I'm sure that in a few years, Tm Cruise would love April 18 to be like Christmas. You know, the day where people celebrate the birth of Jesus. Suri Cruise turns 6 today and in the Scientology world that of course means that if you ever want to move up a level there better be some serious gifts headed towards Suri's mailbox right now. Finish up that auditing and send your gifts. I would say send money but if they are in Scientology that is in pretty short supply and the church would like all of that directly. It is hard to believe it has been six years since Tom took credit for Suri. Every year brings us closer t the age when Suri turns 18 and hopefully can break free of Tom and the church and will all let us know who the daddy is. I see Maury coming out of retirement for a pay per view special and the dad coming out and jumping up and down all over Maury's couch while Suri actually stands and walks and doesn't need to be carried.
I have done extensive research on the Co$ and that sh't is cray-cray. Would strongly suggest looking into the testimonials of those who've escaped if you're ever looking for an interesting read.
ReplyDelete"It is hard to believe it has been six years since Tom took credit for Suri"
ReplyDeleteI don't know why but I have visions of Tom in some lab mixing the best of Scientology sperm adding just a bit of this and just a bit of that to produce his magnificent Suri creature. Too bad he didn't put in the "walking gene". I'm sure he blames that on Stepford Katie. Ooops I meant Stepford Kate!
Why do they always dress her in such rags? You would think they could afford to get her something nice. I believe she is wearing heels in one of those three pictures.
ReplyDeletemy money's on Chris Klein.
ReplyDeleteI have to add that I can't believe she is six! I thought she was much younger. Little girls in kindergarten should be using their legs to walk!
ReplyDeleteI can safely say that Suri is my least favorite celebrity child. She is far too young to be that insufferable. Way to go Co$ (and Tommy Girl and SK). Does she even go to school?
more like 6 1/2.
ReplyDeleteIf you believe surisburnbook, she is already way too advanced for school. And I believe her.
ReplyDeleteI saw pictures of her yesterday and I'm with dia, there's no way that kid is just turning six. I know kids can be tall (I had the tallest kid in his class), but it's her face that looks older.
ReplyDeleteWhy isn't she in school?
Am I the only one who finds these discussions of Suri in bad taste? Gossip all you want about her parents, Scientology etc. But I think criticizing a child's clothes and questioning her lineage is asinine. How do you think she's going to feel reading this crap in ten years?
ReplyDeleteSuri appears to be standing/walking in each of the pics here. I sure hope Suri surpasses everyone's terrible expectations and becomes a lovely, happy person. Happy Birthday and good luck, little girl.
ReplyDeleteYa know I thought for sure Tom would have put another kid in the contract....but I guess Chris said no.
ReplyDeleteAlso the anniversary of the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco. Always trot out the babies during that time. I think they still have two.
ReplyDeleteMisch, you know, I can totally see Tommy Tuneless micromanaging like that.
ReplyDeleteKalifornia, I'm sure she won't give a shit in 10 years. She'll either be so rebellious she'll find out the truth or she'll be so brainwashed, she won't be able to read anything not Co$ related.
Gosh it seems like yesterday we first saw her peeking out of Tom's jacket on a magazine cover.
ReplyDeleteI am so looking forward to seeing her grow up--she seems like such a character---she has always had such a strong personality. It will be fun to see how she turns out.
Cosign Kalofornia. Criticizing children is in poor taste. Say catty crap about their parents all you want though. I sure do ;-)
ReplyDeleteI don't understand all the hate for Tom Cruise? Because of his religion? Geez, I see a guy who's done nothing but be nice to his fans, help out people in trouble, quietly set up a detox center for people injured in the 9/11 attacks that noone else would do, he looks great and appears to be happy in his marriage and a good dad. Everyone should be so horrible
ReplyDeleteAnd here come the $cientolo-apologists.
ReplyDeleteI for one think she is Tom's child. Of course I always hoped Blanket was MJ's birth child - but after seeing that pic of the former bodyguard, I think we have a winner. I have always wanted to see a pic of Suri w/Shiloh...a month apart in age, but so far it hasn't happened, darn it!!
ReplyDeleteI don't like when people hate on Suri either. She may very well be a spoiled little monster, but plenty of non-famous, non-COS people that I know have spoiled little monsters, too. Children are a product of their parents. Badly parented children are badly behaved. For whatever it's worth, I do think she's a beautiful little girl. I hope she doesn't grow up to be as magnificently screwed up as I am afraid she will be.
ReplyDeleteSharknerd: you DO know you're on CDAN, right?
ReplyDeletelol, @ Vicki. Yup, CO$ has a team of new recruits on duty at all times with google alerts. Any mention of Tommy and they swing into action. Next they'll be mentioning how fast he can run. Dia Papaya, Tom mixes "the best of scientology sperm" weekly at John Travolta's "tea parties."
ReplyDeleteThey're the only group that's been banned from Wikipedia for fucking with parts of their page they didn't like, so, yeah, I wouldn't put it past them.
ReplyDeleteI like Suri. I think she's a beautiful little girl. I've never read anything negative about her behavior (other than in the comments on CDAN) but granted I'm not as well versed in most things gossipy - this is my main source of info. Maybe she's carried so often to keep her safe from the paps. Maybe she's carried because her feet are jacked from wearing heels since she was 18 months old. I don't know. Regardless, Happy Birthday (observed), Suri!
ReplyDeleteI feel for little Suri. I wish her parents didn't pimp her out to the paparazzi constantly. They obviously see it as good PR but she just seems terrorized from all the weird strangers and flashbulbs.
ReplyDeleteonly have one problem with this post...Maurey will NEVER retire!!
ReplyDelete^^lol^^
ReplyDeleteKalifornia - I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also agree with part of what PeaBee said. They probably carry her since there is a constant swarm of paprazzi around her. I'm sure that Katie doesn't tip them off. There are plenty of random nobodies out there who get off on being close to celebrities and would gladly stroke their own ego by ratting them out.
Suri seems like an adorable, normal preocious little girl. I love seeing photos of her (even though they are all being taken by the paparazzi jerks who yell her name 100 times).
I don't care about the conspiracy theory about her biological dad either. She is cute as can be and she is loved.
Suri looks just like Tommy Davis. You know, the head of Scientology's Celebrity Center and Scientology spokesperson. He is also Anne Archer's son.
ReplyDeleteNow why would she look like Tommy Davis, with the same eyebrows and face shape, the same frown, and everything else?
Anne Archer's eyebrows have strong genetics. Google images of Tommy Davis and you'll see... Suri.
That kid is a Mapoyher through and through. She has the Mapother eyes.
ReplyDeleteFor those asking why she's not in school, she legally doesn't need to go to a traditional school until the fall. I'm guessing she's got a tutor and learns at home....duh.
I feel so sorry for her, sometimes. Raised by that weirdo dad and that mom who's had all the life sapped out of her. Her every move stalked by paps, when she never chose fame for herself.
ReplyDeletePlus her effed up parents constantly talking about special she is. Who can live up to that? Yeah, she has all the money to insulate herself and she'll never want for anything, but right now she's a little girl who doesn't really get to be normal, if she even knows what that is.
Mitten, Holy. Shit.
ReplyDeleteYep, here come the clam-shills.
ReplyDeleteYou might as well take shots at Suri 'cuz, based on Scieno history, she's already permanently fucked. Hubbard's own kids were raised as Scieno royalty. Result: one committed suicide, a couple grew up to be real shits before being "disappeared" into the bowels of the cult to make way for Miscavige, and his oldest fought a decades-long battle to leave the cult.
LOL - @hairydawg
ReplyDeleteTo all those above, sorry I must have lost my manners to critique the poor little miss on her birthday. Happy Birthday Suri!
I will pause on the snark until tomorrow, when I will point out that those Smith kids seemed perfectly sweet up until they werent anymore.
B., I thought the one that gave the Playboy interview "committed suicide" after he left the cult. And L. Ron himself was murdered to make way for Miscavige.
ReplyDelete@Vicki Cupper -
ReplyDeleteIf you go to google images and search for tommy davis you'll see an image of him having a tantrum and he looks exactly like Suri in those images where she was making crazy faces at the paps.
He looks like Tommy Tuneless's long lost $cientolobro. Maybe Miscavige is personally measuring his thetan levels, too. Wink wink.
ReplyDeleteMitten Fluffy is absolutely right! Major reveal!!!
ReplyDeleteIIRC, it was Hubbard's oldest son who did an interview with Playboy. The son who committed suicide (although, yes, the circumstances were suspicious) had not had any contact with the press.
ReplyDeleteMiscavige may well have finished off El-Ron, but Hubbard had been committing slow-motion suicide for years so it's kind of a wash.
Duh, she looks like TD because he is a clone of Tom Cruise!!!
ReplyDeleteOh and leave the poor child alone - it is not her fault of who she was born to. I hope she will be able to over come the CO$ and be a lovely productive young woman!
ReplyDeleteThanks for clearing it up, B. I have a hard time believing anybody related to $cientology ever commits suicide. If they can infiltrate the US government, they aren't above outright murdering people.
ReplyDeletePoor little rich girl.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that Katie carries her so much for protection - last month there were pics of them leaving a restaurant, they left thru the FRONT door where all the paps were, Suri was actually walking, screaming/begging at the paps to stop, and Katie was just laughing. It was horrible.
As for Tommy Davis images - WOW!
What a sad day it is when people spend their time making fun of a 6 year old child.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll tell you - if I had to deal with a bunch of lunatics following me (and my child) around, I'd pick him up and run.
She's the spitting image of Tom Cruise. Turkey basters definitely come in handy.
ReplyDeleteI think Suri is Tom's child. I just don't think he had sex with Katie in order to produce said child.
ReplyDeleteI'm still holding out hope Katie and Suri will break free and one day write a tell all!
ReplyDeleteSuri looks more like Tommy Davis than Tom Cruise. Davis and Cruise have similar features which is why they probably used Davis, but there is no getting around the fact that Suri looks just like Davis. It is becoming more and more apparent as she gets older.
ReplyDeleteIn a couple of years it will be obvious to everyone.
They'll force her to get plastic surgery before that happens, Mitten.
ReplyDeleteI love the Scieno-scolds berating us for supposedly mocking a child. "Shame, shame, you cynical nasties!" All the while they're just parroting the Scieno line off a suppression card.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know there's a Scieno in the wood pile? You can smell the self-righteousness.
since she is only six i do not feel comfortable talking shit about her. I have a six year old a i wish a mf would say things like that about him. Its not her fault her parents r crazy!
ReplyDeleteTell me about it, B. I haven't seen anything on here anybody making fun of her. Plenty of posts making fun of $cientology.
ReplyDeleteALL HAIL XENU!!!!
Suri looks like a huge brat.
ReplyDeleteHer kookoo-for-analpuffs daddy treats her like the second coming. Of course she looks like a huge brat.
ReplyDeleteI think we are about four months late in wishing Suri a happy birthday.
ReplyDelete...And I have a five year-old, and if I was raising him in the clutches of the most twisted cult since the Shakers, I would expect you all to be ripping me a new asshole.
ReplyDeleteShakers ain't got nothin on $cientology.
ReplyDelete6 Earth years? Already? Wow.
ReplyDelete"supposedly mocking a child"
ReplyDeleteYou need to work on reading comprehension. What an asinine comment.
The Shakers had nice furniture, LOL.
ReplyDeleteKatie is an idiot, Suri is "amazing" and Katie is an idiot.
Her mama dresses her like a blue light special and she runs around the playground shouting "Uncle Daddy Uncle Daddy!!!"
ReplyDeleteThat pic on the far right says it all. What a little terror! She makes Will and Jada's kids look sweet in comparison.
ReplyDeleteI have visions of Tom in some lab mixing the best of Scientology sperm...
More like gargling with it.
*sigh* I know I shouldn't have typed that. Tomorrow I'll wake up to the sight of Cos minions going through my trash...
I'm a sucker for Suri conspiracies. I looked up Tommy Davis, and I don't see it at all. He does look similar to Tom, but Suri looks more like Tom than Tommy.
ReplyDeleteToday being her birthday, though... that's just laughable.
Tommy Davis?! All this time I was so convinced of Mapother and now I see these pictures. Would Katie actually do that? With Mapother, as weird as it was, the thought would be at least it's Tom's family. But this feels more like Rosemary's Baby. Gah.
ReplyDeleteMy friend has a 6 year old boy who is tall and big for his age, you would never pick him for 6. Maybe Suri is the same. Anyway, Free Suri! (and Katie).
ReplyDeletesteppy and roman holiday are CO$ agents, for realz. just look at their posts. poor brainwashed fucks..
ReplyDeleteI don't like to talk shit about kids. I firmly believe that family is off the table, but this child is a fucking asshole. She has been since she was very little. Her tantrums in the press are gross. I don't know why they let her act like that but she is a little asshole.
ReplyDeleteNow I feel bad. Six year old asshole and I am talking shit.
Now I love conspiracy stories as much as the next person, but Tommy Davis??? As if Tom C would give COS that power over him and his wife. When Tom was interviewing for his new wife, Katie came with added bonus of ready made baby, thus furthering Tom's cause of loving husband and now fertile father type, and Katie's dream of husband and lifestyle. As to Suris father? Josh Harnett is my guess.
ReplyDeleteThat first photo is so creepy. Kids acting like adults terrify me. Dakota Fanning was my number 1 fear until she grew up.
ReplyDeleteThat photo of Suri in the polka-dots and bangs is beyond adorable.
ReplyDeleteI love kids, but there was this one kid who lived by us that showed a lot of the same mannerisms and facial expressions that Suri does. He was incredibly spoiled. A few years ago, he ended up killing one of his friends out of curiosity. Sorry, but Suri looks like an absolute horror from all the photos I see of her. I'm not saying she's going to murder someone in cold blood, but both her and her father are considered SciTo royalty and are treated as such at the expense of the dignity of other human beings. I grew up in a cult, and I think I have a right to be a bit cynical, here.
ReplyDeletewho/what is Miscavige??!
ReplyDeleteWhy were the Shakers twisted?
ReplyDeleteWait hairy dog! I thought Steppy was Dina Lohan..She was defending Lilo the other day. Definitely someone inside somewhere. Interesting.
ReplyDeletePersonally though I still think Suri is the spitting image of Katie all the way. I can't see any man people have suggested as the father. But then I have trouble with that sort of thing anyway.
And I didn't make fun of a child but honestly Suri cannot read (even though she did write a book) so this blog won't hurt her feeling. All you worried about it can just simma down.
we cant make fun of a child -but according to CO$ Suri is an adult so..... KatE and Tom parade her for the press thats obvious, so they are NOT loving parents, loving parents would protect their child from that trama and its clear the paps tramatize her. As as much as I thought Suri was a Mapother the Davis pics were an eye opener .
ReplyDeleteThe Shakers were a celibate group who relied completely on bringing new people into the fold to keep them going, which is why they're all but extinct now. (Apparently a fair number of widows w/young children would sometimes join the group back in the day, and while most of the kids tended to leave once they came of age, some did stay.) I really wouldn't call them kinky--offbeat, yes, but not kinky. And yes, they did produce wonderful furniture and were renowned as amazing cooks in their day.
ReplyDeleteMy, my, bakes, loves cats & thrash music and can quote Shaker history from memory...you are a girl after my own heart, Robin.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Suri. Enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteWe have only 1 child. He is 7. He is the love of our lives.
I would do anything & everything for him. I dote over him. I think Tom Cruise acts the same way as I do about Our ONLY child. Don't hate him ... I think he really really loves that little girl. I know I love my little guy a whole lot!
Holy f**k s**t at the Tommy Davis pictures.... That is Suri's father.. I'd put the measly 7.00 in my checking account on it.
ReplyDeleteif i remember correctly brooke shields had a baby the same day suri was "born". even the same hospital i think. funny how i can't think of what brooke's child looks like (or even what her name is) but suri's image is burned in my brain. odd that suri is everywhere.
ReplyDeleteTommy Davis also looks a lot like Josh Hartnett. The problem with the theories about Scientology inseminators is that Katie was pregnant before she ever signed Tommy Boy's contract.
ReplyDeleteOh, and Scientology kids are allowed (encouraged?) to do whatever the hell they want, and the parents aren't allowed to say "no," so there's no way that she isn't an epically spoiled brat. Ditto with Will & Jada's kids.
ReplyDelete@Amy in MI:
ReplyDeleteIt's so obvious once you see it, isn't it? In some pictures they look EXACTLY alike. It's spooky.