OK! Magazine this week has the huge headline that Reese and Jake are ready to wed. I think all of us are ready to wed. If you are single or even if you aren't and the right person came along, I would think all of us are ready to wed.
Wouldn't you know it? You read the article and there isn't a damn thing in there about the plans for the wedding or where it is going to be at. Hell, according to the article they aren't even formally engaged. Oh, those are the words of their source, not mine. Seems that Reese and Jake are saying that it won't be long before Jake pops the question to Reese.
So, let me get this straight. Not preparing for a wedding, not engaged, doesn't appear that they have even talked about it, but they are ready to wed. But wait, it gets better. A source at the restaurant where they ate said the pair couldn't keep their eyes off each other. Not their hands or their mouths or their tongues. Their eyes.
You know what that is? That's not true love, that's being polite. Unless you are scared of someone, when you are seated across from someone and eating, it is generally considered bad form to keep your eyes down and on your food. Couldn't take their eyes off each other. Where were they supposed to put them? I guess the fact that they weren't both staring at the ass of the waiter is a positive step, but is hardly worthy of marriage talk.
Oh, and the friend wants the world to know that Reese would never live with Jake prior to marrying him, because as the friend puts it, "Reese is very conservative and traditional. I'm sure she doesn't want her kids to see her 'living in sin.'"
No, that would be terrible. Ummm. Doesn't Ryan actually live with someone? So yeah, that point kind of goes out the window. Anyway, if you need a good laugh and a great lesson in how to get people at the checkout line to pick up your magazine, this is excellent.
Wouldn't you know it? You read the article and there isn't a damn thing in there about the plans for the wedding or where it is going to be at. Hell, according to the article they aren't even formally engaged. Oh, those are the words of their source, not mine. Seems that Reese and Jake are saying that it won't be long before Jake pops the question to Reese.
So, let me get this straight. Not preparing for a wedding, not engaged, doesn't appear that they have even talked about it, but they are ready to wed. But wait, it gets better. A source at the restaurant where they ate said the pair couldn't keep their eyes off each other. Not their hands or their mouths or their tongues. Their eyes.
You know what that is? That's not true love, that's being polite. Unless you are scared of someone, when you are seated across from someone and eating, it is generally considered bad form to keep your eyes down and on your food. Couldn't take their eyes off each other. Where were they supposed to put them? I guess the fact that they weren't both staring at the ass of the waiter is a positive step, but is hardly worthy of marriage talk.
Oh, and the friend wants the world to know that Reese would never live with Jake prior to marrying him, because as the friend puts it, "Reese is very conservative and traditional. I'm sure she doesn't want her kids to see her 'living in sin.'"
No, that would be terrible. Ummm. Doesn't Ryan actually live with someone? So yeah, that point kind of goes out the window. Anyway, if you need a good laugh and a great lesson in how to get people at the checkout line to pick up your magazine, this is excellent.
AAAHHH Toothy Tile is ready to wed...yah that won't make you less gay Jakey - it just makes you much less credible.
ReplyDeletejesus do people actually beeive this crap?? lol last time i was at the grocer the lady behind picked up a tabloid and i told her for $4 i'll tell her what's really going on, not what their publicist wants you to know.
ReplyDeleteCan't people frickin date anymore(if that's what they are doing... toothy tile much) - they date for a month and these stupid bird cage lining shit soaking rags have them married and divorced already!UGH!!!
ReplyDeleteOh and ENT - I for 1, am NOT ready for marriage... once (for 15 years) was enough thanks, i like having control of my own remote...Though i would get engaged again - just not married. Yeah i'd want the ring - emeralds and diamonds please. LOL
No more marriage for me.
ReplyDeleteI would rather shack up with ENT in his basement and "live in sin"
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that is much less credible is the writers of that crap in OK, not Jake. And even less credible than that is anyone who believes the Toothy Tile bullshit.
ReplyDelete"Reese is very conservative and traditional.'"
ReplyDeletereese was 6 mos knocked up when she married ryan.
On Mother's Day I tried to tell the Queen Mum the dealio with Reese and Jake and she was not having it. According to QM, there's no way Reese would put up with "that crap."
ReplyDeleteAfter a few minutes she had a change of heart and said "Well, after all Elsa Lancaster was married for years to Charles Laughton and he was gay."
I think that was her way of agreeing with me!
Y'all are all funny!
ReplyDeleteIf this is true, Reese is a lesbian. No doubt in my mind.
Either that or could she be totally broke or, sadly, just a tool?
I mean, how does she benefit from this relationship? He must be good with her kids. But Ryan is a good dad, right? Who knows....
The only tools are the ones here making really lame jokes.
ReplyDelete'Sup Toothy.
ReplyDeleteThe only believable part of this article is the part about them both staring at the waiter's ass.
How old are some of you? Do you use the same stupid stereotypes with people in your own lives? Seems you do....very scary thought.
ReplyDeleteWonder how Jake's boyfriend feels about this.
ReplyDeleteJudi, tell me about it. He must be sick as a parrot! :(
ReplyDeletePoor guy. Jake, what ARE you thinking?