Thursday, October 11, 2012

Michael Jackson Doctor Wants Out Of Jail

Conrad Murray must wonder why he can't be like Lindsay Lohan and get out of jail without serving any time. Well, first of all Lindsay has not killed anyone yet. I emphasize the word yet, because I think it is just a matter of time before she is in some kind of car accident that is going to be way worse than just a fender bender. Murray's lawyers say that the 6'5" doctor is having trouble coping with his 5 foot by 7 foot jail cell. Yeah, that is why they call it jail. His lawyers say the doctor is suffering from blood clots because of the lack of mobility that he is allowed and has lost 20-30 pounds. Well, then I guess it is good that he is not mobile or he would have lost more. Note to self. Make a fake jail and have celebrities spend thousands of dollars to live in a cell each month and hype it as the latest weight loss and cleansing solution and that it comes straight from, Europe? No. It has to be some place these jokers have never been. Siberia. A treatment that people have used in the tundras of Serbia for years. It is a money maker. Anyway, Murray would like to go home now and serve the rest of his sentence there. I bet he would. Jail.


33 comments:

  1. Aww, poor baby. Maybe he should have considered these consequences a tad bit earlier.

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  2. Who doesn't want out of jail?

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  3. Hahhahahahahahaha, what? He doesn't like Jail? Why didn't he say so? Jail is obviously supposed to be a resort.

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  4. Anonymous7:11 AM

    Wow, jail sucks? I never would have thought.

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  5. Put him on Coumadin and stick him back in his cell.

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  6. And quadrapalegics want to jump rope.

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  7. I feel for the guy. He made a mess, to be sure, but I just can't hate on him.

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  8. My gut reaction is to say "Ay, Pobrecito", but I feel that's far too kind of a response to this piece of work.

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    1. OMG Frufra!! My grampa has so many stories about a monkey named Pobrecito, but he always pronounces it popocito (or maybe that is the right pronunciation, idk) and I was starting to think it was a made up word.

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  9. He's getting blood clots from lack of mobility? Is he never allowed out of his cell? I know some of the commenters here have experience working in jails/knowledge of it, can someone explain that? Because I thought inmates were free to move around and only had to go in the cells at night.

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    1. It depends. He is likely in ad-seg. That's jail speak for administrative segregation. Many high profile inmates are in ad-seg for their own protection possibly due to threats from other inmates. He's probably out of his cell for one hour a day.

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    2. Btw, I have had friends do time....that's the only reason why I know this!

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  10. Have a hand in the demise of the King of Pop? Spend the rest of your life in an uncomfortable room. Sorry dude, that's the way it works.

    Given how half-baked new reality show ideas are, the fake celebrity jail idea is actually not a bad idea. Some celebs are inmates, others are guards, they meet each week for some kinda Longest Yard contest, and the winning team can either pick up the best of the losing team's roster or dump one of their own.

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    1. Then kick the loser out by "PAROLE". I like it!

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    2. Then kick the loser out by "PAROLE". I like it!

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  11. My gut tells me that Dr Murray and Michael were such good friends, they got too comfortable with the arrangement which means they stop doing the "annoying" safety procedures bc they begin feeling their situation is different than anyone else's so they can overlook safety. I really feel it was an accident.

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    1. I know that this is an unpopular stance to have on this subject but I totally agree with you on this one.

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  12. seaward, it's a Spanish word/phrase, like what you'd say if your kid came home with lots of homework and was all, "Mom, it's so unfair, teacher gave us lots of work tonight", when in reality it's like 20 minutes worth. It's like saying "poor baby", or "bless your little heart" - mildly sympathetic and mildly sarcastic at the same time.

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    1. Yeah, he always told me it meant "poor baby," but when I would try to look up the word, I was looking up the way wrong spelling, haha. He learned it from a woman in a South American village, so I thought maybe it was just her own little word because gramps is the only person I've ever heard use it.
      But now I know!

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    2. Lol. I say "pobrecito" to my daughter all of the time.... She just rolls her eyes.

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  13. The surprise here is that he's 6 foot 5. I had no clue.

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  14. I had no idea there were tundras in Serbia. Damned climate change.

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    1. Siberia is part of northern Russia haha

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  15. @seaward - yay knowledge! Very cool. Also, your gramps sounds like an awesome man. I miss my old people who have crossed over. They always had the very best stories. Hug your grandpa for me :-).

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  16. Actually there's a big difference between "jail" and "prison" and they shouldn't be lumped together (like "communism", "Maoism" and "Syndicalism") but I digress, he should have not been such a quack doctor and over-medicated MJ. This country has a HUGE problem with the opiates, and the doctors are morphing into "Dr. Kervorkians".

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  17. An unpopular stance maybe but I think he should have just lost his doctors license. MJ had problems way before meeting this doctor and I dare say that he would always have died young, just look at the way he looked and the way he lived his life.

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  18. @ Comma Chaser - I love your idea. You need to get ahold of someone STAT before someone steals it.

    As to Conrad - he is in county jail and is in protective custody/ isolation. So apparently he only gets to be out of his cell for short periods of time. Otherwise he would be free to roam the yard all day. They have him their for his safety. I don't feel sorry for him. He do some stretches or whatever. I don't really care. He only has one more year to serve. He was found guilty of a crime and has to serve his punishment (which was actually 4 years but gets out in 2). Not that I don't think MJ didn't get what he deserved either. He was an addict and as far as I'm concerned a pedophile. He knew the drugs he was taking were dangerous. He played Russian roulette one too many times.

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  19. Boo-hooo! You're serving jail time buddy. What do you expect? A jail cell with 5 star hotel amenities? This guy is a freaking joke.

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  20. He's complaining he may never be able to wear boots again.

    Aw.

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  21. Instead of the celeb rehab and weightloss shows they should def have Celebrity Gulag.

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  22. I hear this kind of thing every day and I work in maximum security. This guy would fit right in. Crybabies!

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  23. @katsm0711- it's not a popular idea, but ITA.

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