Monday, September 28, 2009

Johnny Depp Saved Courtney Love's Life


If you are tired of Courtney Love and her antics you can blame Johnny Depp. Courtney gave an interview this month to In Style UK which obviously had a lot of empty pages to fill. In the interview Love describes how she once overdosed and had her heart stop only to be revived by Johnny Depp. She doesn't explain what she overdosed on or how Johnny Depp happened to be there. What is clear though is she never did have sex with him so your fantasies are still safe.

"Nobody has ever loaned me money. I mean, I was going to die on a few occasions. Johnny Depp gave me CPR on one. That's as close as I ever got. I was watching that movie where he plays Dillinger, and I was like 'Mother f***er, I never had myself any JD except CPR.'"

I assume JD stands for Johnny Depp because I think we can all agree on the fact that Courtney has probably spent a good deal of time drinking Jack Daniels, or JD for those of you who are too drunk to pronounce the entire name.


13 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:11 PM

    Still means his lips touched hers.

    Just sayin'...

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  2. Courtney Love can't remember last week, let alone last decade. She's good at getting here name out there though, and no better way of doing that than by mentioning Depp.

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  3. Johnny Depp will probably not comment on this so Court can mouth off all she wants.

    I wonder how many times she has overdosed.

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  4. I guess we just found out Johnny Depp's only flaw.

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  5. DNfromMN: maybe Johnny only did chest compressions?

    I can't imagine why he'd ever be in the same room as her, so I'm gonna say in her drug haze, she confused him with Skeet Ulrich.

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  6. I think he probably just stuck the big needle in her heart like they did to Uma in Pulp Fiction.

    Maybe Courtney got some CPR from Hugo Chavez? They looked pretty chummy.

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  7. Johnny Depp wasn't always a benevolent Oscar nominee. Once upon a time he was known for getting shitfaced and trashing hotel rooms, especially when he was with Kate Coke Nose Moss and Wanna Ryder. He DID have a share in the infamous Viper Room. I doubt that River Phoenix was the only cat to OD there.

    Johnny Depp is beyond awesome, but that hardly makes him a saint.

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  8. ebay is right, johnny used to be a bit rough. i didn't care for him when he was younger. yes, i hate to admit it, but i didn't lose it for him until he became capt jack.

    i'm such a dork.

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  9. Eh..I'm willing to give Johnny a pass for saving her. He paid for someone's chemo who didn't have the money. I say it equals itself out. I never liked him in his Kate/Wino days. I like him better now that he's grown up a little.

    I still feel sorry for Frances Bean. Can you imagine having Love for a mother? I'd rather be raised by wolves.

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  10. Ardleigh,

    RE: I still feel sorry for Frances Bean. Can you imagine having Love for a mother? I'd rather be raised by wolves.

    Thanks for the loudest laugh of my day. Simply fantastically painfully funny.

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  11. Anonymous6:11 PM

    They probably ran into each other a couple of times in the early 90's. I mean Johnny Depp hung out with half of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers who hung out with River Phoenix and jammed onstage a couple of time together. And who else happened to be in the scene/area was Nirvana. One big heroin/dope mess really. Don't know about Johnny Depp saving her life but they were definitely all together at one point.

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  12. If there is a God,

    Would He/She please send Courtney Love to somewhere other than this mortal plane, as to relieve the rest of us of her annoying presence?

    Kthx&bye!

    The Rest of Planet Earth

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  13. Why, oh, why did Johnny have to know CPR? Frances and the rest of us would be so much better off.

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