Blind Item #11
This former A list mostly movie actor who has stayed A list for several decades has now mainly moved to television. The very straight actor showed up at the emergency room this week with "an object in his anus" that needed to be removed. That was probably an uncomfortable ride to the hospital.
Look, if Kevin likes it when Kyra sticks a finger or some beads up there, well, good for him.
ReplyDeleteYou keep your head up, buddy!
@NomNom I like this!
DeleteThe guess, not the random object up the butt. You know what I mean.
Agree on the Kevin guess! You can tell he and Sedgwick are freaky!!! Just a side note, I was at an enviro thing they hosted once, yrs ago. Bless their hearts, they are uhm, not especially bright. Or well informed. She looked better in person than I expected, so there's that.
DeleteOh, Clint, how could you?
ReplyDeleteAh, the stories that every ER nurse or doctor has about things they have to remove from asses. Always a fun conversation.ER nurses are the most fun at the bar.
ReplyDeleteI want to hear some!!!!! Heres ine from me: I worked at gyn office years ago. Man came in with his younger wife who didnt speak good english. She had a bar of siap stuck in her vagina. While dr extracating it, which was difficult as it was slippery, somehow wifes leg got hit and supercslightly touched with hot leg for nano second. Dont you know they sued the dr? And had to sut uo there in court and tell hiw she had to go to dr ti have bar of soap remived from her vagina, and how it got up there and why THEY cldnt get it out-i mean i woulda just forotten the whole thing!!!!!! You know that lawsuit was HIS idea. They got some bullshit amt to make it all gi away midway thru trial, after everyone and their grandmother knew he was sticking soap up her vgina and how it was sooo slippery to get out.
DeleteI hereby spologize for my shitty typing.
DeleteDon't apologize @Auntliddy, the typos made the story! Hotleg!
DeleteMeant hot light!!!
DeleteLol i was wondering about the hotleg!
Delete@Aunt Liddy that was great. I love your stories. The typos are the best part. :-)
DeletePeople are so weird.
ReplyDeleteOh Kristin.....just for a second there
ReplyDeleteAt first I read breadsticks instead of beads. In my defense, I just woke up.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Except for the chatty ER personnel, they're getting to be just as bad as sex shop employees for yakking.
ReplyDeleteIf it was Sean Penn then it was probably his own head.
ReplyDeleteI was a gastroenterology nurse for years, and I think the most interesting thing we ever removed was a string of Christmas lights.
ReplyDeleteAnd technically speaking, I believe Enty means the rectum, not the anus.
@Flashy Vic, Hahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteRobin Williams
ReplyDeleteJames Spader
Kevin Bacon
In my dreams this is Rob Lowe circa 1990
ReplyDeleteWas thinking KB too. However, aren't the rich/famous able to have this kind of thing dealt with in the privacy of their own home?
ReplyDeleteIt's an exit, not an entrance!
ReplyDeleteThats okay,Liddy, fingers are almost as difficult to work on a phone as Palmolive is to get out of a minge.
ReplyDeleteAs a nurse, I can honestly say that we LOVE "foreign object" patients! They keep us giggling for a good long time. They are NOT rarities, either.
ReplyDeleteAnd TTM, you don't know that it was any ER staff who blabbed. It could have been the guy's driver…or his sex partner.
ReplyDeleteRichard Gere, lil gerbil skeleton on the x-ray.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, possibly Robin Williams. Working with Buffy probably drove him back to drugs, and after 36 hours of cocaine binge, everything is on the table trying to get a nut.
P.S. Cosmo article: 20 Things Found in Butts. Pics of all the x-rays.
ReplyDeleteWas it a broken champagne bottle?
ReplyDeleteI'm going with Alec Baldwin on this one.
ReplyDeleteA little up the bum, no harm done.
ReplyDeleteLOL @ Jacq!
ReplyDeletelol @all
ReplyDeleteMy friend was an ER nurse. The guy came in with a vibrator stuck way up his butt and the vibrator was still running. They were preparing an OR and the doc said to my friend, go see if the vibrator is still running or if the batteries went dead yet. She said how am I supposed to tell that. Doc said, see if he still has a big smile on his face.
ReplyDeleteThis has to be Spader, right?
ReplyDeleteomfg I love this post so much. Keep the comments rolling!
ReplyDeleteSeems to me that if you can stick it up your butt it will probably come out much like a turd. Why go to emergency room unless it is something that might break inside you or is somehow shaped so that it will not come back out.
ReplyDelete@Texas: Generally they tell you to used toys w/ a wide base, so it doesn't get lost in there. With a square base, like a vibe or a dong, it can jam up. Like if it is cocked to the side a little, the flat base can hit the side while you are trying to push it out. Something smaller, like a Matchbox car, can go side ways and be too wide for the opening.
ReplyDeleteI think there was a prank in the first or second Jackass movie where one of the guys jammed a matchbox car up his ass and then went to to a local doctors office complaining of pain. They took xrays and you could clearly see the car but he denied to the dr that he put it up there then admitted he had gotten drunk and passes out at his friends.
DeleteAs long as it wasn't a gerbil.
ReplyDelete@Count: Damnit man. Now I will never look at the beloved Matchbox cars of my childhood in the same fashion
ReplyDelete@Charlie, I take it you've never seen Jackass then?
ReplyDelete@FlashyVic, your comment wins the day!
My hubby is a doc and his favorite story is about a guy they removed a Prell shampoo from. The guy explained that he "slipped in the shower". My hubby's rresponse..."Do you always put Vaseline on your shampoo bottles?"
ReplyDeleteAlec Baldwin? That would be hilaaaaairious. Or notmaybe
ReplyDeleteThis is my kind of thread. Really rough day -- thanks for the laughs, CDaNers!
ReplyDelete@SuzyQ, I would like to extend a side eye thank you for making everyone in line at Costco stare at me when I burst out laughing!
ReplyDeleteFun thread! Y'all really have this guy pegged ;)
ReplyDeleteFrosty: I see what you did there.
DeleteThe strangest story I've heard was when a couple of very conservative friends decided to make out in some long grass and a spider somehow managed to climb up into her doo-dacky. She could feel it moving around and it had managed to climb way up ... didn't think it was possible, but anyway, it is ... and they ended up doing keyhole surgery to remove it. Revoltingly, it lived to tell the tale. So many questions ... but I didn't bother going there. Needless to say they haven't ventured on the wild side since.
ReplyDeletePaul Giamatti
ReplyDeleteLove these types of convos. A few months ago we removed a detangler bottle from a poor fella's bum. The one that's shaped like a fish.. He couldn't even say he "fell in the shower" with that one. When we asked him why he said he wanted to try something different. Moral of the story - switching brands can be dangerous ;0)
ReplyDelete