Who Hasn't F**ked Amy Winehouse

At this point I think it would be simpler to just talk about people that Amy Winehouse hasn't had sex with. Even while Blaaaaaaaaaaaake wasn't in prison, Amy wasn't exactly the most chaste of women as reports indicated that she slept with Pete Doherty, female hookers and her drug dealers as well as many of Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake's friends.

Now with Blake behind bars, Amy is a little more free to pick and choose. OK, just choose, because she isn't picky. This week she has allegedly slept with her manager's assistant and now has finished off the Babyshambles by sleeping with the one member she somehow had missed in the past. Babyshambles guitarist Mik Whitnall has been bragging to everyone that he finally had sex with Amy.

I'm not sure I would be bragging about that or that there is anything special about it. At this point, I'm sure Amy is considering stealing one of those ticket taking machines you see at bakeries to bring some sort of order to the people who want to have sex with her and line up outside her house. Hey wasn't Prince Charles in her neighborhood recently? The reason she probably beat up those guys last week is they probably turned her down when she offered sex.

Anyone who would want to have sex with Amy at this point is just as crazy as she is. Someone just needs to grab her and throw her into a rehab center and then come get her in about six months. Don't let her out for weekends, holidays, family visits, or anything to do with performing. Just let her sit there and get better because I figure she has another month or two at her current pace before she is dead.

Jenna Jameson Takes On A Soccer Team

Jenna Jameson had a very busy night last night. While in London doing something related to porn or really bad plastic surgery, Jenna Jameson was at the Chinawhite nightclub last night and helped the Chelsea Football Club as they celebrated their victory over Liverpool.

Jameson was sitting in a different part of the club until she smelled the money and then went and sat down next to them. When they ignored her, she got up and started doing lap dances for each of them. I guess it was good enough for them to buy her drinks but no one really wanted to actually touch her skanky self.

After figuring out she wasn't going to get anywhere with them she and a friend headed off to the bathroom to touch up their makeup before heading out and facing the paps. Apparently touching up your makeup is code for doing drugs because Jenna was kicked out of the club for trying to take drugs into the bathroom. Apparently the attendant saw what Jenna was going to do and had the bouncers kick her out.

Who knew that Jenna Jameson and Amy Winehouse would share something in common. Thank God they just share the fact they both got kicked out of clubs for drugs and not for the fact they both do porn. Amy Winehouse doing porn is not something I need to see in my lifetime.

Anne Hathaway Better Start Working

Anne Hathaway better start signing on to do a bunch more films because her boyfriend just settled a lawsuit filed against him for $1.3M. Anne and Raffaelo Follieri have stuck together despite the fact that it seems as if he is sued by everyone for various financial misdeeds and even spent some time recently in a New York City jail for allegedly bouncing a $250,000 check. Follieri says there was just a misunderstanding. I wouldn't know. 7-Eleven always balks when I try and cash a $25 check let alone one for $250,000. Turns out they don't keep that much in their safe. Who knew?

Anyway, I am guessing that besides making Anne pay for lunches and dinners that Follieri may have asked Anne for a couple of bucks here and there. You know $5 for a toll, or $10 for gas or $25,000 for some new suits.

I have no doubt he is a very smooth talker and probably has her completely convinced that he is the real deal and very genuine. Unfortunately it appears that the everyone else doesn't share the same high opinion of him. She should have dumped him a long time ago. Since she hasn't, if I were him, I would try and marry her, and manage her and start getting her to work so that he can start paying off that $1.3M. Of course he could always write another check.

The Jennifer Lopez Infomercial

For some reason yesterday I didn't get around to bashing Jennifer Lopez. I meant to, but ran out of time so she got bumped. I think at some point last week I was actually kind of nice to Jennifer Lopez. I think I complimented her in a photo and also said I was actually kind of looking forward to her reality show on TLC.

Unfortunately there has been a miscommunication between every single person on earth and Jennifer Lopez. TLC and everyone else thought they were buying a Jennifer Lopez reality show. What the public is actually getting is a 30 minute infomercial once a week for 8 weeks. Normally people would pay TLC to run a 30 minute infomercial on their channel. Somehow they got bamboozled into paying Jennifer Lopez to run a 30 minute infomercial on their channel instead of another channel.

What everyone thought would be Jennifer pretending to be a mom and wife and acting like she had emotions and feelings and getting to see Marc yell at her to speak in Spanish instead is going to be "a show that will track the creation, production and eventual launch of a new fragrance. Jennifer will appear in a creative, entrepreneurial capacity and will absolutely not feature her children and family life."

So it is going to be a bunch of people sitting around working on her perfume and every episode she will come in and smell it and say good or bad. Kind of like The Apprentice, but with better hair.

Let Me Define Some Guy Speak

The NY Post is reporting that Michael Lohan is going to get engaged to his girlfriend of 10 months Erin Paige. After I read the article, I think an engagement is a long ways off, if ever. The couple was spotted in the last week looking at engagement rings and when asked about it, Michael said, "We're talking about getting engaged soon."

Every guy who reads that sentence knows that Michael is dragging this thing out to the bitter end. She is in her late 20's or early 30's and he is almost 50. She wants to get married and he would probably rather not after his last experience. She's ready for kids and he just wants to exploit the ones he already has. So, what do you do when she threatens to leave and your chances of getting anyone who looks as good and doesn't charge you by the hour are almost nil? You take her ring shopping and bring it up in conversation. You tell the NY Post that you are talking about getting engaged soon.

Who talks about getting engaged soon? You talk about when you might get married, but one doesn't normally discuss when the best time to get engaged would be. What does it matter when you get engaged? Even if she does manage to wheedle a ring out of Michael, she isn't going to get a wedding. Do you think that once Lindsay's career starts taking off again and he starts getting pocket money from her again that he is going to want to share half with a wife? Then you haven't met Mr. Greedy before.

My best advice to all women not just women who date asses like Michael is that if a guy says things like Michael has and is dragging it out and dragging it out, then you have to realize if it ever happens it is going to be a very long wait. Very long.

She Was 15 When They Had Sex

What is the deal with the age of 15 this week? That sentence sounds just like the beginning of any of Jerry Seinfeld's jokes, and for that I'm sorry. I'm ashamed actually. It won't happen again. But Miley Cyrus is 15, Bobbi Kristina is 15, and Mindy McCready was 15 when she started allegedly getting raped by Roger Clemens. Mindy McCready's mom confirmed the fact that her daughter had a ten year affair with Roger Clemens and that it started when Mindy was 15 and Roger 28. If true, that would have put Roger Clemens in jail for a very long time while at the height of his major league career.

According to Mindy's mom, Mindy liked Roger, but wasn't in love with him. Mindy just enjoyed the trips and cash and baseball games. Roger even came over to Mindy's house once to have breakfast with Mindy and her mom. Well, I'm sure he had to drop her off. She probably wasn't even old enough to get a driver's license.

I don't understand this obsession with guys in their late 20's or 30 liking girls who are 15-18. Yes, I'm talking about you also Milo. It just is so wrong and it must be some type of control issue at best and some type of sick pedophilia issue at worst. Here is a guy who at the time it started was making $10 million a year and married with two kids and could basically buy and hooker he wanted. I'm sure there were plenty of women in their early 20's who looked younger who would have thrown themselves at him. Instead he finds a 15 year old girl to have an affair with.

Oh, and while he's allegedly raping Mindy, he is f**king another woman who also happened to be married. Reports are coming out today that Roger Clemens was having sex with Paulette Daly at the same time he was having sex with Mindy and presumably having sex with his steroid injecting wife. Paulette happened to be married to Roger's good friend John Daly.

Crazy Parents Leads To Crazy Kids

The National Enquirer is reporting that a few days prior to her 15th birthday, Bobbi Kristina Brown, the daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown attempted to kill herself with a razor. She did so though only after trying to use the same razor on Whitney Houston.

Thankfully nothing serious happened to Bobbi Kristina and she has been placed in an Atlanta psychiatric hospital for further treatment. The source of this article was actually named which is probably a first. The woman is family friend Ann Davis. No, not Alice from the Brady Bunch.

Bobbi Kristina doesn't want to live with Whitney, and after seeing that television show I don't really blame her. Honestly I think she would be better off living almost anywhere other than with her mother or father. Unless she has talent. If she has talent, her father will treat her well and then exploit the crap out of her like he is doing with his son.

Whitney seems to be really broken up about the whole thing as since the incident she has been down in the Caribbean playing shows and having a good time on the beach and also spending time with sex tape king Ray J.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which ageing Hollywood star desperately needs a lesson in etiquette after groping a woman's breast on the first date? He bombarded the poor girl - half his age - with calls and messages the following day but surprisingly she didn't get back to him...