Ted C Blind Item

Oh, Roxy Couture! Don't you know a cheating, horny, impossibly sexy tiger can't change its stripes?

Sorry all, how rude of us not to properly introduce you to today's BV first! Meet Roxy—a gorg gal who likes everything in life to be of the highest and utmost class. Mainly when it comes to men.

Perky yet shy, vampy yet motherly, Roxy appears as if she's got the perfect life: cute kids, successful career, A-list friends, and the most hunky husband, to boot.

Only problem is, that hubby o' hers has eyes for everyone but her. Don't you remember? As you've already met him. Remember...

Stud-Bucket LeBeouf? The insanely doable womanizer who likes to whip out confidentiality agreements whenever he steps out on that pixie-perfect wife of his?

Sure, that's pretty standard in this sleazy town, but remember...Stud literally carries around these typed babies everywhere he goes. Yes—LeBeouf gets that much action on the side.

We were always unsure whether or not Rox knew what her man was up to whenever he left her (and the kids) at home. We assumed she just turned a blind eye, like so many of these H'wood women do, but as of late, friends to both Roxy and Stud who know about S-B.L.'s extracurricular activities cannot stop talking about "poor" Ms. Couture because she truly is that clueless!

See, R.C. has been recently offering up advice to select members of the Cheated-On Wives Club in Hollywood. She furrows her plucked brow and likes to sit down for a heart-to-heart about exactly what to do when husbands go looking for those much sluttier, younger girls.

And the advice isn't to call your lawyer, in case you're wondering, it's to stay put and stick it out. Roxy uses her husband as an example of reformed redemption, which is preposterous, as the dog's still stepping out on Roxy left and right, unbeknownst to her.

All these babes who Roxy's preaching to want so badly to tell her to look at her own sham-filled marriage, but they can't. No one has enough guts to shatter Couture's whole world! Because, trust, if she knew the kinds of moves Stud-Bucket was putting on all of L.A. (and beyond), she would surely die of humiliation.

Ah, love really is blind, eh? Or demented, take your pick.

But Happy Valentine's Day, anyway, everybody!

And it Ain't: Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Felicity Huffman