I'm pretty sure that when Jon Hamm gave an interview to
Rolling Stone, Jennifer Westdfeldt must have been standing right next to him the whole time. It is the only explanation that makes sense for her his assertion that he hates when people talk about his peen. He thinks it is rude. Uh huh. So sayeth the man who will apparently die if he wears a pair of boxers or even a tiny speedo over his precious jewels. I think he loves the attention and the focus on his bulge. If he didn't, then he would have stopped a long time ago.
Jon may want us to stop talking about his peen, but how does the Hammaconda feel?
ReplyDeleteCDaN: "Free the Hammaconda!"
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm absolutely positive that just on this interview alone, people will now stop talking about his penis! I'm sure of it!!
ReplyDeleteFree the Hammaconda!!!
I don't know how the Hammaconda feels, but I'd like to.... ;)
ReplyDelete@Reese- naughty!
DeleteI heard that!!! Mmmm hmmmmmm ;)
DeleteI'll stand in that line for days!
DeleteAwww what a fantastic way to start my day! Thanks for the laughs people!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I am all for FREEING the Hammaconda!!!
You guys are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteGet your Free the Hammaconda T's here (thank you Enty for allowing Xander to do this).
Click here to order shirts
Click here for the original story of IDoTheRobot’s nephew Ben.
Click here for the follow up regarding T-Shirts and donations.
Is the I love Enty available in v-neck?
DeleteLisette, yes.
DeleteHe's such a tease, that one. ;^)
ReplyDeleteThat's like saying Courtney Stodden hates when people talk about her daddy issues. Or Lindsay Lohan hates when people talk about her drama. Or a Kardashian hates when people talk about them period. Translation: Jon Hamm loves it when people talk about the Hammaconda or else he wouldn't flaunt it so much.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteReally ? He could have fooled me..
ReplyDeleteIf the Hammaconda needs a place to hide out, I can think of a spot...
ReplyDeleteMe too care bear. Me too! :-P
DeleteChristina Hendricks is loving this. For two minutes, people aren't talking about her boobs.
ReplyDeleteHe loves the attention, who is he kidding? My husband is well endowed and certain pairs of jeans and shorts make it very obvious. Ill tell him to put boxer briefs on but he'll just smile and say he doesn't care. My husband is modest and will never admit it but I think he likes knowing that people will notice how big his package is. It's like a woman showing off her big boobs. I personally could look at Jon Hamms package all day. That's one sexy man.
ReplyDeleteSong time! @rcb He's too big to fit in here
ReplyDelete"Hey everybody! Stop looking at my enormous penis! I'm so bothered by all the attention my god-given meat-monster penis is receiving, right at the time that my and my penis' show, 'Mad Man' is about to premier our new season. The last thing MM or any show needs is a sex symbol, so PLEASE, will you please everyone stop talking about my doozy-of-a-penis. Yes, it's frankly larger than most and a bit scary in person, but me and my penis, and everyone at 'Mad Men' all have plenty of money and attention, so even though I mention vast tumblr accounts bursting with clear photos of my ginormous penis, please don't go click over there. And if you would all STOP using me and my freakish penis' pap photos as your sick, perverted 'Where's Waldo'-style game, me and my penis---Have I mentioned how girthy it is?---could someday be free from this persistent squawking about how 'totally visible' my penis is and how 'I never wear underwear'. Don't go find those 1000's of readily-available internet pics of my jumbo penis though, whatever you do. And see me & ALL my extremely healthy appendages on the new season of 'Mad Men', premiering soon. But try not to notice my big penis. Please try."
ReplyDelete@libby: Aaahahaha
DeleteBravo @Libby!
DeleteFree the Hammaconda!
@libby you quite simply ROCK I love your posts
Delete@libby, you nailed it!
ReplyDeleteLOL @libby. There is nothing else left to say after that brilliance. Free the Hammaconda!
ReplyDeleteDo you think it has magical powers? Like Voldemort's snake except its not evil, just a horny horn dog?
If you haven't seen it already, Michael K nailed it (pun intended)!
ReplyDeleteHe can say he doesn't like it.
ReplyDeleteWe can continue to talk about it.
I love John Hamm. I do. But I'm glad a man is finally learning what it feels like to be reduced to a body part. Maybe Christina Hendrix can console him since she knows about this all too well.
ReplyDeleteVIP, everyone.......I swear that comment was the same one I used on HuffPo yesterday, but they moderated it out (couldn't say why). I just now read MK, from your link.
ReplyDeleteThe comment was still in my 'Lazarus' add-on. If you use Firefox, GET IT....it saves your last several comments you've made anywhere, and if you 'lose' them, they are right there!
What man wouldn't like everyone talking and lusting over their large peen??? Please- its like a stripper with 38 ddddds saying everyones slways looking at my breasts Lol
ReplyDeletePoor thing, he should come hide out at my place until you all stop gawking at him.
ReplyDeleteYes mikey, i too wld provide a safe haven or some nude swimming so he cld relax.
ReplyDeleteAnd its not for me, it for him. To relax. Lol
Delete@auntliddy - regarding nude swimming...
DeleteThis whole Jon Hamm protesting and being "offended" is so ridiculous.
I'm posting this story under auntliddy's story - because it involved Hamm and nude swimming. Just brought this memory back up in my mind.
A few years ago, I was at a party my friend took me to - and Hamm was there. It was some party/connection thing to do with some acting school they were involved with previously.
At any rate, there was a pool. My friend turns to me and says "Watch the show. I bet you a million dollars he forgot his bathing suit - AGAIN"
My friend gives Hamm side eye from across the room.
And yes, later in the evening, after everyone has had much people start going in the pool. First person to announce to everyone he has no bathing suit, strips naked, then jumps in the pool. Nothing discreet about it. No quietly sliding in over to the side, etc. Made sure everyone heard and saw.
I didn't think much of it at the time, because my family is European, and I don't have any qualms about doing something like that -especially with enough drinks in me).
So - dude knows exactly what he's doing, and is very happy and proud about it, and this is all kinds of bull-oney of "one dost protest too much".
Well, Xander, spill! Was he packing?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete@Izzie @Meanie Reese...
DeleteYou can see it exactly right here
That's the funny thing about all of this. He's specifically wearing pants where the fit and the fabric show literally everything. There is nothing hidden, so he is talking absolute bull of being upset about it all. So there it is, what you see is exactly what you get...
That is also the same thing about underwear and pants, etc. with guys - there are plenty of pant fabric and pant fits that won't put everything on display. Tailors make adjustments in fitting pants for decades to leave room for modesty. He purposely is choosing these pants and fabrics and then complaining.
Libby wrote a perfect description. ;-)
Dudes can hide, camoflage, or be discreet whenever they want. He just doesn't want.
PS - which is why I feel completely justified in making those Free The Hammaconda T-Shirts!
DeleteOh my, xander, idk when i will recover from that story or picture!!!! Thanks!!!
DeleteXander - I think I love you forever for sharing that story!
Delete@katydid said: "I just came back to check this thead, great story Xander! I'm going to have to buy another shirt, although I don't know if the Hub will appreciate "free the hammaconda" I made the mistake a couple of weeks ago of awkwardly explaining to him and his friend what it meant. It was cringe worthy."
DeleteAll of you ladies crack me up, and I lurv you. ;-)
I've been in this business since I was a kid - so there's a ton of stories/experiences - but mostly remember things when there are specifics to spur the details...
At any rate - to katydid - get the T-Shirt, and I'm here to give you perspective from "straight dude" (where I also think that my straight dude buddy at heart @Lucas always gives good perspective and advice)...
So, get the T-Shirt, and tell your husband the shirt and thought remind you of him! Then, wear it whenever you are giving your husband a "secret signal" that you him to free his!
Sexy talk and signals like this, will get him worked up to expect "it" whenever you want...
Just work it out earlier in the day to get him super worked up. ;-)
Then, you win, he wins, and everyone is happy!
Cheers!
Do you think that when the Hammaconda sees its shadow, spring will finally be here? Because I'm tired of cold weather.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ashlea, Peony...
ReplyDeleteDia, I missed your question. Yes, peens like that are magical. There are a few I used to know, which I still I mourn quite specifically. And frequently.
Except one. It was a cylinder as wide as a coke can at the NARROW end. And much longer. The man had a real problem, seriously. He wept about it to me, because he hurt most women, thought he was hopeless etc etc.
A year or so later, I saw him with a girl he was clearly happily dating (all over each other in public). So there's a vag for everyone, and be careful what you wish for, guys. Those are the morals.
Big peen are a magically, double edged sword Lib. I had always heard tales of big peens had never seen or experienced one until I met my husband. It was thrilling at first then I thought, hmm, he's going to stick that where? Long story short, they take some getting used to but are very much worth it! :-P
DeleteIn next month's "Rolling Stone" Kim Kardashian will discuss how she hates people discussing the size of her ass.
ReplyDeleteShe should, but weirdly, she loves it.
DeleteSeachica--The Hammaconda cannot predict weather, but I'm pretty sure I know how to use it as a sundial. And fun to play with too, even when it's too cloudy outside to care what time it is.
ReplyDelete(Did I spell Hammaconda right? How would I even know?!)
As long as its in my face I will continue to look and lust over the Hammaconda. Can't. Not. Look.
ReplyDeleteMicheal K and Libby win the internet today! Jennifer Westerface must be fuming with the chorus cries of "free the hammaconda"
@katydid I haven't finished my coffee yet, so I originally read that as "As long as it hits my face I will continue to look and lust after the Hammaconda" and laughed so hard I spit out said coffee :)
DeleteLibby, that was the greatest moral I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that there is a community of men out there who are so well endowed that they have problems finding women that can handle it and therefore have difficulty maintaining relationships, let alone simply getting laid. It's pretty sad.
But anyway, my real comment about this is "WhatEVER, John Hammaconda."
Stop, you guys. You're killing me. Hey, I have a JOB to do here! In an office. With a phone. Where I continue to just call random phone numbers in the hopes that Jon Hamm will answer.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Westfeldt is the ugliest woman I've ever seen. Like NO PART of her is attractive. Ugh. Is he screwing her out of pity? Does she have pics of the Hammaconda involved in a gay orgy and is blackmailing him? Why is he with her?
ReplyDeleteruby, in my experience, most players LOVE finding an insecure woman to be their steady, always available, always forgives. Keeps up his public appearance too. It's usually a plain-Jane type who keeps what she's able to control about her looks (hair, clothes, make-up) at trophy-level.
ReplyDeleteI know because I've been her a few times. Thank god I could never afford surgery or anything that radical!
It's a form of abuse, but he picked her specifically because she doesn't outshine him, and will take any treatment he dishes out.
I can't stand her as an actress or writer (self-indulgent), but I really empathize to see all those little disappointments he gives her in public. When she smiles & talks right at him and he pretends he doesn't notice or hear...stuff like that. SO heartbreaking.
What Libby said. You don't bring attention to a feature you want people to stop talking about. Gee whiz.
ReplyDeleteSolid gold Libby!!!
ReplyDeleteI think I'm gonna have to buy the Hammaconda shirt. Great.
Dia, RCB, Reese..You girls are all too funny today. I am sitting here LMAO.
Free the Hammaconda! Off to read Michael.
He was one of the few who didn't act like a total whiny bitch about it.
ReplyDelete"It's not like I'm a lead miner. There are harder jobs out there."
Being annoyed is one thing, but at least he doesn't act like a victim. When a celeb does that and I see people boo hooing for them, that's when it becomes eyeroll city.
I see London
ReplyDeleteI see France
The whole world knows
Johnny doesn't wear underpants!
They are talking about this on The Talk. You should hear Wayne Brady. Very funny.
ReplyDeleteLibby, freaking awesome!
ReplyDeleteWe have a 4 day long weekend here in Australia & I am starting it with a 6am personal training session. It is now 5:28 & I appreciate all the laughs before I am tortured.
Xander...yes, do spill!! (I think we all know...)
ReplyDelete"Please! Stop staring at my peen!!" - while pointing at his dick.
ReplyDeleteIt's like the girl who wears a really low cut top and push-up bra and then wonders why all men do is stare at her boobs.
Not every woman who is well endowed (at least naturally) loves the attention on boobs. Believe me. And not every man. It is often more demeaning than complimentary.
ReplyDeleteAs much as i enjoy looking at the Hammaconda, I read his quotes yesterday and thought he sounded like a real asshole.
ReplyDeleteI just came back to check this thead, great story Xander! I'm going to have to buy another shirt, although I don't know if the Hub will appreciate "free the hammaconda" I made the mistake a couple of weeks ago of awkwardly explaining to him and his friend what it meant. It was cringe worthy.
ReplyDelete@VIP sorry I made you spit your coffee I had dirty thoughts along those lines while typing it!
Whatever. We do this to women all the time.
ReplyDelete