Back in February when Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger got together to make shi**y music together because they figured if they combined forces they could make crap music at twice the output, I bet neither of them knew that six months later they would be agreeing to make a lifetime of shi**y music together and agreeing to co-host the Juneau Awards for the next 40 years where they would take turns singing the same songs they always sing just with different names.
Somehow Avril Lavigne traded in Brody Jenner and her foot long tattoo of his name for a 14 carat ring and a guy who will f**k anything that walks, other than Avril because she does not really do that. I present to you the new Canadian Royal family and the couple that will make denim tuxedos cool again.
I'm sure they will make beautiful music for the whole year or two they'll be married for
ReplyDeletethey look smelly. On the other hand, his hair looks better than it did previously.
ReplyDeleteThey look like brother and sister.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea who he is. I'm guessing he's also Canadian LOL.
ReplyDeleteI figured the naked prince harry pics would be the first story of the day.
ReplyDeleteI just read this elsewhere and thought it was a hoax. So strange.
ReplyDeleteOT: an update on my friend in the coma. She is now moving her arms and legs. When I told her I was there yesterday, she squeezed me hand super tight and didn't let go. When I told her I had to leave, she got a look on her face like she was about to cry. It broke my heart, but at the same time made me happy.
A few days ago, she tore out her breathing tube. But her hands are restrained, so she moved her head to her hand to pull it out. Drs say that is a good sign haha. It's just like her. But they have to keep her sedated so she can't do it again.
Thanks to everyone for the thoughts/prayers/everything. If you can keep it up, I would really appreciate it.
@seaward, this is so wonderful and inspiring to read...I'm so happy that she's progressing!
Delete@seaward - Thanks for the update! So happy your friend is getting better. She sounds feisty! And you are an awesome friend to be there for her!!!
DeleteKeep us updated! We'll keep the prayers flowing. Take care of yourself too :)
So glad to hear! I got chills reading that. I am so happy your friend is doing better. She will be in my thoughts for sure.
DeleteSeaward - great news! Hope this continues!!
DeleteDenim tuxedos! Maybe they can borrow these from Britney and Justin!
ReplyDeleteWonderful news seaward - I was just thinking of you this morning. Your friend will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteseaward - I missed what happened to your friend, but I'm glad to see there's improvement. I'm sorry :( Thinking happy thoughts and pixie dust for you guys.
ReplyDelete@seaward, very good news!She is in my heart.
ReplyDeleteSounds like good news seaward!
ReplyDeleteOT--Anyone see the Prince Hot Ginge photos NEKID?
I went straight to Dlisted when I found out, MK's post is of course hysterical.
They were talking about this on my way to work on the radio..I guess Chad was very recently talking about a girl here in Columbus that he was dating...oops!! And I'd rather get kicked in the face than have to listen to Nickelback or Avril's music..
ReplyDeleteLOL Libby I saw that this morning at the gym and almost fell off the treadmill.
ReplyDeletegoheels, my day was MADE. Love a ginger, love a fit young man wearing nothing but his palms. WOWWY!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, talent-wise they're just about made for each other. Now if they could just stay in Canada and take that little brat that looks like a 13 year old girl with them, there would finally be peace in the world.
ReplyDeleteBetween the naked PHG photos and Andy Coopers boyfriend cheating on him, Michael K has had a field day for his nono
ReplyDeleteNo kidding, Amy!
ReplyDeleteOn topic: Why do Avril's teeth look so yellow at her age? Does she smoke a lot or what? I don't bleach my teeth, I'm 41, and mine are MUCH whiter than hers. It's weird.
Haha Diana. I'm thinking we should say screw building a fence across the US southern border - the REAL problem is the northern border. KEEP THESE CANADIANS IN CANADA! ;P
ReplyDeleteNew Canadian Royal Family? Hardly. Neither are well thought of.
ReplyDeleteAnd, for what it's worth, it's the Juno Awards, not Juneau (that would be Alaska)!
Thanks Amber! Maybe Canadian Customs & Immigration won't let them re-enter the country. One can always hope, right, lol?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Diana, I thought you'd like to know I have a Wonder Woman box set. :)
ReplyDeleteHer dress will be a black and pink Fauxlita number from Ed Hardy and in lieu of flowers she'll walk down the aisle with a fingerstache. At the reception John Mayer and Scott Stapp will sing "I Got You Babe."
ReplyDeletesurfer - maybe we can get them to honeymoon on Anthrax Island, and get the Biebs to buy a timeshare there! I like you, and I don't want to subject you to them.
ReplyDelete*Junos
ReplyDeleteFML. For the good of mankind and our country (I'm Canadian), I hope this is a joke.
Denim tuxedos are called "Canadian tuxedos" where I live.
ReplyDeleteWait...isn't she dating Brody Jenner? Whatever. She's pretty insignificant anyway.
ReplyDeleteGreat news seaward!
ReplyDeleteThanks Amber!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a plan, although honestly, while not a fan, I really don't mind Bieber. He's just a kid, and does a lot of good work (charity) for someone his age. A lot that doesn't get reported. So I'd cut him a break. Unless you just want him out of the U.S.
Ears everywhere are recoiling in horror!
ReplyDeleteAmber, can he still wear a tuxedo shirt under the denim tuxedo? And you know Avril has to wear a Hello Kitty tee and some striped leggings.
Dear God: please, please let Avril have her "fashion line" Abbey Dawn design the wedding apparel. Amen.
Hahahaha! Amber, those gahdawful denim thingies Britney & Justin were wearing!! Wtf. lololol
ReplyDeleteBoy, Enty sure has a hate-on for Avril. Anyone know why?
And, wtf is up with her teeth?! Doesn't she have $ to get them fixed? I have a horrible toothache, no dental and if I had that kind of money, hell! any kind of money, my teeth sure wouldn't look like Avril's.
This site really needs a *like* button. Seriously.
I can't get over how much work he had done.. I mean yea he cut his hair but he practically had a head translant! He used to look like this..
ReplyDeletehttp://www.last.fm/music/Chad+Kroeger/+images/42251803
Sarah - I would be disappointed if he didn't wear a tuxedo tee & a cummerbund!
ReplyDeleteReeses - She probably is worried it'll affect her "singing" if she gets her teeth fixed a la Jewel LOL
The Canadian Tuxedo remark reminds me of the first time in my life I looked at a man and said....you aren't wearing THAT, are you?
ReplyDeleteHe was wearing a blue denim shirt with black denim jeans! He was flashing his straight man card that day, for sure.
@Amber And yet you reveal my alter ego to the world? Tsk tsk. Someone won't be riding in my invisible plane to Themyscira formerly know as Paradise Island. Run away now before I whip out my Lasso of Truth.
ReplyDeleteThe denim tuxedo is an Eastern European or German thing, it's not a Canadian thing.
ReplyDeleteThis has to be a joke, it really does. Nickelback and Avril Lavigne? Good Lord, that can't be real. It just can't. If it is true, I love how it went unnoticed for so long. Shows how little anyone actually cares.
I know Beiber does a lot of charity work but I chalk that up to his handlers. I honestly don't think he's smart or caring enough to think of others. It's all PR.
So, Enty...tell us how you really feel.
ReplyDeleteI've read Chad is a nice guy. If true, wtf is he doing with a bitch like her? And ugh...the music....
Lola, that's the first time I've ever read that about him.
ReplyDeleteLola & Vicki - Him being a nice, decent guy would be news to me. I shared a story about him in the BI about the pious lead singer.
ReplyDeleteNB had an afterparty at my ex's bar like 5 years ago. They had girls come up on stage to be drunk vageterias and hang all over them. He was inserting digits into places that are unfit for public consumption on stage. So grody.
Grody is so the perfect description of him!
DeleteThe radio station I listen to in the morning has musicians on all of the time (Kidd Kraddick) and they hate Avril. They said she was entitled and bitchy to everyone.
ReplyDeleteThey hate Nickleback but said Chad was gracious, friendly and took a lot of time out for fans and such.
They also said this was the start of the Mayan apocalypse.
A match made in musical hell, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteEw, Amber...gross. I don't know personally; maybe in fan settings and publicity settings he's completely different. It wouldn't be the first time that was the case.
ReplyDeleteJust when you thought she couldn't find someone uglier than her last husband.
ReplyDeleteMeh, it's Kidd Kraddick.
ReplyDeleteUgh. This guy. Loathe him and his "music." He's like the Jen A. and Nicholas Sparks of the music industry...everything they do is exactly the same as what they've already done.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, no, Canada does not want him back and no, he is not a nice guy. At least not what I have heard first hand.
Love how people steal their comments from other sights. I won't call you out, but you know who you are.
Ah, Amber---the vageteria! Glad to see you mainstreaming your new word!
ReplyDeletegoes in circles---maybe they have different names on different sites, and are just repeating their OWN comments?
ReplyDeleteI dunno, this is the only site I use my name on.
I meant straight from the other blog posts, not the comments. Course maybe this person writes that blog. Ah well.
DeleteRegardless of what you think of Avril on a personal level, there is no denying her incredible vocal talent. She can sing! Maybe her songs aren't all that great to some, but she has some pipes IMO.
ReplyDeleteAw, Vicki, I love KK in the morning (esp. jc). However, I bow to those with more personal knowledge about Chad than I ever hope to have and am quite willing to believe he is a douche.
ReplyDelete@landmanatee- whaaat? I have seen her in concert (dont ask why) and her singing was horrible. She also looked like she hated every second of it.
ReplyDelete@landmanatee- whaaat? I have seen her in concert (dont ask why) and her singing was horrible. She also looked like she hated every second of it.
ReplyDeletelibby - Haha I saw a few others using it last week, and loved it! I really dislike saying "whore" and "slut". I will say "whorebag" on occasion, because the modification makes it feel less terrible, but those words are just used so carelessly nowadays and it bugs.
ReplyDelete@seaward - best wishes to your friend. Her responses yesterday sound very promising!
ReplyDeleteAgree with rhinovodka - they do look smelly.
Amber, 'vageteria' is the perfect term for certain 'ladies' who serve it up like it's on a buffet. It doesn't feel as slut-shaming as the others, it's a precise lifestyle description.
ReplyDeleteYou are supposed to shamefully shtupp douchebags, not marry them!
ReplyDeleteI'm talking about Avril, of course.
libby - I'm now thinking about submitting it to Urban Dictionary using your definition because it was perfect. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteDoooooooo iiiiiiittttt. :)
DeleteI think that part about Advril not liking sex is a clue to a blind.
ReplyDeleteDO IT, Amber! It's too perfect a word to be forgotten!
ReplyDeleteBe sure to include YOUR part when you use it in a sentence...'vageterias lining up for some d-list rock star', or whatever.
ReplyDeleteI can't see this relationship lasting...they're from different generations.
ReplyDeleteI remember listening to a CBC interview years ago when Nickelback was an up-and-coming band. Chad Kroeger came across as a very hardworking Prairie boy, who was willing to sacrifice for success and he seemed really motivated. I believe he's from rural Alberta or Saskatchewan. The total opposite of whiny...On the OTHER hand...
Miss Thing is a changeling from Northern Ontario, and she is not the stereotypical *nice* Canadian.
Most people from that area are eas-going, quiet, pleasant, more Shania Twain types. From most accounts, she's an ill-tempered little baggage with entitlement issues (no one appreciates or understands her). Friggin eh.
I miss Kidd Kraddick. Don't get them here. :-(
ReplyDelete@seaward - I was just thinking about how your friend was doing the other day, so glad to hear she's improving! Such great news, the brain can do so much to heal itself, just takes time. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteNever heard of him. He is perfect for her as I wished I had never heard of her.
ReplyDeleteLola, I have to admit I've never heard him, but alliterative names make me stabby. lol
ReplyDelete@Vicki - what about an intentional misspelling in order to create an alliteration? Like, Kara's Kookies or something? Mr. Frufra and I refuse to patronize such businesses. They make us want to crash our cars through their storefronts.
ReplyDeleteWait - I should have said Krash our Kars. Would have been much funnier! Some idiot rang my doorbell and distracted me. I hate the doorbell!
ReplyDeleteFrufra - I have a "thing" where I HATE when people spell C-words with a "K" to be cute! And I will absolutely not shop there even if it's in spite of myself lol.
ReplyDeleteIs she playing in the Women's Football League? Or what's up with her under eye sun block stuff?
ReplyDeleteOh wait, I forgot...it's cuz she's so edgy.
I am sorry, Canada. This too will pass.
ReplyDelete@Amber - you mean kute? Ha!
ReplyDeleteCatch you cats later - I have to work now - what a bummer.
Katch you kats later. I'm leaving - I swear.
ReplyDelete@Vicki @Frufra @Amber But the K thing (or any misspelling for cutesiness) is the WORST when applied to a place that is supposed to be child-rearing or educational...ie. around here I have seen a Kiddie Akademy Preschool and some others. Who would send their child to such a place?!
ReplyDeleteOh my Selock. I don't think I'd send my kid there even if it was the only option! I couldn't! It violates my phobia :P
ReplyDeleteCanadian rock royalty getting married...barf.
ReplyDeleteI just told my boyfriend and his first reaction was to say, 'isn't he her dad? Like actually her father?'
ReplyDeleteHa!
I love him.
What's really irritating is CBC News is calling this "a marriage of rock royalty." Of course the commercials are all for products to improve your circulation, trick out your bath tub and staircase for your safety and the Bose soundsystem (so you can play all your CDs!!!!) so you can guess their demographic. But rock royalty????
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, each story is accompanied by them reading tweets (lazy journalism) of people mocking this.
He is totally the douche lead singer of nickleback!!!! Gaaaaa
ReplyDeleteMy brain literally Exploded.
What Selock said.
ReplyDeleteI could never do Taibo because I couldn't get passed the guy's name. Maybe it's a little OCD of me or something but alliteration or especially certain sounds repeating drives me apeshit.
@Selock @Vicki @Frufra @Amber
ReplyDeleteThen ya'll would just love dining at the Kozy Kabin in good ole Westpoint CA where Blanc Debris (our weekend get away) is located.
Seaward-So wonderful to hear your friend is feeling better. That's a very good sign for a full recovery and I wish them all the best.
My ex was supposed to go on the road with NB and their mgr tried to get him to do something he doesn't normally do (he's an accountant) so he told them to get lost. Dodged a bullet: Touring with Nickelback.
FYI..Canada disowned these two loonnnggg ago! It's you Americans that kept buying there music and seeing their concerts. They're yours now! Ohhh and you can keep Pamela Anderson too.
ReplyDelete*their music not there
ReplyDeleteHer dress will be a black and pink Fauxlita number from Ed Hardy and in lieu of flowers she'll walk down the aisle with a fingerstache. At the reception John Mayer and Scott Stapp will sing "I Got You Babe."
ReplyDelete@ Vicki - and post reception they'll drive away in a limo (rattling beer cans attached to the back fender) as Avril flips off the guests. Classy!
@selock - I once drove by a day care place that had its name painted in crooked, faux-childish handwriting, with some of the letters backwards! What brainiac there thought that wouldn't confuse a toddler leaning to read and write?
If these two jerks are considered Canadian rock "rotalty", god help us. I can imagine tv reporters wanting to rip out their own tongues for being forced to say those words.
ReplyDelete@Seaward...More prayers coming from here....
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad when jerks turn out to be Canadian. Star here move to the states in the first place because they can make about 25X what they can here. Plus, if Avril Lavigne came back here, she's so wealthy now her tax rate would be about 99 percent.
ReplyDeleteCanadian Rock Royalty!...I hope Jian Ghomeshi (the CBC cultural /entertainment announcer for the Q show) didn't have to say that on his show...he'd probably quit first.
ReplyDeleteCanadians are generally too polite to stick up for themselves...they'll stick up for others, though.
I've been in the states maybe five times, and in person, have been treated like gold.
I thought I heard the Horsemen of the Apocolypse this morning.
ReplyDeleteSeaward, great news about your friend. Thinking of you both.
brb grabbing some disinfectant to clean the vom off my keyboard. I'm going to forget this post exists and go drown my sorrows in the nude pics of Prince Harry.
ReplyDelete@seaward. Hugs for you and your dear friend
ReplyDelete2012 END OF DAYS!
ReplyDelete@Laura - I agree that the sex comment is in reference to a blind. Wasn't there one quite a while back that many commenters believed was referring to Avril, regarding a celebrity who was sexually abused growing up and refused to be naked even if she was having sex?
ReplyDeleteEnty, will you be sending a gift on behalf of your readers?
ReplyDeleteThis is so random and funny because last night I was trying to think of the other group that people always talk shit about besides Creed (Nickleback)and then this flashed before my eyes today! HA!
ReplyDelete@Tuxedo Cat -- uhhh, the highest income tax bracket in Canada is less than 50% :)
ReplyDeleteHa! Reveal for the really old blind about the singer who doesn't have sex, but bathes with her pets, or something like that?
ReplyDelete