Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Craziest Kardashian Lawsuit Ever


A reader sent me a link to this news story from West Virginia and said I had to read them. I'm glad I did. I think the writer must have been laughing uncontrollably while writing the story and I'm pretty convinced the people who filed the lawsuits are on bath salts and are probably trying to eat each other right now.


Why the people picked West Virginia to file these suits is beyond me. Moonshine? A love of Mountaineer football?

Anyway, two suits have been filed and both are seeking a restraining order against Kim Kardashian. I'm just going to focus on the first one here because it is the craziest. Why?

The plaintiff says that Kardashian, Humphries and Sinanaj were making a lot of noise in the next room. When the plaintiff looked through the peep hole, he saw them making a sex tape.

"It was weird because on the floor was barnyard animals staring at them, sheep, two goats, unicorn, and I thought they were there as witnesses. Sinanaj was bobbing her head up and down with a voodoo doll in her hand."

The plaintiff says he yelled at them that he was trying to sleep when Kris said, 'mind your business pip squeek' and I told Kris, ‘I got a sling shot' and ‘my middle name is David' ‘you are no Goliath,' the suit continued.

Kimberly said in his suit he would report Humphries to "JayZ, the Russian, and TMZ.com."

"And Kris went irate on steroid rage, ripped the door open dragged me into the room, put a shot gun to my head that he got from Nets player Jayson Williams and forced me to watch the three defendants have sex with another for 5 hr's against my will," the suit said.

The suit continued saying Sinanaj hit Kimberly with an RC Cola Can and Kardashian forced him to watch "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" reruns for six consecutive hours.

"I defacated on my self, barnyard animals snipped at my feet, Chris is laughing at me like the Jolly Green Giant, then a knock on the door, Kim Kardashian opened and it was Charlie Sheen, who had a bag full of ecstasy and set ‘lets get this party started,'" the suit asserts.

Kimberly alleged every two minutes, Kardashian would beat him in the head with her engagement ring, which he said caused bruises and a broken wrist.

"Kris put me in a pretzel, saying he is a chiropractor, and him passed gas in the room, and I passed out from it, and woke up at a truck stop, wallet gone, Kardashian lip stick all over my clothes," the suit stated.

"I'm violated, humiliated, and my voice is circulating on this Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries sex tape which puts me through public humiliation, I face imminent danger and bodily harm, I seek a restraining order from the defendants I pray this court for relief."

This is an actual lawsuit. You can read more of the story here. Thanks Adriane.

46 comments:

  1. Schizophrenia?

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  2. Yes! Return of Barking Seal Kim!

    Oh yeah, there's an article to read.

    *puts down herbal breakfast to read*

    #AmIAPothead?ThatsCertainlyDebatable

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  3. what the freak kind of lawyer was actually willing to file this garbage? must have been working out of a room down the hall from the "animal farm"...

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  4. Um, what the........?

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  5. ^ Agreed with above. Pretty sure a trail of logistics will throw this one out. Say what you will about Kartrashian, but she does keep a busy schedule.

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  6. .. more of the article ...
    "The suit meanwhile alleged he "stumbled upon defendants" at a secret Al-Qaeda training camp while "deep in the hills" of West Virginia.

    The plaintiff alleged defendants pledged allegiance to Al-Qaeda, burned the U.S. flag, stomped on President Barack Obama's picture and then Kanye West performed a concert for all Al Qaeda members.

    He also asserted Kim Kardashian launched a rocket at him and Bruce Jenner threw a grenade at his head.

    "They all drank Jim Jones juice and then the defendants got shovels and were digging coal and fracking at mines in West Virginia to get fuel to make weapons of mass destruction and Kris Jenner was enriching uranium," the suit said."

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  7. Just another day in the life of Kim K.

    OT - Speaking of bath salts, did you hear that guy who ate the face off that other guy in Florida, had no bath salts in his system.

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  8. I had that dream once, too.

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  9. FSP - yes, I read about that. I haven't used pot in years - is it different now? The report says pot only, no other drugs.

    As for this suit, is the guy incarcerated? That's where a lot of crazy lawsuits seem to come from.

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  10. I drank a lot of RC Cola when I was a kid. Ate a lot of Goo Goo Clusters and Moon Pies, too. Good times.

    Oh yeah, the lawyer that filed this load of crap should be fined by the judge that throws it out. (Although I have no trouble believing that Kris Jenner would enrich uranium.)

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  11. The guy that wrote this is 'Jonathan Lee Richess ' AKA 'Gino Romano'. Know OF him due to my previous work... I am dying laughing here... He was convicted of credit card and wire fraud... and well, google him. Quite a story:)

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  12. There are unicorns in West Virginia! Whee!

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  13. The FL thing- they are now looking at chemical compounds that are in the weed here is SoFL. Don't know whether it is an import or from a local grow house. Because of the similar incidents that are occurring cross-country they are investigating to see if there are compounds / chemistry points in common.

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  14. I recognize the words as English, I can't understand anything after Ento.

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  15. I say make her answer the charges.

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  16. My mind is so beyond blown right now. It's complete sensory overload. I'm rendered speechless. This story is so Fing amazing.

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  17. Re: the Miami Face Eater, I think the lack of drugs in his system points to organic mental problems and a psychotic break. I'm sure some people are going to want to blame it on pot, though.

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  18. What the...I don't even...

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  19. What did I just read O.o

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  20. HAHAHAHAHAHhaa. WTF?

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  21. He saw a unicorn and didn’t take a pic of it?????

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  22. I lost it at the part where kris Humphries was having sex with Kim k. Most unbelievable part of the whole thing!

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  23. @SusanB, you are correct, he's very familiar with prison.

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  24. I believe it. All of it.

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  25. RE: the Miami face eater - a guy that works for the lab is quoted as saying something about how there are new drugs out there all the time, and the labs are the last ones to know about it. They can't test for an unknown substance - they can only test for things they know about. Also that it costs a fortune to keep coming up with new tests for these new drugs people are making.

    As for this story, I believe the entire thing. Freakin. Awesome.

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  26. This could possibly be the best thing I have ever read!

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  27. So this guy is caught on a sex tape with barnyard animals, an Armenian woman, and two other guys (who is Sinanaj?), and tells the wife this story. And she called his bluff by contacting a lawyer.

    LOL @ EmEyeKay!

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  28. Here is a link to some of the other lawsuits filed by GINO ROMANO aka JONATHAN LEE RICHES.

    http://news.justia.com/cases/jonathan-lee-riches/

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  29. @JesseD, that makes sense. I was wondering if they were even able to test for the specific chemicals reported to be in bath salts. I thought they weren't able to yet, so that's why I was surprised to hear it being reported as, "It wasn't bath salts!" Because, how can they be sure if they don't have the right tests? Or if they don't know exactly what to look for?

    The guy very well could have been on some f'd up new blend of chemicals. Or maybe the pot was laced with something. Regardless, I don't think this was a mentally healthy guy to begin with. A drug could have triggered something that made him go off, but imo, no way is it soley because of a drug. That guy had something organically wrong with him.

    Anyway, to get back on-topic, as funny as this lawsuit is, it pisses me off that resources are being wasted on it.

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  30. Anonymous11:25 AM

    This is the best story I've ever read. Seriously. This maniac should write in Hollywood.

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  31. This one is pretty good too...
    http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/06/kardashians-outrageous-lawsuit-filed-restraining-order-florida-busch-gardens

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  32. @Vanessa, that is the same guy that filed this one ! Amazing.

    He is Gino Romano in this case (aka Jonathan Lee Richess in some of his many other lawsuits).

    He's a convicted felon. Can't wait for somebody to do this movie. Woodie Harrelson could play him.

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  33. I believe every word. Damn unicorns.

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  34. i think it was an alien abduction and they just were wearing Kardashian masks to throw us off.

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  35. Em Your comment wins for funniest today.
    RJ: Nothing like and RC Cola and a MoonPie!

    That was by far the funniest thing I ever read..Priceless.

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  36. I feel compelled to say something due to moonshine being mentioned, but I got nothing. This is messed up, yet interesting at the same time.

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  37. That pic of Kim cracks me up LOLOL

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  38. Unicorns? Defacating on himself? Charlie Sheen showing up? And then finding himself at a Truck Stop? This is almost as good as the Dear Richard letters! Which reminds me - we haven't had one of those in a while and could really use one.

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  39. C'mon, this is a hoax written by The Onion, right? RIGHT?

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  40. Barhsalts strike again?

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  41. My work helped bust the 'author' of this lawsuit on the credit card scheme that he was convicted of.

    He is quite a character ..

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Lee_Riches

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/jonathan-lee-riches-free-578912

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  42. Thanks so much for posting Enty! Agent **It, loved reading about Jonathan, thank you for sharing!

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