Monday, December 17, 2007

Paul Wants Heather To Kill Herself


Is there a phone call that Heather Mills didn't record? I want to hear the phone sex calls between Paul and Rosanna Arquette. Instead what Heather Mills plans to introduce at her divorce hearing is a recording that Paul McCartney made of a conversation he had with his daughter Stella McCartney. Judging by what the recording contains, it must have been made after the pair decided to divorce, but our former porn star being the wily hourly worker she once was managed to get it anyway. In the recording, Paul is claimed to have said: "If we turn up the pressure on Heather, with a bit of luck she will top herself and then we won't have to pay her a penny."

Obviously Heather was distressed when she heard it. Hell, maybe she even went out and had some McDonalds. If it is true, I'm sure it was not intended to be serious. As much as I think Paul is an ass, I doubt he would wish his child to grow up without her mother. Since we haven't even heard the recording, it's possible he may have even been laughing when he said it. The only source for the story is Heather Mills herself and we know what a stable individual she is. I wouldn't put it past her to splice all of her tapes together and make it sound as if that is what Paul said when in reality he might have said something like he was going to take Beatrice to the top of a mountain after he pays her allowance of a penny. I can just see Heather bent over a worktable, cackling to herself as she chain smokes cigarettes and sucks down KFC while splicing bits and pieces of tape together and keeps chanting "laces out" to no one in particular.


11 comments:

  1. Dear Ent,

    No commentary on that other divorce news?

    Or are you pacing yourself with the holiday wealth of gossip so that you don't end up with carpal tunnel???

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  2. 8 days till Xmas and the trolls are a comin!! lol..much love to my peeps and EL!

    Heather needs to pack up her leg and get the eff on. Enough girl,shut your hole and collect some dough. easy peasy.

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  3. yes!! Pammy news!!!

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  4. Anonymous12:09 PM

    "laces out"? I'm lost. And I totally thought "bent over a worktable..." was going to lead to a much more salacious sentence. ie. making an amputee-lovin' sound editor happy.

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  5. YAY Ent - kudos on working in one of my favorite Ace Ventura phraseS. It's what I yell at the TV everytime the Eagles miss a field goal or extra point - LACES OUT!!!!! and unfortunately this season i seem to be yelling it alot!

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  6. "with a little luck
    She will top herself
    we can make this whole damn thing work out

    With a little push
    We could set her off
    We can send her rocketing skywards
    With a little snark we could shake her up
    Can't you feel her temper exploding......."

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  7. Anonymous1:25 PM

    Ray Finkle was my roommate at Shady Acres. Die, Dan, Die! You too, Heather.

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  8. Why doesn't he just pay her off already??

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  9. "laces out" HAHAHAHAHHA!! Great reference! Heather and Finkle do have a lot in common!

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  10. Brendalove, I'm gonna be singing that all night now. Even when I watch my beloved but sucky Bears lose.

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  11. Where does Ent come up with these images? Amazing!

    And yeah, McDonalds is pretty good when you're upset...don't know why.

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