Tuesday, February 28, 2012

28 Years Until The End Of The World


You know what I worry about? Asteroids hitting the earth and all of us dying. In my mind, celebrities probably have some special place they won't let the rest of us in so they will be safe and the survivors of the planet will be forced to watch either Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan in every movie and television show and it will all be hosted by Pauly Shore.

I worry about asteroids hitting the earth because it has happened before. So, when I see there is a 1-625 chance that an asteroid which is 460 feet wide will hit us in February 2040. 1 in 625 is what the odds are that you will win a big food prize in a McDonald's giveaway. Granted, the asteroid will probably only kill millions instead of wiping out the planet but if it hits your city you will be just as dead as if it was the whole planet. I don't even think you can get out of the way because no one knows where they will hit until it is too late to do anything about it.

Apparently the United Nations is looking into how to destroy it or alter its course. The people over there cannot even decide if they are going to order or coffee or tea for lunch so it looks like Clint Eastwood and Tommy Lee Jones are going to need to save us. Wait, did they die in that one? Bruce and Ben died in theirs too right? Did anyone actually live in those spate of movies that were all about the same thing? Tea Leoni did. She can save us. If she can survive having unprotected sex with David Duchovny all those years she can survive this.

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