Yes Paris, my ass is getting its own dress. It's custom! And Naya should know not to mess with me after she lost her job and her man. You're welcome, thirsty hooker!
As if Beyonce would wear something that you designed! You're so annoying, Rob! I can't believe I let mom talk me into letting you come. We've had to widen the aisle because of you! Twice!!
Rob, I just got off the phone with mom. She said that she told the hotel to cut you off from room service until the wedding, and she wants to talk to you about getting an endorsement with Jenny Craig
I'll stop after this trip, I promise. I've never had a chance to poopsterbate after eating all this French food and I wanna see how this turns out. I'm having some Aligot right now. I'll let you know how it goes. I know you've tried it too, Brody. Should I send you a picture since you aren't here with the rest of your whole family?
Well, Rob, they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. And that's a low blow, man. I'm trying to put the past behind us with my dad, but shit like this doesn't help!
i can't wait for the day i see no more of those stupid sleeves (lily allen), or long, see-through skirts, or assymetrical hemlines. ICK!! hideous trends, every one of them.
Petra & Aishwarya! Hello K-krew!!! How are wedding preparations going and how EXCITED are you?!
PS: I hear Brody will not be attending, is this true? Brody was a real douchenugget to my brother at a bar a few years back, but day drinking in Manhattan Beach gets the best of us. Brody simply MUST attend the wedding of the millennium!
I can't stand the stupid flared jeans over high heels or platforms especially when the jeans goo all the way to the ground. It looks so stupid, kind of like one of those shaggy haired horses that have the long hair over their hooves. I'm looking at you heidi!
Ryan Gosslings was on that photo? I didn't notice. Those things are super famiar to me, but Christina's still stop me in my tracks. They suit her well. Well Done Dr. Hooters!
Hey guys!
ReplyDeleteChristina Hendricks is gorgeous.
BRUCE!
DeleteWe miss you!
DeleteHi Bruce! I would motorboat Joan like Lionel Richie!
DeleteBEHAVE
DeleteI was minding my own business, vaguely checking out the women, when BAM... there was Karl. I think I yelled out loud. Dude gives me the willies.
ReplyDeleteLagerfeld is a genius
Deletehttp://www.thestar.com/life/fashion_style/2014/01/21/kim_kardashian_hits_paris_as_karl_lagerfeld_speaks_out_against_french_president_couture_2014.html
Yes he is, baby! I love you so much!! It's almost here - can't wait!!
DeleteSaw your dress
DeleteWas a mess
Can't contest
You the best
Got my girl
Winds unfurled
Got a pearl
In a plastic world
LOL @ Eva Longoria photobombing KL
ReplyDeleteBeyonce is such a basic bitch. She better not try to ditch my wedding!!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Kimmy, if Ye throws a couple tracks Solange's way, I'll bet she'll throw Bey in a trunk and enforce her arrival!
DeleteThanks Kokes!! I knew I could count on you to have my back on this!
DeleteDoes your ass get it's own dress?
DeleteKim, I already had to call security on that stalker Naya. She was trying to hide in the cake before they baked it! Dumb bitch!
DeleteParis, you basic anal wart. You wish you had a Kardashian Kaboose
DeleteI found Naya in the cake when I was sneaking bites of batter straight out of the bowl.
DeleteSo do you Khloe.
DeleteYes Paris, my ass is getting its own dress. It's custom! And Naya should know not to mess with me after she lost her job and her man. You're welcome, thirsty hooker!
Deleteparis france not paris hilton. ROB YOU MAY NOT BRING HER NOT HER DAY NOT HER DATE.
DeleteHi Kimmy!and Ray
ReplyDeleteI think I heard her say she needs to count her socks that night, Kim. You'd better not count on her showing up to your wedding.
ReplyDeleteAs if Beyonce would wear something that you designed! You're so annoying, Rob! I can't believe I let mom talk me into letting you come. We've had to widen the aisle because of you! Twice!!
DeleteMan, this French food is delicious! I can't stop eating crepes!
DeleteDammit Rob, there's croissant crumbs all over my bed! Pull yoself together!
DeleteStop eating Rob!!! There isn't enough time to let your suit out again, and you are NOT wearing sweatpants to my wedding!!!!
DeleteI got an elastic waistband put into my tux pants, hooker. Bring on the coq au vin!
DeleteRob, I just got off the phone with mom. She said that she told the hotel to cut you off from room service until the wedding, and she wants to talk to you about getting an endorsement with Jenny Craig
DeleteAre you whoring for Jenny Craig now? What happened to Quick Trim?
DeleteKris needs AA so she can just shut up about me and my issues.
You should join him fat butt.
DeleteMy ass makes money, honey!
Delete....for Save the Whales...
DeleteThat's rich coming from someone whose ass is responsible for McDonalds last quarterly profits!!
DeleteWhy, yes, I am rich. Thanks for asking.
DeleteWhere is Nori? How many nannies did you bring with you to take care of your baby?
Rob, you know we only bring three nannies when we travel. The rest stay at home
DeleteHey dad. Guess I won't see you at the wedding after all. So much for making me a part of this family
ReplyDeleteBrody, I'd switch places with you in a hot second. Kim will not shut her whore mouth up about me and my appearance. I can't help it, I love to eat!
DeleteRob, Kim's whore mouth gave you the means and opportunity to be a sock emperor. You should be grateful!
DeleteRob, it's a little sad that you'll be hitting the buffet while I'm here doing cock pushups. Time to hit the gym, buddy!
DeleteCock pushups all day long. My shit is large and in charge. Never deny that.
DeleteNow where did I put that croque-madame I was eating.
Is that a poopsterbation reference, Rob? Because you have to stop doing that
DeleteI'll stop after this trip, I promise. I've never had a chance to poopsterbate after eating all this French food and I wanna see how this turns out. I'm having some Aligot right now. I'll let you know how it goes. I know you've tried it too, Brody. Should I send you a picture since you aren't here with the rest of your whole family?
Delete#SD #STFU ROB
DeleteWell, Rob, they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. And that's a low blow, man. I'm trying to put the past behind us with my dad, but shit like this doesn't help!
DeleteYeah, you're right Brody. I guess I was just jealous that you didn't want to give me a hand hug. What can I say, I'm a Pisces. We're emotional.
DeleteIt's okay, Rob. Us family outcasts have to stick together!
DeleteOh good God Rob, the bidets in France must be working overtime with you around.
DeleteLord Disick in the house! If you get sick of the fam in France, come back and hang with me and my chick and her friends!
DeleteBrody don't tell anyone but I'm ready for a stiff drink.
DeleteSpending time with my step family will do that to you!
DeleteThere ya go, Milla, no excess bag fees for you!
ReplyDeleteAishwarya is looking amazing
ReplyDeleteBrody, I love you but I think you're being a big baby. Man up and come stag! I am.
ReplyDeleteDad, you've seen my new chick. You think I'm going to kick that out of bed for someone's third wedding? Fist bump!
DeleteAnd this is exactly why you didn't get a plus one, Brody!
DeleteThey're going for 73 days. A new Kim record!
DeleteDid Khloe bring French? If so, I'd be pissed, Brody. That dude is shady.
DeleteRob he's French, he belongs here more than any of us, no?
DeleteHey LD! You ready to go shopping?
DeleteI was born ready honey
DeleteKhloe! I've missed you. I'd motorboat her too. Hahaha
ReplyDeleteMissed you too Brucie! Nothing like the most beautiful city in the world to reunite a family! Sorry Brody!
DeleteWTF is with that guys face in the photobomb shot?
ReplyDeleteHis nose...his mouth..
Is it the flash that made it look that way?
Aishwarya Rai is the most beautiful woman in the world. People mag has had it wrong every year. Except for Lupita, she's beautiful too.
ReplyDeleteI had to copy/paste her name, but I love Aishwarya's dress.
ReplyDeleteI've seen what Saffron does to her lovers and repeat the BACK OFF request.
Hahahahahaha Brody! You're right, it is a third marriage. We all know those dont count as much. Wait a minute...
ReplyDeleteWhere's Scott? Because that deserves a hand hug!
DeleteBadass hand hug!
Delete*YAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWNNNNN!!!!!!!*
ReplyDeleteRED BULL
DeleteTl, dr
DeleteROB I Dont like him either!He's up to no good and I know it!
ReplyDeleteI didn't put him on the guest list. We're having a klassy wedding
DeleteThat's some basic bullshit that I couldn't bring French to France. Klassy my ass, shake yo tits!
DeleteSorry Kokes! I let Ye make the call
DeleteI'll keep an eye on him for you, Bruce. I know how you feel about confrontations.
ReplyDeleteLily Allen sitting down or standing up.
ReplyDeleteKarl Lagerfeld when he was a fatso.
Petra Nemcova contemplating something.
Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is one of the 2 prettiest girls in the history of the world. Gong Li is the other one.
P: Longoria/Chastain/Moore triple threat - Karl can watch if he likes.
ReplyDeleteM: Hendricks
B: Mila
Aishwarya is seriously always gorgeous! And Julianne Moore is stunning as well.
ReplyDeleteOh big Karl- his lack of food explains his extreme bitchiness, guy wants to unleash his inner fat kid.
ReplyDeleteAnd is that some weird photoshop on Petra? They aren't large but her chest looks bolted on
Don't think it's any kind of photo shop on Petra, urban. They look natural to me.
Deletei can't wait for the day i see no more of those stupid sleeves (lily allen), or long, see-through skirts, or assymetrical hemlines. ICK!! hideous trends, every one of them.
ReplyDeleteThe photo bomber in the Lagerfeld photo looks like she just got a call "7 days..."
ReplyDeleteAishwarya Rai Bachchan is the most beautiful woman in the world. Absolutely stunning.
ReplyDeleteoh, FFS...
ReplyDelete-----------
oh WOW! There's Heidi. Haven't seen her in a while.
((eyeroll))
Petra & Aishwarya! Hello K-krew!!! How are wedding preparations going and how EXCITED are you?!
ReplyDeletePS: I hear Brody will not be attending, is this true? Brody was a real douchenugget to my brother at a bar a few years back, but day drinking in Manhattan Beach gets the best of us. Brody simply MUST attend the wedding of the millennium!
Eva, Aish, Ryan & Christina... All looking amazing.
ReplyDeleteMarion has great style.
The crazy photobomber is Barabara Palvin :)
ReplyDeleteGood one crila! I couldn't stop checking out that picture. I think you're right, female. Frightened.
ReplyDeleteSoon to be paid a visit through her tv.
Noooo Sara, I looked her up :(
ReplyDeleteFirst pic looked like Beibers twin
I can't stand the stupid flared jeans over high heels or platforms especially when the jeans goo all the way to the ground. It looks so stupid, kind of like one of those shaggy haired horses that have the long hair over their hooves. I'm looking at you heidi!
ReplyDeleteLife in Cincinnati must truly suck huh KTrash?
ReplyDeleteAishwarya Rai does not even belong on this planet. She is much too glorious.
ReplyDeleteI really want Christina and Ryan to be a couple. No reason, really.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCount, I like the idea of a triple but with those three I would save Longoria to change the sheets and clean up the mess after.
ReplyDeleteCrazy ass Kanye Blind in HSK today
ReplyDeleteRyan Gosslings was on that photo? I didn't notice.
ReplyDeleteThose things are super famiar to me, but Christina's still stop me in my tracks. They suit her well.
Well Done Dr. Hooters!