Blind Item #14 - A Dancing Boy Blind Item
So I have a new/old source for certain goings on in Africa and the Arab world, including the mideast to Hollywood dancing boy pipeline: this is my most recent twitter follower - a certain senior foreign correspondent, and mideast bureau chief during the aughts. (More than 20% of my high school graduating class went to the same college, including her. [Okay, so it was just two people, out of twelve...] We made the transcon journey together, in her playboy dad's luxury sedan, along with an extremely large trunk full of apparently secret belongings [I wasn't allowed to look inside]. We were denied lodging in Alabama because we weren't married [maybe, I guess, shoulda stopped in Vegas {ironic we were banned from the inn, because, it turned out, a certain law enforcement/judicial convention was taking place, very probably including someone who had been banned from the mall}]. I also learned that the South is full of teen fast food workers very eager to leave [as in: where you guys going? a: *** **** q: can I come? a: no, but thanks] and alligator tastes like an old boot.)
When I get to the college times material, there will likely be a road trip short about that. You can imagine who we met up with in a certain southern college town (the one, I mean, in the peach-themed state), and the story he has to tell. (Spoiler alert: Walter's bbq had closed down.) What happens when we reach our destination? The aforementioned luxury sedan explodes. We should've been inside at the time...
When I get to the college times material, there will likely be a road trip short about that. You can imagine who we met up with in a certain southern college town (the one, I mean, in the peach-themed state), and the story he has to tell. (Spoiler alert: Walter's bbq had closed down.) What happens when we reach our destination? The aforementioned luxury sedan explodes. We should've been inside at the time...
Damn Geel, you feeding DB info now? ;)
ReplyDeleteIsnt DB gay?!
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck is this guy trying to say? I never understand anything he ever writes.
ReplyDeleteMe too. I don't know what he is trying to tell us at all.
DeleteRead twice; I'm lost.
DeleteMy breath isn't exactly bated.
ReplyDeleteOH.MY.GOD. I know who the dancing boy is!!!!! HOLY CRAP! I ain't saying! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I might faint!
ReplyDeleteLet’s see you think.
Delete@cruzzer2
DeleteHe's been named here a few times, but I would rather not say since he's still a private citizen and uses a pen name professionally.
Go to his second blind from January (I think) and scroll waaaaayyyyyy down in the comments. If you want to verify...
Wait I thought dancing boy was gay??
DeleteThe fuck is this?
ReplyDeleteI've got nothing but the town figured out on this one. Athens, GA home of the University of Georgia. Former home of Walter's BBQ.
ReplyDeleteAthens Georgia, UGA...Montgomery Alabama, Roy Moore...ROLL TIDE!! 😂
ReplyDeleteAthens GA, met Michael Stipe / REM cause half of his blinds are about hilm
ReplyDeleteREM, Indigo Girls and B52s came out of athens
KC?
ReplyDeleteDancing boy seems like its got more fucking writers than Himmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteTwo out of twelve people is only 16.7%, not "more than 20%." Fake news, unsubscribe!
ReplyDeleteI speak Russian, and sometimes I'll see something in a language that LOOKS similar but isn't the same, like Ukrainian or Bulgarian, and I'll get this weird feeling like "this looks like it should make sense, but it's gibberish." I get that same feeling when I read Dancing Boy blinds.
ReplyDeleteExcellent analogy. From what I can tell, this isn’t even a blind. But what the fuck do I know? It’s borderline gibberish. Like schizophrenic stream-of-consciousness word salad. I used to love this site until Dancing Boy, Gabe Hoffman, and the bigots took over.
DeleteI'm guessing Athens GA but godalmighty what is this word salad?
ReplyDeleteGeeljire is too expensive for z-list gossip blogs (not even print or TV!) for the poor. You know. That 4 letter one. It sucks. Don't go there.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I'm pro bono in the comments.
Gator nuggets, when properly prepared and cooked, taste like turtle.
ReplyDeleteStop spreading your anti-Gator propaganda!
I just saw gator kebabs on the tv at the state fair
DeleteNO COINCIDENCES
This is actually one of the more legible ones. Translated:
ReplyDeleteHis most recent twitter follower is a woman who was a Middle East bureau chief during the 2000s, and is/was a senior foreign correspondent. (Since some people here think they know who DB is, it seems like they should be able to spot her in his followers.) She was part of his very small (12) high school class, and went to the same college as he, across the country. They made the trip together in a luxury sedan belonging to her playboy dad, and DB wasn't allowed to look in her luggage.
One inn in Alabama wouldn't let them share a room because they weren't married. There was a law enforcement convention going on at the place, and he thinks it's possible (though irrelevant) that Roy Moore could have been in attendance at the convention. They met teenagers working fast food who yearned to leave for the big city (like you'll find in every small town everywhere and everywhen). They met someone famous who has a story to tell at a college town in Georgia. After they arrived at their destination, the sedan exploded.
Bond, James Bond Jr.
DeleteNo one can stop him but S.C.U.M. always tries,
young Bond cuts through each web of spies,
he learned the game from his uncle James,
now hes heir to the name,
James Bond (Bond, James Bond Jr.)
Look out he is comin' through,
he's gotta job to do,
while he rescues the girl,
James Bond Jr. chases S.C.U.M.
(James Bond Jr. chases S.C.U.M.)
Around the world.
@Cail you're hired.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete
DeleteLiterally tysm I was about to have an aneurysm trying to figure this out
Judith Miller
ReplyDeleteAlligator, cooked properly, is delicious.
ReplyDeleteSide note- do not ever get any Cajun or Creole food (not saying gator is strictly Cajun) outside of south Louisiana unless you don't mind crappy food. Depending upon the restaurant, even New Orleans is too far north.
Looking forward to more of The Dancing Boy story. Happy y'all did not get blown up!
"The aforementioned luxury sedan explodes. We should've been inside at the time..."
ReplyDeleteUnderstatement of the century.
"When I get to the college times material..." Ugh...this guy and his cliche, lame ass, Fake News, rambling unintelligible "stories". Just stop, man. Nobody gives a shit about your Z list "exploits" and ZZZ list "connections".
Aryn Baker
ReplyDelete@arynebaker
TIME Magazine's Africa Bureau Chief
Sounds like the first 10 minutes of a really bad Hallmark movie
ReplyDeleteThat because of the road trip in certain suthun states and because the two of them weren't married getting lodging was difficult, along with the work she does, to the point someone tried to harm them with a car bomb or accident.
ReplyDelete@solo +1
ReplyDelete@abby Nothing wrong with alligator at all. Fried, tastes kinda like rubbery chicken
WHAT.THE.FUCK.
ReplyDelete+1 on the REM reference. They probably met up with that kid Noah, from that video.
ReplyDelete+1 Aryn Baker of Sarah Lawrence
Ok guys. I've had a shitty day at work since everyone except me got taken out to lunch by boss. (cause admins don't care about being left alone and hungry for 2 damn hours while the fucking phones ring off the hook! To-go plate of cold tacos and beans don't exactly make up for it..) Anyhow so glad we had a DB blind cause the comments here made me literally LOL and the ones in the back office are clueless! Thank y'all for that! PS AbbyRock's comment about Cajun/Creole food? TRUTH. Raised down in the swamp lands - I know fo'sho'! One asterisk though - Jason's Deli makes the best Muffaletta's outside of NOLA you'll ever get.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful when Cail sweeps in as the interpreter.
ReplyDeleteGator is delish. Especially fried. But it's not like it's on every menu in the South. I've never seen it in a grocery store. Maybe Louisiana groceries carry it?
ReplyDeleteIf this is just an unusually complicated way to drag Michael Stipe out of the closet again I'm gonna be pissed.
ReplyDeleteDon't think it's Aryn Baker as she became the MidEast Bureau Chief in 2010. Enty says the Mideast Bureau Chief was in the aughts (which means 2000 - 2009). The only other one I can think of is Kimberly Dozier. But, I don't think she fits the blind, either.
ReplyDelete@Thorne....everything tastes better fried.
ReplyDeleteThorne, I have not seen gator in the grocery stores. I've only had it for dinner a few times. It was fried similarly to tempura.
ReplyDeleteMe Again, lol, frying does enhance lots of foods.
Dancing Boy, contact me. I think I want to make your movies. A pedo shared universe. Epic. Marvel look out!
ReplyDelete@cailin, so glad you read fluent D.B. because it is a lost language and none of us speak or read it. Apparantly there is a lack of punctuation in it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, but I'm usually lost in these too. Not sure why this one made sense.
ReplyDeleteDB has the same car fixations as Hmmmm, and the humble bragging, and the name dropping that never quite fits....
ReplyDeleteWhat's the BI here again?
Nobody cares about these stupid "blinds". Go die already.
ReplyDeleteThat fancy school doesn't teach math. Welcome back, Dancing Boy and thanks for the food references to keep the thread going.
ReplyDeleteI've never eaten gator. Or any reptile.
ReplyDeleteHer dad was a middle eastern bigwig and the mob was trying to car bomb him?
ReplyDeletegator is delicious if it's cooked properly, but i have to stick up for the food experience in the big easy. i'll eat everything from a lucky dog to brennnan's for breakfast and highly recommend y'all try the frozen irish coffee at molly's on the market. laissez les bons temps rouler, y'all.
ReplyDeletesorry for the derail while drooling over new orleans' food. i have no idea what's going on here with DB and hopefully i will figure it out before senility settles it.
ReplyDeleteChristiane Amanpour. Prolly not, but I LOVE saying her name.
ReplyDeleteLast Blind he was back stage at and REM show and now he's talking a road trip to Athens GA. I'm starting to think he's one of the two psycho stalkers who tried to murder Michaels Stipe in the 90s
ReplyDeleteFor Dancing Boy blinds, the comments are always the best part. I thank you all.
ReplyDeleteTo the person above who told DB to "go die already", you are a horrible person. Some of us do care about his blinds. If you don't want to read something, don't read it. Simple as that. just move on. No need to be mean.
ReplyDeletePee Wee Herman!
ReplyDeleteI don't think there's anything to guess here, except the identity of his friend, which wasn't so much "guessing" as "going to look." These aren't really about guessing. They're autobiographical snippets from someone who was damaged by Hollywood molesters, complete with disjointed streams of consciousness and humble-bragging. That's if they're legit, of course. The purpose of them is still up in the air.
ReplyDeleteTime Magazine? My dentist doesn't even have that anymore. I doubt that it has an "Africa Bureau Chief" or an "Africa Bureau" or even a "Bureau".
ReplyDelete(These[make{those}blinds]incredibly[hard][to][read]stop[fucking[doing)this{{}}})))){{}
ReplyDelete