Let's say you are out somewhere. A hotel perhaps. And perhaps at that hotel you are allegedly assaulted. Perhaps after the alleged assault you are bleeding. Perhaps you would like to call emergency services, whether it be fire or police. Perhaps you are fortunate to have a cell phone or are sitting in the lobby of said hotel which also has numerous phones scattered around the lobby and other environs for the use of hotel guests and their visitors. Perhaps if you are not staying at hotel which has magic fingers there is a front desk person who also has a phone. Perhaps there are numerous people sitting in the lobby who also are fortunate to have a phone. Would it not make sense that if you needed said emergency services that you would pick up one of these many phones and dial for assistance?
Well if you are Perez Hilton, apparently the way you call for emergency services is to Twitter a message to your website and have one your five year old readers call emergency services for you. You repeat the process until the 5 year old realizes that even they know how to dial emergency services and they realize they really need to stop reading Perez.
-- I'm in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please.about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
-- I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke. -- about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
-- Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel. -- about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
-- I spoke to my lawyer. I really need to talk to the authorities. Please come to the SoHo Met Hotel. Have called the police. Need them here. -- about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
-- The Toronto police are here now. Thank you. Please stop calling them. -- about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
-- Thank u all from the bottom of my heart for ur concern. The police are investigating the assault now. I did the right thing by reporting it. -- about 3 hours ago from web
Idiot.
LOL!
ReplyDeleteBA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA...I'd like to assault that guy myself. Yeah, I said it.
ReplyDeleteI confess, I was listening to Seacrest on the way to work and heard the audio of his video clip and the reports of another blogger who was there, and all I can say is: WHAT A DRAMA QUEEN.
ReplyDeleteKarma's a beyotch, Perez.
Oh, and props to all the people on the internets who joyfully exclaimed: "Perez got Boom Boom Pow'd!"
ReplyDeletehahahaha!!! This is the Prime reason I don't read his site he is STUPID, VAPID, WASTE of Brain Tissue!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst!!! LOL
ReplyDeletePlease tell me they got this on tape I would love to see it!!
Karma is a bitch Perez!!!
Oh, that is SAD!!! LOL @Mooshki - that is hysterical!
ReplyDeletePerez's statement is on his site. Will.i.am's manager did the hitting. So why is the drama queen keeping will.i.am's name on the tip of his tongue?
ReplyDeleteWhat's amazing is that this hasn't happened before now.
ReplyDeleteI mean, c'mon...he/she/it is just so damn beatable!
Perhaps a trend in the making? Get your 15 by smacking that idiot.
ReplyDeleteLOL, Emma! Seventeenth!
ReplyDeleteOMG FIRZT!!!
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I 'd like to point out that I don't think violence is cool. But I am surprised that this is the first time Perez has been slapped around by a celeb or their entourage.
ReplyDeletekris - me too! I HATE that schmuck.
ReplyDeleteHe cried on his "Statement" video. "I have 10 million readers". fucking creep.
ReplyDeletei'm in Toronto and this is what everyone is laughing about today at the office
ReplyDelete"did you hear about Perez getting his ass kicked at the SoHo...by a Black Eyed Pea no less?!? Bwahahahahaha!!"
i hope it makes him never want to come here again. he's such a douche.
So Perez can twitter but he can't make a cell call.
ReplyDeleteIs this a publicity stunt??
The SoHo is all he can afford? I thought he was a "celebrity"!?! What a fool
ReplyDeleteTMZ has video.
ReplyDelete"you're not a f*cking artist ... you're a f*cking f*ggot."
Yeah, Perez, you're the hero of the gay rights movement. DIAF.
I call a big ol' party foul on this azzwipe. He has spent YEARS talking down to people, degrading celebrities and their children. Its about time someone knocked the hell out of him, and I don't care who it was, they deserve an award.
ReplyDeleteI like gossip as much as the next person (obviously :) but his brand is just immature and mean. Next beat down, Paris Hilton!
Thank you Mooshki.......
ReplyDeletei hope whoever punched him the fuck out cried "First!" with the first smack.
ReplyDeletei don't condone violence but karma is a bitch in this case.
not to mention the gross misuse of public tax dollars for all those fucking 911 calls on his behalf!
DUMBASS.
and i said so in a tweet to him this morning. UNFOLLOW.
Thanks for the video heads up Mooshki, just watched and all I can say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteAnd What? PEREZ is calling someone a faggot? What happened to gay rights, and no hate speach? You know, all the things he supposedly preaches on his site? Thats the really gay pot calling the kettle....well, you get the picture.
LOL, Jax!!!
ReplyDeleteThe guy's a dick but come on, punching him in the face is not cool.
ReplyDeleteJax, you mean you followed him on Twitter before this incident???
ReplyDeletePUBLICITY STUNT!
ReplyDeleteWhy would the BEP get mad at him for talking about them when he hasn't talked about them for months? Also, he squashed whatever he had with Fergie a long time ago and supposedly they are friends.
CANNOT.STAND.HIM.
don't give him anymore press than he doesn't deserve Enty!
No, I don't think violence is cool either and no I wouldn't actually do it. But for God's sake people...do we all have to be so f'ing sensitive?
ReplyDeleteLMAO Jax!
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing. I know you smart readers aren't looking towards this story to see how you should react in a real world situation, but this bugs me even beyond it being He-who-will-not-be-named.
ReplyDeleteBut if you're reporting a non-emergency -- which is what reporting an assault that has already happened that isn't really requiring medical attention -- don't call 911. If you want the cops, call the cops.
And if you want publicity for your publicity whore loving self, then use twitter. But for God's sake, don't use it to bug 911... in the US or Canada (or 999 in the UK, am I right?)
I agree that violence is bad but, man, Perez is such a douche that I am surprised it took this long for someone to hit him. Carrie Prejean is an awful, awful person but the way he carried on was completely horrendous. Suddenly, Perez was everywhere, drunk on his sudden stardom, calling this woman a bitch and a c*nt because he didn't like her answer to a question. His bad behavior made the rest of the gay community look terrible even though he really didn't speak for them at all (none of the mainstream organizations had any comment on Ms. Prejean). Due to his coverage of her, she has become the poster child for "liberal intolerance," and free speech in the conservative movement. Mr. Lavenderia extended both of their 15 minutes of fame by being such a brat.
ReplyDeleteIn general, I think he is pretty horrendous. He is so drunk on his own perceived power right now that he thinks he can do whatever he feels like and no one will respond. Sorry, boy.
I'm really angry thinking about all the perez sheep that probably flooded the emergency number with calls while someone somewhere probably had a real emergency.
ReplyDeleteJenny S,
ReplyDeletewell said!
Maybe its just me - but at some point, when you are such a nasty human being, shouldn't you expect this to happen? I know in this country we allow stalkerazzi to get in people's faces and yell obscenities at them, but at some point you gotta know that something is going to happen. Then he calls the police like a big drama queen instead of just realizing that he deserved it. What an ass!
ReplyDelete"Idiot." is right, enty!
ReplyDeleteomg, LOL JAX! *dying*
what a f***ing whiny douchetard, feeble-dick, piece of crap he-who-got-his-ass-kicked is. I couldn't believe the tweets this guy was sending - he makes my teeth itch!
ReplyDeletethat guy is so full of hatred. i sent him a message earlier this year asking him why the site wasn't updating as much. he personally sent me a message calling me a bitch and telling me to go to hell. i didn't even say anything rude - just one question: "why aren't you updating your site as much as before?"
ReplyDeletei don't visit that site anymore. i really wish he would go away and people would start ignoring him. but then again, paris hilton is just as publicized as always. it seems we all love to hate. most of the tabloid money is made off of our love to hate celebrities. how good does it feel for me to chime in and type that i don't like perez? well, good enough to be doing it instead of something more constructive to my life.
ah, that's our culture now....
I think you said it best Enty,
ReplyDelete"Idiot."
I usually don't subscribe to the "he had it coming" defense, but he really did. Karma's a bitch, for sure.
im hungovr. will sum1 call deli 84/3rd & ask them 2 delivr 6 pk beer to me any kind ok. i hav $ thx.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Enty. By posting this, you have bolstered my belief in Karma. Wow. Just... wow.
ReplyDeleteUreallyannoyme - LOL!
I love how quick he was to call someone a fa**ot considering that's supposed to be a defamatory word to most gays. I'm still calling publicity stunt since the BEP album is tanking and Perez is the master at getting people to talk about him, hell look at all of us now, including me.
ReplyDelete@kathrynnovawilliams
I would love to read what he posted back to you.
jax, you made me laugh so hard I freaked my cat out. I'm still laughing, but the cat has calmed down.
ReplyDeletePerez's problem is that he wants to BE the gossip, instead of "reporting" what's going on. Famewhores and drama queens Tweet about their personal lives ... so do whiny, maligned, famewhore bloggers.
ReplyDeleteI read Perez daily and have for years, since I used to enjoy his commentary and he had most of the recent scandals. However, his push towards becoming his own brand has left a foul taste in my mouth. Any show that has him on (i.e. the MMVAs) just play into this.
I've been over MuchMusic for years. Now I'm over Perez. This incident proves he's no better than those he gossips about and I won't be reading his tripe anymore.
Mike, actually, at least in Minneapolis, when I've called my local police precinct they've told me to dial 911. They route all calls through that number now. I'm sure it depends on what city you're in, and how well staffed their operators are.
ReplyDeleteThis incident has done it for me - I am no longer going to his site. This one is much much better. I can't believe I read that hypocrite. I hate violence, but this time I'm going to look the other way. As soon as I get home, I'm going to listen to all my Black Eyed Peas music.
ReplyDeleteKaty- yes i did follow him for shits n giggles only. i don't even read his site anymore cuz as us bloggers and readers know...its OLD NEWS these days.
ReplyDeletei died when i saw what John Mayer wrote "Pink kneed me in the balls last year at the Chateau Marmont and i pissed blood 2 days, you don't see me making a scene"
or something to that effect,LOL.
he's pathetic!
ReplyDeleteI never had much sympathy for Perez but now that I've heard what he called will.i.am I'm just disgusted. He was - rightly - jumping all over Isiah Washington for using it. Yes, some gay people use the word to reclaim it. But the point is that "faggot" or "gay" shouldn't be used as a pejorative. I have a good word for you, Perez - hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteCome to think, Idiot didn't do a lot of good for us in the LGBT movement with the Miss California thing either by going straight (heh) to the name-calling. Are we sure he's not a closet right-winger just trying to make gay people look bad?
I wasn't reading him anyway. I just wish there was a way I could not read him MORE.
The sad part is he is still alive. Whiny little ass. I stopped reading his site a long time ago...about the time he posted one of those pictures he draws all over to announce someone'd death. I can't remember who it was, but there was the photo with his little white marks all over it like it was the first time he published it. That did it for me.
ReplyDeleteFrom the sounds of the comments, I think it's fair to say CDANers are officially over any and all who are or purport to be Hiltons!
ReplyDeleteI hope this marks the beginning of the end of Perez's 15 minutes. I have BANNED his site because I don't want to add to his popularity.
ReplyDeleteHe hardly writes anything anyway. He just copies and pastes from other sources and passes it off as his own.
He's always going on about the same awful celebs. He always seems to like the ones I find really irritating (K.Heigal for example) and his taste in music and clothes is just horrendous.
'I THOUGHT MY EYEBALL WAS FALLING OUT!!!'
ReplyDeletethat was my favorite part. HAHAAHA.
i hate perez hilton. i can't believe he's getting any sympathy after calling will i.am a faggot but his fans are as fucked up as he is.
He needs slapped for being a sanctimonious whiny punk.
ReplyDeleteSure bash people for using words you yourself use do defame anothers character. Keep up the class act asshat. Maybe next time the words you use; which are hate speech; will wind you up with your mouth wired shut.
@beanie
ReplyDeleteGood idea on the banning the site. I tend to get drawn into reading it even though he doesn't post exclusives, he's usually behind on everyone else's gossip posts, and he's just not entertaining. He's pathetic and this just tops it.
PS read over at drunkenstepfather (NSFW), apparently Jesus was there when it happened...holding Will's hand lol.
more reasons to just read Enty.
The only time Fatass's name should be in the news is when it's followed by "died after choking on 12 cupcakes." And that's only if it's a slow news day.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, poor baby is an honorary black-eyed P(erez).
ReplyDeleteThere's a petition floating around Twitter to have him removed from the Teen Choice awards, for whichever category he's in. Just an F.Y.I.
I agree with everyone who is calling him out on using derogatory language. He forgot himself and came off the instigator in this situation. Not that I have a great deal of respect for what the B.E.P's manager did, but I have to say I understand the impulse. Perez Hilton is making loads of money off of writing horrible things about people and he wants respect for doing it. It's amazing to me that he is that audacious.
Oh, and I've noticed that none of his celebrity friends are rushing to his defence. Usually they're bending over backwards to kiss his behind and now they're suspiciously mum. Methinks the tides are changing. With any luck.
I find this tide sooo interesting. I still read Perez b/c I check about 10 gossip sites regularly, but his new posts are often old news. So surprised it didn't happen sooner and can't believe what a baby he was about it. If I trashed people like he does, I'd expect a punch now and then and just suck it up. Sh*t you guys are funny (and generous, way to go!)
ReplyDeletei'm sorry but the pathetic ass even admits that he was intentionally provoking will.i.am. and his entourage (yeah, i actually watched the 12 min. vid. it's worth it to see him cry). he says "i was trying to make him as mad as possible" or something to that effect. if you push someone's buttons like a man, you take the consequences- like a man!
ReplyDeleteand in the bep's defense, perez BARELY has a mark and even says in his video "he hit me two.. or three times"- how do you not know how many times you were punched? how is a witness not able to tell you either? how did you bleed "so much" but barely have a mark less than 12 hours later??
i almost felt sorry for him, til i heard what he said to the bep's and how he handled it afterward. it's uncalled for and OTT. how do i ban him again??
"Pink kneed me in the balls last year at the Chateau Marmont and i pissed blood 2 days, you don't see me making a scene". I know I am holding a special kind of hatred for a person when John Mayer not only seems likable but also makes sense.
ReplyDeleteHarriet- "But I am surprised that this is the first time Perez has been slapped around by a celeb or their entourage."
ReplyDeleteHA! I'm surprised this is the first time Perez has been slapped around by anyone. Anyone who has read his site has reason to want to bash his pink head in.
Ms.Leigh - I completely agree with you. So many things i dont understand about this.
ReplyDelete1. if he was punched that many times, why doesnt he have any marks?
2. why does he keep saying that will.i.am did it when its his manager that is arrested?
3. why is it "not ok, ever ever" for other people to use those words but not for you?
lol Jax - you're hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThere are things I like and dislike about Perez - either way, this was bound to happen eventually. Also, I agreed with him on every smack-down he laid (rather, his people laid) on Fergie/fugly and the Peas.
I would only care about this if the security guards had killed Perez, and if that happened I would throw the security a party over Perez's rotting corpulent corpse. They should be getting metals not bothered by the police who will not bother with Poodle brains who tweeted instead of calling it in, that shows that he wasn't really in need of help, just being an attention whore.
ReplyDeleteMust go buy 10k Will.I.am CD's to show support for the attack on evil.