Quite surprisingly, life is unfortunately ugly right now for Ooma Offspring, talent-less terror 'bout town. See, certain Biz dealings can be a tough swallow for the mucho rich, wannabe actress, not that you'd even know it.
O2 is very much the black sheep of her quasi-famous clan, as she's not exactly as gifted as the rest of her fam members, certainly not as fetching. Celebrated life is cruel! And sometimes poor Double O has to bullishly bear the brunt of nasty-ass jokes, but the latest one is happening behind the scenes and behind 'Ma's back (until now of course).
O.O. has been gearing up to go on a publicity tour for her latest pro endeavor, which is coming out soon, so like any "star" on a project, the corporation usually fronts the green for its talent's hair and makeup.
Natch, Ooma's peeps have been insisting on the best of the best in necessary beautifying professionals, and the suits are very reluctant to dish out the moola required. In their opinion, Offspring's not worth the makeover dough because she's just too unfortunate looking, and no Ken Paves is going to change that (highly biased, admittedly) fact.
So sad, 'cause members of O's equally famous extended fam are all devastatingly gorge with solid acting careers to match. What's a wannabe to do? (Pay for it yourself, sister, like, hello?)
Rumer Willis?
ReplyDeleteRumor Willis
ReplyDeleteTotally Rumer
ReplyDeleteCouldn't get through reading it without stroking out.
ReplyDeleteI thought Rumer too, until the last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteYeah, except the last paragraph is only Ted's opinion. Maybe he ha sthe hots for Bruce :)
ReplyDeleteMs Cool said...
ReplyDeleteCouldn't get through reading it without stroking out.
and this wasn't even one of his bad ones!!!!
Why is Rumer the "black sheep", though?
and does a mom, dad, and step dad make it a clan? (I would think that would mean more siblings involved in the biz)
and The House Bunny is already out...
I don't have a better guess, mind you, just asking questions...
Easy one!
ReplyDeleteI don't think the last sentence necessarily excludes Rumer.
While Ashton might not be Sir Laurence Olivier as far as acting chops, he is gorgeous and does have a solid acting career (thus far, anyway).
Lucky777, you posted the exact questions/doubts I have about this being Rumer Willis. Thing is, I can't think of another fit.
ReplyDeleteKhloe Kardashian fits, except for the "solid acting careers".
ReplyDeleteI think Rumer Willis, too, but I agree that some clues could be pointing away from her. Maybe he referred to them as a clan because they looked like such a huge group when they showed up with her at the premier?
ReplyDeleteTed has gotten as close as he ever gets with the name matching clues--Rumer/Ooma.
ReplyDeleteGotta be, plus with the "unfortunate-looking" clue.
Rumer all day.
ReplyDeleteShe is the black sheep because she was known for her notorious drugs and alchohol filled partying not to mention her looks being less than stellar like her siblings and parents.
Geez...this poor girl! Rumer is not unattractive. She's a lot prettier than most of the women here at my place of business. I don't understand the hate for her.
ReplyDeletetater head
ReplyDeleteShe's a lot uglier than most of the women I work with, and I work in government!
ReplyDeleteSo clearly Rumer, but her two siblings are also ugly/weird looking (although not as horridly unfortunate looking as poor Rumer is). No "solid careers" for them either.
ReplyDeleteRumer was trashing hotel rooms and partying with Lindsay Lohan not too long ago, and Bruce, Demi, and Ashton are all more attractive than most of us can hope to be. Rumer definitely feels entitled to star treatment and may have been the answer to the blind about the starlet who trashed a trailer.
ReplyDelete...and is it just me or are Ted's blinds starting to make more sense?
ReplyDeleteThe ain'ts are:
ReplyDeleteBindi Irwin
Lourdes Leon (Madonna's child)
Ali Lohan (that would've been a good guess).
The "like, hello" thing seems like it should be a clue.
I'm on the Rumer bandwagon.
I can't even read these anymore. He makes me crazy with all his "lingo".
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS LAST WEEKS BLIND...AND IT'S RUMER....WHO WE ALL WISH WOULD JUST GO AWAY....
ReplyDeletepoor fuggy.
ReplyDeleteLOL at Kristen S.
ReplyDeleteI say Rumer, too. Except that it says she's not as fetching as her siblings, and neither of those other Willis girls are terribly cute. They're just better-looking in comparison.
ALEXIS ARQUETTE!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI thought Khloe Kardashian all the way 'til the end. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if Rumer's chin diminishes.
ReplyDeleteI think Rumer is pretty, but she's the only one that fits this.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing is the blind makes it sound like the siblings also have acting careers, and Rumer's don't.
how is kim kardashian not as fetching as her family members? that makes no sense.
ReplyDeleteLong-time lurker, first-time poster...
ReplyDeleteYou guys are pretty good at narrowing these down, and I agree that Rumer is a strong candidate, but for some reason I'm also thinking Solange Knowles. There was a minor (as in generally off the radar since nobody cares about Solange) dust-up between her and a tv anchor the other day (http://dlisted.com/taxonomy/term/299), so she IS doing publicity for something. Other clues that I think support Solange are "wannabe actress" (she has some pretty sad credits on imdb), "quasi-famous clan" (Beyonce is Beyonce; dad is a manager; mom is a "fashion designer"; brother-in-law is Jay-Z; ex-husband is/was a pro athlete), not as gifted, not as fetching, etc.
Just thought I'd throw that out there. I can totally see Basement Baby getting fussy over a lack of attention and handlers and such. However, Ted says the extended family has solid acting careers to match...Beyonce is really the only family member that acts, and I don't know if Dreamgirls and an Austin Powers flick are enough to qualify for a "solid acting career" label...
Oh just forget it, it's probably Tater Head Willis.
poor tater head. Keep your chin up!
ReplyDeleteAperture Free, that's who I thought!!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree that Rumey is unfortunate looking and think that Lullah Willis is going to be gorgeous.
Bwww--hahahahaaha at what nesbit12 wrote! "keep your chin up" bwaaaahahaha (*wipes eyes*)
ReplyDeleteThat poor girl.
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is she's actually prettier than Demi was before she got her lazy eye tamed and had all that surgery. I almost feel sorry for these kids who end up in the spotlight before they can get any work done like the parents did. Almost.
Even if it isn't Rumer, I don't know how she doesn't want to hide somewhere with everything said about her. I want to know what Bruce & Demi are paying/offering to get her roles, magazine interviews--appearances on LETTERMAN etc. She is not getting these based on looks/talent.
ReplyDeleteI want to know what the heck was wrong with Demi's womb when she had these girls? Tallulah is the least unfortunate looking one of the 3 of them. Is this from alcohol fetal poisoning? I'm so not kidding.
ReplyDeleterumer did "stip tease" with demi, haven't the other girls had bit parts in some of their folks' movies?
ReplyDeleteand the poor girl, she's def. the runt of the litter, looks wise.
i'm also starting to feel really, really bad for ragging on her. she can't help her looks, but she COULD dress better, and try to do something other than aim "to be famous".
quinagin, you do have a point, but i don't recall ever hearing her speak, so i don't know if that's the answer. i don't remember her looking so potatoey as a child ("they call me 'tater salad'"! ha!).