Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Let's Talk The Bachelor Pad


Come on did you seriously think I'd commandeer this blog and NOT talk the Bachelor Pad? Let's get comfortable and settle in for some "Bitch,please." with Jax.

First, I did not expect it to be so much like the Bachelor show on ABC. I think I was thinking separate entity like Paradise Hotel. Oh my god, who didn't LOVE Paradise Hotel? Anyway, so the cast pulls up in separate limos and greets Chris Harrison individually like they haven't been talking and seeing the guy constantly for the last 3 weeks. They all enter the house in very suspicious order with Tenley screeching as each one enters the room. Newly married Melissa Rycroft co-hosts for some odd reason and after all the rules are explained the cast wonders off to find out they are all sharing bunk beds in one room. That would suck. They are staying in a gorgeous, massive, multi-room mansion with several bedrooms and bathrooms and they are all crammed into 1 room. Didn't stop Michelle and Craig from getting it on the first night! And Tenley, being the 5 year old girl she is, tells everyone and then gets corned by Michelle in the Big Scary Bathroom. Bitch,please. Everyone knows if you talk smack about the crazy girl your a-- is gonna get corned at some point. The lesson to be learned is only talk about girls you can take. Oh, and don't cry like a toddler on national tv. Or just keep your nose out of it and no more Big Scary Bathroom situations.

Drinking happens, people pair off and some already hook up. And I do not blame Natalie one bit when faced with that fine specimen Jesse? Hell-o! Elizabeth has come forward as the Stage 5 Clinger. Apparently her and Jesse K. hooked up a few times/fell in love before the show and she's having a hard time dealing with the fact He's Just Not That Into You. So now she has decided to play the "girls will vote you out for being a dick to me" card and tells him, "Just tell them you are in love with me, pretend you care about me." Poor Jesse, you can tell he has no idea what to do with the stalker in the bunk bed below. She just doesn't seem to get It. But boy is it going to be fun to see her try!

Craig M. and the Weatherman are back,much to the chagrin of the Weatherman and the women, who were unsuccessful in voting him out. Out went Juan instead, basically because he cheated on Nikki, another ex in the house. The girl that got voted off was Michelle, her brand of crazy was past its sell by date. So far the show has proved to be pretty entertaining, more so than the original shows it spawned from. But for the love of Lagerfeld, somebody at ABC please tell Chris Harrison his plaid shirt/lavender tie was NOT a fashion hit.


25 comments:

  1. oh don't act like you never watched it!!


    i'm out..thanks for reading!

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  2. *blinks* Whaaa?

    Where/when does this show air?

    Doesn't sound like my cup of tea. When I want trash TV I guess I'll stick my housewives (who I'm rapidly growing weary of...)

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  3. jax, I have never even heard of this show?

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. It started last night. Big Scary Bathroom. Snort!

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  6. Anonymous2:28 PM

    I don't care for reality shows...

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  7. Bitch please, I thought it sucked so I had a two hour phone conversation instead.

    Ya, I'll probably tune in again next week. :(

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  8. for those wondering bachelor pad is the cast offs from both the bachelor and bachelorette shows...all in one house competing Survivor style (with food and booze) for $250,000. girls vote guys off and vice versa. just started on ABC last night.

    it's complete trash for the mind,but reality show isn't?

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  9. I watched ten minutes, and I was bored.

    I am having much more fun watching BB12 with the idiot big boobed redhead who says she's a "chemist". MmmHmmm.

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  10. i cannot watch BB. zero patience for this season.

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  11. I thought the idiot big boobed redhead was a "VIP cocktail hostess"?? I wonder if she knows Tiger Woods or George Clooney? What's with the wussy guy kissing her butt all the time?

    BB12 sucks too and yet, I still watch.

    I'm anxiously awaiting another dose of the Rachel Zoe Project. Now, that's some good mind trash. OMG, the Chanel suit wasn't delivered! End of the world.

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  12. Nothing to add, just wanted to shout a huge THANKS for taking good care of us while Enty was away.

    Your wit amongst others is one of the reasons I'm a devoted slave to CDAN.

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  13. @ califblondy - I thought George Clooney's tastes ran to black men?

    Hey, I wonder if George knows Tiger... LOL

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  14. Black men? What about those young Italian guys? LOL.

    Did anybody see that blind item (supposedly) about Tom Cruise and David Beckham? Damn, I'm dying to find out if that's true.

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  15. Lol@ califblondy re: Racehl Zoe project and the horror of the Chanel suit not getting delivered.

    Nice review, Jax. Thank you.

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  16. thanks peeps!

    oh PS the enty comment above was ME- JAX..forgot to sign the eff out again when i posted this article. just noticed.

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  17. ...and i just spotted a hilarious typo,but it's staying.

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  18. Merci Beacoup Jax/Enty/WhoeverYouAre. ;)

    I also have more trash tv than I can handle with RHONJ. And I don't know how much more of that I can stomach.

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  19. Jax, in the spirit of Michael K., all hilarious typos should always stay. You're just part of a fine tradition.

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  20. Thanks for keeping the party going! I enjoyed Tool Academy but my trashy taste runs more to 80's nighttime soaps like Dallas and Dynasty. Someone needs to put Linda Evans and Joan Collins back on tv right now.

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  21. haha! twice. i spelled corned for cornered! your ass is gonna get corned!

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  22. I noticed that, and thought that "corned" was some new expression I didnt understand! :P

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  23. I LOVED this show! I can't wait to see the rest of the trainwreck. If I was Jesse K. I'd get as far away from Crazy Nanny as I could! But she knows how to manipulate which makes me think she's going to be around for a while...unless Jesse convinces the guys to get rid of her next week.

    Quote of the night was from the Weatherman re:Michelle: "It's hard to pin a rose on a straightjacket."

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  24. Anonymous6:26 AM

    smh@the entire posts.

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  25. Well,now its obvious Jax and Enty are one and the same.

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