People Magazine actually did a bit of reporting this week. They managed to talk to one of Molly Wei's close friends. Molly, you will remember is one of the people charged with two counts of invasion of privacy for live streaming the sex between Rutgers freshman Tyler Clementi and another man. Have the ever announced who the other guy was?
Anyway, Molly's friend says that Molly feels like she is being attacked. Umm, really. Did you expect her to be embraced by the people of the world? The friend also says that Molly is "really upset about this, she definitely feels bad, and wishes it didn't go the way it did."
Yeah, because then a guy would still be alive. Apparently Molly changes where she stays almost everyday to try and keep reporters from finding her.
Gosh Molly .. maybe you shouldn't have decided to help your little buddy film his roommate in intimate acts .. not once BUT TWICE! .. and then humiliate the poor kid via the internet.
ReplyDeleteBoo Hoo to her. I hope her life is shit from here on out. [Sorry .. hate to be so negative on a holiday.]
Got news for ya, Molly:
ReplyDeleteBOO FUCKING HOO!
Oh, Molly...you think the press is bad?
ReplyDeleteWait until this story hits /b/.
They will fucking EAT YOU ALIVE.
She didn't make Tyler jump off the bridge, and no - why hasn't the mystery man come forward?
ReplyDeleteNo, she didn't make Tyler jump off the bridge, just like the bullets could have stayed in the gun when the Washington DC sniper pulled the trigger.
ReplyDeleteI am supporting Project Queer. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 7 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months mostly due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools.
ReplyDeletehag
ReplyDeleteWhat a piece of shit. I'm sorry, but this makes me livid to read. I hope she rots in hell. I have no sympathy for her. She must be in her early to mid 20's, so she knew damn well what she was doing. There is a special place in hell for these two. Disgusting.
ReplyDeleteThis is something that she will have to live with the rest of her life. Oh I am sure that she is "a great friend who would not harm a fly", but to participate in something that she knew could have affected the people involved one way or the other...Girl, that one moment of bad judgement will and should haunt you for the rest of your life. Take a moment and look at what your one moment of "something funny" cost him and his family. Best thing she could do is take whatever comes her way, shut her mouth, and spend the rest of her life making a difference. I am sure that her family is so flippin' proud of her video and the fact that she is trying to go victim. Lay down with the dogs and expect the fleas.
ReplyDeleteThere is no mystery man. They arrested and charged Molly Wei and Tyler's roommate, Dharun Ravi. Neither names were withheld.
ReplyDeleteI personally hope they both live very long lives and this shit eats at them EVERY SINGLE DAY.
She wishes it didn't go the way it did?? What a bizarre thing to say. She should be sorry she did it, not how it went down.
ReplyDeleteIf the mystery man you're wondering about is Ravi (the roommate), well, he's got a better lawyer than Wei's.
ReplyDeleteWei is a college freshman. She and Ravi are high school chums. The two of them have probably done this -- or other malicious acts -- before.
The mystery man Enty is referring to is the person that Tyler was with when he was being filmed.
ReplyDeleteI think by "mystery man" they mean the one that Tyler was with that night (who Ravi and Wei filmed)
ReplyDeleteGay or straight they didnt film their roomate singing along to his ipod. Boo hoo poor you.
ReplyDeletethey mystery man he is refering to is the fella in the live feed with Tyler.....I wouldn't want to come forward either, only because his life will be made hell by the press
ReplyDeleteThis girl is a twit. I try and tell my eldest all the time that a simple act of teasing can have devistating consequences. What we have is a double edge sword in this case. It is an obvious no-no to broadcast a females pecadillos on the intranet, but males unfortunatly don't have the same standard applied. Doubtless she didn't think it was a big deal since he is a guy. Truth is, she probably just didn't think about it that much and I find that almost as appaling as if she had done it with malice of forthought.
not that this was a simple act of teasing _ I hate when I reread something I wrote and realize it sounds totally differant than it did in my head
ReplyDelete*sigh* I need spell check as well....
ReplyDeleteI will not call her names because that makes me no better than her. I WILL say I hope there are consequences to her actions and that she has the humanity to actually FEEL guilt over this instead of just crying because her 'joke' went awry and she is now in trouble. Let this be a lesson to her and anyone else tormenting another.
ReplyDeleteI love Moosefan's post.
ReplyDeleteShe should not feel guilty about the boy's death. She should feel guilty about humiliating someone on the Internet and everyone he knows. Unfortunately, the boy took drastic measure in response to this, but it illustrates the point of just how cruel bullying can be. While I join many others on their anti-gay bullying bandwagon, let's not forget there are people out there bullied for dozens of other stupid reasons too...too fat, too skinny, not attractive, not smart, bad complexion, the color of their hair, they're a slut, they're a goody goody, they do drugs, they don't do drugs, they drink, they don't drink, their religion, their ethnicity, their accent, their physical disabilities, the list goes on and on...to do something to make a person feel less of a person and somehow think that makes you appear to be a better person is so backward. And then to take that one step further and broadcast someone's intimate moments on the Internet...unforgiveable...these people have no sympathy for me. Because, in my opinion, bullying dehumanizes people and kills a part of them, whether it kills them physically or not. I know that a large part of me died as a result of being bullied as a child and it saddens me to see it still going on today...and even worse!
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck is wrong with people? I just don't understand the malevolent intimidation and bullying in schools these days that is so bad that it's driving some kids to suicide. I was pretty miserable in high school but it never got so bad that I felt driven to take my life. What is causing this gang mentality?
ReplyDeleteLike Moosefan said, I hope Wei (and Ravi) spend the rest of their lives making a difference but I don't hold much hope of that.
Neither Wei or Ravi are going to change. They don't believe they did anything wrong other than a simple college prank. Lack of conscience.
ReplyDeleteThe mystery man has been advised not to speak to anyone and his identity has somehow remained off the radar.
life's tough when there's consequences molly!
ReplyDeleteI am as outraged as everyone else else by this but I am holding out on judging Molly until her part of this is clarified. It's been made pretty clear what Dharun's role was but I have yet to see anything from a legit news source that is clear on what exactly Molly did. All I have heard through various sources, and this isn't confirmed, is that Dharun used Molly's computer at one point to stream Tyler's activities. It hasn't been established if Molly was right there egging him on, or if she was oblivious to the whole thing (or something in between). Either way some of the vitriol going her way in the comments here seems uncalled for.
ReplyDeleteThe best possible outcome for this woman would be for her to use her story as springboard to a speaking career...."I thought at the time it was funny, then somebody died."
ReplyDeleteMiddle & High School kids need to hear this story from a person who did it.
I really hope she uses this and honors Tyler the rest of her life by working to stop as many more as she can.
This of course, would require contrition on her part. And if this story is true, I doubt she will ever have it.
It's also depressing that this shit goes on in college. How many kids get through high school telling themselves that they will have a fresh start, with new, interesting, hopefully smarter people in college. People who don't remember you from fifth grade and don't know or care if you were the slowest person to run the lap in gym, were fat, etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteCollege is for starting over and meeting different types of people and broadening your horizons.
I can't imagine doing to another human being what those two did.
Molly, please remember this in the future... If you would not want someone to film YOU in your room having sex, without your knowledge, then why would you do it to someone else.
ReplyDeleteThis thread reminds me of the scene in the book 1984, when they have "Two Minutes Hate." Everyone stands up and boos and screams at the people they are supposed to hate that day.
ReplyDeleteOf course, Orwell didn't know about the Internet, which would allow us to hate from the comfort of our own homes.
I have a question, as I have not read a lot about this particular case. Has it been said that the young man committed suicide because he was outed as a gay man, or that his intimate moments were broadcast online? I think either way, whether heterosexual or homosexual relations being aired online without your permission would be a tremendous invasion of privacy for anyone. I would imagine, if he was still not open about his sexuality or if perhaps his family did not know and he knew it would get to them, or if they were taunting him about being a homesxual that would make the matter even worse. Does anyone know if this is the case?
ReplyDeleteI don't think she will understand what death really means for a young person until she is much, much older. All those years of preschool, cute paintings, catching a ball, seeing shapes in the clouds, going to the zoo, having a first crush, all those hopes for the future, GONE. All the investment and love that can go into one human being, BAM! Wiped out in an instant.
ReplyDelete@Jenny.....wow
ReplyDeleteThis wasn't joking or teasing -- this was a conscious attempt to destroy a gay man's life. They wouldn't have done this if he was straight. They did this to ruin his life. They deserve far worse than they will EVER get.
ReplyDeleteHearing Molly Wei complain about feeling attacked is like hearing Joran van der Sloot complain about how horrible Beth Twitty has made his life.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that these were students from Rutgers University, not high school, is one notable aspect of the case. Grow up, for cryin' out loud!
If that's a picture of the alleged perpetrator, no wonder--that picture's got "Dork" written all over it. Oftentimes, bullies bully to take the heat off themselves. ("You think I'm fucked up? Look at this guy!") Getting people to pick on somebody else is an instinct for self-preservation that's often automatic. Every aspect of it sucks.
Kate Harding has an awesome blog post on this subject. kateharding.info
ReplyDeleteThat was great, Mooshki.
ReplyDeleteSo many good points made in the previous posts.
ReplyDeleteI'll just say, "Sorry, Molly. You get no sympathy from me here."
She is ignorant and arrogant and a BITCH. Molly seems to be more
ReplyDelete"Poor little me" then
"I've destroyed a life all for a joke that wasn't really funny."
She still hasn't learned her actions have consequences to someone other then Molly.
Thank you Chop Chop and Mango.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and I were talking the other day about accountability and how it seems like there is a whole group who either do not get what accountability is or do not feel they need to be held accountable for their actions. I do not know if its the whole "be a friend and not a parent" thing or "not my problem, you cannot make me" nonsense. This mess right here, well what the flippity did they expect would happen once it got linked back to them? Like what was posted earlier-if this had been any other couple, there still could have been the devastating consequences. It was a violation.
She is not responsible for him killing himself, that's the reaction of someone who had psychological/depression issues to begin with. She may have (as has been pointed out, no one knows what her involvement is), participated in a shitty, mean and intrusive act against another human being, and I wouldn't be surprised to think that whatever result her and her dimwitted co-hort thought would come about, they probably didn't think he'd kill himself.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWell, if she doesn't want to feel "attacked", she shouldn't have participated in this horrible scheme to begin with. Why didn't she tell her buddy what he was doing was wrong? Anyone with a conscience wouldn't have minimally participated in broadcasting someone's private sexual encounter to who knows how many strangers...
ReplyDelete@Casey. Who cares if they didn't think Tyler would kill himself over their little prank? What they did was a not only a morally questionable act, but a criminal act. Even if Tyler hadn't killed himself, he could have brought charges against them, and they would be facing the same charges, except without the memory of a dead teenager over their heads.
ReplyDeleteTo them, Tyler was an expendable joke who could be used for their own amusement. The fact they they didn't even consider how Tyler might feel about it, or think that he might kill himself over it speaks volumes about their characters. At least I don't think very highly of them, though I am sure their family and friends still think they are peachy keen good kids who just made a little mistake in judgement. I have a feeling Tylers friends and family would beg to differ.
I also want to add, what would have happened to them had Tyler NOT killed himself? Judging from his posts on JUB he seemed pretty wary about doing anything that would get them into trouble. He also didn't hold out much hope that anyone in authority would care all that much about the crime committed against him.
ReplyDeleteSo if he hadn't killed himself, these two would have just gone on their merry way, maybe even doing something similar again. Tyler, on the other hand, would have had to live with the knowledge that there was a video out there on the net, of him engaging in a private moment that no one should have seen. What if he wanted to go into politics in the future? Or apply for a job, or whatever? He was screwed for life because of those two "good kids"
When I was 13 one of the neighborhood boys approached me at a party, told me he liked me, and asked me to make-out with him in a closet. He also added he would consider asking me out after. In no uncertain terms I told him I was uninterested. He decided to make the next 5 years as humiliating as possible for me, and enlisted some of the boys in the neighborhood to help. I was followed off the school bus and called every name in the book and pelted with snow balls for the next 5 years. There is no doubt if the internet was available they would have posted a group of boys assaulting me day after day. I chose to ignore them, and was very lucky that I was a secure person with plenty of friends, did well in school, and always had a boyfriend. I can see someone who has insecurities and being a loner not being able to handle the humiliation. I got past what they were doing to me, but will never forget the embarrassment of the daily attacks.
ReplyDeleteThis past Saturday I received a message from one of them--30 years later---
Paul sent you a message.Subject: a long outstanding apology "when we were kids, I acted like a major jerk and was extremely obnoxious to you; I know it's so many years later, and I'm sure you're so past all that, but I sincerely am sorry and I hope you accept my apology; I also owe your family an apology too . . . . . happy to see all is well w/ you . . ."
I am choosing to ignore him. I have no doubt in my mind he would do the same things to me all over again. There are some people who feel the need to try to put down others, probably due to their own issues.
It's too bad that she feels attacked. Those are the breaks when something like this happens. She should fight back instead of being a baby and crying about it.
ReplyDeleteVery good point, Basil.
ReplyDeleteBoo frikken hoo. Wah wah wah.
ReplyDeleteI won't call her names, either, but I will say I hope these two live very long, very healthy lives...and that they never, ever forget that by their cruel actions someone took his own life.
I was bullied when I was a girl, horribly so, and at one point I would skip school and cower under the outside stairwell at our apartment in the cold because I just couldn't take it any more.
I raised my own children to be tolerant and kind human beings. Where the fuck are this pair's parents? Where did they learn to be so fucking MEAN and cold-hearted?
A long life. Yes, a very, very long life.
@Sue Ellen, fight back? With what? She "wishes it didn't go THE WAY it did." What that smacks of is, "if Tyler hadn't killed himself, she wouldn't have cared."
ReplyDeleteI imagine this is the first time in her life she's beginning to learn actions have consequences.
Good luck in finding a career, Molly. You screwed yourself over good. Live with it.
@shakey. I agree with you there. The only thing she seems to be worried about is HER future. The only reason she wishes Tyler didn't kill himself was because it makes her look like an asshole. If Tyler hadn't killed himself, she would have been perfectly fine with what they had done, while Tyler would have that incident clouding him for years and years. In interviews, students said everyone in the dorm was already talking about it. God only knows what he heard people say in that dorm in the hours before he killed himself. He obviously didn't get any support.
ReplyDeleteF@cking asshats.
@ Netta - unfortunately the public has a short memory. Let's hope her conscience is longer.
ReplyDelete@shakey
ReplyDeleteI dunno, but crying/complaining about it is not working.
@Ice Angel and supergroupie (and everyone else), these are thoughtful and interesting posts. I'm very bothered by this whole thing, it was brutal and cruel, and I'm angry that the perpetrators' main defense is that it's really just so inconvenient that they are being called out on their crap. It is possible she was just sitting in the room and oblivious to what was going on, but -- I kinda doubt it, you know. Ravi doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would conceal his activities.
ReplyDelete@Barton. At first I did think the same thing as you did. It is entirely possible she had no idea what that Ravi guy was doing. God knows I have let friends on my computer and had my set ups changed or whatever. So yeah, she might not have known about the first time.
ReplyDeleteBut she sure as hell must have known about the second time since Ravi sent out invitations with specific times advertised 9:30 to 12:00. I think if someone wanted to use my computer for that length of time I would ask them what they were using it for. If she eventually (and probably will) say she had no idea, she is lying. If Ravi felt comfortable enough to post an invite to all his friends on Twitter, he sure as hell told her what he planned to use her computer for, and they probably just laughed and thought it was funny.
I doubt either of them will go to jail because some judge will probably feel sorry for them because they are "good kids" who just made a judgement error, not once but TWICE!. But either way, they will be getting a civil lawsuit slapped at them from Tyler's family I hope and pray.