Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Mariah Carey Wants You To Feel Bad About Yourself


For all of you who are struggling to lose baby weight or any kind of weight, Mariah Carey would like you to know she has a plan for you so you can look exactly like her and drop 70 pounds of weight very quickly. Lucky for you, all you have to do is buy an issue of US Weekly and it will all be explained to you. What is not included in the explanation is that she has multiple personal trainers who worked her out six hours a day. Yes, I know you have a full-time job or children to take care of at home full-time, but surely you must be able to fit in six hours of workouts after you finish your 8 hour job and run errands and take care of the kids and the house and relax for two minutes. Who the heck needs sleep anyway? Sleep schmeep. It's overrated.


So, there were the daily six hour workouts which cost her about $20,000 a month. No worries though you can take out a third mortgage on your home to help pay for it. Everyone has third mortgages these days. Oh, and while you are at it, you might want to go ahead and max out your credit cards for another $20,000 per month for the nannies to watch your kids so you can work out six hours a day. Oh, and don't forget money for maids, chefs, drivers, personal photographer, masseuse, assistants and a camera system so you can see your kids as they are shuttled between people. On the bright side, at least Mariah has a free gofer. Well, at least for now, Nick is still willing to work for almost free. So, lets add this all up. Carry the one. If you have 200K a month you too can look like Mariah in no time. I hate that none of this is explained in the article so all of us look like idiots or failures and Mariah looks down on us and laughs and laughs. Why does she even need to do it?

45 comments:

  1. She really shouldn't have said anything. Problem is, Mariah thinks her world is THE world view so all of us should be impressed. This is unrealistic & unhealthy, especially if you are nursing and/or recovering from major surgery.

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  2. Did they forget to put her belly button back on after the tummy tuck?

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  3. I'm guessing that Mariah isn't nursing (since I'm sure she has people to bottle-feed the babies for her), but I do know of people who lost all their baby weight (and then some) very quickly just from breastfeeding twins.

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  4. Funny she forgot to mention the tummy tuck , the lipo..and boob lift

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  5. @Cathy I lost about 35 lbs in the 3 months after giving birth. I had a C-section as well as major overproduction of milk. I didn't tell people because, really, everyone is so different. Some folks that breastfeed actually put on weight, most the opposite

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  6. ^^^What others said...my first thought on seeing this was that she probably had a tummy tuck as part of the c-section. Oh yeah, and that picture is probably photoshopped.

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  7. I lost all my baby weight in 2 weeks. However, the weight that was left settled in new spots. Plus, my tummy has never been the same and one of these days I'll get that tummy tuck I deserve.

    Bitch hasn't looked like that in like 10 years, at least. Did they put her head on a still from a video from the 90's?

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  8. Oh, and am I the only one to get stretch marks? I find it so hard to believe that these celebs with twins has nary a mark.

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  9. Patty I guess you and I are the only ones who have stretch marks.

    And like you, one of these days.. I shall have a wonderfully flat tummy via surgery ;)

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  10. Anonymous7:38 AM

    If I never thought of her as a bitch before, I do now. Easy day by day plan, my butt. It's not easy. Even if you lose the weight, you're still going to have lumps and your body will be different after giving birth. Does that mean it's worse? No, just different. Nature doesn't intend for women who've had babies to look 16 again.

    I have one friend struggling right now, she's lost most of the weight but a lot of her clothes still don't fit and probably never will, but she goes to buy new ones and cries in the dressing rooms. She really needs some rich person telling her it's easy to have the same body you had pre-pregnancy.

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  11. And btw, why do they use such a stupid pose? That's the kind of pose self-conscious 4 year olds make. It's cute on them, stupid on a grown woman.

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  12. I hate this. She went into hiding for three months so she could show off her new slim body? Jeez, just be happy with your new kids and relax for a bit.

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  13. Anonymous7:50 AM

    Six hours a day? I don't think so. After a certain amount of time, your body can only burn a certain amount of calories. I call bullshit.

    @Patty - I totally think they pasted her head on her body from 10 years ago.

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  14. Her abdomen looks as if it has been liposuctioned and and stretched as far it can go. Hope she doesn't sneeze or she may split apart!

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  15. Yeah, we can all look this good after a tummy tuck, lipo, photoshopped like you are a Playboy centerfold, etc. Bitch Please. We aren't drinking the Koolaid. You have just proved you are the selfish Diva we all knew you were. Do your twins recognize who you are?

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  16. I've never made the life-ruining mistake of having kids and I have stretch marks.

    Us Weekly needs new interns. This one obviously put Mariah's head on Karolina Kurkova's body and then compressed it.

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  17. totally off topic....anyone else notice ENTY sharing more of his sense of humor with us? iluvit! i find myself giggling

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  18. @Danielle - I thought the exact same thing. Your belly button changes either through a tummy tuck or serious air brushing.

    She's such a pill.

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  19. i blame it on her mgmt team they are the ones that gotta get paid so they sell their client and she runs with it! dammit is Benny Medina still her Momager ?

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  20. I had to blow the pic up to find her belly button! Looks like definite photoshopping to me.

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  21. Anonymous9:04 AM

    Check out this BS:

    "After shedding some initial weight, Mariah started the strict Jenny diet plan, for which she is now a spokeswoman. She said: 'The first week, I lost 40 lbs. … of just water. It was just water, initially. When I started with the programme, I lost at least 30 lbs of weight that needed to be lost. The whole point of this is not just like: "Oh, hey, look at me and my weight loss, I'm fantastic." It's really health.'

    She eats calorie controlled meals, including soups, and also did gentle exercise - walking her dogs and doing workouts in the ocean. And rather than weighing herself constantly, she would judge her progress based on how she fitted her clothes."

    40 pounds of water in a week? Why do I not believe this?

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  22. If you want to have a baby and look like you are 16 again, you do it the way my daughter did. Find out you are pregnant and your Father is critically ill in the same week. Move with your husband back home to help take care of your Father. Your Father dies the same day you find out you are having a Girl. You then spend 3 months in the Hospital, because you keep going into labor. You only gain 10 lbs. and at 7 months along you have your baby. People didn't even know she was pregnant. Add to all of that problems with your step brothers, who never had time for their Father, and you have the worse way to go thru a pregancy.

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  23. On the other hand, the mags have stopped trying to make Lauren Conrad and Derek Hough happen.

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  24. Mariah has a tendency to chunk up so let her gloat for now. Everyone know that she had lots of assistance and airbrushing.

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  25. Look, Mariah Carey is in showbizness and the bottom line is, looks matter. Girlfriend hasn't been this thin in AGES. I'm sure she had help losing the baby weight with surgeries, lipo, tummy tucks, etc. But so many of us would do the same if we had the money and time. So whatever.

    And if a celebrity on a magazine cover is making you feel badly about yourself, you have bigger issues.

    How this woman has time to exercise 6 hours a day with twins is baffling to my average lady brain. She must have a fleet of nannies.

    Since having my baby Evan almost a year ago (I can't believe it!!), I've managed to exercise maybe five times. My labor was crazy long - it was induced and I was up in labor and delivery for 15 hours; pushed for an hour; and then was told I had to have a god damn c-section. So, my hospital stay was forevs and recovery was even forever more. Plus I breastfed, so working out was really the last thing on my mind. Really, my focus was on the baby. Somehow, in a miraculous fashion, I lost all the baby weight in a few months, and more weight, and more weight and more weight. My husband told me to stop losing weight. I think breastfeeding and running around like a crazy woman after a baby has seriously raised my metabolism.

    Just thought you ladies should know that bearing a child does not necessarily bring about the total damnation of your body. Now, my boobies... well they've seen bigger days. Ha ha.

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  26. Just saw the Rosie clip, she looks good but there is noway she's a size 4-6....

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  27. For those of you with success stories, I applaud you. For those of you who are stuggling, I empathize. I am personally in a very dark place with this whole thing and stuggle with it daily. I would love to have a personal chef and trainer, but the fact is that I work full time, take care of two small children at night. I had unbelievably large babies and I am over 40. There are other issues but suffice it to say, I am indeed in a very dark place with this. I hate these article, it makes me feel even more like a waste.

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  28. I kind of agree with Susan. I'm not looking to Mariah for inspiration on anything, really. Why would I? Her life does not resemble anything like that of the little people.

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  29. I don't want to even get into my personal weight struggles, and why I'm the same weight I was a year ago.

    That photo is fake.Here's a still from her appearance with Rosie, much more realistic looking: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20543870,00.html

    As for her diet, yes I can believe the first thing she lost was water weight because I had a friend that puffed up horribly during her pregnancy and when they cut into her for a C-section she literally flooded the floor. But I don't buy the 40 pounds considering Mariah says she never weighed herself so how would she know? Whatever, nothing about her life is in any way relatable or relevant to the rest of us. She's not my role model.

    And why the heck did Jenny Craig change their name to the Jenny Diet? What genius came up with this idea?

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  30. I still carry my baby weight and my kids are 13 and 20, (I couldn't resist). :)

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  31. No mention of the tummy tuck in the article huh? And people wonder why so many women and girls have body image issues.

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  32. @ old;ady : So sorry to hear about your daughter's pregnancy and the death of your husband.

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  33. I had twins (give me a medal) vaginally and actually lost weight. I did not gain much because I was already overweight (obese) to begin with. I had a lot of milk and that helped. I can't afford a trainer, but I did yoga and belly dancing.

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  34. @Big Mama
    Don't let this fiction get to you! I was over 40 when I had my twins too.

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  35. @ FS - Exactly. Lemme see the pre-photoshopped cover and then I will give my opinion.

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  36. hold on...didn't she just unveil the kids and still looked a lot more like her before pic in those pics?

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  37. @BigMama - PLEASE don't let Mariah Carey get you down, girl.

    Just remember: Glitter

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  38. I breastfed both of my children, nope, sorry! The weight I lost was from eating healthier since I was breastfeeding, and running around the house doing chores in between the baby's napping. I can honestly say that breastfeeding did not help "melt away the pounds" as it has for so many people.

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  39. Well, if you're a big girl like me, none of it really matters. I did eat much better pregnant than non. I don't know if it was the breastfeeding or just being too tired to eat.

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  40. i had no trouble losingthe baby weight. even after my 3rd i was back in my regular size by 6 months. and i have no stretch marks. but the tummy will NEVER be seen in public. this is my gift to the world :)

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  41. Enty... you freaking ROCK. :) Are you sure you aren't a woman? :) xoxoxxo

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  42. Within 2 and 1/2 months of having my daughter (and breast-feeding) I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight...

    HOWEVER: as soon as I stopped breast-feeding I gained 14 of the 24 pounds of the pregnancy weight back. I wish I could go back to that breast-feeding body-- smaller waist and bigger boobs. Ah, the good ole days ;)

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  43. the only thing that bothers me about this is how she probably says she's a size 4 now. It doesn't matter how slim she gets, she's not a small woman and is probably an 8 in that cover shot.

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  44. I lost the baby weight quickly, but after #3 (who's now almost 8), I gained it back and then some.

    Early perimenopause ain't no fun.

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