Interesting past couple of weeks: Adam Lambert pushes the sexuality envelope by tonguing a guy on national TV, and the world cries yuck. But chicks such as Britney Spears, Madonna and Tila Tequila do the same and everyone thinks it's just so dangerously sexy. Double standard, anybody? Yeah, what else is new in antigay America?
In this very same sexually and politically charged media firestorm, megaceleb Butter Pussy is charting her next career choice privately.
It's no secret folks have wondered, in varying degrees, whether Butter rides the gay or straight bus (some insist she's a regular passenger on both), and she's certainly had her own battle with goss headlines in the past regarding her sexuality.
But now Butter's decided to...
Go against what all of her friends and professional advisors have been hammering at her for years not to do:
She's decided to come out as a gay woman!
Butter is terribly encouraged by Ellen DeGeneres' success with celebrating her love for Portia de Rossi while still maintaining (hell, even increasing!) her celebrity relevance. And this is very dear to Butter's heart, even though many think the multitalent's really only been in the Biz all these years just for the bucks.
What's far trickier for Ms. P. is just what to do about the man and large extended family in her life. She's far more concerned how this announcement will affect them, not her. After all, money isn't necessarily that big of an issue anymore, but Pussy's exceedingly aware her future financial coffers might be adversely affected by this scandalous planned press conference. And that's giving her tremendous pause at the moment.
Will all the ol' reliably closeted machinery of Hollywood win out in the end—and Butter will continue to maintain her (fairly) discreet preference for the chicks?
It's a fascinating dilemma. Particularly if Butter continues her super-risky habit of feeling up well-heeled babes under the table at all those fancy dinner parties she goes to.
And It Ain't: Hillary Clinton, Fergie, Hilary Swank
Oprah?
ReplyDeleteOprah is a good guess. Financially well off, involved with a man, has a large extended family and had rumours dog her for years.
ReplyDeleteDAMN! There goes my Hilary C. guess. *kicks rock*
ReplyDeleteL, you took the word(s) out of my mouth. The Ope's Christmas issue of her magazine featured a LOT of Ellen.
ReplyDeleteThe syllable count is right, too: But-ter Pus-sy = Op-rah Win-frey.
Opie's got my vote.
Plus - have you ever noticed how much Oprah likes to touch other women's breasts on her show?
ReplyDeleteJanet Jackson
ReplyDeleteDoes large extended family mean she has children? Opa doesn't have kids or does she???
ReplyDeleteooooooprah!
ReplyDeletei watched the ellen episode with lady gaga a few weeks back. i don't watch ellen often, as she is on when i'm at work, but ellen was making a big fuss about being on the cover of O with oprah. she gave copies to the whole audience and 2 times thanked "oprah and gayle." i believe gayle is the editor-at-large, but it just seemed odd that she thanked them both twice.
ReplyDeletewhether Oprah is the answer to the blind, i have no idea as i can't figure out Ted C, but that was just my little Oprah story LOL
I'm riding the Oprah train.
ReplyDeleteToo bad THIS blind is not Hillary, but the glass slipper fits for a lot of it.
Does it bug anyone else that Ted says it is "antigay" to not want to witness gay sex on TV? I have absolutely no problem with gay folks or what they do behind closed doors with other consenting adults, but because I don't want to watch gay sex I'm "antigay"? That doesn't seem right to me.
ReplyDeleteIf this were Oprah, why would she be concerned about her future earnings? Hasn't Oprah made a gazillion dollars and wouldn't have to worry about money for about five more lifetimes??????
ReplyDeleteI was kinda hoping that by mentioning Hillary Clinton, it would be Sarah Palin!!! LMAO!!!!!!!
I thought Queen Latifa, but I don't think she has a man in her life.
ReplyDeleteOprah is my guess. She has siblings or the extended family could be Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Jenny McCarthy?
@looserdude
ReplyDeletei think preferences about watching sex on tv has nothing to do with how you view sexuality in general. they're two different things IMO.
in other words, no i don't think it makes you "antigay" to not want to watch gay sex on tv.
i think some people were offended from the Lambert performance because they are homophobic, while others were so simply because it was sexually graphic in general to them.
i think Ted is making too big of a blanket statement with what he's saying.
Another consideration: Jada Pinkett Smith
ReplyDeleteI don't want to see Adam Lambert doing anything on TV. I also never saw any of those female type people doing those things either. I do write and read slash fic though and I loved Brokeback Mountain. Am I redeemed?
ReplyDeleteI don't think the USA is anti-gay at all. I think people are uncomfortable about stating opinions for all the right-wing wank in this country. But James Dean came out in 1955 for heavens sake.
I don't know who this is in the blind. I might have said Jodi except for the mention of "the man". As such, I am clueless as usual.
I'm a parent and the kiss was never the issue. It was anyone-male or female, simulating oral sex on regular network tv. Does that make me anti-gay? Holy crap- NO. Sorry but I thought that crossed the line. Cable perhaps, but regular tv? No.
ReplyDeleteThe US is totally antigay. They'll vote to legalize pot but won't let people get married. Maine, NY, California are prime examples. Of "soft" homophobia. Which means, its okay to be gay behind close doors, but don't be gay in public where my kids can see it. As a gay person, I have to watch heterosexual people show very degrees of sexual intimacy in public and on tv. It's totally a double standard. Triple if you count that most people can accept girl on girl but not guy on guy.
ReplyDelete@looserdude,
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's necessarily "antigay" of you or anyone else not wanting to see gay sex on tv. I think Ted C's point is that Americans in general are willing to let performers get away with it if it is heterosexual, masturbatory, or if it involves women, ala Britney/Madonna/Xtina. I'm probably one of the minority in not wanting to see any of it in a musical performance. Madonna and MJ always grossed me out a bit with their thrusting and grabbing stuff. Anyway, I tend to think that "scandalous" behavior is orchestrated to overcompensate for lack of musical talent. JMO.
Op-rah Win-frey
ReplyDeleteOh, and I don't think this is Oprah, because of the money thing. "...money isn't necessarily that big of an issue anymore, but Pussy's exceedingly aware her future financial coffers might be adversely affected..." sounds like BP still could use the money, while Oprah has probably got enough to live lavishly for at least another 250 years. I vote Salma Hayek.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's Oprah either, but at the same time, she's about to launch a new cable channel...which might be effected if she were to come out even though he personal finances are set for life.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's Salma Hayek. I get the vibe from Salma that she'll do whatever she wants to do nomatter what people say. She's got a certain boldness.
ReplyDeleteI think this is Oprah.
Yes it makes you homophobic if you react differently because it is gay. The problem here is that Adam did nothing that America hasn't seen before for years except it was done by a gay man rather than straight women.
ReplyDeleteIn 1972 Bridget Loves Bernie was the #5 show on CBS and was canceled because of the complaints about an inter-religious marriage! From Wiki:
The series was regarded, at the time, as somewhat controversial since the premise featured the marriage between a wealthy Irish Catholic teacher (Bridget) and a Jewish cab driver (Bernie) whom she met at a bus stop. With a primetime slot between All in the Family and The Mary Tyler Moore Show on Saturday nights, the situation comedy was ranked fifth in the ratings among all shows for that television season. CBS executives decided to cancel the show in response to hate mail from viewers who objected to the inter-religious marriage depicted on the series. It was the highest-rated television program ever to be canceled.[1]
There is NO way this is Oprah. Oprah is much wealthier than this woman is described as being.
ReplyDeleteSean, exactly -- it was a top-rated show which meant everyone was watching it. But idiot religious ideologues happened along and decided to tell everyone what to think and do. It's a minority of bullies. What the collective US citizens have to develop is a spine to tell such idiotic groups where to stuff their ideology (which, as John Adams pointed out, may as well be called idiocy because that is where it always ends up).
ReplyDeleteI was thinking Alicia Keys for some reason...
ReplyDeleteOprah never has to worry about money again.
Reese?
ReplyDeleteNot sure about the "fancy dinner parties" though...
Figgy, the blind doesn't say she's not wealthy - it says that she's worked all these years "just for the bucks" and that her future earnings might be affected. Just because Oprah's richer than God doesn't mean she doesn't want to make more money down the road.
ReplyDeleteI'm staying on the Opie train.
Totally Oprah. I don't know if Steadman is in the picture, but Oprah is very close to his daughter and occasionally mentions her extended family.
ReplyDeleteAs the blind says, money isn't that big of an issue, but she doesn't want to jeopardize future earnings while ending her old show and focusing on the new channel.
I may be choosing the obvious, but wouldn't the fact that a man and large extended family only fit Angelina Jolie?
ReplyDeleteLose the Lies and You'll Lose the Weight
ReplyDeletehamburger 4BlindGossip – This television star has gained a lot of weight over the past couple of years. Because this has been an ongoing issue, s/he has started seeing a therapist to get to the root of the problem. It turns out that the star’s hypocrisy in living one life in public – and a different one in private – creates anxiety and depression which, in turn, trigger binge eating.
According to the therapist, the issue will not be resolved until our star comes out of the closet. The star is actually considering it, but is worried about the timing of the announcement, and its potential career and financial impact. Will their career wither? Will their finances suffer? While we don’t know for sure, we do know that a competitor who has done so is thriving in a similar career.
Not proof of course, but since the Ellen interview this idea has been floating around.
I don't think it's Oprah folks. more likely queen latifah, or mariska hargitay, note the ain'ts fergie - singer/actress, (queen) or the other aint's "hillary". swank is supposed gf of mh. also he refers to her as Ms. P. MH married to Peter Hermann. I don't think Oprah is effected by the 'Hollywood machinery'. Yeah I know all the clues don't quite fit - 'man in her life seems like steadman reference but I guess latifah has a long term manager/male who may be effected by announcement. Ted's making it just vauge enough that it could be anyone or no one.
ReplyDeleteNah, I don't think Angelina could be stopped from doing whatever she likes. Besides, we already know about her lesbian lover and she's got enough of a rebel's background that it wouldn't be such a huge deal.
ReplyDeleteI still think Oprah. Yes she's crazy wealthy but I'm sure she also has big expenses as she wants to expand, run her school in Africa, and whatever other projects she has waiting in the wings.
JADA was my first thought
ReplyDeleteWhitney Houston?
ReplyDeleteIf it's Oprah, the "Fergie" clue could be trying to tell us that Butter is recognizable by first name alone.
ReplyDelete@Cheryl and @Robot, both very good points! Okay, starting to get on the Oprah bandwagon here...
ReplyDeleteI think its Angelina Jolie. Anyone who thinks the US is not anti-gay you are part of the problem.
ReplyDeleteThis is SO MADONNA --every single clue fits. She'll do ANYTHING for attention, and the question here is "how will it affect her kids?"
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's Oprah, simply because I really cant see her "feeling up well-heeled babes under the table".
ReplyDeleteI'm on the AJ train...I guess time will tell.
ReplyDeleteI do believe it might be Martha Stewart...
ReplyDeleteMartha Stewart is a great guess! Can't see her feeling people up under the table, but people can be pretty surprising.
ReplyDeleteOprah for sure, and I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteHarriot Hellfire-About a year ago Ted posted a blind about a lesbian feeling up a woman at a dinner party,most guessed it was Oprah, it fit perfectly.
ReplyDeleteMartha Stewart is an interesting guess however what about Reese or the redhead from Private Practice?
ReplyDeleteI think it's Drew Barrymore!
ReplyDeleteBarbra Streisand?
ReplyDeleteIf you object to watching "gay sex," then you're in luck, because I didn't see any of that during the AMA's. What I did see is Adam Lambert doing simulated oral sex with a man.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, because many people wrote that they don't think objecting to watching "gay sex" on network tv makes them anti-gay. Well, ask yourselves this: Have you gotten your panties all in a wad over the many, many simulated straight sex acts that Madonna (and many more) have done during televised network performances? Because if you got on your soapbox over Lambert's performance, but failed to do so in the past over all those straight performances, guess what? You're anti-gay.
My very first thought was Drew Barrymore.
ReplyDeleteI do not think it is Oprah, she has seen and done most things, good and bad, and I do not think she would give this extra energy deciding to come out or not, I think she just would if she wanted to.
An excellent guess is Madonna!!
I think it's Drew too!
ReplyDeleteMadonna...I think the Oprah guess is too obvious...
ReplyDeleteAlso what about Babara Streisand or Janet Jackson???
ReplyDeleteI like the Oprah guess, but I have a hard time imagining that she "feel[s] up well-heeled babes under the table at all those fancy dinner parties she goes to"
ReplyDeleteI'm still trying to think of a better answer
I don't get any kind of gay vibe at all from Oprah. I have a best friend, just as everyone is fond of pointing out that Oprah does, and we're just best friends, end of story. I am not sure why everyone's mind goes off in a sexual direction when it comes to Gayle. It's lame.
ReplyDeleteLatifah is obviously gay and doesn't even do much to hide it, so I don't think it's her. Madonna isn't gay, just a woman who is desperate to be loved by a man and can't hold on to one because she's a raging narcissist.
The clue includes the word 'multitalent' which to me means someone who is known for being an entertainment in more than one medium. Also, another clue is large 'extended' family which kind of rules out Jada because they have an actual family, not just an extended one. I wonder if it's someone who is involved with a man who is part of a famous family? Also, there is the clue about 'closeted machinery of Hollywood' which makes me think it's an actress, not a singer or host.
I can't think off hand who this would be, though. I'm still reeling about Meredith Baxter-Birney so I'm thinking whomever this is, it's someone who may not be on anyone's current radar.
Oprah was my first thought but it sounds like this blind is saying she wants the lesbianism to elevate her celebrity status, I dont think Oprah needs he elevated.
ReplyDeleteThat being said my guess is Angelina Jolie
Or Kelly CLarkson,
ReplyDeletepossibly Jennifer Hudson
Canadachick., I very much like the Jada Pinkett guess. If it weren't for the different syllable count I would be on the Angelina train, but I think this is Jada all the way.
ReplyDeleteThe key here is 'megaceleb,' which eliminates nearly every guess except for Oprah and Madonna.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is Oprah because her coming out would shock many people. If Madonna came out, it would be dismissed as another PR stunt.
In terms of relevance, Oprah is the only one mentioned who could hold a press conference that most people would care about. She's far beyond most celebrities. She's an influential cultural leader. Madonna doesn't have that kind of clout.
ummmm.....Dolly Parton?
ReplyDelete@looserguy
ReplyDeleteI've heard versions of your argument for years and years. "I have no problem with what people do behind closed doors, etc." You don't give enough information. Do you watch pg-rated versions of hetero sex in movies? As a gay man, I have had to watch that for years and years. As long as straight people still think they have to pat themselves on the back for "tolerating" gay people, we will still have a long way to go. If I don't complain about watching hetero sex in nearly every movie I see, why should I have to give brownie points to any straight person who "endures" a gay kiss or for that matter, says they are not anti-gay because "they don't want to see it." From there it's just a step away to saying "I like gay people. I just don't want them to kiss in public, or hold hands. Why do they have to flaunt it?" Do you know what it's like to be gay and never feel socially accepted for walking hand in hand with your loved one, despite the fact that straight people take this simple action for granted. Until you understand what it's like to grow up and always feel like you're "looking in" at the rest of the world, you won't know why your comment is so concerning.
I did not like Adam Lamberts behavior any more than I liked Madonnas, MJs crotch grabbing, or Rod Stewarts tight spandex pants. None of its sexy, its all just a cheap bid for attention.
ReplyDeleteNow to people accepting women kissing but not men. Women are curvy and beautiful. We show them naked all the time in movies and TV. Everyone appreciates nice boobs. The most we show of men on tv are their butts. Even we straight women dont want to see below their waists. Some people are anti gay but not everyone who didnt like Adam Lamberts performance is.
it's interesting that you think that your comments "women are curvy and beautiful. Everyone appreciates nice boobs." are a statement of fact rather than opinion. Not to mention: isn't it a little gay for a straight woman to be saying 'everyone appreciates nice boobs'? And if it isn't a problem, then why is it a problem to appreciate male beauty and even male-on-male beauty?
ReplyDeleteMy God- Oprah all the way. How many blinds from how many sources has this popped up?! Way to go, Enty, for being at the top of the pack! And shame on Ted for being the last to pick up on it...
ReplyDeleteBTW- the "Ellen" reference did it for me. That same reference was in a blind not too long ago...(Blind Gossip?)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteaw, well whoever it is, i hope that she will be happy! oprah, latifah, whoever - i'll still love her just the same!!!!!!!! what a tough situation to go through!
ReplyDelete"Women are curvy and beautiful. We show them naked all the time in movies and TV. Everyone appreciates nice boobs. The most we show of men on tv are their butts. Even we straight women dont want to see below their waists."
ReplyDeleteThat's absolute nonsense, darling. You don't get to speak for all straight women. I'm one and I'd certainly like to see below men's waists on TV!
And frankly, as someone else has pointed out, "Everyone appreciates nice boobs" sounds a little lesbian to me. Being straight, I'd much prefer to see men's bodies than women's. BI much?
Blogger Sean said...
ReplyDelete"Yes it makes you homophobic if you react differently because it is gay."
There're reactions and reactions. Your average straight woman would definitely find Lambert's guy-on-guy kiss more exciting than Madonna-Britney liplock (at least I know *I* do). Loudly protesting against it on "moral" grounds would be homophobic. Not that I awfully mind seeing women getting close and personal, it just doesn't do a thing for me.
Angelina
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletedolly Parton is a great guess. I saw a doc about her crazy fans. A male couple won a backstage meeting with dolly and she introduced her "lifelong friend" Judy to them. Judy was not very feminine. Then later in the same doc, a couple of women fans followed Judy to a store. Judy went into the store leaving her vehicle unlocked. The two fans got into her large red truck and found her registration card. She put it up to the camera and both dolly and judy's names were on it.
ReplyDeleteSo dolly is definitely a closeted lesbian. I just am not sure if this is her blind. I'm thinking it's Paris Hilton. Miss P? "But Her Pussy? But H P? Hilton, Paris. Butter Pussy also has the same number of letters as Paris Hilton. She has acted and she did a cd. the multitalented comment is probably both true and facetious.
Totally Janet Jackson.
ReplyDeleteShawn - I thought of Paris Hilton too, but who's the guy mentioned? who's the extended family? That kind of stumped me.
ReplyDeleteHey, what about Hilary Duff? I think this might fit her...
ReplyDeleteea73 - there are actually some of us "prudes" who don't think the simulation of sex acts is OK on regular TV. Regardless of the gender(s) of those involved, it is not something I think kids should see. I have many friends who also feel this way. While I am not anti-gay or homophobic in any way, some of those friends likely are, but that any of us feel children should not be exposed to any simulated sex acts on TV, is unrelated to any feelings towards homosexuality.
ReplyDeleteTea Lady - Hilary Duff = megaceleb? No
I am not sure whether this is Oprah or not and while there is no dispute she has plenty of money, it kind of sounded like (who can really tell with Ted) she was worried about the money in relation to her extended family. Certainly Oprah could continue her lifestyle for another 250 years without making another dime, but she seems compassionate and probably can't support everyone else who relies on her for their support/incomes/jobs indefinitely and would be concerned about those people. Considering that she may even think of the girls in her school as extended family that she needs to be financially responsible for, that has got to be a big burden.
My heart goes out to whoever it is.
Kim - Hilary Duff's clothing line alone is worth $25M, she's a singer, actor and now an executive producer of a film that ABC Family (could that be the extended one that is referred to?) is doing. And she's in a long distance realtionship with Mike Comrie, a hockey player she is rarely photographed with. Plus the syllables fit. And her sexuality has made news - first, her virginity, and then the kiss on Gossip Girl with her, Penn Badgley & Jessica Szohr. I don't think this is such a bad guess.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, Oprah's the big headline the week on the cover of the NE. The subject: Oprah's planning to release a tell all book in which she confesses she's gay. Oh Stedman's also gay. She's been his beard all these years. Hmmm...
ReplyDelete