Ted C Blind Item
How interesting how low our Toothy-Tile-era, wildly talked about bisexual Blind boy Harland Fuss chose to lay for several years. So much so, he decided to go and get married! Gosh, do you think Harland really isn't into the boys, anymore?
Well, you know, certain habits die hard:
See, Harland just decided—based on his continued ho-hum career performance—that he needed to amp things up a bit. And if he couldn't haul out any more blockbuster projects, he'd simply try the get-married-and-procreate path. After all, that sometimes works for fading, closeted gay stars who are looking for a tabloid leg-up with their popularity, right?
Uh, not always, as poor Fey Oiled-Tush has discovered. But, we digress.
Harland just hasn't been able to quash his man-on-man desires (hard as he's tried, poor thing). And what with his career hitting the back-burner 'n' all, he decided not that long ago that he'd do the domestic dance, find a chick to fake-tango with and see if he could muster back up that ol' bedroom eyes thing. Onscreen, mind you.
Because the deal is (and, trust, there is a deal here, folks) that Harland's beard was promised a career-boost herself, in the arrangement. And she, like a lot of desperate wannabes in this business, bit. In fact, she chomped on the behind-the-scenes opportunity so fast, Mr. Fuss, always a more thoughtful dude than Tinseltown's used to, wondered what the hell he'd gotten himself into.
But it was far too late to go back on his devil-dealing scenario.
And It Ain't: John Krasinski, Ryan Reynolds, Jerry O'Connell
Orlando....
ReplyDeleteOrlando indeed.
ReplyDeleteDang, beat me to it.
ReplyDeleteI thought of Orlando or Vince Vaughn
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ReplyDeleteSo obviously Orlando.
ReplyDeleteOrlando Bloom
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to know that everyone else is thinking the same as me.
Miranda Kerr is so gorgeous, that's going to be one beautiful cele-baby.
ReplyDeleteIt's gotta be Orlando; Vince Vaughn was only hot for one short minute and that ain't never coming back!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking Miranda Kerr, while beautiful, looks like she has an I.Q. in the single digits. I could see her trading a bit of her time for an "acting" career.
What about James Van der Beek? He just got married and is expecting a baby with an actress. Both could use a career boost and I have heard rumors that he is gay/bisexual.
ReplyDeleteKudos to all of you for being able to interpret Ted-speak. Not an easy feat.
ReplyDeleteVan der Beek is a good guess. I don't think Vince's wife is expecting?
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was also Orlando.
ReplyDeleteNow, Van der Beek could be right too but he doesn't have blockbuster projects.
@Sunnyside, Yes she is pregnant. They announced it at least a month ago.
ReplyDeleteThe only reason I wonder about Orlando Bloom is I don't think Miranda Kerr needs him to help her career, even if she wanted to get into acting theres so many teens that I hear that "love her so much"they'd probably watch her in anything just to see her
ReplyDeleteThanks Goodgrief. I didn't know that. I still think of all the guesses, Orlando is the only one in blockbusters.
ReplyDeleteO-face does have a bit of the gay-face. And mz kerr does need the career boost bc the only reason I even know her name is bc of HIM. I can't think of a *single* thing she's acted in. Brain fart maybe idk.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely Legolas. Good luck with that, dude!
ReplyDeleteClowncar- the reason you can't think of a thing she's acted in is because she isn't an actress. Kerr's a Victoria's Secret model. However, being married to a celeb is always a good way for a model to keep moving up in the world.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't necessarily mean it's not them, but Miranda Kerr is HUGE here in Australia. WAY WAY bigger than Orlando. She could walk into any movie role she wanted here, and I assumed the only reason she hadn't was because she didn't want to. She is pretty much the biggest face in modeling and has (had, before she got knocked up anyway) a ton going on with her modeling and being the face of David Jones, that I would have thought she was too busy for acting anyway.
ReplyDeleteOrlando doesn't make sense... the last PotC hasn't even come out yet; unless Ted is exaggerating majorly, his career is hardly on the back-burner right now. Not to mention, he clearly got married b/c MK got pregnant, whereas Ted's blind makes the wedding sound planned.
ReplyDeleteToby McGuire--blockbusters--Spiderman franchise, career now on back burner
ReplyDeleteBeth - Orlando Bloom will not be in Pirates of the Caribbeans 4.. not sure it was his choice either. i think the brains behind the blockbuster realized the story between him and Keira was pretty much done. As far as I remember the movies he was attached to after PotC were not that big of a success, at least from a $ perspective.. just my two cents :)
ReplyDeleteand yes, I am on the Orlando train too!
Bitterella - mmm Toby McGuire! could it be the guess for the other name in Ted's blind, i.e. Fey Oiled Tush? although i was reading a few other blind items sites and quite a few concurr on Fey being Mr Mission Impossible.. mmm
ReplyDeleteMiranda couldn't care less about a boost. She's an affordable hippy zippy health nut who wants a family to retire back to a farm in Australia with. They aren't publicity mad, they don't do OK or Hello! spreads... And having lived in England for a long time I can't ever recall even a rumour that OB was gay.
ReplyDeleteAdorable!!! Not affordable. Damn you I phone.
ReplyDelete