Thursday, July 18, 2013

Lindsay Lohan Wants A Baby - To Stay Clean

Apparently the only way Lindsay Lohan thinks she can stay clean and sober is by having a baby. She probably does not realize she would need to quit smoking and taking Adderall too, but that is beside the point. According to The Enquirer, Lindsay has asked several of her guys friends to be a sperm donor for her. So far, none of the guys have accepted her offer. Would you want to be the guy who donated sperm to what would be a tragic situation? Remember when Paris Hilton kept losing her dogs because she was so interested in partying? What do you think is going to happen to this kid? If I were Child protective Services, I would be setting up residence inside Lindsay's house and when she delivered the baby, just take the baby from her then to save the time and trouble of coming back in a few weeks to get the baby. I know the story is crap, but can you imagine if it is true. Can you imagine Lindsay Lohan pregnant?

36 comments:

Henriette said...

Did I miss that it was April 1?

greenmountaingal said...

She should be sterilized.

AJ said...

I don't think anyone deserves to be sterilized but she really needs to look back on her own childhood and think about how she could totally screw up someone else's life like her parents did.

Diane said...

Of couse, lets have a baby because having a baby will solve all problems in the world. Fucking stupid.

fuzzygalored said...

time for them to put the Norplant implant in her arm. birth control for 5 years.

fuzzygalored said...

and we all see how well this plan worked for Brooke Mueller

Robert said...

She should probably be spayed. That'd solve that problem for good.

Charlotte. said...

She doesn't want a baby to stay clean and sober, she wants a baby to stay relevant and papp'd

sandybrook said...

She wants the hid so she can get child support money for all her habits like Brooke gets

Unknown said...

Oh dear god, please NO

Tyger Lilly said...

She is a very smart girl - she learned from her mother that you can only support your booze & drug habits for so long on your own. The wisest thing to do is to have 5-6 kids before her uterus turns into a toxic waste dump. God willing at least one of them isn't a web-footed brain-damaged freak she can pimp around Hollywood to make her some money until that kid eventually burns out at or sues her for emancipation at 13.

Bacon Ranch said...

Here's what I wish.
I wish that every time one of the writers for this site typed the names Lohan,Kardashian or Hilton their fingers would break out into hives and blisters and frogs would rain onto their roof.

Quite with this sh*t already. Nobody cares. Give us good stuff to read.

MISCH said...

How many abortions has she had in the past ?

Karen said...

Guys, there is no way that LiLo actually wants a baby. Even the Enty wrote that she knows the story is crap.

HannahBanana said...

In this case, yes she should. That is one bloodline that needs to stop.

Anonymous said...

A-fuckin-men. This scares me. There seems to be a correlation between being a fucked up waste of skin and fertility.

AndrewBW said...

Frankly I'm shocked she hasn't had six kids already.

Gayeld said...

They don't have to camp out at her house. They can just wait for the hospital to call them and pick the baby up at their leisure. That's what they did with my sister, booted her a$$ out of the hospital and kept the baby.

auntliddy said...

you know, after WW2, all of hitlers relatives relocated and no one had any children, by chance or design, no one knows, but it ended the line. I suggest Lohans do likewise. so no, no baby for the drug whore and her idiotic family.

AJ said...

Someone I knew, used Norplant years ago after she was done having kids. She got pregnant and it caused serious complications from the Norplant. That stuff is BAD !!! I don't think the pregnancy was even viable but I remember that she had to have emergency surgery. Sad times :/

As for Lindsay, no one deserves to have the option of having kids taken away from them. That's barbaric. She's a mess and probably should NOT have children but that is her choice alone. Maybe she wants to give a child the up bringing she didn't have but she has to ask herself if she is capable of doing that.

I hope she can just get her act together for real before she has a child. She has wasted so many chances.


crila16 said...

Are you kidding? As soon as that kid is old enough to walk, she'll have her child doing a drug run for her.

Anonymous said...

I remember being at a party when I was 17, and this little boy walks out & says to his mum "mummy are you going to pack another cone?"
LiLo will be doing lines off her baby's change table.

Sue in MO said...

With all the attention given to "baby bumps" lately, even if you are hovering around dropping below "D" list (Look how great it worked for Kristin Cavallari) I'm not surprised if down the road she doesn't see this as a way to stay relevant. I honestly don't see her career picking up. She's got too much history and is too unreliable. Although Dina would be all over this in a heartbeat if she could make a few bucks off it herself, somehow I don't see her thinking of herself as "grandma" just yet.

Fluffy White Clouds said...

@Bacon Ranch you made m lol!

Lindsey is nuts. I am a pretty compassionate person and I have none for her. Ugh.

Think if this is rumor is true she doesn't have a shot at sobriety.

Super F*cking Awesome Katelyn said...

She's probably infertile because of all the STDs

B626 said...

Yes when she is passed out. She'll just keep thinking things got a little ruff the nite before

car54 said...

Can't she just borrow her father's new baby and see how much work it is?

Silly Girl said...

She saw how much attention Beyonce, Katie Holmes, Michelle Williams, Kimye, etc, received from having a baby, so she wants to do the same. Fucking disgusting. Here's one time I almost hope the 27 club gets a new member. Almost. I don't wish death on anyone, so it's a tough one.

Rose said...

@auntliddy, is that true? That's really interesting.

White.God.of.Fuck said...

Blohan has been pregnant many times. She got scraped each time. She takes care of her babies.

I live to pick up bitches in abortion clinics. Throw a few drinks down their throats and you are in like Flynnnnafter all, you know a bitch is a real garbage slut if she's getting a scrape. I just tell 'em they have to get bsck up and ride the horse cock again.

My weekend beats your year.

jbeebs said...

Well it worked for Nicole Richie(allegedly).
*sarcasm btw*

Anonymous said...

like she could carry a baby to term with all the drugs and booze in her system? and she could stay clean? that's a good one. And Chris Brown is just misunderstood and talented.

Count Jerkula said...

If that crazy broad is itchin for a kid, the only safe place for a trick to deposit his man spackle is in a rubber and flush is right away.

I could picture that mess burpin up cum and tryin to cram it in her baby hole, while thoughts of child support checks from the Saudi National Bank dance in her head.

auntliddy said...

Yes, saw and learned about it in a documentary.

iheartjacksparrow said...

Her child would be the epitome of a crack baby because there is no way LiLo is going to stay clean for anything or anyone.

Mango said...

@ Massive G - Let's face it: You are going to die a virgin.

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