Random Photos Part One

I guess Dax is learning how to braid his own hair.
"But I have to pee."
When one blonde whore isn't enough in your life

you can always find another.
I don't want you living that far from me Jessica. Come closer.
Less kissing of hands and more eating.
I've heard shopping can be orgasmic. I guess Heather Locklear is an example of that.
As long as she doesn't do Jay Leno impressions, I'm okay with the chin.

Nice to see Kirsten conserves gas when headed to a booty call.
All done. Guess she was a little cold afterwards.
If that's the nose job, she needs to get her money back.
The first signs of Paris Hilton disease.

This is the first Monday of the year that has actually been a workday, and I have to say I kind of like it the other way better. I have some gossip for you of course and later today either some regular blind items or Jackass v Kindness. I saw some truly incredible asinine celebrity behavior over the weekend and so thought it would be a good idea to share. If I can find the time to write, then you get it today, otherwise tomorrow. Truly asinine.

Chris Robinson was forced to do the "Tara." In case you do not know what the Tara is, it is the walk of shame after being denied admittance to Hyde right in front of all the pap and the gawkers which Tara Reid was wrongly subjected to. It would have been much nicer to call it the "Paris." Honestly, Hyde is not really Chris' kind of place. Still though, the Tara is bad. What is worse, is the Tara with a twist which would involve Kate Hudson showing up at the same time ala "she who must not be named" and having her get in while you watch. Then there is the Tara with a twist with a slice of video which means it is out there to remind you forever and ever. Chris did not have the twist, but there is video when you click the link.

I do not really know how helping a woman out of a car and helping take her to a midwife is delivering a baby, BUT it makes for good press for the reality show that will have LaToya Jackson serving as a police officer along with Erik Estrada and Jack Osbourne. I really do not know where this show places in the hierarchy of reality television but at least it is a place for those celebrities who missed out on Celebrity Boxing. Do they get to have guns in this show?

In my attempt to move further down the D list in gossip reporting, Alan Cumming was married this weekend to his boyfriend of two years. Alan Cumming is a very fine actor and a lovely man, but Marc Malkin the reporter on E thinks he got the biggest scoop in the world by hearing about this first. Alan Cumming's rep probably made 50 calls about it before someone would even pick up the phone. I am happy for Alan, but Marc, calm down. You could have reported this a month from now and been the first. Marc probably ran down the halls at E yelling, "I got an exclusive. OMG Alan Cumming is getting married, and he is going to wear an oatmeal colored linen kilt suit with a black shirt and tie. OMG, I have to tell someone. Where is Ted?"

He who must not be named for another week is in talks to star in a movie with Kelly Brook. I honestly do not know what insurance company would take the risk with this movie, so these talks are probably just going to be that. Just talks.

I think Kylie Minogue is probably the number one gay icon. However, I still think this poll is messed up because Dolly Parton is number two and ABBA is number 3. "Um, excuse me. Cher? Madonna? Barbra?

Is Wentworth Miller gay? The Prison Break star insists he is not but loves that men and women fantasize about him, as long as they keep watching the show.

Daryl Hannah says she almost became a sex slave. She managed to escape out a window or else she fear she would have been forced to remain in Las Vegas and be in a sex slave ring. While she was staying in the hotel, they must have volunteered quite a bit of information to her. So, because of her close escape, she is going to take a camera crew and travel all over the world looking at brothels. I am sure no one at the brothel will wonder what the 6 ft mermaid is doing there and what she wants with a girl for the night. Seriously, I think it is a noble quest and I wish her the best, but am not sure she is the right person for the job.

I do not want to say that you heard it hear first, but you did. Did anyone else? Nope, nada zilch.Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson are no more. From what I have heard, I actually think that Kate Hudson and her husband are going to reconcile and that she loves the old hippie. I personally think she should come to downtown LA and say hi to yours truly, but I am just saying. Actually I think she and her husband make a pretty good couple so if they are happy, then I am happy. I will just watch Almost Famous for the 50th time.

You know I have a ban on all things man handish for two weeks. But there is this great story about what her 86 boyfriends probably told her or convinced her about orgasms and why she has never had one with a man, but I just cannot link to it. So tough to keep a resolution. Of course it also involves Britney Spears so maybe I could do it under that guise. Oh what the hell, I am pretty jazzed about the first story so here you go.

Mel B is going on Maury? This article says she is going on American television to reveal the DNA test after her baby is born. As much as this might be an Oprah or View moment we all know who the DNA king is in America. I am just wondering if she is going to have to go through five episodes of men to find out who the father is. My bet is Eddie is the father.

You know I have decided that the UK tabloids do not know what the hell they are talking about in regards to Celebrity Big Brother. In the Sun today they said they predicted all 8 people now living in the house. Sure they did. Because they guessed like 200 people. How many times have I linked to their stories when they said people were going in? They got me all excited and instead it is a worse cast than the Surreal Life. Speaking of which Verne Troyer, who checked into rehab earlier this week did so after filming Surreal Life Games. One can only hope he had another living room bathroom experience captured on tape.

The Police reuniting? I will be there.

You know, for as popular as The O.C. was, it sure went off the air quickly. It seems as if the stars of that show have been around for 10 years instead of the three it has actually been. Three years from now will they still be around?