Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Goopster Relationship Advice

I don't know how many of you watch Chelsea Handler. I'm sure fewer of you watch it when you know Gwyneth Paltrow is going to be on. Well, there they were together and Chelsea shared some of the Goopster's marriage/relationship advice that Chelsea has heard her give before. I personally don't think Gwyneth has ever followed this advice much like I don't think she has cooked more than 10% of the recipes in her book much like I don't think she knows how much a gallon of milk costs or that milk is made from more than just hand massaged goats from the plains of Mongolia. Basically the advice Gwyneth gives is that when you are angry at your guy, instead of being angry, give him the opposite, show him love and then give him oral sex.

Posted by ent lawyer at 7:30 AM

Labels: ,

45 comments:

  1. Cleodacat7:32 AM

    I don't see her doing it either. Maybe it's in a spiritual way or maybe she just lets him have someone on the side do it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pogue Mahone7:33 AM

    When I'm mad at MY husband *I* just want to give him a frying pan to the FACE!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. auntliddy10:19 AM

      Lol- or i might bite .... by accident.. maybe

      Delete
  3. shopgirl7:37 AM

    Why do actors think their advice on anything other than acting would be of value to the rest of us?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Erin B7:40 AM

    I feel like Gwynnie would think herself to proper to do that. She probably has someone she hires for that & treats it like any other service.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kelly7:42 AM

    Like I always say, the primmest can be freaks in the sheets.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Matt & Jess7:44 AM

    I think that she thinks that she is the perfect woman and that is what "perfect" women do.

    ReplyDelete
  7. libby7:44 AM

    That's not exactly what she said, but it does rile up y'all.

    Btw, that 'advice' she gave was to a friend at a private party, and brought up BY Chelsea Handler, mostly out of context.

    I think Chelsea tries too hard to be Howard Stern, with her interviews.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Harry Knuckles7:46 AM

    Maybe Gwynnypoops is on a mission to make herself more likable. Good luck with that.

    ReplyDelete
  9. libby7:46 AM

    I mean in that she will talk about anything, because she saw how it got Howard so much $$$.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous7:46 AM

    Nice idea, but how is he going to know he's screwed up? It's like giving a dog a treat when it's peed on the carpet. I don't get the logic of it. But I guess she was feeling naughty talking to what's her name.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous7:48 AM

    I agree Libby, Handler seems to just say the most shocking thing she can, like Lampanelli or Silverman, just to push that boundary where you're mouth is hanging open in shock that someone, especially a woman would be so foul mouthed and filthy. Not very imaginative in my book, but some folks like her.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Mama Ray7:51 AM

    I think it kills her to be named most hated and is trying to come off less uptight. Blow job stories on Chelsea and pubic hair on Ellen...

    ReplyDelete
  13. S.joy7:53 AM

    I need the actual quotes! Sometimes Enty just sums things up for us or gives his opinion of what he THINKS the person was saying. Just another reason for people to comment on how annoying she is lol

    ReplyDelete
  14. Mama Ray7:54 AM

    Yes Chelsea is obnoxious and brought it up, but Gwyn was the one announcing that she rocked a full bush on Ellen...

    ReplyDelete
  15. MrsAmiss7:57 AM

    If the blind is true that's it's her trying to paint herself in a good light ahead of her pending divorce I think she is shocked its not working. I feel bad for Chris Martin. I'm not saying he is a good person or blameless but he seems to avoid drama and public confrontation and she had never shied away from throwing him under the bus in interviews.

    ReplyDelete
  16. SusanB7:58 AM

    When I'm mad at my husband the LAST thing he'd let me do is give him a blow job. He'd be afraid I'd bite it off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MrsAmiss8:03 AM

      If I want from screaming to suddenly wanting to put it in my mouth my husband said he'd call the cops

      Delete
  17. libby8:07 AM

    It's funny, because when I watched that Ellen clip, I saw a woman who basically stuck her foot in her mouth by commiserating about bikini line issues we all have sometimes, then dug herself deeper by 'joking' that she liked to keep a 70's bush, then realized it had just gotten worse...and was embarrassed she had gone there. But I don't dislike her, so my glasses are not poop-colored when she's on, y'know?

    Yeah, she's rich and clueless is never going to be my friend. I still like her fine. I think she's very charming, I even find her a bit fragile and naive. Like she's not the smartest, but it doesn't bother me. I usually like her movies, and always have.
    Do co-stars ever say bad things about her? Is she late or demanding or a diva? I've never heard it.

    If anyone's heard diva stories, please share. And yes, I know about her & Winona & Harvey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. portlandjewel8:19 AM

      I like her too. I don't understand why every one hates her so much. So what if her goop target audience is her wealthy peers, that's what she's know all her life.

      Delete
  18. nevermindthat8:10 AM

    Screw Gwen, I saw my hubby RDJ Monday Night at a private screening of IM 3 in Times Square. He made a surprised appearance.

    The movie was awesome and so was he. I wish I had worn my Not Now Iron Man tee.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anon8:23 AM

    Can add her to the list of "white people that even whitefolks can't stand".

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mama Ray8:32 AM

    For what it's worth, I am an occasional fan depending on the project, and certainly not normally a hater. I'm hoping I'm not coming across like a troll on this one...

    I just thought it was more than coincidence that almost immediately after being named most hated celeb then these 'embarrassing' things keep being brought up in interviews. Maybe I'm too jaded assuming it is intentional. I also was under the impression after listening to many celeb interviews on podcasts, etc. who have acknowledged that when doing the late night circuit that no matter how off the cuff the interviews seem, the comments & topics have already been discussed & cleared with the celeb in advance.

    But can we agree that if her next interview mentions ass to ass, that maybe I'm on to something here? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sydney212218:37 AM

    @Libby;
    It's an interesting point you raise, because Lainey's said time and time again, how well liked she is by her peers.
    http://www.laineygossip.com/Gwyneth-Paltrow-hangs-out-with-Sarah-Jessica-Parker-and-Kate-Hudson-and-another-French-video-with-Robert-Downey-Jr/26586

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sydney212218:40 AM

    And for what it's worth, I like her too.

    I've shared a story before about how she used to take her daughter to my cousin's dance class, not the nanny, Goop herself and would stay until the class had ended to take Apple home.

    My cousin said she was one of the most politest, nicest and down to earth people she's come across. Bear in mind, that these aren't posh dance studios by any means, pretty basic so not necessarily comfortable. But she was always, polite, pleasant and very low key. Didn't want or expect any special treatment for herself or Apple.

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Black Cat8:55 AM

    If these stories are to make her more likeable I don't think the plan is working.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Magsey9:22 AM

    Just don't try it if you grind your teeth when angry.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Bleu9:22 AM

    Okay, I get it now. Could she be a bigger fucking fake ass?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous9:25 AM

    I feel bad about hating on the Goop. I watched the french video with her and RDJ out of curiosity about their dynamic. She seems nice, self deprecating in a sense, down to earth, like a nice girl, just a little gangly and awkward, but overall pleasant, positive, kind and sunny. I can't hate on her anymore. Carb Starving her kids, pretentious cook books aside, but if she's cool by him, then she can't be THAT lame.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. nevermindthat2:46 PM

      Maybe my hubby (RDJ) is still attracted to her. He admitted that about 20 years ago he tried to pick her up at a film festival. Maybe he's still crushing on her.

      Delete
  27. Shit You Can't Buy9:28 AM

    Sperm probably contains too many calories for her. Not believing it.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Shit You Can't Buy9:33 AM

    Tbh, I don't know where my Goop-hate comes from. A lot of stars are pretty pretentious but she just really rubs me the wrong way. I have the exact same thing with Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz. Something about them just screams 'fake'. When I am watching an interview I can't help but roll my eyes at Cameron trying to be the funny tomboy, Gwyneth trying to be the relaxed woman, who reaaaaaallly is easy to live with and Jennifer as the woman who is sweet, funny and not annoying at all. All I do is roll my eyes.. I can't help it.
    Guess some people just really rub me the wrong way.

    ReplyDelete
  29. MISCH9:34 AM

    When I'm pissed at my sweetie I don't even want to see his face...

    ReplyDelete
  30. mooshki9:45 AM

    @shopgirl - because swarms of people follow them around everywhere trying to find out every little detail of their lives, and people on the internet lap up every little tidbit? You can't put this on the stars - the public is obsessed with them.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Sylvia9:52 AM

    Sounds strange all this new stuff that is coming up with FishStick.

    (1) Appearing at Iron 3 premier in an ugly dress and not wearing panties

    (2) Giving bad advice...Who would want to give a bj when you are pissed at your partner?

    (3) What's next???

    ReplyDelete
  32. Count Jerkula9:52 AM

    Why does Chris Martin like BJs so much?

    10 minutes of peace and quiet. BOOM!


    ReplyDelete
  33. D Brown10:17 AM

    I recall a blind a year or so ago about the actress who would only have sex in the missionary position and nothing else. Goopy was the almost unanimous suggestion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. nevermindthat2:48 PM

      @D Brown I thought the popular guess was Nicole Kidman

      Delete
  34. ureallyannoyme10:40 AM

    D Brown, there was also a blind years and years ago about an actress who left her planner on a plane and on the schedule she'd written "blow xx." Guess was Gwen and either Brad or Ben.

    ReplyDelete
  35. lazyday60311:59 AM

    The Hathaway and Paltrow hate is a wider world version of the cheerleader hate seething among the general populace of most high schools.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Unknown3:51 PM

    Did she make a recommendation on swallowing or spitting? Facials?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Count Jerkula4:04 PM

    She probably fellates him when he comes back home, after argument cool down time, so she can taste where he's been.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Unknown4:43 PM

    Count- great post on how directors are giving it away on the casting couch and should be demanding more than onetime session- I like your style.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Beta7:34 AM

    add me to the Goop fans.

    ReplyDelete

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