Monday, June 20, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

Must admit: we've been pretty worried about one par-tick Vicer lately. See, we adore Crotch Uh-Lastic and his hump-happy ways, but the dude's been tweaking out of his mind lately. Believe us, we so much preferred dishing on his skanky sexcapades than his dubious mindset.

Which is why we're très thrilled that CU-L has put the cuckoo crap on hold and is making a sexy splash with his many boy-toys these days. But he's not into the poolside scene like he once was. No, Crotch has upgraded to...

The mile-high club!

Yep, Crotch has taken his fagola flair to the friendly skies. But he's not picking up horny hunks in Virgin's first-class cabin—'cause like any celeb worth his superstar status, C racks up his frequent-flier miles on a private plane.

Sound familiar?

It's like Crotch took a page right out of Fey Oiled-Tush's guide to being a dude on the D.L.

Remember, Fey likes to take his plethora of handpicked young studs into the clouds and explore the cockpit, if you know what we mean (and we're pretty sure you do)—all while his poor, bitched-at pilot watches on.

The good news is that C-UL's personal sky captain isn't dissatisfied with his closeted clientele. In fact he likes Crotchy quite a bit—in a strictly platonic, hetero way, of course...for now, at least.

The bad news? He's still spilling secrets about Crotch's sexy vacays to anyone who will listen—tho the news that C is bedding boys is shocking to about...no one.

But Crotch isn't just in it for the nookie, he likes taking his pseudo-BFs on trips for two around the globe. First they do the deed and then go on a cutesie date in some far-off foreign local,e away from the bright lights and paparazzi lens of Hollywood.

Now isn't that just the most romantic thing you've ever heard?

And It Ain't: Garrett Hedlund, Stephen Moyer, Chris Colfer


15 comments:

  1. Another boring-as-hell blind from Ted. Someone joined the mile-high club?! Escalando!

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  2. Seriously RQ you could of written that in one sentence. Not 10 paragraphs of fancy bullshit.

    I still think Ted's BI's are fake becuase he thinks the world is gay and buys stories from con artists trying to make a buck off of him.

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  3. Since I never heard of the three "And it ain'ts" I'm going to assume this guy is equally unknown.

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  4. Gotta be Franco. The and-it-ain'ts are pointing me in that direction, too, especially the Colfer hint. He's a little mini-Renaissance man, with his hand in the fiction writing, script writing, acting and singing coookie jars. Remind anyone else of Franco's work drive?

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  5. @Susan: It seems as if your under-a-rock dwelling ways have stumped you on this one. Hedlund was just the lead in Tron, co-starred with Gwyneth in Country Strong, and has been all over the place lately. Moyer is a lead on TrueBlood and married to Anna Paquin, and Colfer is one of the leads on Glee who just picked up an Emmy for his very good work. Also, if you think about the fact that he's using a private jet to travel in, he can't be that unknown, because he has to have a pretty decent chunk of change for those kinds of rides.........

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  6. I'm with Susan....

    climbing back under my rock

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  7. Skaarsgard from True Blood?

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  8. @MontanaMarriott I'm pretty certain Skarsgard is Nelly Fang which would rule him out for this b/c Ted only gives one pseudonym per player (unless/until the item/name is revealed, then he may assign a new one). Clear as mud, right?

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  9. Wait, why the reference to Virgin Air - wouldn't that sort of hint us to the fact that he's a Brit? The other thing, and maybe this is just a coincidence, but using the nickname CU-L reminded me of the word culo, which may also be (an offensive) hint about his ethnicity. But it's probably just a coincidence and I need to get my head out of the gutter.

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  10. This is silly trying to guess who this guy is. All of you wondering should just google the dumb name Ted gave this blind, and read the other posts about him. It's James Franco and that's that.

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  11. Sheesh. It's not like I take Ted C. blinds seriously or lose a lot of sleep guessing over them. It was just a little fun.

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  12. Warming up for taking his private jet back and forth every day between his Texas Ph.D program and Yale next year? http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/james-franco-pursue-second-phd-181745

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  13. Em is correct. Crotch-uh-lastic is definitely James Franco, this name was solved long ago. As to whether you believe it's true...? Who knows about Ted.

    But seriously, as RQ said, all this blind says is that he joined the mile high club. Whoo hoo? Most boring blind ever.

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  14. Note to Ted. Not everyone is gay.

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  15. I hate when the blinds mention people I never heard of. There are so many, "famous" people now, it's dumb. You can work in the business and not be widely known. And I don't care if the keygrip is acting out; I want big names!

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