Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Joaquin Phoenix Is So Full Of Crap


Everyone today is buzzing about Joaquin Phoenix and how he is giving up acting and never going to be in another movie. On his message boards people are crying. Please. You don't really believe him do you? Oh, I'm sure he is going to be like one of the other million actors out there who think they can make a living as a signer and thus want that rock star lifestyle and think they are going to be huge as singers. Ummm. Yeah. In about a year when Joaquin realizes that no one is buying his music except for the people on his message boards and people who are so drunk they think it is the Walk The Line soundtrack.

Actors like anyone else get used to having someone fawn over them and give them lots of attention. After a year away from that attention and playing some dive bar in front of 200 people who are trying to focus on the televisions instead of the band, Joaquin will say f**k it, and give us some crap excuse why he came back to acting. I imagine it will be something like he had this really close friend who showed him this script and he had to come back and do it for the friend. Eventually he will fade away from the music and only go back in middle age when he is trying to recapture his youth and his hair.


21 comments:

  1. Yep, this is just his version of "drunk dialing." I doubt he was sober when he came up with this plan.

    "Eventually he will fade away from the music and only go back in middle age when he is trying to recapture his youth and his hair."

    Enty, any plans to join a rock and roll band? ;)

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  2. Here's a little something to add some dimension to this...

    So get in the time machine to when he was filming Gladiator. This is in London. He was to do ADR. No, not for the usual reasons, because he had mumbled his way thru most of the filming. When he finally did make it. Well, here I go. First it was the twitching, twisting and turning in the booth. Then the assistant had to go and get a bottle of Jack, that is when the real fun started. He stripped down to his undies, starts crying,really weeping then berating himself how is not good enough, can never do this, yelling. A first class temper tantrum in his tightie whities. Someone is upset I never signed an ND.

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  3. A dry Read?
    rehab?

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  4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubbing_(filmmaking)

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  5. Nice snippett rareavis - don't be such a rare bird and visit more often!

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  6. Wow - that's some juicy scoop. Koo Koo for Cocoa Puffs.

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  7. I like him--I hope he comes to terms with his demons.
    Maybe he'll get back with Liv Tyler--they were cute together.

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  8. I loved him in "Parenthood" when he was still Leaf.

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  9. I know I am in the minority, but I think he is a terrible actor and generally creepy. He makes my skin crawl. It won't be loss to me if he never acts again.

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  10. LOL@ rare avis; I can totally see it.

    But yeah, I saw something about htis on the news this morning, it was in the bar of news that rolls across the screen at the bottom, and I thought something along the lines of what enty wrote.

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  11. Damn, Enty! You blew my cover! Joaq was going to announce his big comeback after he reads MY screenplay!

    :-{

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  12. I can't believe he took the occasion of a charity ball to make it all about himself. And honestly you can just quit acting without making an announcement about it. It CAN be done if you try really hard.

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  13. I should say event, not ball. and let me add that in spite of this I would let him have a smarmy narcissistic nervous breakdown in his undies in front of me anytime.

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  14. I don't know, I think this guy is a borderline schizophrenic. He might actually walk away for good!

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  15. Houston, we have a problem.

    Regardless of whether he is serious about quitting, JP looks a mess. What is that guy on (or not on that he should be on)? "Just" booze let's hope?

    And to dig on Casey Affleck a bit, who would let their buddy talk to the press in that state?

    Even if you were planning some kind of joke, you have to call the joke off due to um... internal weather conditions so to speak.

    Not cool guys.

    Wow.

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  16. I forgot to add the tag:
    Friends don't let friends drunk(?)-talk-to-the press.

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  17. He reminds me of an uninspired Crispin Glover - more than a few peanuts short of a PAYDAY bar.

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  18. I think he's either on the drugs, or it's a joke. I mean he's kind of known for fucking with the media right?

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  19. Is this the answer to the blind about the actor that flipped out when someone made a comment about his thinning hair?

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  20. i thought this retirement article was crap too when i heard about it, and didnt even bother to read the details

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