When I first saw The NY Post this morning I thought Jessica Alba had set Gwyneth Paltrow on fire. Why? This headline. "Jessica Alba almost starts a fire cooking fish sticks" I thought to myself what have these two been up to while I was sleeping. Then I remembered of course that fish sticks are an actual food too and not just a nickname for a pretentious actress.
It seems that Jessica wanted to make some fish sticks but couldn't figure out how to turn on the oven in her hotel room. Instead of calling down to the front desk for help, the hotel says, "She ended up almost causing a fire in her room. Fire alarms ended up going off throughout the hotel. The smoke was so bad that fire trucks had to come. The other guests in the hotel were pretty pissed."
One word. Microwave. Oh, and tartar sauce.
ROFL
ReplyDeleteFish Sticks=Pretentious Actress?!?! Never knew that.
Two things:
ReplyDelete1. Google is your friend
2. When in doubt heat the oven to 350 degrees.
What a maroon.
"Then I remembered of course that fish sticks are an actual food too and not just a nickname for a pretentious actress." - LMAO
ReplyDeleteroom service.
ReplyDeleteWho has an actual oven in their hotel room? I've seen kitchenettes in motels, but I've never heard of a full kitchen in a hotel room.
ReplyDeleteBizarre.
Try Long John Silvers next time.
ReplyDeleteSeriously? How different from a normal oven can a hotel oven be? Methinks she has not used an actual oven in a while. Sickening.
ReplyDeleteI THINK SHE NEVER COOKS AND RARELY EATS....SUITES HAVE SMALL KITCHENS IN SOME HOTELS...USUALLY FOR GUESTS WHO ARE ENTERTAINING TO KEEPS NIBBLES WARM...
ReplyDeleteSO WHERE DID THE FISH STICKS COME FROM ? NEVER SAW THEM IN THE MINI BAR..
You can't cook fish sticks in a microwave.
ReplyDeleteThey're shallow fried, deep fried, oven cooked or grilled.
Incidentally, I am eating some fish sticks right now (oven baked).
I only seem to have meals while sitting at my computer, these days.
Dipshit.
ReplyDelete@Shmooey beat me to it! fish sticks get soft and not tasty in the microwave, I like them grilled...
ReplyDelete-It's obvious that Alba hasn't used an oven in a looong time, she's always saying that she strugles with keeping her weight down.
What a cruel thing to do to the next guest(s) staying in the hotel room: cooking fish! Alba seems sweet but also appears to be as dumb as a box of rocks. Much like Jessica Simpson.
ReplyDeleteDo you think it has something to do with the name "Jessica"??)
Any exposure is better than no exposure. She's obviously desperate.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm wrong for thinking this but she sounds ignorant and selfish.
ReplyDeleteHow hard could it be to call guest services and ASK someone to show you how to operate the stove? If her child was in the room then she put her at risk because she didn't want to seem "dumb". It is so easy to start a fire in an oven if you don't know what you're doing and the smoke alone can kill someone.
Like I said, Ignorant and Selfish.
@Mango
ReplyDeletewait! I'm a "Jessica" and I'm sure I'm not dumb, but man...those two are making us look bad.
What Icecat said.
ReplyDeleteShe has seemed ignorant and selfish since that whole incident last year when she vandalized property wherever it was putting up save the whale posters and then didn't take responsibility for it.
There are stories abound here in Vancouver about what a WITCH she was when she worked here on Dark Angel.
Why is Gwyneth called "fish sticks"? I remember Ted Casablanca used to call her that too.
ReplyDeleteOh, and, very funny Enty! ;-P
What a Bimbo!!!
ReplyDelete@ Jess - Sorry! Obviously the curse doesn't extend to all Jessicas! :)
ReplyDeleteYes, Alba is ignorant and shellfish--er, selfish.
hahaha...fishsticks. What kind of oven is THAT complicated??
ReplyDeleteGoopy never would have made an amateur mistake like that. Puleeze. She's perfection personified. I have a feeling the fishsticks were for Honor and Jessica put them in, spaced out and they caught on fire. I would be pissed if I was paying for a five star room and it smelt of burnt fish too.
ReplyDeleteDammit. Now I'm gonna spend the whole day wondering if I should call her Gooper or Fish Sticks. This is gonna be like a song I can't get out of my head. Thanks a bunch, Enty.
ReplyDelete