Über-talented and fab Jerry Rock-Butt is publicly known for being a superstar, but privately, he's known for his super moods. Most recently? Even though Jerry's life is currently all roses—professionally and romantically—those who know Mr. Rock-Butt most personally are fully aware that he's been a bit down, as of late.
Pray tell, why?
Because as he gets closer and closer to sealing the deal with his current girlfriend, only the stud's best pals know that Jerry's true heart still lies with a super hot ex girlfriend Jer came very close to marrying.
Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple, Jerry's mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn't so far in age from her own!
Well, maybe incensed is too strong of a word to use at first, but it sure as hell wasn't once the ex and Jer started talking marriage! Mama Rock-Butt practically hit the roof! It was only a matter of time, then, before Jerry and this more voluptuous GF of his not only stopped talking marriage, but they broke up altogether.
And the mama's boy has seriously missed his old flame ever since, particularly now that he's on the verge of marrying blah GF Chutney Jones, who when compared to the vibrant, always-horny lover from his past, gets blown right outta the water. Babes are beyond different.
And nobody knows this more than Jerry, who fears he may have lost the love of his life.
Everybody can cry now, if they want, but I say this is just karma for letting your mommy arrange your love life.
And It Ain't: Justin Theroux, Mark Walhberg, Matthew Morrison
Could this be anyone other than Justin Timberlake?
ReplyDeleteJustin, but who is the woman? Brittany is close to his age. Cameron is thin, not curvy. Who else did he do?
ReplyDeleteScarjo?
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ReplyDeleteI thought Justin & Cameron too but she's far from curvy.
ReplyDeleteJanet Jackson maybe? They dated briefly, but maybe it was longer and they just kept it hidden. She's got to be closer to his mom's age than his.
ReplyDeleteAccording to wiki, he used to date Janet Jackson. She totally fits...but I don't know any of the details.
ReplyDeleteJanet! @LeeLee, that's good! Forgot that they dated.
ReplyDeleteJT and JJ FTW.
ReplyDeleteAfter the way Justin turned his back on Janet after the Superbowl debacle and let her take all the heat. I don't think Janet would want him back.
ReplyDeleteI'm going with Ryan Gosling.
ReplyDeleteCurvy and older, thought of Alyssa Milano automatically.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Rita. I guess Alyssa for the woman. Cam is athletic, not curvy.
ReplyDeletethe real question is with who Justin Timberlake really wanted to marry before?
ReplyDeleteit says he came very close to marrying the ex. also that the ex was much older than him.
ReplyDeletethat doesn't fit JT, does it? what older GF did he ever have?
The reveal said Janet Jackson, didn't even know they dated..
ReplyDelete@nancer - except for Britney, they were all older. JT is not that old, but hung around a much older crowd.
ReplyDeleteI remember an interview with Alyssa Milano, where she tenderly showed the special guitar that JT bought her, and I thought, oh yeah, they dated, and it was serious.
but were they almost as old as his mom??
ReplyDeleteHis mom had him very young. will have to google or something. Alyssa Milano is older than she looks.
ReplyDeleteSince Chutney Jones is assumed to be Jessica Biel, Jerry has to be Justin--it's only a question of who the older woman is. Agewise, JJ may be closer than CD, and she's certainly more voluptuous...OK, time to head over to IMDB & start looking up birthdates...
ReplyDeleteAlyssa Milano is 39 but is married and just had a child. And by all accounts happy. So if it is Alyssa its a little too late.
ReplyDeleteOK, I'm back w/all the necessary birthdates:
ReplyDeleteJustin: 01/31/81
Alyssa: 12/19/71
Cameron: 08/30/72
Janet: 05/16/66
Lynn Harless (aka JT's mom): 01/31/61
DINGDINGDING!!! We have a winner! Come on up, Ms. Jackson! (He should feel guilty for throwing her under the bus after the Super Bowl fiasco anyway, but if he really did throw away the love of his life, then he's got even more to regret than we thought.)
Oops, Alyssa should be 12/19/72...damn typos...
ReplyDelete^Thanks for the research!
ReplyDeleteSo he was douchey and threw his gf under the bus!
Ms. Jackson then it is!
Chutney Jones made me LOL :)
ReplyDeleteI had no idea Alyssa Milano was as old as that! She looks great, Cameron is starting to fade.
Naw, I don't think it's Ms. Jackson, Alyssa is a great guess considering she is really unavailable now. If you cannot move past your mother then your relationships are doomed I say.
ReplyDeleteI think it's Cam and Ted fudged the details some.
ReplyDeleteI thought Justin Timberlake already had a 'Ted' name? I skipped the comments, but will go back, but my guess is Justin with Cammie as the one he is pining for. Biel is definitely 'blah' (sorry, girl, but you are!)
ReplyDeleteWait - JT dated Alyssa Milano and dumped her? IDIOT! She's one of my girl crushes - loved her in 'Charmed'.
ReplyDeleteExcept for the voluptuous business this screams Justin and Cam
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ReplyDelete"Mama Rock-Butt" would be a good name for a band.
ReplyDelete"Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple..."
ReplyDeleteseems to imply the couple was really famous? I've heard the rumors about janet J as well but they were never a "hot" couple, were they?
I think it could be Alyssa or Janet. He was supposedly hot & heavy w/ Alyssa after Brit, but I don't think his mom cared for her much (no staged outings like w/ Cam & Biel). Although it could've been Janet. He seemed to turn into a major whore (Timbersnake) and went through a little slump after nipplegate.
ReplyDeleteNo date on it, I'm thinking Steven Tyler
ReplyDeleteSorry, ny 'no date on it' I meant that Ted in his oh so helpful way didn't ref if this was a last year flame or 20 years ago person.
ReplyDeleteThen again he doesn't seem to go into detail unless he's subtly outing people so who knows?
Janet doesn't strike me as the kind of girl that is "vibrant, always-horny lover." Ugh. She seems really dull and reluctantly gives it up. As well, when were they considered a "hotter than hot" couple.
ReplyDeleteIt's likely Cameron and Ted fudged the details, as someone already suggested. They made a movie together after they broke up, he's probably all about being wherever she is and trying to hook up and she seems like she wouldn't care.
I say all that because I know these people personally and not because I've really only ever seen them host SNL.
If Justin wanted Cammy they would be together..
ReplyDeleteI believe it's Janet and she stays horny just listen to her albums, nipple and "below the belt" rings..this chick is out there! She probably turned him out!
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is Janet. Alyssa seems a better guess but I don't think it is her either.
ReplyDelete"Chutney" is a great Ted name for Jessica B. While I wish all newly weds happiness, the reality that she won't fade away is disappointing. She is so boring.
ReplyDeleteAnd now that JT and JB are engaged, do any of you remember Enty's old BI about Jessica giving Justin a diamond-encrusted cock ring? That still makes me laugh (I am laughing out loud just typing this)! I wonder what she will give him for his wedding present?!
I'd call Cameron Diaz curvy, except for when she got really buffed up for A-Rod. She has curvy hips, and is not the typical Hollywood stick figure.
ReplyDeleteCameron and Diddy are back on, so that might be why he thinks he's lost her.
Totally agree with what 2bme said. It's Ms. Jackson. He couldn't get enough - that is until he reverted to his true greasy weasel self after the super bowl. They weren't real public cause they were always in a hotel room banging their brains out.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess "everybody can cry now" is supposed to reference "Cry Me a River?". If Justin, I go with Cam too.
ReplyDeleteTinselSass:
ReplyDeleteDUH! She'll be giving him a diamond-encrusted dick in a box. ;)
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ReplyDeleteI think it's Ms.Diaz. Most of the time Hispanic women are called curvy and voluptuous. She is half Cuban. I think this was a curve ball from Ted.
ReplyDeleteOmg, I applaud all of you who do not need a decoder ring to decipher Ted's blinds and his inanely embarrassing nicknames. They kill me. Seriously the ONLY reason I read these blinds is to read your collective interpretations, translations and guesses. So. seriously, thank you.
ReplyDeleteone more thing, when did people stop thinking Justin Timberlake was gay and tha Jessica was his beard? Ive read he was secretly gay so many times. Of course that is just gossip but then none of us are here to read a peer reviewed journal on history and/ or folklore. ;)
ReplyDelete"Babes are beyond different" -- that clue leads straight to Janet. Who is whiter than Jessica Biel?
ReplyDeleteJustin dated Fergie before he dated Britney. It's on Yahoo news today in some random photo thing.
ReplyDeleteI think she would be the older, curvy love.
I know Ted speak is a bit off putting but let's still try using over reading comp skills. The hot ext GF and the older woman are two different people. My guess is Britney for the hot ex GF and Cameron for the older woman. I remember a rumor that Cameron and Justin had a one night stand around the time he was trying to reconcile with Britney. She found out and that was the end of Justney- Britin? whatever.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to believe that a woman with Biel's body could be a bad lover. She has the best posterior I have ever seen.
ReplyDeleteI agree this is about Justin and Jessica, from whom I've always, always, always gotten the gayelle vibe. I would think Justin's most likely love is Cameron, but as far as her being curvy ... I've seen her many, many times, and she is as stickly as a rod. She is impossibly narrow, twiggy and flat - she's built like a pencil. She absolutely looks bigger and more curvy on screen, but that's relative - she is not "curvy" or "big" by any stretch. Presumably, Ted has seen Cameron in real life, too, so calling her curvy must be a joke, or he's referring to someone else...
ReplyDeleteSomeone wrote to Ted about this blind item & asked, "Is she perhaps African American or is she from another country?" Ted said "no" to both. That rules out Janet. I guess it has to be Cameron, but I agree with everyone that she isn't curvy. Unless he had another girlfriend along the line that we don't know about.
ReplyDeleteThis is supposed to be Justin and Cameron, for sure.
ReplyDeleteTed gives me a headache.
ReplyDeleteBen Affleck & JLo. Hollywood Hot couple !
ReplyDeleteTed recently answer a few questions on this BI and said hot ex GF and the older woman are two different people and no older woman was not afro-american - no he would not try to misdirect us with red herrings but don't believe that last one - this is def Justin, Cameron and Britney.
ReplyDeleteOh this is too easy.........
ReplyDeleteBack when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple.......This is just the timeline Year of 2002
Hot than hotter couple......was Britney Spears and Justin
Her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick.......A different women here.......Could be Cameron Diaz or one of my fav stars Alyssa Milano....Could be either...