Your Turn
Olympic athlete Lolo Jones says she can't find a boyfriend because she is a virgin. Has she met this guy named Tim Tebow? Anyway, I believe she is a virgin, but do you think that is the reason she can't find a boyfriend? That would mean that all guys she meets don't ever think about marrying her and only want sex.
maybe she's holding out for a guy who's a virgin too? That would certainly limit the field.
ReplyDeleteI say good for her. I sure wish I'd done something similar.
She looks pretty fit there...they may be intimidated.
ReplyDeleteWhy do we treat virginity as some kind of disease? If it's important to her, then let her be.
It's partly that and partly that she has a boring personality. Her life is centered around her career and her religion and her family. She has zip else to talk about. That's the real problem.
ReplyDeleteGood for her!
ReplyDeleteLoving all the Iowa news today! From Zebras to virgins!
ReplyDeleteWhy do people put that out there? Is she a waiting-for-marriage person? Does she have some sort of platform?
ReplyDeleteThat I understand.
If she's trying to lose her virginity or is looking for a nice boy to lose it to, this seems kind of desperate.
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin if that's what you want in life and it's personal, I say good for her.
ReplyDeleteLolo Tebow. Kind of catchy if you say it aloud.
ReplyDeleteShe may not be able to find a boyfriend, but I doubt it's her virginity that's the culprit. Plenty of guys would still think that was a quality rather than a detriment. As long as she's not holding out for a virgin herself, that may be difficult.
ReplyDeleteMy husband wasn't bothered by waiting until we were married. Not to say it wasn't "hard" (pun intended) but we lived through it and I think were stronger for having had waited. Certainly had a heck of a honeymoon anyway.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI thought guys liked virgins. Maybe she is waiting for marriage and hasn't found anyone else willing to wait? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteI applaud people who hold out like that, good for them, but I'm glad I first had sex at 17 and even more glad I didn't marry that guy.
She can't find a boyfriend because she has standards.
ReplyDeleteI don't know anything about her personally (I take it from other comments that she's very religious & waiting for marriage?), but there really does seem to be the attitude now that virgins, especially those past a certain age (late teens) are somehow abnormal--after all, wouldn't someone else have relieved them of their condition before now? There's also the notion that virgins are "too much responsibility," with the idea that taking someone's virginity is a lot more serious than an ordinary shag, and somehow binds them to you/makes you more responsible for them; it seems to make things more serious than many people want them to be. Basically, virginity is seen as a Big Deal, and many (most?) people don't want to deal with it for that reason. (It's not just a guy thing, either; I've heard plenty of women express strong reservations about dealing with male virgins.)
ReplyDeleteIf she's doing what she wants, and feels this is right, then it's the right thing for her and she should stick with it; what she needs is a man who also feels likewise and, ideally, is also a virgin, or at least has been re-virginated (in the sense of no longer having sex outside marriage due to his beliefs). Of course, I don't mean the kind of guys who want virgins just because they're afraid of comparison, or want someone too naive to call them on their crap are one thing; they're just creepy, and I'm not convinced anyone deserved that...
She'll meet someone and should stick to her beliefs. But I don't know if publicizing her status was the best move.. I don't even know if she needed to tell the lucky guy....:) But too late now. She'll meet someone eventually.
ReplyDeleteAs another 29-year old virgin, I can say that there are men who respect the choice (though almost none of them *like* it) and others who have passed on dating me because of it.
ReplyDeleteI doubt that she's looking for another virgin to marry, but I bet that her standards are high. And any guy who is interested in her has to accept that he might not get laid for another couple of years. It's hard to make that call when you're first starting to date someone because you really don't know them well enough to see that far into the future.
So...yeah...it can be hard to get a boyfriend under those circumstances.
Ummm, she's gay, duh....
ReplyDeleteWhy is she announcing this? Regardless, it's going to get harder, Lolo. With that news out there, she's basically told every single guy that she's waiting for marriage (assuming she is). So before a guy even gets interested in her, he's aware that there will be no sex until marriage. It's almost like proposing on the first date.
ReplyDeleteAnd if she's not waiting for marriage and just the right guy, like Robin said, she's just put an enormous amount o' pressure on that guy.
I just googled her (I've never heard of her before), she's quite pretty.
Most people expect sex in their relationships. If she's not willing to do that, I can see lots of men losing interest.
ReplyDeleteIt might be easy for her to find a guy who wants to have sex with her, but perhaps she wants to wait to have sex until she is in a committed relationship with someone. A lot of people feel that they want to take a test drive before committing, you know...*L*
ReplyDeleteMaybe she can't find one because she tells them straight away - like first sentence on the first date "no sex until you marry me" :)
ReplyDeleteVirginity is like holding onto Amateur status
ReplyDeleteMaybe she's waiting for "Olympic Gold" to go professional
I've never understood what the big deal is if someone is a virgin at any age. It's honestly no ones business.
ReplyDeleteAny experienced guy is going to regard her virginity as a warning sign rather than a gift. Sexual compatibility is one of the keys to a lasting relationship.
ReplyDelete^I have to agree @B. Profane. Most people do feel that way. Not all, but I'd say it's more rare to not feel that way.
ReplyDelete*Channeling Seinfeld* "Not that there's anything wrong with it!"
re: virginity
"Not that there's anything wrong with it!" I dunno, one former girlfriend whom I deflowered in high school (she pretty much begged me to do it) stalked me for years afterwards. Yeah, ok, I know I was your first but that was years ago--get a life!
ReplyDeleteShe's into competitive sports, so that's probably the #1 reason she can't find a date. She's probably spending a lot of time preparing for the Olympics. Finding a decent guy takes a lot of time and energy. A. LOT. Unless you're one of those lucky women who just bumps into Mr. Right.
ReplyDeleteAlso, she's probably not technically a virgin if she does a lot of rigorous activity - that has been known to pop the ol' hymen.
Enty, have you been reading my Twitter? From last night: "$100 says Tim Tebow & that virgin gymnist get thrown together by the tabloids within a month."
ReplyDeletemadlyb- do we need to go back to health class? lol.
ReplyDeleteif she hasn't had sex she is still a virgin, horsebackriding, sports etc be damned.
Guys don't want to be the first because girls get attached (we do) and cast the guy into the Prince Charming role. If a guy isn't into a long term or looking marriage he is not going to want to take her virginity.
or it could be that she could bench press any dude with one arm.
Promoting your virginity is the same as selling sex. It's just selling what's not between your legs. It's sad that this woman feels like her private sexual life is anybody's business. Now she's reduced herself to the virgin gymnast, completely overshadowing her hard worth, dedication, and accomplishments.
ReplyDeleteGross.
@jax - Naw, I was just being an asshole, as usual. Sadly, I have to get my kicks where I can. :)
ReplyDeleteYou know, that dress she's wearing in that pic does not scream, "Virgin!" to me.
She's almost 30 and a virgin? .......and has posed semi-nude. Interesting.
ReplyDeleteWhy discuss it? I was an older virgin too, but I never put it out there. Heck, I didn't even tell the guy I had sex with I was a virgin.
ReplyDeleteUsually when this type of thing is publicized, it has something to do with religion. She is a good fill in the blank girl.
I do agree there is a stigma attached to older virgins now.
I have a couple of friends in their 30s who are still virgins and the reason they can't meet a guy is b/c they're socially awkward and have a fairy tale mentality when it comes to dating/sex/romance. They're also really stubborn and pick guys that are usually with someone else or are gay so in other words, they go for men who are always unavailable hence their continued status as virgins (they don't do it for religious reasons.)
ReplyDeleteI think if I had waited a while I would have just notbmentioned it to whoever was my chosen deflowerer (he he).
ReplyDeleteIn my case I was young and my choice was unrequired...and was then messed up because "who wants to be the last to lick a lollipop" or some crap someone told me and I actually believed.
Regardless if I had, had a choice it would not have been a big deal. You meet someone, you are into them and, you, responsibly, do what comes naturally.
I met someone, who would have probably been my own personal and sexual napalm, in HS but I was too messed up by then.
Ugh, how badly i mishandled that situation is probably
my one major regret, still.
I don't understand reality shows and so publicizing
Erosional details will never make sense to me.
I would never marry someone without having been intimate with them and lived with them first. I learnt that after not living with the first husband before marriage. Second husband is wonderful, and we lived together for 5 years before marriage. People may not be cold, or put off by her virginity per se, but may have had life experiences like mine and have non-negotiables for their relationships that clash with hers.
ReplyDeleteJust so you guys know, she's not a gymnast!!!
ReplyDeleteTrack and field star.
I ♥ Lolo.
Not keen on the virginity comment, but she has such a great spirit and attitude.
Yeah, just slow down and get to know a man before u discuss your virginity!!
ReplyDeleteIf he loves her, he'll be happy that he was her first. If he's a pig, he either won't want to date her or he'll think of her as a conquest.
ReplyDeleteEither way, the right guy won't care if she's a virgin or not...he'll care more about their chemistry.
I'm with B. Profane and Reno. As a girl and before I got married, I don't know how I would feel dating someone who was a virgin. It's a slightly slutty way to look at it, but I would like to test drive the car before I buy it. I also like sex. But I guarantee there are many men who wouldn't mind and would be willing to meet.
ReplyDeleteB. Profane--that chick stalked you because she's a psycho, not because you took her virginity. I'm sure she did the same with her sub sequential lays!
As a 26 years old virgin I feel like it gets harder to meet guys because of it. I am not looking for my future husband but for a guy that wants to be in a relationship. The problem is that usually when you meet guys (especially around that age) sexs usually comes up very quickly but guys also move on very quickly. So you might not be looking for mister perfect but you do not want an ass either. Here is the thin line...
ReplyDeleteThere's someone for everyone. I mean, member the TLC special about the virgins getting married? There's got to be someone out there for her!
ReplyDelete@Jolene--Naw, she was a sentimental sweetie. The other ex who stalked me (sorta) was a little scary.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but compare Ms. Jones to my first post-divorce honey, who was also 29 at the time, except that she'd spent her 20's living a life of wanton carnality, including defrocking a Catholic novitiate. I was ready to pop the question on the third date in part because it was clear that she had the life experience to know exactly what she wanted in a marriage.
(Come to think of it, another of my ex's also lured a bisexual novitiate into sin. Man, those Jesuits are horny buggers.)
@B.Profane 'Jesuits are horny buggers', indeed they are :)
ReplyDeleteI was a virgin when I got married at 22. My hubby wasn't, but he respected my desire to wait, and will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary on Saturday. I did end up kissing (yes only kissing) a few frogs who wouldn't respect my stand, but when I met my hubby, it all came together. It can take some time to find the right one, but they are out there.
ReplyDelete(and no, I didn't feel the need to 'test drive the car' before I settled down, and neither did he :) )
I say, from experience, hang onto what she believes and the right guy, even if he wishes otherwise, will wait for her. But, yes, making it so public is daunting. It should be a private conversation, not something you know about someone before you even meet the person.
ReplyDeleteI heart lolo's mum. She did the best to raise her kids under terrible circumstances.
ReplyDeleteweird. she center's her life around her crotch. sex is not just for the other person, it's for YOU. by 30, excuse me, any typical person has met enough people to have become intimate. she's limiting herself and i think its a cover for something else. we are biologically designed to keep he species going=to have sex. if she think the greatest gift she can gie her future spouse is between her legs, she must not think she's got much going on.
ReplyDeleteYes, most attractive women who can get so many dates like she can would have gone for someone by now (29, almost 30). I follow her on twitter and she seems funny, hot and nice. Her standards/commitment phobia must be high or it's something else like that she's deeply closeted, if even to herself. I would remind her of how St Paul seems to say that celibacy is higher than marriage, if that would help but I guess she seems to want to have a relationship. Anyway, I hope she finds someone she likes enough.
ReplyDelete@Me, I don't think that she's centered her life around her crotch! She's an Olympic athlete! She clearly has more important things going on in her life.
ReplyDeleteLike her, I've met enough people to become intimate with, but I've chosen not to go THAT far. It isn't because I haven't been wanted and I'm sure that men have wanted Lolo, too. I don't think that she's covering for anything except perhaps a desire to avoid the same fate as her mother, a single mom to five kids.
We hear so much about slut-shaming, but it appears that it's okay to prude-shame; and even the word "prude" is negative. Society has gone from valuing purity to accusing the "prudes" of having something wrong with them. Both extremes are harmful, but the "Everyone's doing it!" attitude teaches young girls that there is little point in waiting which leads them to have sexual experiences before they're emotionally ready.
For that reason especially, I think that it shouldn't be any weirder for Lolo to discuss why she's waiting for sex than it is for any other celebrity role model to discuss why they chose not to wait. Young men and women deserve to feel like any choice they make regarding when they have sex is valid and that they won't be judged for it.
^Well said. And also agree with what crila said.
ReplyDelete