Monday, March 03, 2008

$202.50 To Get A Wave Across The Room From Scarlett


How much would you pay to get ignored by Scarlett Johansson? Right now she is selling what was originally referred to as a date with her, and now is being called two tickets to the premiere of He's Just Not That Into You.

Scarlett is doing this for Oxfam which is a great charity, but I question whether the person who buys this will really spend even one second with Scarlett. If this was anything other than a charity, I would say this pushes the envelope as far as truth in advertising.

When I first heard about it, it was supposed to be a VIP night with Scarlett. She was going to hang out with you pre-premiere, curing the film, and after the film. That sounds fun and sounds like a great night. Now, according to what E-bay has written in the fine print of the rules of the auction, it is possible you may not even get to meet Scarlett, or even see her. This of course despite the fact that there are three huge photos of Scarlett and a video of her talking about the auction, and that they are still calling it meet Scarlett. Apparently, she doesn't want to be seen with any common people at all, and is horrified at the thought of someone actually getting close to her that has not been sanitized for her protection. God forbid a fan got close to her and was able to shake her hand. She has thrown out the bone that you will get a handwritten note from her. Sure, that's the same thing as meeting her.

Instead lets talk about Colin Firth, who is incredible and who as part of this same deal, offered two VIP tickets to the premiere of Mamma Mia in London this July, drinks with him after the premiere and he will make a personalized videotape for your birthday or a friend's birthday and say whatever you want him to say. The winning bid for that was $8,000.

Now, I will say that as bad as I think this film of Scarlett's is going to be, (It has to be because Jennifer Aniston is in it), there are a bunch of big name stars in it and so I am sure at least one of them would say hello to you at some point. OK, so they won't, but you can have the dream and you will get a limo ride to the event and your hair done by Prive. Hey, at least the money is going to a good cause and hopefully there will be an open bar. Drink the good stuff and get your money back through booze. Then when you see Ryan Reynolds trailing behind Scarlett you will have the fortification necessary to go tackle him and start ripping off his clothes which you can then sell on E-bay and get your money back.


8 comments:

  1. ENT - keep bidding!

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  2. i'll save my $202.50 and give her the finger from accross my living room while watching E!

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  3. Meh...I'd rather just pay for a nice dinner and tix to the movie. I don't need to meet any celebrities. Except Simon Lebon.

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  4. Anonymous10:08 AM

    HA. To the winner of this auction: if you really hope to get face time with any of them, make sure you bring coke. Lots of it. Then hang out in the bathroom. Yeah. That should work.

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  5. I really need to work on my alcohol tolerance!

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  6. Or...you could just donate a shitton of money to the charity of YOUR choice and spare yourself the harassment of dealing with a spoiled little Hollywood twat whose movie is probably going to suck a huge choad, anyway.

    THIS is preCISely why I cannot stand this self-aggrandizing, utterly arrogant, and talentless ho. She cannot fucking act worth a shit, and she couldn't possibly be more of a snot.

    At least Natalie Portman, with all her gorgeousness and a Harvard education, seems pretty sweet and grounded. Or am I incorrect?

    Anyway, I loathe ScarJo, and this is another great reason why!

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  7. @ jax-
    HAH!

    i was within range of tripping michael eisner at the "chicken little premier, and i could have gotten away with it, what with being in a wheelchair at the time and all. bugger moved too fast. i'll always regret not doing so.

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  8. And they couldn't get a hotel or airline to stump up travel or accommodation? So effectively you get 2 cinema tickets and a wave for 11,000 dollars.

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