Monday, January 05, 2009

The Most Awkward Hand Holding Of All Time


The picture above just cracks me up. I have no doubts that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are friends, but the hand holding above is the most awkward thing ever. When is the last time you were with someone and reached across your body, leaned over, and forget it. It is almost like he is just desperate to hold on. She is making it pretty tough on him actually. Maybe the hand holding at the front row of a Lakers game just kind of goes above and beyond friendship. Who knows. All I know is that she is holding both of her hands, but somehow Jake has managed to get a hand in there just in time for the pap shot. I have seen other photos from the game but this is the only hand holding shot. All the others were drinking, eating, Jake talking to Reese either about basketball or just pointing out the guys and whether he would do them. It was hard to tell. Oh, and Jeffrey Katzenberg of Dreamworks was the one who bought the tickets so don't think that Jake decided to spend big bucks on Reese to go watch sweaty men run and stretch and bend over. No, he could just do that from the privacy of his own living room.

So, tonight when you get home. I want you to look at this picture and copy it with your significant other. Test to see how relaxed it makes you feel and if it is natural. Make sure you get that lean as well. Wearing the stupid hat is optional.


39 comments:

  1. OK Jake...in this next shot...we want you to act like you're not gay. NO! I said NOT gay!

    Oh forget it...

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  2. There are other shots of them.... but do they look any more comfortable?

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  3. They're not holding hands...her hands are clasped. You can't see his hand at all. She's praying and he's trying to hold himself.

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  4. Wait. You CAN see his hand. It's on her arm. I don't see the awkwardness. Well, I can a little bit because of the whole "He's gay" situation.

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  5. I think your right Harriet, unless he has the most feminine hands i've ever seen

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  6. Yeah, Jake's hand is on his own arm, those are both Reese's hands. Right? 'Cause, what Mexi said. I don't think he's got girlie hands...

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  7. maybe holding hands isn't in the contract and she was holding out for a bonus ?

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  8. His right hand might be on her right wrist but they're not holding hands. Who cares anyway? We all know their thing is fake.

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  9. I can't help but wonder who Reese is getting some from. Every time I see pictures of her and Jake. Same with Kelly Preston. And Katie Holmes. I really really want to know where they get theirs due to their public arrangements.

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  10. Well Enty-poo, then you should go over to the gyllenbabble Jake worship place or even better go over to IHJ and have a look at the gallery. Don´t cry Enty but they really sell a good image there. I don´t care if they are real or fake, they have gotten used to each other and are promoting their image believably this time.
    Again Enty why are you so tootsie-like concerning the Gyllenspoon-show? If you know something, let us know.

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  11. They're all getting a piece from Ben Affleck.

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  12. does Katie Holmes strike you as a women who's "getting some" from anyone? she needs to get some...help.

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  13. Those are both Reese's hands, Enty!

    She's holding her knee with them clasped. Jake's hand is out of the shot.

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  14. What Jax said. Also, Suri looks unbelievably miserable in the latest photos. Pacey, I know you're busy with your new show, but rescue them before it's too late!!!

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  15. Anonymous11:58 AM

    lol@twunty

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  16. Both are Reeses hands. I could tell that just by looking at the pinkies. To answer the other question, Reese doesn't strike me as someone that needs sex, Katie looks like she hasn't had any in a looooooong time and is about to explode, I think Kelly and John each have their own lovers that are under disquise of being the hired help.

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  17. Why does Jake insist on wearing a tea cozy on his head?

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  18. I guess that I just dont understand about this fakery is WHY they would have to do it. What are their reasons?

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  19. Compare the pics of Jake with Reese to these.

    Linnea, from the rumors I've heard it sounds like Jake is bi, and Reese thinks their relationship is real, but he's cheating on her with dudes whenever he can.

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  20. thanks mooshki-

    see, that explanation i can def buy, its the whole*"they are both faking it" i dont get.

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  21. Linnea, from the rumors I've heard it sounds like Jake is bi, and Reese thinks their relationship is real, but he's cheating on her with dudes whenever he can.

    LOL!

    Jake is gay and doesn't have sex with his beard.

    They are both actors, this was a good photo op, but Reese and Jake still weren't believable.

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  22. please!! toothy tile, ummm, jake g-haal does not hold hands with chicks...

    and im sure reese, katie, and kelly preston have all invested in a buzzing banana...or a hot pool boy..

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  23. As for Reese they said she didn't want to come across as being compared to Jennifer Aniston. So by hooking up with someone right away took care of that.

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  24. I stand by my version, and I dare you to prove otherwise. :)

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  25. Really, MD, why not tell us why you are so sure Jake is gay.

    And Mooshki do you really want to compare this time? They did well this time, you know.

    Are you aware that Jake and Austin did promo work for BBM when they were at the Lakers game back then?
    Or is this too much to comprehend?
    Or are you still believing Ted C? He did some promo work then too, he tried to do the same shtick again with James Franco only this time it did not work very well.

    I guess at that time some people thought that a little BI could not go wrong, could even be helpful to get the gays and bis and hags and "open minded" ones to see the film and buy the dvd so they did not intervene. They probably couldn´t imagine that some fringe fandom and Ted C would go gaga.

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  26. no Jake's not gay...but his boyfriend is.
    puhleaze.

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  27. Oy Vey! Fauxmance!! Jesus .. my sham of a marriage had more passion in it than these two! And they call themselves actors! Ha!!

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  28. Mario is loving the photos of these two right now and is gushing that they will get married sometime this year

    Im starting to believe the rumor that he is getting paid off to say that this is a legit romance. He used to be all over the Jake is a homo thing.

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  29. Jake. Give. It. Up.

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  30. @mellowyellow

    stevie wonder can see that jake is gay...maybe its the ralph lauren romance that he wears, lol...

    so she didnt want to appear desperate? well, ahem, dating a homo sounds pretty desperate to me...and btw, jennifer aniston dates a homo too, so she needs to try again...really, who's checkin for reese? she seems hella boring!!

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  31. When did Reese start looking like Mathew Perry?

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  32. Yes, Reese lookes vewwy tired,
    tired of putting on the big show.
    What do these celebs tell their little ones?
    And what do the little ones think of their mommy/daddy units when they turn into big people and look back on all the pretending?

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  33. I think when you're the child of celebrity parents in a faux marriage (especially where one or both are gay), you probably have lots of 'uncles' and 'aunts' who come and visit, or who live in the second house, and you probably get left with the nanny while one or the other goes out overnight.

    As you get older you realize that your parents' marriage is really a friendship with professional benefits, and you see that at least some of the 'uncles' and 'aunts' may have been boyfriends, girlfriends or just friends. There's probably some bitterness and judginess in adolescence--but when isn't there?

    After that, it's pretty easy to understand your parents choices: Dad + Mom, playing straight = $XX,000,000 acting salary; Dad or Mom alone and openly gay = $XXX,000 acting salary. Sadly, it's as simple as that.

    The Catch 22 is that nothing will change until one of the top five highest paid actors, male or female, comes out and maintains their career, reputation and fan base; and that won't happen unless things change.

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  34. I'm thinking they're about to do or just have had "thumb wars". So, yeah.

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  35. Hmmm, interesting comment about Reese not wanting to play the "victim" role as Jennifer Aniston had to. I could not figure out why Reese would play along in a faux relationship, and that's the best explanation I've heard so far.

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  36. I think the "relationship" with Jake protects Reese from more outward scrutiny by the press and public about her real private life with her children. And that maybe she likes being single but being single when your ex-husband has a seemingly hot, well-publicized ongoing relationship is not acceptable in Hollywood.

    But maybe Reese was hurt and not ready for another committment, so they stuck her with Tea Cozy head because it they think it helps him fend off rumor and gives her breathing space.

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  37. "They're not holding hands...her hands are clasped. You can't see his hand at all. She's praying and he's trying to hold himself."

    I think its just expected that the manicured hand is his ;)

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  38. ^ Another sign of internalized homophobia even the open-minded types carry around with them.

    Why do we treat gay men as if they're women?

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