two and overjoyed by his freshly cleaned teddy bear. His head met my eye socket the back of my head met dryer.

    Didn't Perry Farrell just rip a calf muscle during begining of a show and he did the whole show THEN went to an ER. Brett is a wimp!

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  33. This video is nearly as good as the pic of Paris crying as she was driven off to jail handcuffed. I don't think that can ever be topped.

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