Happy Birthday Dominique Swain

Today is Dominique Swain's birthday. Normally I don't make a big deal out of birthdays of friends, but Dominique was such an integral part of the site in the first few months it existed that I feel like to not wish her a happy birthday would be wrong. Dominique or ZX as she was known sucked it up a few times a week and wrote about her life and what she was doing and provided some of the most controversial posts ever. Looking back at them now makes you wonder what all the fuss was about, but there certainly was fuss. In honor of her birthday I am reposting two of the more controversial ones. The first is from April 18, 2007 and was just a recap of a photo shoot. The comments however turned into a debate about the angle of the sun and whether you could see the sun reflected in the pool.

The second post was from April 23, 2007 and was also a huge deal because Dominique made one mistake and I didn't catch it. She spelled Louboutin incorrectly. I know, I know and the world went insane. So, enjoy the posts and you can click on the dates above each one to go back and read the comments.

April 18, 2007

ZX--Two Combined Posts, Three Photos


**Originally, ZX wrote the name of the photographer and the make-up artist, but I deleted them because it would make it too easy to guess ZX. If you recognize them, then please send me an e-mail before you post ZX's identity in the comments section much like the woman did from ABC. ZX and I are trying to keep her identity a secret at least through May. I will say that one specific guess made ZX really hysterical. It seems that one person guessed Miss No-Pants. **

If only I had not been crazed and on my way to a photo shoot, I would have been more specific about the fact that Frankie said to a birthday party WITH Ryan Gosling, not Ryan Gosling's birthday party, but it doesn't matter because we confused Parc with Mood and never ended up at the party anyway. I was wondering why Frankie and crew never showed up... Found all this out later when my best friend was telling someone this story and he claimed to be Ryan G's close friend. Anyway, to all you doubters, you should know by now that I have trouble being organized with almost every element of my life. I just thought this particular snafu was so funny I wanted to share it.

Photo shoot was lots of fun although I think the engineering of Mulholland Drive is a conspiracy. Why did they make it so difficult to simply stay on the same street. One minute you're merrily on Mulholland talking on the phone and cursing zen drivers and the next you're rudely dumped in Hollywood or the Valley. I have to read two scripts tonight but I'll use my handy dandy fact checker next time I want to relate a night on the town.

Here are the photos from the shoot. The first is of the view on the Hollywood side of Mulholland. The second is the sumptuous clothes I wore. The third is the photographer and the makeup artist.

April 23, 2007

ZX's Weekend--No One Gets More Out Of A Weekend Than ZX

Friday, I went to do the interview at Izzy's Deli, yes, for the size 10 cheap shoes/ kmart clothes/provoking pool shoot. Izzy's was totally packed and when we asked the Angelyne-ish hostess if we could move to a quieter booth, she first ignored me like she was far too busy, then Just Said No, and finally upon further inquiry, took five minutes while the place was lining up out the door to lecture both of us on how we could have been seated immediately if we'd waited for the table we wanted in the first place.

Don't mean to be an erudite jackass but she's been hostessing at a deli for 50 years too long and didn't appreciate our gig. Next thing I know, my interviewer is admitting to sending shoot photos to a persnickety actor. When he gave her more trouble, she sent him an email, "How about these? You look beee-eautiful!" And replaced the pictures with photos of her bulldog. So we spent the lunch not working and laughing our asses off and had to reschedule for Saturday.

Went home and tore into some Screen Actor's Guild Envelopes which mean but one thing: Cha-ching! Opened one: "Yes!" Opened the second, "YEEESSSSS!"Opened the third. "Wait. No. Bill." In an identical envelope, the hooligans.

So Saturday, had the real interview. Fell further in love with this girl, but lost my car for two hours and had to pass by a homeless artist who said he loved my feet. I thought he wanted to look at them or draw them but he bent down and caressed my arch. "Aaaaah," he said. "Lower back trouble. And you love organizing things." He was right about the lumbar but I had to pass him two more times in search for said lost vehicle and that pretty much eliminated his second theory.

Stalked my guy and he actually picked up his phone and invited me to an art show, but it was another A-frame disaster and he pretty much hates me now which somehow makes him more mysterious and alluring.

a view of a side room at the art show through a hole

a neato poquito exhibit where sensors detect your movements and make a lighted wall of buds bloom as you move

The dinner with the financiers was awesome. The hostess had a slumber party of little girls who kept peering in from the kitchen clutching my dvd cover,and then disappearing when I looked up. Which was probably why the most outrageously gorgeous Australian meat mogul to ever come up over was paying so much attention to me. He even offered to drag me outside and kiss me, cheeky I know, I would have told him to piss off but he was ADORABLE. When I asked him how old he was, he said, "You were still in your dad's bags when I was in Baghdad." Had a good conversation with the financier about the film we want to make and the director told me as we left, "No shtupping Dad's Bags until we figure out everyone's dynamic." They may have all been swingers, who knows.

Went sheep herding on Sunday which was amazing. I didn't bring my dog, but I'm definitely going back. My best friend crocheted me a hat with sheep ears which I wore, OF COURSE, and one of the dogs thought I was some overgrown human sheep hybrid and couldn't focus. The owner got frustrated so I took off the hat and she looked over and said, "That's scarier."

Went to a Chumash festival with my dad and wanted to buy a bracelet but didn't have time for them to run my credit card over the phone. So I took my friend back the next day in the rain to see a Native American who could hula hoop with 24 hula hoops, and there was my dad coming out of the cloudburst to surprise me with the bracelet!

Later, went shopping at Elyse Walker, which is this chi chi boutique in the Palisades. A woman working there looked down and took in the shoes I wore to Burning man, coffee stained sweater, and back up to the sheep hat and kind of turned away. I bought some adorable Christian Laboutin shoes and wanted to box her ears with them and say "Big mistake, HUGE!" like Pretty Woman, but they were from her store, so I think it would've lacked impact.

Oh. Got a call from a director who said he wrote a vigilante action movie FOR ME, but his financiers wanted some TV girl who fits my identical description for the lead, but would I do this other part? I pouted for a couple days, but it's actually a terrific script with a great cast and the read- through's Monday. All signs point to Hooray.

How Was Your Weekend?

So, about once a year, generally the weekend prior to the Super Bowl my parents have sex. Yeah, I know, but I'm old enough where the thought only keeps me awake for a week or so, instead of the recurrent nightmares that used to occur when my mom would make her announcement. Oh, yeah, she announces it. It started because my dad has a Super Bowl party every year and he and his friends basically trash the house and get drunk out of their minds. So, in return for his outlandish behavior (although my mom has been known to join in the outlandish behavior) he usually takes my mom out to someplace where they actually don't have paper napkins and where he actually has to wear something other than boxer shorts or sweats.

Well, last week my mom told me the big night was Friday night, so I had to find other things to do that night. Why I needed to be out of the house and what they could possibly be doing that requires my presence outside of the basement or the house is not a thought I care to relish. So, I did what any person would do in that situation, I decided to call some friends to see if they wanted to go out. The next thing I knew there were ten of us meeting at Geisha House on Friday night. As you can see from the photo above, three of the blog's contributors (ZX-Dominique Swain, WD/America Young, and Adrianna Costa) decided that an evening spent with me dodging passes and letting me eat off their plates was not a truly awful thing to contemplate. I also think they probably had nothing else to do and knew I would pick up the check. Plus, it is always fun to watch a fat man drink.

The night started out well enough. Everyone made sure I sat in between America and Adrianna because they seem to be the only ones who truly don't mind sharing their food with me and also can understand me when I am drunk which makes things slightly easier.

About six or seven tables away there was a woman sitting there that one guest was convinced was "somebody." At various points throughout the evening everyone took a walk past to see if they recognized her. No one did despite the protestations of the original person who claimed it was "somebody." We ventured it was someone from The City or something like that. At one point ZX excused herself and we decided to ask our waiter, who was waiting on that table if he knew who the woman at the table was, and he said no. He said that there was no one downstairs who was a "somebody" that night. At that point someone pointed to ZX's empty seat and said that Lolita was sitting there. He said, "That's Dominique Swain? I was in Lolita with her. I played a waiter who served her in the movie." Apparently the irony of life imitating art did not reach his head, but they did have a nice talk when she came back.

After dinner, some of us decided to continue drinking. The wise ones took off knowing this was going to end in disaster. They have been out with me before when I quote from Four Weddings And A Funeral and say, "might as well see if we can push through to dawn."

So, three of us decided to go over to the Pig and Whistle to drink and to rustle up some more friends. Five drinks later and they showed up. We then had two more drinks and staggered over to Boulevard 3. At that point, the night began to blur, but I do know there were many more drinks and a bartender who looked ready to cut me off. So, I did what any guy in my situation would do. I moved to another bar.

Well the now five of us were in no condition to drive. Wasn't going to happen. The guy at the door said it would take about 30 minutes for a cab and then there was the problem of how many cabs. No problem I said. So, I did what any guy does who lives at home with his parents. I called my dad who was also too drunk to drive, but my sainted mom came out in the mini-van and took us all to each of our respective homes while sharing with us in great detail about her night with my dad. So much for that pleasant drunk feeling. And no, I haven't slept well since.

Arrests Made In Malibu Fire

You might be saying to yourself, "that's nice, but what does all of this have to do with gossip?" Be patient, and you will be rewarded.

Authorities arrested five men Thursday on allegations they caused a fire that destroyed more than 50 homes and caused over $100 million in losses in Malibu. Investigators used surveillance video, receipts and food wrappers to track down the men who were believed to have been at the cave where the fire started, Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca said.

Baca said the men, all from the Los Angeles area, were suspected of recklessly causing a fire with bodily injury, causing fire to an inhabited structure and arson during an emergency.
Each charge carries two to four years of prison time upon conviction.

Investigators found several pieces of evidence that indicated revelers had triggered the blaze by setting a campfire at a popular party spot by a cave. County Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky said campfires in the area were prohibited.

Arson detective Irma Gonzales said 12 people had been partying at the cave. She did not comment on how the blaze spread from the campfire, but said the group did not try to fight it, nor did they try to warn residents as they fled from the flames.

"They just drove off," Gonzales said.

A review of security tape from a nearby store's camera and other detective work that took investigators as far away as Shasta County, on the Oregon line, led to the arrest warrants, Whitmore said.

The wildfire destroyed 53 homes, 33 outbuildings, one mobile home and 37 vehicles. Another 34 homes and 11 outbuildings were damaged. No one was seriously injured. The fire broke out Nov. 24 and took several days to contain.

Now how does any of this affect you? Well as general gossip readers it probably doesn't, but as readers of this blog, you all have a personal connection to this fire. I really haven't said anything prior to this because, honestly there wasn't any point. One of the homes that was destroyed in the fires was Dominique Swain's childhood home. It is the home that her father still lived in, and when the fire came rushing at him, the only things he had time to save were the animals and one photo album. Nothing else. No clothes, no nothing. The only thing a family has to show for 30 years in a house is one photo album and their own personal memories. The laughter, the tears, the fights. Everything gone.

You might be saying to yourself that the federal government will take care of everything because the area was declared a disaster area. Not true. This week I got a call from the family to try and help because they were getting the runaround from FEMA and some other government agencies. They are doing everything possible to try and make everything as difficult as possible.

Throughout it all, DS's dad is just a stoic figure who says that things will work out in the end. They may, but it won't be because of anything the government is doing. His attitude stems from the fact that he thought the fires were caused by a natural act. The fact that people were partying in a cave, caused the fire and then did absolutely nothing but drive away when it started is beyond me. They didn't try and put out the fire, but worst of all is they didn't even call anyone for help or advise police or fire departments that a fire was out of control.

Instead they just drove away and completely destroyed the lives of 53 families and millions of memories.

CDANCON-More Stuff

This one is more for the readers rather than the attendees because the people who are coming can just bring whatever they want signed. But, for those of you who can't make it to the lunch, two lucky winners will receive the Dominique Swain DVD of your choice personally autographed to you or anyone else you want.

DS means a great deal to me and also to the blog. I think she provided the most fun over the first year, as well as the most intense debates, rivalries and nasty comments both for and against her existence. I'm glad that she will be able to sit down with everyone at the lunch, and just talk about herself, her life, her career, and what films she is doing over the next few months. I also know she will be happy to discuss the ins and outs of all the ZX posts, and I will make sure she signs something for "some" also.

If you haven't entered the drawing, the clock is ticking. The M perfume from Mariah, the CD's from Fay Aiyana, the Full Bloom Tea which you all seem to adore, the signed Amber Tamblyn book, the signed Dominique Swain DVD, and there may be one or two other actor/actress DVD signings also, but they haven't got back to met yet so I don't want to announce them before I am sure. By the time I find out, the deadline may have passed to enter.

So enter now by sending an e-mail to ent.lawyer@yahoo.com by 5pm PDT and no, your e-mail addresses aren't going to be given away. I might drunk e-mail you in the middle of the night sometime, but other than that, no one will know.

CDANCON Lunch--Finally

The CDANCON lunch with Dominique Swain will be held on October 27 at noon. The location will be the Pig 'n Whistle at 6714 Hollywood Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90028.

If you are planning on attending and haven't let me or Hez know, then please do so as soon as possible.

I know that many of you expressed an interest in having a gathering of CDAN readers in New York, Vancouver and in Australia. I can't promise DS at any of those places, but if you get something organized that has at least 20 or so people attending, I will get someone fun and at least somewhat recognizable to have lunch with you.

I would love for every reader to make it to the lunch. I know however that many of you don't want to drive across town, or fly across the country or around the world just to have lunch. Perhaps you may be more interested in carving another pumpkin, mowing the lawn, or are just a shut in. If for any reason you can't make the festivities, don't worry. The lunch will be filmed so everyone can feel like they were there. If anyone has any questions they want to ask DS about her work or her blogging or really just about anything, send them to me or to Hez and I will make sure she answers them on the tape.

The lunch should be fun and I'm working on some other guests and surprises. Also, don't forget to register for your chance to win a bottle of M from Mariah. DS will be handing out two bottles. One to a guest who is there in person, and another to a lucky reader. If you haven't entered yet, then you may do so by sending an e-mail to ent.lawyer@yahoo.com and put something in the subject line that says it is for this contest. Those entries have to be received by 5pm PDT on Thursday the 25th of October.

They Should Have Hired ZX

Samaire Armstrong, the answer to at least one blind item that I am aware of, has checked herself into rehab. Samaire Armstrong who is probably best known in the world for her role on The O.C. is probably best known on this blog for being Ms. No Pants (not the BI I am talking about) and beating out our very own DS for a role on Dirty Sexy Money on ABC.

Samaire checked into rehab on Friday night and being how important recovery is to her, checked into the outpatient portion of the clinic. That way while she is attempting to go through recovery she can also keep filming her television show because hey, money to her and the network is more important than her health.

Her publicist told Kneepads Magazine: "Samaire Armstrong decided to enter an outpatient facility to deal with some personal issues in a therapeutic atmosphere and is doing very well. "She continues to work on her show and will be completing her treatment in a matter of weeks."

That treatment is so damn speedy now isn't it? You never saw Samaire out and about doing what she was doing because one thing about Ms. Armstrong is that she is smart enough and mature enough to do her personal damage at her home and friend's homes.

DS/ZX Update--And Meeting Her CDAN Fans

So I know many of you have been clamoring for a Dominique Swain update and so I am here to give you what you want, plus, I do want to let you know that she will be having lunch on October 27th with all of the people who are attending the CDAN gathering in Los Angeles. I will be posting more on that weekend as Hez passes it along to me. There may also be some additional special guests at the lunch, but no matter what, this will be your chance to talk in depth to DS about the photo shoot at the pool and where the hell it was exactly, to her car accidents and all the things you want to know, and probably things you don't.

As far as DS professionally, this past weekend was a very good one for DS. She was awarded the Rising Star award at the San Diego Film Festival for her role as Chelsea in The Pacific And Eddy.

In addition, she just recently spent a month commuting to the Disney Ranch everyday while she completed filming a role for an original Hallmark Channel film entitled Prairie Fever.

Finally, she is beginning to take steps to do work behind the camera and will be producing both a short film and a feature film within the next year.

A Few Words About Seven Lounge--Yes, It's A Shameless, Self Serving Plug

This Friday night is Dominique's birthday party and she was hell bent on having it at Seven. Thanks to Noah over at Seven for saying yes and to Keith at U-EMG for putting everyone together and making it happen. Keith will be doing a guest post on Hollywood party planning sometime next week and what he does on the day and night of an event that he has planned and promoted and how he makes everyone happy and feel loved. Almost sounds like a good idea for a show. Hmmm.

Anyway, if you are going to be in LA Friday night you really should stop by. Actually any night is a good night for Seven, especially when they are kind enough to physically carry my passed out self to the waiting taxi. That's service. Of course the extra $300 they added to my bill for this service eased my mind considerably about their pain and suffering while lifting a 400+ pound dead weight who may or may not have been groping waitresses and customers throughout the night.