Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The First Month Of Marriage Claims Another Victim


People talk about the seven year itch and how after the first five years that marriage can be really hard. I think what people forget are those first moments. You know, like the first 30 days after the wedding. The honeymoon is over, the presents have been opened and thank you cards have been sent. What more is a couple to do? Well, if you are Johnathon Schaech and One Tree Hill actress Jana Kramer you call it quits after a month. The couple got married the 4th of July. Wow, that was fast. Like Britney fast. I blame Jonathon.

He was married to Christin Applegate and she has seemed happier since he has been gone from her life. But what causes you to get divorced so fast after marrying? It has to be something serious. After one month you don't throw in the towel after years of being together unless one of the big three happened. Cheating, violence, or loss of remote control.

Jana's rep made the announcement and a source told Life & Style it was age difference and the fact that Jonathon's place was really small. His place or something else?

26 comments:

  1. Now I know the first year is murder...but this, well I don't know why they bothered...

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  2. Sounds like they either had different expectations of marriage (him thinking he wouldn't have to change his lifestyle, her thinking he would - or vice versa). Or maybe the deal was that they would get a larger place when they married, but he broke that promise.

    I'll take this one at face value for now.

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  3. This is making me roll my eyes. So she didn't know about the age difference beforehand? And his place is too small? What kind of shitty excuse is that? These people are pathetic.

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  4. To her friends and family, she was DATING a hunk that could improve her Hollywood status.

    But then she was MARRIED to a c-list actor, fading fast with age.

    A girl's got to take care of herself...

    He's unhappy with himself, she's ambitious (until drugs / botox take over).

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  6. But *OH NO* the gays would just ruin it for the rest of us. they're pathetic

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  7. i'm just glad he's back on the market. someone find a way to introduce me... lol oh wait, i'm married.

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  8. doesn't anyone TRY anymore? so sad.

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  9. Someone once said marriage is a long conversation. Guess one of them got bored very fast.

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  10. We always used to call him Jonathan Schlong because we didn't want to trip up on his last name. I mean, mispronouncing Shake, or Shaytch, or whatever it is. Her grounds for divorce are pretty good, though -- I like that in an odd way. In a world that is LOSING ITS MIND over the "sanctity" of the "holy bonds" of the "tie of matrimony," it's kinda refreshing to hear someone say: Oops, this sucks.

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  11. I think Christina cheated on him so I can forgive him for that. The new one is annoying as he'll. Maybe he chooses badly. Maybe neither of them new he was gay and found out. One cheated one left. I have no idea if he's gay.

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  12. I won't blame him for the relationship failing. Sounds like they didn't live together before they got married and once they did they realized that they were too different. It happens. As for his relationship with Christina Applegate, I believe the rumor was she was sleeping with one of her co-stars on Broadway when she was doing a play so you can't blame him for that.

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  13. I know a lot of people who never lived together and yet managed to have a happy marriage. Its called talking and spending time getting to know each other.

    She never went into his place? There are all sorts of people who have to live in pretty crummy places when they first marry. They get over it...because being with the beloved is more important than the place.

    What? Didn't these two talk to each other after they did the wild monkey dance in the sheets? I guess not.Both those excuses are pretty damm lame.

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  14. Anonymous1:00 PM

    Maybe it's a typo. Piece, not place. Then everything would make sense.

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  15. This sounds like an answer to a BI ...

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  16. Come on...so they basically married a stranger.

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  17. Anyone know how long they were dating and what their respective ages are?

    Maybe they had a pregnancy scare and she lost the baby and they decided to ends things neatly. Stranger and stupider things have happened.

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  18. Well here's another theory...afraid it's the "everyone's gay or bi" theme song again...

    I distinctly remember him almost coming out on the Rosie Show back when she was doing her annoying I'm in Love With Tommy bit...he said he was too and got all shy, and she freaked out and changed the subject before he could napalm his career.

    Christina Applegate hit on my female roommate 20 years ago at the Viper Room.

    And One Tree Hill is the training ground for Starlet Beards. OTH is the home of Casablanca's Grey Goose/Austin Nichols, his beard Sophia Bush, AND Supernatural star Ackles's suspected beard Daneel Harris. OTH even had the audacity to do a cheeky storyline on Beards last year with Bush and Nichols, so they clearly have confidence they're getting away with it AND a sense of humor.

    Kinda makes me suspicious of Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush's 5 month marriage.

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  19. Oh right! How did I forget??

    Jana was the one actually playing the Starlet Beard role on One Tree Hill in Austin and Sophia's plotline about Hollywood Beards (Austin's character is supposedly a successful Hollywood director dating Sophia's successful clothing/costume designer, and Jana played Austin's lead actress who slept with the male lead, had a sex tape of them together leaked, found out it was leaked BY the male actor to cover up his homosexuality, and decided to be his Beard while they did the PR tour for Austin's movie.

    YUP. There's NO WAY J & J's 1 month thing was a real marriage. I call shenanigans.

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  20. His place was too small?!?!?

    HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!

    Silliest excuse ever.

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  21. Lol @ Barton Fink. I always call him Sketch. She could get a divorce on the grounds of having an unpronounceable last name.

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  22. I think being married is pretty easy if you are married to the right person. Esp. the first month!

    And yes, I am married, have been for 8 years.

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  23. I have a cousin who rivals Enty's 5 marriages and divorces. She's about to turn 27 this month and she's been divorced twice. Within four months of her first marriage, she regretted it and ended it. The scumbag fit into the violent category.

    Though she used to be Mormon, we clearly we had some stiff drinks when she visited.

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  24. I thought enty had been married 7 or 8 times?

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  25. She discovers he hides his socks behind the door!

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